We make choices from the time we wake up in the morning until we lay our heads down at the end of the night. You chose to commit to the obligations you made to the people in your life, and you come through. You chose to dedicate your time and your energy to your chosen career path and you came through. But when it comes down to moments in your life when it's time to make the hard choices and invest in your own happiness, how often do you come through, sis?
Earlier this week at the ESSENCEBlack Women In Hollywood Awards, Niecy Nash revealed that this was also a question she had to ask herself after making a difficult decision to divorce her second husband.
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In December, Niecy announced her split from her husband of 8 years, Jay Tucker, and the Internet was shook. While the When They See Us actress may have had one hell of a year professionally, in her Vanguard Award acceptance speech, Niecy explained that last year, she was fighting a tumultuous personal battle internally.
Although she had come to terms with her separation with her soon-to-be-ex-husband, after announcing her choice to her family, she found that they didn't have the same energy. She explained:
"When I owned we were better friends than life partners, my family was quick to say, 'But you all look so good together.' And, 'Well, if the man ain't beating you, what you leaving for?' The one that made me laugh the most was an ode to him being attractive. [They said,] 'Well, you never had to put a sack on his head to sleep with him.'"
Niecy shared that she later learned that her internal battle was one that was generations in-the-making. The 49-year-old mother-of-three explained that her fear of ending her marriage and being alone was rooted in her childhood and had been learned from other women in her life:
"There was a huge myth I inherited from the women in my family which is, 'You are nothing without a man. Get one and keep one no matter what.' This long line of women that I come from had never been taught what choosing yourself looks like."
It was then that Niecy found the courage to break free from the expectations of both her family and the internet to walk in her own truth and ultimately find happiness.
"And I replied, 'What about my happiness?' The untethering from my family's beliefs, the internet's expectations and my marriage ending caused me so much pain. Pain is putting things in necessary order. You've got to acknowledge how you feel. Trust that it is so much easier to walk in your shoes than it is run towards a lie."
While choosing yourself isn't always easy, it's always worth it, and the Claws star says that she learned this lesson firsthand so that her daughters won't have to:
"You've got to own the part you play. I encourage you to walk in your truth, live your trauma and live your best damn life. I am the most grateful because I now know myself much better than before. I let my daughters watch me walk through the whole thing. Because I want them to get up every single day and choose themselves. I realize I did right when my daughter said to me, 'I am so proud of you, and I want to be just like you when I grow up.' [My] generational curse is broken!"
Niecy had this word for women who may be struggling to come through for themselves:
"You will always be the thing—whether you've got a man or not, whether you have someone chasing you. It doesn't matter. You're the thing. You get up every day and choose yourself, and you teach your children to do the same."
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The Libra woman is looking for her equal in love, someone who is willing to put in the same effort she is, and the Aries man sees Libra as someone he is willing to do that with.
The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
What attracts a Libra woman and an Aries man to each other?
There is a magnet of attraction pulling these two together, and things tend to move pretty fast in this relationship. The Libra woman is always open to love and her charming nature rarely has any challenges here. The Aries man fights for his independence and doesn’t sacrifice that unless he is completely enamored with someone.
Once the Aries man catches the eye of the Libra woman, he is typically the one to make the first move and this instantly wins the approval of Libra.
These two feel like they have known each other forever when they meet, and this spark between them doesn’t die down easily.
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What is the relationship like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The relationship between the Libra woman and the Aries man is one of balance and excitement. The Aries man tends to take on the more dominant role in this relationship and the Libra woman tends to be the more receptive one. Aries is ruled by masculine Mars, and Libra is ruled by feminine Venus. They understand they are coming from two completely different worlds, yet they also instinctively feel this underlying connection to each other and like they could be something each other needs in their lives.
The Libra woman can rely on the Aries man, and the Aries man never has to ask for the love that Libra already knows he needs.
This is a couple that is often reading each other’s minds and wanting to do a lot of the same things. However, not everything is rainbow in this relationship as well, and there are some major differences they have to overcome to make things work. One argument can lead to an explosion between these two, and addressing things when they come up rather than sweeping them under the rug, will be needed to make this relationship long-term.
What is the sex like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The sex between a Libra woman and an Aries man is adventurous. These are two cardinal signs with plenty of energy and stamina to keep things exciting in the bedroom. There tends to be a good give and take in this relationship, and their yin and yang energy benefits them when it comes to their sex life.
There is electricity felt between the two of them in this area of their life, and their power of attraction to each other is strong. These are two people who will want to do a lot of things together, including exploring sexually together.
The Aries man will have to be careful with being overly aggressive, however, as the soft Libra woman may not like this energy- it will completely depend on the two individuals at hand. The Libra woman wants to ease into things, the Aries man wants to get going right away. Learning about each other's bodies, and energy, and reading each other’s cues will help with this.
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What makes a relationship between a Libra woman and an Aries man work?
These two genuinely like each other, and that basis is a key factor for success in any relationship. The Aries man is straight to the point, direct, and inspired. The Libra woman admires these characteristics in others, as she is often herself finding her balance in this type of energy as well. Neither sign is overly emotional in a way that turns them off, and they both require a lot of the same things in a committed relationship. They want honesty, fun, good communication, passion, and to be moving towards a common goal together.
The Libra woman and Aries man don’t have a problem being real with each other and this is something they really value within the relationship. They are both very charming, and there is plenty of flirtation and attraction to keep this relationship going. Aries being the protector they are, Libra finds a sense of safety and ease in this energy, and like they have found their match. Overall, this is a well-balanced relationship and one where they don’t have a problem when it comes to compatibility or chemistry in the relationship.
What may cause a Libra woman and an Aries man to break up?
Libra is the lover, Aries is the fighter, and this energy may be tiring for the both of them after time. The Libra woman can be passive to a fault, and the Aries man who is not evolved, may take advantage of that. She will need to be careful with putting Aries’ needs above her own, creating resentment later down the road. The Aries man loves a challenge, and the Libra woman would be up for that game for a little bit, but if she is not being met in the middle, she will begin to look for other places. These two can have a difficult time keeping the peace in the relationship, and there could be a lot of arguments and disagreements here if they both aren’t willing to put their egos or self-pleasing attitudes to the side.
The Libra woman and Aries man are both more sensitive than they appear or come off as. They are also not necessarily the type to dive deep into their emotions and express them to others, even in their relationships. However, this energy can keep the relationship to a surface level than what is needed to progress and grow the relationship, and a sense of openness is required for this couple to work. Libra needs romance, she wants to be wowed. Aries needs to remember this and to always consider her love language.
Summary
Overall, this is a successful pairing. They will have their fair share of challenges in the relationship, but nothing they can’t overcome if they are willing to. The trouble will come in when it comes to the longevity of the relationship, keeping Aries excited and Libra in love. However, all in all, there is more power, attraction, and love to keep this relationship together rather than apart. No relationship is perfect, but this one is a little more blessed than most.
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