5 Reasons You're Still Single
In the years that I've spent navigating through dating app profiles and YouTube tutorials on "how to be un-single", I've noticed a common trend: single women tend to get their advice on being single from married women.
Now, although it can be wise to take heed to these ladies' advice since they've obviously found success in the area, the time has come for single women to reclaim the narrative surrounding what it means to be single in 2018.
You see, I view dating the same way I view technology: both landscapes are changing at such a rapid rate that the advice you receive from someone who's been married since 2004 is the equivalent of trying to use a Motorola Razor to Facetime a loved one: the form just doesn't fit the function. Am I suggesting that you totally dismiss the wise counsel of your counterparts in committed relationships? Well, sort of… Let's just say instead of throwing away all of the advice that you've received up to this point, we're just removing some bugs. Consider this your upgrade.
The best place to start when it comes to shifting the narrative is to come into agreement that most – if not all – of us are doing this whole "single and dating" thing totally wrong.
Yep, I said it.
This could very well be at no fault of your own and could simply come down to the fact that your dating strategy is obsolete. Fret not. Here's five ways to take your dating tactics from the '99's to the '10's.
You don’t flirt.
Whether it's fear or lack of technique, your flirting game is stuck in junior high school. Look, flirting isn't always about awkwardly winking your eye from across the room – although this may apply. Sometimes it's as simple as a warm smile and engaging in light, witty banter. If the thought of flirting gives you hives, remember that it's not one-size-fits-all. Maybe your approach is more girly with dainty hair flips or maybe you're more laid-back and like to incorporate a gentle graze to his forearm or biceps in between jokes. Whatever makes you most comfortable will make you most confident. Show him what you've got!
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.