
#SayOurNames: Black Women’s Leadership & Our Quest For Equity

Last Wednesday evening (August 19), Senator Kamala Harris took the virtual stage of the 2020 Democratic Convention and addressed the nation as the first Black and South Asian woman to accept a major party's vice-presidential nomination.
From a pandemic to divisive leadership and economic uncertainty, Senator Harris' historic achievement comes at a time when our country is in dire need of leadership, and more specifically - Black women's leadership.
Because we know that when Black women step into their power, what needs to be done, will be done.
A Legacy of Leadership
Last week also marked 100 years since the passage of the 19th Amendment, and while Black women were integral to its passing, their fight for a seat at the political table was just beginning.
Harris' achievement is the latest in a legacy of Black women's suffragists whose leadership galvanized communities and shattered glass ceilings. She notes this in her speech at the 2020 Democratic Convention saying:
"They paved the way for the trailblazing leadership of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. And these women inspired us to pick up the torch, and fight on. Women like Mary Church Terrell and Mary McCleod Bethune. Fannie Lou Hamer and Diane Nash. Constance Baker Motley and Shirley Chisholm. We're not often taught their stories. But as Americans, we all stand on their shoulders."
Image: Mason Trinca / Getty Images
In recent years, we've seen a new generation of Black women effecting change in politics, education, business, and beyond. Black women represent the fastest-growing segment of entrepreneurs, with the number of Black women-led startups doubling since 2016. They also represent the most educated demographic and have become a political force with a record number of Black women set to run for Congress.
Despite these advancements, Black women disproportionately face challenges at the intersection of race gender. These challenges are not new and actualize themselves in injustices such as workplace biases, disparities in health care, income inequalities, and the erasure of Black women in today's fight against police brutality.
"Anti-Black racism is once again at the center of national consciousness, an unavoidable reality amplified by twin pandemics—the COVID-19 pandemic and the uprisings in response to unyielding forms of state violence," said Shermena M. Nelson, Chief of Staff and Director of Programs and Community Engagement at the African American Policy Forum (AAPF). "Both COVID-19 and police violence have made blatantly apparent the racial inequalities that persist in American society."
Image: September 2020 of 'O Magazine' honoring Breonna Taylor
For Nelson, AAPF's mission to dismantle structural racism and other barriers that disempower marginalized communities is increasingly important during this time of consciousness.
"We want to maximize this moment of attention, guiding attention to work that is transformative and sustainable. This cannot just be a moment."
Nelson joined a line-up of modern leaders like Linda Sarsour, co-founder of the Women's March, and Reverend Marcia Dyson at the virtual Black Womxn's Summit hosted by the Office of the Dean of the Chapel at Howard University, Senator Harris' alma mater. Hosted on Black Women's Equal Pay Day, the intra-racial summit celebrated Black womanhood while exploring other topics like education, health, sexism, and police brutality, among others, that uniquely impact Black women.
"With the killing of Breonna Taylor, we see once again the need for narratives that account for the racist police violence against Black women and girls. These stories are too often left untold, these names too often left unsaid."
Protecting Black Women in Today’s Social Climate
When it comes to Black women, public outrage often trails to that of their male counterparts. It's been approximately five months since Breonna Taylor's death and her murderers have still not been arrested.
We've seen this time again in cases of police violence toward Black women and girls like Oluwatoyin "Toyin" Salau, Atatiana Jefferson, Charleena Lyles, and Sandra Bland - a case that many of us first associated with #SayHerName, a 2014 campaign launched by AAPF to bring awareness to the names of these victims whose names we often do not hear.
But it shouldn't take for Black women's wrongful deaths to prompt action. How can we begin to effectively dismantle the structures that promote our erasure, so that we, and consequently all Americans, can walk in our full power?
"To properly diagnose and attempt to remedy the disparate violence we must use a framework of analysis that can identify the particulars of these two crises, namely, the ways in which race, gender, and class interact and compound," said Nelson. "We have to look at this as a structural issue. These killings are not just one case. One situation. One moment. They are the products of centuries of discrimination and systems that were uniquely crafted to oppress."
Our country is in a polarized, vulnerable state, one that presents many challenges, but the bright opportunity for widespread and institutional change - but only if we act. To do so, we must support organizations that are doing what is needed to knock down racial barriers and create pathways to equity.
"I believe there is a role for everyone. Education is a key way to support. Educate yourself, your colleagues, your friends. Make conscious, intentional efforts to elevate the movement. Lend your support to organizations who are doing the work (donate, volunteer, attend, promote), and remove your support from organizations and individuals who are opposed to the work."
The power to change leadership and advocate for existence lies in our right to vote. With arguably the most important election on the horizon, now is the time to show up for Black women the way they've always shown up for us all.
"This is not a time to passively observe or wait for others to step up. The time is now. We cannot wait."
To learn more and support the work of the African American Policy Forum, please visit aapf.org.
Featured image by Getty Images
Laterras R. Whitfield On What He Wants In A 'Future Wifey' & Redefining Masculinity
In this week's episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker chopped it up with Laterras R. Whitfield, host of the Dear Future Wifey podcast, for a raw and revealing conversation about personal growth, faith, and the search for love in a way that resonates.
Laterras Whitfield Believes Men Should Pursue, Not Persuade
“Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest”
Whitfield is a big advocate of a man’s role in going confidently for the woman he wants. “Men should pursue, not persuade, and women should present, not pursue,” he said. He’s open to meeting women on social media but isn’t a fan of bold approaches. “Don’t shoot your shot at me. … Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest.”
His ideal woman?
“She has to be a woman of God… I judge a woman by how her friends see her… and most importantly, how she treats my kids.”
Infidelity, Redemption, and the Power of Self-Control
“Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer”
Once unfaithful in his previous marriage, Whitfield has since transformed his perspective on masculinity. “Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer. That’s what true masculinity is to me now.” He has also committed to abstinence, choosing self-control as a defining trait of manhood.
Whitfield’s journey is one of redemption, purpose, and faith—something that speaks to women who value emotional intelligence, accountability, and the power of transformation.
Rewriting the Narrative Around Black Masculinity
What masculinity, legacy, and healing mean to Whitfield today
“My dad taught me what not to be [as a man] and my mom taught me what she needed [in a man],” Whitfield said. While his father wasn’t abusive, he wasn’t emotionally or affectionately present. “Since I didn’t see it, I never got it either… I would look at my dad and say, ‘I want to be a better father.’ ”
Adoption had always been on his spirit, influenced by TV shows like Different Strokes and Punky Brewster. This mindset led him to take in his nephew as his son after a powerful dream confirmed what he already felt in his heart.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
How I Found The Courage To Keep Chasing My Dreams And How You Can Too
"Don't die with your dreams."
It's a simple statement, but one I really needed to hear. After attending the live taping for The Hey, Girl Podcast's finale episode, I realized I'm not living my dream life. I have a decent job, my own place, and a great social life, but something is missing. That something? I'm doing what I'm supposed to, not what I want to do. However, shifting gears to have a more fulfilling life would require faith, taking risks, and being vulnerable—all things I struggle with. And I know I'm not the only one.
Some of us are settling for our life because we're afraid to try and fail. We're so scared to seem lost, directionless, or uncertain. We don't want to be judged or fear being misunderstood when we attempt to explain our lack of fulfillment to family and friends. We fear seeming "too old" to not have it "all together." We may also feel inclined to listen when the little voice in our head tells us we don't have what it takes to achieve our dreams or we don't deserve the joy and fulfillment that comes from walking in our purpose.
While these feelings and fears are valid, they don't reflect the reality of our situation. These feelings and fears are often rooted in stories that protect us from being vulnerable but keep us further away from our dreams.
We have to find the courage to tell ourselves a new story. One that affirms that we're exactly where we need to be and this part of life that feelings confusing, scary and uncertain is a necessary part of the journey.
Here's how we find the courage to do that:
Forgive yourself for not trying sooner.
As we get older, we may feel more pressured to settle down and play it safe when making big decisions. We may tell ourselves that we should have taken risks sooner and that it's too late in the game to attempt something new. It's hard to imagine new possibilities when we keep judging ourselves for choices we made in the past. We can wonder why the 25-year-old version of ourselves didn't make different decisions, but we can't change the past, and living with regret makes it hard for us to access our dreams. Forgiving yourself and being compassionate with yourself will allow you to access the confidence you need to be successful.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Reading and following the success stories of those we admire is a huge source of motivation. It can inspire us to dream big and imagine how different our lives could be if we took a risk. Unfortunately, it can also scare us into staying stuck because we'll fall into the comparison trap. We'll scroll through Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn and feel inadequate because people are further along than us. We may get discouraged when we discover people have access to funds, people, and opportunities that can help them excel faster than we can.
The truth is we don't know every detail of their story. We don't know what they've sacrificed or how scared they were when they started. What we do know is that they didn't give up. They found the courage to keep going despite their challenges, and we have the power to do the same.
Don't be controlled by what other people think.
It's natural to care about other people's thoughts because we're human. We thrive off being included and feeling connected. But we can't allow ourselves to be controlled by what other people think. Someone will always have thoughts about our decisions and desires. But we can't let the opinions of others keep us stuck and fearful. There is a difference between what we want and what others think we can, and should, have. Even people who love and care about us may attempt to limit us based on their fears and perceptions of who we're meant to be. But they don't have the final say over our lives, nor were they given our vision.
Have faith the pieces will come together.
One of my favorite lines in Paul Coelho's The Alchemist is, "when you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you achieve it." When we begin pursuing our dreams and taking steps to walk in our purpose, opportunities and experiences will open up to help us on our journey. To notice these opportunities, we have to lean into abundance. Shifting to an abundance mindset is hard when you've become accustomed to living in scarcity. There is enough money, help, opportunities, time, and resources to make our dreams a reality.
Lean into the unknown.
When we don't know the answer or something seems uncertain, we sense that moving forward would put us in danger. We figure the more we know, the less daunting the process will be and the more successful we'll be in the end. But that's not true. We can't control or plan for everything. Where we've been conditioned to see danger, we could begin to see possibility. There is a lot of joy in the unknown. Sometimes we'll need to have faith in ourselves and trust that we have what it takes to be okay wherever we land.
You have to stick with it even when it sucks.
You can't skip the hard days. Sometimes we want to reach our dreams without struggling. As soon as something undesirable happens, we question the entire process and wonder if we've made a mistake. But experiencing lows is part of the journey. It won't always be easy, even when you want something and you're meant to have something. You can take a break, rest, and give yourself space to reassess the plan. But remember, "if the plan doesn't work, change the plan, not the goal."
Make time for your dreams.
Sometimes we're so busy using our time, energy, intellect, and creativity as conduits to other people's dreams that we forget to make time for our own. We'll feel productive, but we won't feel fulfilled. We have to stop hiding behind other people's happiness and make time to create our own.
Be vulnerable.
One of the hardest things to do is ask for help. But when you have big dreams, you need a big network. You need a community of people that loves, supports, and encourages you. You also need people that share similar interests and goals. Don't be afraid to share that you're struggling and need help. Asking for help can be scary because it creates opportunities for people to judge you and question your ability to succeed, but those people likely weren’t rooting for you to begin with. People who love and support you won’t view you asking for help as a sign of incompetence.
Finding the courage to chase your dreams when you feel like you’ve waited too long is hard. But telling yourself that you’ve “waited too long” is keeping you stuck and unfulfilled. The person you are in five years will thank you for starting today. The choice is yours. But remember, “don’t die with your dreams.”
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Featured image by Ben Masora on Unsplash
Originally published on June 14, 2023