Dating is hard. Yes, that's a known fact for many, but one question that my friends and I keep revisiting is where to go to find the men we want. Meeting guys at bars is still a thing, but that's not always promising. Running into the man of your dreams at the grocery store can happen, but you don't really hear about that anymore. If you're in the same boat as I am, then this article may be for you. Recently, I came across a tweet that said run clubs are the new dating apps, and I immediately sent it to my bestie and one of my brothers, who belongs to a run club.
My bestie responded, "Dang, is that what we have to do now? Meet them all sweaty & out of breath lol." While my brother wasn't sure about it being the new dating app, he did say it was a great way to meet new people. As someone who recently tried dating apps again and was ultimately reminded why I got off years ago, I was open to putting this theory to the test. My mom actually suggested I should join a run club months ago, and when I told her about the tweet, she reminded me that mothers are always right.
But before I find a run club to join, I thought I would tap an expert about this recent phenomenon. Imani Tutt is an LMFT therapist and relationship coach and shared whether or not run clubs were the new way to meet singles.
xoNecole: There was a tweet that had a lot of people talking, which said, "Run club is the new dating app." Are people leaving dating apps and meeting singles through clubs and activities instead?
Imani Tutt: I wouldn’t necessarily say people are leaving dating apps altogether, but it’s evident that more individuals are recognizing the value of finding a partner who shares common interests and similar values. This realization underscores the idea that slow and steady often wins the race (no pun intended).
Running clubs, in particular, have seen a surge in popularity since the pandemic, a time when many of us were on lockdown and searching for new ways to stay active and connected. These clubs attract people not only because of their shared interest in fitness and health but also due to the social opportunities they offer. Participants have the chance to meet new people in a natural setting they already enjoy, fostering organic connections that might be harder to achieve through the often impersonal nature of dating apps.
Moreover, activities like running clubs provide a platform for individuals to engage in a healthy, productive hobby while also expanding their social circles. The camaraderie and mutual support inherent in these clubs can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections. This trend isn’t limited to running; other interest-based groups, such as hiking clubs, book clubs, and volunteer organizations, are also becoming popular alternatives for meeting potential partners.
xoN: Is this a new concept, or is it just becoming popular?
IT: I believe this is a relatively new concept that is rapidly gaining popularity. Many people are growing tired of the superficial interactions that often occur on dating apps. On these platforms, users frequently portray idealized versions of themselves, which can lead to disingenuous connections.
In contrast, running clubs offer an environment where individuals can be more authentic and vulnerable. When people participate in physical activities like running, they show their true selves—they're sweaty, tired, and without the masks they might wear online. This authenticity fosters genuine connections and meaningful relationships as participants bond over shared experiences and challenges rather than curated profiles. As a result, running clubs provide a refreshing alternative to traditional dating methods, emphasizing sincerity and authenticity over superficial impressions.
"Running clubs offer an environment where individuals can be more authentic and vulnerable. As a result, running clubs provide a refreshing alternative to traditional dating methods, emphasizing sincerity and authenticity over superficial impressions."
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xoN: Why is this the best way to meet singles?
IT: I wouldn't say this is the absolute best way to meet singles, but it's definitely a great option if you enjoy running. Engaging in an activity you love allows you to meet like-minded people, which can be a fantastic foundation for forming new relationships. When you're part of a running group, you regularly interact with the same individuals, making it easier to build bonds and develop friendships over time; very similar to how it was when we were in school.
I believe this principle applies to any club or group centered around shared interests. Whether it's a book club, a cooking class, or a hiking group, participating in activities that you are passionate about naturally brings you closer to others who share those passions, creating opportunities for meaningful connections.
Additionally, meeting people through a shared hobby can take the pressure off needing to find a partner right away. You're there primarily to enjoy the activity, and any romantic connections that form feel more organic and less forced. Being in a comfortable and familiar environment can also help you present your best self, as you're likely to be more relaxed and confident.
xoN: Besides running clubs, what are some other clubs that people can join to meet singles, especially for people who aren't interested in athletic clubs?
IT: When looking to meet singles outside of athletic clubs, it’s important to consider your interests and hobbies. Do not join a club solely to meet a partner; that is a one-way ticket to a disaster waiting to happen.
When you take the time to understand your own interests and hobbies, you give yourself the opportunity to not only meet like-minded individuals but also enjoy the activities you participate in. Here are several types of clubs and groups where you can meet singles:
Art Clubs: If you have a passion for painting, drawing, or any form of visual arts, joining an art club can be a great way to connect with others who share your interest. These clubs often organize workshops, gallery visits, and art exhibitions, providing ample opportunities to socialize.
Music Clubs: Whether you enjoy playing an instrument, singing, or simply appreciating music, music clubs offer a variety of activities such as jam sessions, concerts, and music appreciation nights. These events can be a fun way to meet people who share your musical tastes.
Book Clubs: For those who love reading, book clubs offer a perfect setting to discuss literature with others. Book clubs typically meet regularly to discuss a chosen book, fostering deep conversations and connections over shared literary interests.
Poetry and Writing Groups: If writing is your passion, joining a poetry or writing group can be incredibly fulfilling. These groups often host readings, workshops, and critique sessions, allowing you to improve your craft while meeting others who enjoy writing.
Church: For those who are faith-based, church groups can provide a supportive community. These groups often organize social events, volunteer opportunities, and study sessions, which can be great for meeting new people with similar values.
Volunteer Organizations: Joining a volunteer group can be a rewarding way to meet people while giving back to the community. Whether it’s through environmental causes, animal shelters, or community service projects, volunteering can connect you with others who are passionate about making a difference.
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Hobby and Craft Clubs: From knitting circles to model building, hobby and craft clubs bring together people with specific interests. These clubs offer a relaxed environment to work on projects and chat with others who enjoy the same hobbies.
Cooking Classes and Clubs: If you love cooking or want to improve your culinary skills, cooking classes or clubs can be a fun way to meet others. These groups often involve hands-on cooking sessions followed by social dining experiences.
Language Exchange Groups: For those interested in learning a new language, language exchange groups offer a unique opportunity to practice speaking with native speakers and other learners. These groups often meet in casual settings, providing a friendly environment for conversation and cultural exchange.
Gaming Groups: Whether you’re into board games, video games, or tabletop RPGs, gaming groups can be a fantastic way to meet fellow enthusiasts. Many cities have game stores or cafes that host regular game nights, creating a fun and interactive way to meet new people.
Hiking Groups: If you enjoy the great outdoors, joining a hiking group can be an excellent way to meet new people while staying active. Hiking groups often organize regular hikes ranging from easy to challenging trails, allowing you to explore nature and bond with others who appreciate outdoor adventures.
xoN: Where can someone find these clubs?
IT: You can find these clubs through a variety of platforms and methods:
TikTok: Many clubs and interest groups promote their activities and events on TikTok. By following relevant hashtags and accounts, one can discover new clubs and communities.
Facebook Groups: Facebook is a rich resource for finding clubs. There are numerous groups dedicated to various interests, hobbies, and activities. Searching for specific keywords related to your interests can lead you to active communities.
Word of Mouth: Personal recommendations from friends, family, and colleagues are often invaluable. By talking to people in your social circle, you can discover clubs that align with your interests and gain insights into their experiences.
Eventbrite: This platform lists a wide range of events, including club meetings, workshops, and social gatherings. By searching for events in your area, you can find clubs hosting activities that interest you.
Instagram: Many clubs use Instagram to promote their activities, share updates, and engage with their members. Following club accounts and relevant hashtags can help you stay informed about upcoming events and initiatives.
Meetup: Meetup is a popular platform designed specifically to connect people with similar interests. You can search for clubs and events based on your interests and location.
Local Community Centers and Libraries: Many local community centers and libraries host clubs and interest groups. Checking their bulletin boards and websites can provide information on upcoming meetings and events.
University and College Campuses: If you're a student or have access to a campus, universities and colleges often have a wide range of clubs. Their student services offices or club fairs are excellent places to find out more.
Online Forums and Websites: Websites like Reddit, Quora, and specialized forums can be great resources for finding clubs. By participating in discussions and asking for recommendations, you can connect with like-minded individuals.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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A fast metabolism? It can help you burn calories. A slow metabolism? It makes that a more challenging effort.
So, let’s take a deeper look into what metabolism is all about and what you might be doing, perhaps without even noticing, that could be slowing down your metabolism, which could make getting the results that you desire more difficult than it actually has — or needs — to be.
The Truth About Your Metabolism
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Although metabolism is a word that is brought up quite a bit, both online and off, in order to fully understand why yours may be faster or slower, it’s a good idea to know exactly what metabolism is.
A simple way to explain it is metabolism is a chemical process in your body that determines how your body turns food and drinks into actual energy. Since you need energy in order to literally function, this is why learning about your own metabolism is an essential thing to do.
For instance, did you know that whenever you eat, your digestive system uses enzymes to turn fats into fatty acids, carbs into simple sugars, and proteins into amino acids — and all of these things can be relied upon for energy? And although several factors within your system play a role in how fast or slow your metabolism may be (your thyroid certainly tops the list, by the way), there are certain things that you may be doing that could be speeding up or slowing down your metabolism as well.
Now before I get into what some of those things are, I think it should also go on record that if you want to know more about metabolism because you’re ready to shed a few pounds, while metabolism certainly plays a role in how fast you do or don’t burn calories, tweaking habits in order to speed up your metabolism won’t automatically help you to reach your weight loss goals alone. You also need to adjust your diet, exercise, get plenty of rest, lower your stress levels, and be intentional about not taking in more calories than you burn on a daily basis.
Still, since we do know that people who burn calories faster don’t have to count them as much and having a faster metabolism can also do things like slow down premature aging and build more muscle mass, it can never hurt to know what you may be (inadvertently) doing that could be causing you to have a sluggish metabolism. That way, you can make a few adjustments in order to get the metabolic results that you want.
And in the efforts to help you to do just that, here are 10 ways that you may be slowing down your own metabolism.
10 Things That Could Be Slowing Down Your Metabolism
1. Consuming Too Little Protein
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There’s a pretty big reason why not having enough protein in your system can result in you ending up with a sluggish metabolism. The reality is your body uses protein in order to build and increase muscle mass, to keep your bones strong, to grow and renew your body cells and tissues, and to give your body the energy it needs in order to function properly and burn fat.
This is why it’s essential to consume somewhere around 0.36 grams of protein per pound on a daily basis.
2. Drinking Too Much Sugary Stuff
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If you want to speed up your metabolism, consider drinking some green tea. If you want to know what drinks could be slowing down your metabolism, that would be the sugary stuff like soda. Although having one every once in a while won’t do any real damage, too much fructose or sucrose can ultimately lead to inflammation, fat accumulation, and it can throw your metabolism off, too.
So, if sweet drinks are your thing, try and consume no more than one a day; then follow that with a glass of water, for you and your metabolism’s sake.
3. Being Dehydrated
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Since you’re made up of mostly water, it makes all the sense in the world that you should be proactive about avoiding dehydration. Also, since your metabolism begins at a cellular level and water carries oxygen, the more water that is in your system, the easier it is for your metabolism to have the energy that it needs in order to work effectively. And how much water do you need on a daily basis?
Some health experts say that 11 cups (not glasses, cups) a day, if you’re a woman (15 if you’re a man), should get you what you need.
4. Keeping Your Thermostat Too High
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Although you’ve probably heard somewhere that your metabolism kicks up when you feel hot, there is something that you should keep in mind. When it’s time to turn in for the evening, you actually should keep your bedroom on the cooler side. The method to the madness is when the temp is somewhere in the late 60s, that will cause your body to have to work harder to keep you warm, and that will send your metabolism into a bit of an overdrive.
Since cooler rooms are proven to improve your quality of sleep overall, why not try it for a couple of nights? See how it makes you feel.
5. Avoiding a Consistent Exercise Regimen
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Hands down, something that helps to keep your metabolism going is a regular workout routine. If you make a point to do consistent strength training and resistance exercises, that can help your body to build muscle over time which, in turn, burns calories. Women’s Health has some specific exercises that can help you to give your metabolism a boost. You can check them out here.
6. Needing a Calcium Supplement
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If you’re someone who takes supplements, look on the back of your labels to make sure that there is calcium on one of the bottles. Calcium helps to keep your bones and teeth strong, it helps your hormones and enzymes to do what they need to do and it’s also a nutrient that boosts your metabolism, so that it’s easier for your body to burn fat.
7. Cooking with Too Much Sea Salt
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If you like to cook with sea salt, something that you might want to keep in mind is the fact that it could slow your metabolism down some. The backstory on this is that sea salt doesn’t contain iodine in the way that most standard table salt does, and that can be potentially problematic because your body needs iodine in order to keep your thyroid healthy, so that you are able to have more energy. The more you know. The more you freakin’ know.
8. Being Sleep-Deprived
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The more I study about how beneficial a good night’s rest is, the more I see just how detrimental sleep deprivation can be, in pretty much every way. Take your metabolism, for example. When you don’t get 6-8 hours of shut-eye on a consistent basis, it can throw your hormone levels off, which can directly impact how fast your metabolism moves. And since, reportedly, your metabolism automatically slows down 15 percent at night anyway, all of this is a smart thing to keep in mind when it comes to eating late at night.
Indeed, less rest and midnight meals can definitely help you to pack the pounds on.
9. Erratic Meal Times
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Lawd. If there is something that I personally need to make sure to keep in check, it’s this point because, when I’m in a zone while hammering away on my laptop, it can be really easy to lose track of time, and that can do a real number on my metabolism. Here’s why: One thing that your body does is provide fuel for you to have enough energy to get through the day. When your meal times are consistent, your body knows how to process your calories by burning them; however, when your eating times are all over the place, your system doesn’t know whether to burn calories or store them up.
So, if you want your metabolism to be stabilized, eating (especially) main meals need to happen at relatively the same time every day.
10. Not Eating Enough
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One more. If you are indeed trying to ramp up your metabolism in order to shed a few pounds, please don’t do that by starving yourself. Although it is indeed true that in order to lose weight, you should cut back a bit on your caloric intake, if you’re eating too little, your body will think that it needs to slow down your metabolism in order to hold onto the food that is already in your system for a while longer.
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Ain’t it wild how so many simple things can cause pseudo complications for our metabolism? That’s the bad news. The good news is that if you’re willing to make some minor adjustments, you can probably rev your metabolism up, just in time for the plans that you have for your body before summer officially arrives!
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