

Earlier this week, I slipped on my favorite flip-flops and hurriedly walked out the door, only to turn around a few seconds later and swap them for a pair of boots. That’s when it hit me – fall is here, and “winter is coming.'' In Atlanta, the heat lingers for a while, but I think it’s finally time to retire the sleeveless tops and denim shorts and commit to long-sleeved shirts and stylish slacks. Change is constant whether we want to accept it or not, and nothing displays this quite like the weather. But as someone who's been working in sweats and t-shirts for the past few years, I realized my closet was no longer giving what it was supposed to give. Half of my wardrobe felt outdated, and the remainder only partially reflected my current style.
So, after giving away a few bags to Goodwill and Insta-stalking my favorite influencers, I decided that my current “mood” would influence my style – but this still presented a problem. I wasn’t sure exactly what mood I wanted to convey. Because I enjoy the confidence of business casual looks. But if I’m honest, I also like the power I feel in more sensual styles. Still, the majority of the time, I love a comfy, cute, and casual fit. Luckily for me, I learned I don’t have to commit to just one, and neither do you. Our fashion choices can be just like us: multifaceted. Still, it doesn’t hurt to have an overall idea of your signature style.
So we talked to a few women who can help. Here’s 6 Black fashionistas you should know, along with their style advice for the colder season.
For Sneaker Lovers
Melissa Carnegie, Kicks and Fros Founder
How did you go about starting your sneaker collection, and what advice do you have for women looking to build their own? I started my sneaker collection, buying sneakers I liked and that fit my style. Advice I have for other women looking to build their collection is to start where you are. Outlet stores will be your best friend. You don't have to break the bank when starting your collection.
Give me three staple sneaker styles that should be in every woman's closet.
I would say an Air Force 1, Adidas Stan Smith, and Jordan 1.
What are a few ways to incorporate sneakers into our professional looks?
Always be yourself and pair kicks with your everyday style. One way I take them into a professional setting is pairing them with suits. Maxi skirts, slacks, and graphic tees also look great when rocking sneakers.
There's a narrative out there that heels, sandals, etc., are more girly or "feminine" than sneakers. What are your thoughts on this, and can you share some fashionable ways you incorporate sneakers into your style to dispel this?
I don’t agree with this narrative at all. You can 100% give all feminine energy when wearing sneakers. Sneakers with dresses always bring a feminine, soft edge. Crop tops, skirts, and cropped fitted tops with baggy loose bottoms also give feminine energy.
What's next for Kicks and Fros? Also, can you share a personal goal you're working on?
We launched a sneaker cleaner in the beginning of October I’m super excited about. It’s a project we’ve been working on for two years, and I can’t wait for our community to have it in their hands. A personal goal I’m working on is scheduling downtime to do something fun, something other than work, lol!
For Thrifters
Bicoastal B, Stylist
What’s your favorite thing about thrifting? What advice would you give to people who struggle to find nice pieces while thrifting?
My favorite thing about thrifting is finding designer/high-end brands for cheap. It literally gives me a high. I have been thrifting all my adult life, pretty much. The best advice I can give individuals who are wanting to thrift is to go with patience and kind of already have in mind what you’re looking for. Don’t be afraid to pull out your Pinterest board to look at inspo while shopping.
Are there any staple pieces you recommend we add to our collection?
Blazers are great to throw on with literally anything, and boom you’re that girl. Also, I’d say a leather jacket, a nice turtleneck, and a good pair of jeans and slacks.
When did you realize you wanted to be a stylist, and what services do you offer?
I first realized I wanted to be a stylist when I lived in Tokyo. I was putting looks together and posting them on IG. I had one lady DM me and asked if I offered a service, and the rest is history. Now, I offer a number of services: style boxes (where I thrift shop for your personal wardrobe based on a brief questionnaire), personal shopping, and photoshoot styling.
For Fashionistas
Pilar Scratch, Stylist
What's the fall fashion tip you swear by?
When it comes to autumn fashion tips, layering is key. To achieve a chic look, you can try out some of these top combinations: a long coat and neck sweater, white tee and wool pants, a long quilted vest, white button-up, & knee-high boots. When layering for the autumn season, it's essential to balance proportions and mix up textures. Keep this in mind, and you'll have a fantastic wardrobe in autumn!
How did you cultivate your signature style?
My signature style was honed through my study of vintage fashion, mainly influenced by the edgy yet classic look of the ‘80s and ‘90s. I delved into Pinterest boards and even interned at Patricia Field’s boutique in the early 2010s before it closed. I was fortunate enough to study under some of the fashion industry's greats, and the experience was invaluable.
Who are your style influences, and what have you learned from them?
I'm grateful to have worked closely with my fashion influences, Ty Hunter and Patricia Field. Ty is a dear friend of mine now. They've both had a significant impact on my sense of style. Through them, I’ve learned that fashion is an art form that manifests in clothing, and it's a fabulous way to express oneself. Additionally, it's crucial to not be afraid of taking risks in the fashion industry. Remember, the bolder the statement, the greater the risk.
Sometimes I go to events and it feels like we all shopped at the same place. Tell me about a few of the ways you keep your looks so stylish yet unique.
You can revitalize your wardrobe with a clothes swap. Try swapping clothes with your most fashionable friends. One great way to keep your wardrobe feeling fresh is to adopt a one-in, one-out policy. Get rid of items that haven't been worn in months and trade them for something your friend has grown tired of wearing. It's a win-win situation! By doing this, you can acquire distinctive items that will give you the feeling of a shopping spree.
What services do you offer, and what's the best way to connect with you?
Currently, I have the pleasure of working as a celebrity wardrobe stylist and serving as the Editor-in-Chief of Fashion Gxd Magazine. Our magazine is sold at Barnes and Noble, Walmart and is Amazon's best-selling magazine. We showcase a diverse range of entrepreneurs and their life journeys. I have been working as a wardrobe stylist and fashion/shopping expert for the last decade, dressing celebrities such as Fatman Scoop, Musiq Soulchild, Rah Digga, Mariah Lynn, Jim Jones for Fashion Gxd Magazine, and River Mason Eromosele. My expertise has been recognized by several reputable sources, including The Wall Street Journal, Insider, Instyle, Yahoo, Essence magazine, BET, People Magazine, The Source magazine, Bustle, Men's Health, and Huffington Post.
For The Girls Who Like A Little Sex Appeal
Taquiela Wright, Designer of Lingerie Brand Delisa Rose
I like that your designs feature different styles and textures (lace, chiffon, velvet). It gives more of an elegant look. Are there other stylistic elements women should try to upgrade their style?
Play around with different fabrics for your skin tones, body type, and body shape. As I’ve put on a little weight, I pick fabrics that accentuate my curves. But for your lingerie closet, for example, work with stretchy materials and things that will form to the body. Know your body type but also the comfort. The form, fit, and color is all important. Little secret: I do a lot of focus groups, and red is always the #1 color my girls prefer for sexy styles.
Talk to me about making sure our clothing is environmentally friendly.
It’s a journey with that because sustainability in top quality material is expensive. But you want to get something that’s durable. Velvet and lace is what I play around with most with Delisa Rose. But it’s good to pick materials that can be washed several times or collectible items.
Inside or outside of the bedroom, what are a few ways we can upgrade our look and add a dash of sex appeal?
Stick to the classics – like, the look of Chamise (her design) is not a new thing. It’s just the way I created it. So, I pair transitional sensual pieces with classics. That way, you can feel elegant and nice while walking outside while still owning your sensuality and sexuality. (For example, she was wearing a bright pink blazer in the interview and paired it with a lingerie teddy underneath.)
Now you have an interesting background. In addition to being a designer, you’re an engineer. How did your engineering background impact your journey into Delisa Rose?
I have to mention the manufacturing process. I didn’t think about how this was going to come together. I just decided I wanted to design a brand you can wear in and outside of the bedroom, so I had to learn garment production, but that was such an easy transition because of my manufacturing skill and sorting. I specialize in raw materials, so before it’s even processed I can tell if the purities meet the requirements, and that helps with laces and stretch quality.
For Risk-Takers
Monique F., Stylist
Are you big on accessories? What are a few must-haves you recommend?
I firmly believe in always accessorizing when leaving the house because these little additions, whether it's a piece of jewelry, glasses/sunglasses, a hat, scarf, or even a belt, have the power to elevate any outfit to the next level.
Who are style influences, and what have you learned from them?
My style is influenced by remarkable individuals such as June Ambrose, Tracee Ellis Ross, Rihanna, and Zendaya. They’ve taught me the importance of embracing risks when defining your personal style. Fashion, for me, is not just about clothes; it’s an extension of self-expression. It’s a means to showcase who I am authentically.
What services do you offer, and what’s the best way to connect with you?
I provide a range of services, including personal styling, personal shopping, wardrobe revamping, and wardrobe styling for on-set photoshoots and videos. The best way to get in touch with me, you can find me on Instagram at @Morefined and reach me via email at morefined@gmail.com.
For The Girls Who Live Out Loud
Tomi Randall, Stylist
How did you cultivate your signature style?
Over time, by allowing my authentic self to shine through. I was able to align myself with the brands that aligned closely with my own personal values while being unapologetic AF.
Can you tell me about one of your style must-haves?
Necklines: turtlenecks, crewnecks, v-neck, or a cowl are great. Each neckline deserves its own unique necklace that complements the shape of each given silhouette. So it’s MAJOR to give yourself options that help you elevate your look.
What have you learned from your style influences?
June Ambrose; said “ I'VE NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF TO BE A "FASHION GIRL." BECAUSE I DIDN'T GO INTO IT NEEDING TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE FASHION DESIGNERS AND THE HOUSES. I WAS BUILDING MY OWN ATELIERS AND WRITING MY OWN TICKET, CREATING MY OWN PATH.”
I’ve learned through the hard work & dedication June Ambrose possessed at harnessing and honing in on her authentic eclectics in the carvings of her path that I too can strive to create a standard, my own standard, the new standard.
Sometimes I go to events and it feels like we all shopped at the same place. Tell me about a few of the ways you keep your looks so stylish yet unique.
It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it. My style is divinely guided by my higher self. She comes alive with texture, embodies moods, & sets the tone for any room she enters.
What services do you offer, and what's the best way to connect with you?
I provide my client the full luxury experience for both styling and couture design services for red carpet appearances, interviews, music videos, commercial, film and TV and one one-on-one image consulting/ virtual styling.
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Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Vaginas. When it comes to the act of sex, have you ever really stopped to think about all that it goes through? Just think about it — when you’re not having sex, your vagina is just minding its business while in a relatively state of perfect peace. When you are having sex, though, suddenly it’s getting penetrated, at different levels of pressure and speeds, for minutes on end. And based on how the night is going — wink, wink — it might experience that over…and over…and over again.
I’m not saying that your vagina doesn’t like it. I’m simply saying that it goes through a lot during those moments of copulation — and sometimes, it’s without the pre- (check out “15 Pre-Sex Rituals That Could Make Sex A LOT More Pleasurable”) and post-care that it not only needs but truly deserves.
So, in honor of all that our vagina’s go through during coitus, I wanted to shout out four things that you should do for “her” before you have sex and four other things that you should do once the get down is over — things that will make her (and ultimately you) feel so much better about what transpires…during.
Before Sex Tip #1: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Shave
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My waxer and I are going to come to low-key blows in a minute if she doesn’t keep trying to take more and more hair away from my pubic mound. LOL. Me? I’m someone who likes my bikini line to be cleaned up; however, I prefer to not go completely bald. If you’re someone who is on the fence, something that may sway you over to my side of things is the fact that there is plenty of data out here that says pubic hair can help to decrease your chances of contracting an STI/STD.
One reason is that hair (everywhere) helps to protect you. Another is because, if you happen to shave or wax and then have sex 12-24 hours later, and your partner does have an STI/STD, there could be mild abrasions or cuts that could make it easier for what they have to be transmitted to you.
Listen, I’m all about a well-manicured treasure box happening — just make sure that you “handle that” a couple of days before sex…not mere hours before.
Before Sex Tip #2: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Avoid Washing Your Hands
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It’s kind of hard to have sex without using your hands. That said, if fingers are gonna be all up and around “her,” they need to be as clean as possible, so that bacteria doesn’t end up pissing her off. This means that if your nails are long, you need to use a nail brush to dig up underneath them. This means that if he goes to the bathroom right before coming into the bedroom, he should wash his hands.
This also means that if you like to be on the adventurous side and bring “sex condiments” into the picture during foreplay (check out “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”), and there is stuff all over your fingers, hands should be washed then too. The main reason for the last one is food has a way of throwing off your vagina’s pH balance — and, whenever that happens, it can lead to an infection. And who the hell wants that, chile?
Before Sex Tip #3: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Drink Too Much
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When you get a chance, do your vagina a favor and check out “Turns Out Sober Sex Might Be The Underrated Secret To Better Orgasms.” When you’ve got too much alcohol in your system, not only could it potentially cloud your judgment, but it can also tank your libido, decrease how much natural lubricant your body produces, and it can make it harder for you to climax as well.
As far as the lube part goes, the issue with that is alcohol dehydrates you, and let me tell you, there are few things worse than trying to have great sex with a dry va-jay-jay. All of that friction damn near feels like broken glass (not exactly but…close). Ugh. So, a glass of wine or a shot of Casamigos? Cool. Throwin’ back an entire bottle? Yeah, let’s not.
Before Sex Tip #4: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t "Forget" to Use Condoms
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If you want to significantly decrease your chances of experiencing an unwanted pregnancy or an STI/STD, you need to use a condom — not sometimes, not partly during sex…each and every time and from start to finish when it comes to copulation. To this day, when used flawlessly, condoms continue to be 98 percent effective (around 87 percent effective otherwise). Not only that but if you are having sex with a new partner for the first time, his sperm/semen has the potential to throw your vagina’s pH off and that could lead to itchiness, irritation and/or some type of infection.
Look, I don’t know one person on this planet who thinks that wearing a condom feels better than “going raw.” Still, unless you want to get pregnant or you want to do a crap shoot with your health (at a time when STIs/STDs are on the rise, by the way), do you and your vagina a favor and bring condoms into the mix. Speaking of condoms (and your vagina), check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer,” so that using them can be as pleasant of an experience as possible.
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After Sex Tip #1: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t “Mingle” with Sex Toys
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Okay, so when it comes to “after sex,” I think that pretty much all of us can vouch for the fact that sometimes sex doesn’t stop so much as it…pauses. And during that refractory period, it can be common for one or both partners to do things that will help to keep the juices flowing (umm, so to speak). Thing is, if your sex toys have been moving around from place to place, this means that bacteria, fungi, or even viruses can be transmitted.
So, after the first sex romp, please wash your sex toys before inserting them, umm, elsewhere. Then, once you’re completely done, thoroughly clean and dry them and put them away. For tips on how to do this, based on the material that they are made out of, check out Self’s “How to Clean Your Sex Toys So You Can Use Them Safely.”
After Sex Tip #2: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Hold Your Pee In
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Although I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor, when I stepped onto my college’s campus for the first time, I was pretty green about a lot of things when it came to sex. That’s why it threw me off when my freshman year suite mates were trying to convince me that holding urine in during sex intensifies orgasms. Chile…if y’all are out here doing that, that explains why there seems to be an uptick in squirting (some of y’all will catch that later — LOL).
Anyway, what I do know, as far as pee goes, is you should definitely release it after intercourse. According to science, making sure to use the bathroom after sex can help to push out germs and bacteria that may try to get caught up in your urethra, ones that could ultimately lead to a urinary tract infection (UTI).
After Sex Tip #3: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Use Harsh Cleansing Products
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It can never be said enough that vaginas are self-cleaning — this means that, even after sex, yours does not need the assistance of douching or you attempting to “clean it out” with some sort of over-the-top body wash or heavily fragranced soap. All that will do is disrupt the pH of your vagina. As far as your vulva — the outer part of your vagina — goes, even that doesn’t need you to go overboard.
Some warm water and a mild, unscented soap are really all that you need, especially since you may have some mild abrasions due to the friction of the sexual experience. Oh, and if you are doing the most, thinking that you can get sperm/semen out of you — that’s not how it works. Once it enters your body, it’s gotta leave in its own time (which tends to be no longer than 5-7 days).
After Sex Tip #4: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Put Panties (Back) On
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Even though men have told me that they feel more comfortable with putting a pair of drawers on after having sex, that doesn’t mean that you should automatically follow suit. I mean, unless you plan on getting right into the shower (and fully drying off afterwards), there is probably sweat and other fluids that could be a breeding ground for an infection if you decide to immediately put on panties, lingerie, or some other type of tight-fitting clothing on.
So, stay naked — at least from the bottom down. It’ll give your vagina (and vulva) some time to catch its breath and actually breathe. Yes, literally.
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Without your vagina, sex would suck. LOL. And so, the least you could do is implement these eight tips as a way to show your appreciation. They’re simple things that can make a big difference in how your vagina feels — about sex and you before, during and after it. #wink
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