'Magic Mike: Live' Dancer Jeremy Denzel Thinks 'The Sexiest Thing You Can Be Is Confident'
When Channing Tatum appeared in the feature film Magic Mike in 2012, drawers across America were drenched and the idea of a male adult entertainer was redefined. Not only did the film inspire a Broadway show and an all-male Vegas revue, but it also provided one young man from Baton Rouge, Louisiana the opportunity to live out his dreams in a way he could have never imagined.
Jeremy Denzel is a 24-year-old creative who recently celebrated his 1,000th show as a performer at the Las Vegas show, Magic Mike: Live. He's a Cancer, he's a dancer, and most importantly, he has a heart of gold. Since joining the show two years ago, Jeremy has appeared on Ellen, This Is Us and Atlanta; but you probably know him from his hilarious part in the popular Netflix film, Step Sisters.
xoNecole had the opportunity to sit down with this sexual piece of chocolate, who opened up about love, life, and navigating his career as a male entertainer.
What inspired you to start dancing?
My favorite dance movies were You Got Served, Stomp The Yard, and stuff like that. So I would be home alone in front of the TV, sweating with a hat on and dancing, trying to recreate the moves. It's crazy because the movie Step Up came out, and my boy Channing [Tatum] was in there. And he was a kid from the streets, which I can relate to. And he liked to dance, which I can also relate to. And in the movie, he transitions into this refined dancer by taking dance classes. He took dance lessons in the movie and then that turned him into a better dancer, a better person. So after seeing that, me and my friends, we decided to take our first dance class, and we signed up for classes in the seventh grade and that was the first dance class I've ever taken.
So, it's like now I work for him. It's like I took my first dance class, and now I work for the guy. It's crazy to see a full circle like that happen.
I saw in a previous interview you said that you actually met your girlfriend at a show, how did that go down?
I was dancing. She had a friend who was a fan of the show and they all came to the show. So we're like, all right, we know they're there in the house. So I was walking through -- and this is a certain part of the show where we will lapdance women -- and I'm just walking minding my own business.
And this woman out of nowhere grabs my arm and just stares in my eyes and says, "Don't neglect me" in the sexiest voice ever. And I'm like, "Okay."
She posted on her Instagram story, her cooking some gumbo and I was like, I don't know what this southside Chicago girl knows about cooking gumbo. So I sent her a message. And was like, you don't know how to cook gumbo. And it turns out she does know how to cook gumbo and we been going ever since so, I was wrong.
Does your career as a male entertainer affect your relationship?
I think we had a great start because she already knew what my life kind of entailed. And there is a level of comfortability and trust that you have to have with a partner going into something like this. And I thought like a million times, what if it's the other way around? I mean, I met her doing that, why would I have a problem with it now? And she has that approach to it and it's never been a problem.
She comes to the show a lot, she sees me showing other women love, but that's part of my job and she knows it makes everybody feel good. [It's] just [about] being able to separate my job from just us.
How long have you two been together?
Almost a year. Last year, we made it official at her sister's wedding. That was cool.
Wow, that's romantic AF. So are you just a romantic guy at heart or does that come with the job?
I have learned some things from the job now that I think about. Well, there is a skill to it and in the process of doing this show, I would say you adapt to the life. You've listened to women enough to get a good understanding of what they might like. And since our jobs are so tailored towards pleasing women, I guess my life is tailored towards what can I do that she would appreciate.
"You adapt to the life. You've listened to women enough to get a good understanding of what they might like. Our jobs are so tailored towards pleasing women."
What are some ways that you show your partner she’s special to you?
Well, I give her a lot of massages. Like I rub her feet a lot, I'm jealous how many foot rubs she gets. After some shows, I might get her some flowers or bring something home and let her know I thought about her. Just that constant reminder because people like when you at least try, or where you show that you think about them, especially when they're your significant other. Like just that constant reminder or learning their love languages and knowing what makes them feel good.
Speaking of, what’s your love language?
I'm into physical touch and I love laughing. Laughing is my favorite thing to do. Come on. Someone I can have a laugh with about anything. If we can laugh all day and then I like being around you all day, that means you make me feel good. I don't think you can be pissed off and laugh. I think that's hard to do -- laugh with someone you don't like.
So what’s the first thing you notice about a woman when she walks in a room?
Body language, I think that's an important one. If we're talking about attraction, then body language, confidence, and their demeanor. I think it has to deal with body language and attitude for me because I think the sexiest thing you can be is confident, and that goes from whatever kind of body type you have, whatever kind of person you are, if you're confident, I think that goes a long way.
"I think the sexiest thing you can be is confident, and that goes from whatever kind of body type you have, whatever kind of person you are, if you're confident, I think that goes a long way."
What’s does the perfect date look like for you?
I would say out to eat may be a nice one or like going outside, going to see something, walk and talk. But it also depends on what kind of day you're trying to have.
Well, what about you? What day are you trying to have?
I would probably go to an escape room or something. You ever been to an escape room?
No, but I’ve heard of it! Why an escape room?
Okay, well you're locked inside of a room with people and you have to figure out how to get out of this room. I think you can tell a lot about a person once you put them in a room and lock them inside of it and then they have to find the way out. We did that on one of our first dates.
You can see whether this person is not great under pressure or whether they yell a lot at you. You get a good scope of the land. How will they react in other situations like this and how much longer can we do this? And it's fun, you laugh a lot.
How important is sex in a relationship to you?
It's very important, there's no other way to put it. Especially if you're trying to settle down with one person, right? You got to find ways to keep it interesting and I think when the love and comfortability are there, then I think that's the best it gets.
Can you have love without sex?
You can have love without sex, but sex helps.
"You can have love without sex, but sex helps."
What are your deal breakers in a relationship?
Bad hygiene. I think as a human being, everybody should have good hygiene. I mean, I think that's the least you can do for people around you, is just have good hygiene. I think that should be like one thing that shows that you respect people is that you smell good; that you respect yourself.
Do you see marriage or children in your future?
As a southern boy, It's kind of like my Cinderella Story. I one day want to have a family and get married. Just having a nice house on a piece of land, raising a family. Maybe having an animal or two, I don't know which animal yet, but get a few dogs, have a horse; but also be in a space where I'm still creating art or doing whatever I love at the same time.
You can keep up with this hunky entertainer by checking out his Instagram and Facebook pages and make sure to add going to Vegas to see Magic Mike: Live to your bucket list ASAP. You might even leave with a man as fine as Jeremy!
Featured image courtesy of Victor Anthony.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Age-Gap Dating Is HUGE Right Now. Still...Read This Before Doing It.
If you’re someone who’s been reading my content for a while, you know that I’m pretty big on accountability (with both men and women), and that means sometimes I will call out blatant hypocrisy and double standards. Today? It’s the fact that I find it to be mighty interesting that when an older woman is dating a younger man, she’s usually considered to be a “cougar” yet when an older man dates a younger woman, suddenly he’s a “perv” (short for pervert).
It's important to bring up that super unfair comparison because, when it comes to a particular dating trend that’s on the list of being a really big dating trend right now, it’s both men and women who are looking to get in on it — and if it’s good for one gender (within reason), in all fairness, it should be seen the same way for the other (again, within reason).
So, with that said, whatever it is that I’m about to share on the topic of age-gap dating, just know that I have no bias; I simply think it’s important for men and women, younger and older, to take a very realistic approach to this kind of dating…because as with pretty much everything in life, it has its pros and some, well, cons too.
Popular Doesn’t Automatically Mean Best
GiphySomething that has kind of always fascinated me about our culture is how so many people will abandon all common sense and logic, just to do something that is considered popular. Well, at the end of the day, that’s pretty much what a trend is: something that is currently done by a lot of people for…whatever the reason. When it comes to dating trends, specifically, oftentimes, they are “birthed” out of surveys from dating sites or apps. When the people who conduct them notice that something is overwhelmingly preferred, encouraged, or supported, then it becomes a trend — and that’s just where age-gap dating came from.
Long story short, Bumble kinda-sorta-recently did a survey and discovered things like 63 percent of folks don’t factor in age when it comes to dating, and 59 percent of women said that they would date a younger man; those are pretty large numbers, and so, there ya have it: a trend.
I will say that although the study wasn’t super-duper specific about when an age gap is considered to be too much of one,Glamour published an article a few years back that said, 10-plus years between two people is enough to start causing some issues if one is not careful (more on that in a sec). And so, before you decide to get out here lookin’ for a youngin’ or a more — eh hem — mature man, just because it currently seems like everyone else is open to it, consider if 10 years — backward or forwards — is something that you would want to deal with; especially long-term.
If you’re not sure, keep reading. Hopefully, I will provide some things for you to ponder.
Difference in Age Means Differences Everywhere
GiphyI’ve got people in my world who have big age gaps in their relationships. I’m talking about more than just 10 years. One example that immediately comes to mind is a married couple who has 15 years between them; the wife is older. On some levels, everything seems cool and copasetic. Oh, but there are nuances. Like she can be very condescending when it comes to what he finds to be fun and entertaining. Plus, their sex drives are not even close to being compatible now that she is well past menopause. It’s interesting because, rather than acknowledging that a lot of all of this has to do with their vast age differences, she prefers to see him as being immature. He’s not immature, sis. He’s just a lot younger than you are.
So, when it comes to age-gap relationships, that’s the first thing that you should think about: are you willing to deal with the differences that will probably come about, simply because you are at different stages in your lives due to your different ages?
Example: Because people say that I don’t look my age (‘preciate it), it’s not uncommon for folks to try and set me up with someone who is in their early 30s. For the most part, I’ll pass. For one thing, I intentionally decided that I didn’t want to have kids a long time ago, and I don’t want to have that discussion/debate with someone who may feel otherwise (quite possibly because they don’t have kids or want more of them). Also, I’ve worked with people, in the lane of relationships, for quite some time now.
Men before 35? For the most part, I encourage their focus to be on themselves and building their life (because a lot of guys don’t hit their professional and financial peak until their late 40s or early 50s). As for myself, I’m pretty settled, so I don’t want to be a hindrance when it comes to them up and moving a few times or switching career paths. Do that babe. You should.
I could go on and on when it comes to this particular point. The bottom line is dating someone who has a semi-significant age difference from you and then having a problem with the differences that come along with it is like really enjoying the summertime and then expecting winter to act like it…just because you do. Feel me?
Age-Gap Dating Requires Being a (Patient) Student. And Teacher.
GiphyWhenever people talk to me about the hours that they spend (or is it waste?) arguing with folks on social media, something that I will oftentimes say (for instance) is, “Some of those folks weren’t even born when Freaknik happened. Let them come to the wisdom and insight that you have, due to your age, on their own.” Same thing goes for age-gap dating.
When it comes to these celebrity relationships, so many of them switch up like they change their underwear, so I won’t even give specific examples. If you surf or scroll on a daily basis, though, you know that there are some older women dating younger men and older men who are dating younger women who show all the signs in the world of heading for a real roller coaster ride because…they are simply at two totally different points in their life.
For instance, when you’re in your 20s, it’s not automatically a red flag that you want to go to the club often. Oh, but when you’re in your 40s, you can be tempted to tell them that it is — even though you did the same thing when you were their age. You know, just because you’ve “been there and done that” before, that doesn’t mean you should look down on them because they haven’t (yet).
Yeah, that’s another challenge about age-gap dating and age-gap relationships: you tend to think that you should be someone’s parent instead of their partner.
So, do I think that age-gap dating can never work? No, that’s not the case. What I will say is if you’re not a very flexible person, you are about to be pissed, often. Because when you’re with someone who has a different view of things that you do, and a part of it is because they are a different age than you are, you’ve got to be willing to teach some things that could help them to grow and also learn some things that could help you to become a better person — whether they are the older one or not.
Take two of my clients where, again, the husband is younger (by nine years) and the wife is older. He says all of the time that if he had not come into her life, she would’ve aged faster because she owns the fact that she’s not naturally a very adventurous person. At the same time, because of her influence in his life, he’s better with time management, which has helped him professionally, because she’s a huge planner (something that she learned to become due to “fumbling some balls” back when she was younger). See what I mean: the student as well as the teacher.
Does this apply to all relationships? It should. I’m just saying that when age-gap dating comes into play, lessons tend to pop up often and sometimes, very unexpectedly, simply due to folks being at various places and stages due to their age alone. If you can’t fathom dealing with that, age-gap dating is probably not something that you should get involved with.
Casually Doing It Can Tend to Backfire
GiphyOkay, so what if you’re someone who wants to do some age-gap dating on a casual level? What could possibly go wrong there? Well, from reading some of my other articles (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”), you’ll already know that I’m not big on the meaning of casual: apathetic, careless, off-hand, without serious intention. Me? Especially at this age, I have zero energy or interest to be dealt with on a casual basis (whew, chile). And what if you’re the one who wants to take this approach? I mean, you’re grown, right? Do you.
I will just give the heads up when it comes to, say, wanting to have a casual sexual situationship with a younger man, while there is more content out here that says while 20-somethings may be having more sex, it’s the people in their 40s who are actually enjoying it the most (which means that it shouldn’t be assumed that the young guys do it better), science is science — and science says that testosterone levels are at their highest when a man is in his 20s. Meanwhile, for us, we are reportedly able to have the most consistent orgasms while we’re in our 30s. Where am I going with all of this?
I actually didn’t become sexually active until college. My first love was younger than I, and goodness, when didn’t he want to hump my leg? The college period was like a sea of raging hormone vessels with free rooms in the form of dorms. Chaotic and damn near diabolical in hindsight. LOL. And a big part of that is because guys have testosterone surging, and we as women are hella fertile. Getting off stays at the forefront on some level (at least for most of us).
The challenge with that is a lot of people who are hormone-driven may not necessarily be relationship-minded. And once you hit your late 30s-40s, after a couple of months of mind-blowing sex (perhaps), that could get old, especially if the sweet young thang doesn’t have much more to offer than that. And so…where do things have to go? That’s the thing about casual…usually nowhere. Again, by definition.
I will say that if you just read all of that and was like, “Okay…and still, what’s the problem?” — hey, do you, sis. I just think it needs to go on record that once you reach a certain point and place in life, casual experiences with younger men can damn near seem brutal — and you can’t really blame them if you got turned out, yet they barely respond to any texts that don’t have sex on the menu. #justsaying
Make Sure to Be Extremely Honest About Your Needs. And Expectations.
GiphyLet’s swing to the other side of this: you dating an older man. I know someone who is currently doing that as well. She’s in her late 30s, and he’s in his early 50s. He’s stable. He’s smart. She said the sex is bomb. Dating him is fun, spontaneous, and full of surprises. So, what’s the problem? He’s super set in his ways. His values are hella traditional (hers are not).
More than anything, though, she wants to get married, and he’s divorced, so he has more of a “been there, done that” take on it. Does he have a problem with being exclusive? Absolutely not. However, having another wife or more children? His kids are grown. He’s mentally and emotionally past that time, too. And so, at a bit of a crossroads, they are — both are invested, and yet, because they are in different seasons of life, they don’t want the same things.
That’s another thing to consider when it comes to age-gap dating — if you are looking for something serious or substantial, you don’t really have time to waste when it comes to getting your needs and expectations out on the table. That’s why, past the first date to see if there is potential for a real connection beyond just chemistry, when it comes to age-gap dating, you really need to get your needs and expectations out there (on both sides) as soon as possible because — and pardon the pun — time is definitely of the essence.
___
A lot to think about? Yeah, perhaps. At the same time, is the age-gap something to be leery of? No. It’s just important to check your motives, be realistic, and not lie to yourself or the person you’re seeing about what you want to get out of it.
Because no matter how hot of a trend age-gap dating may currently be, you need to do what’s right and best for you…not merely what is…popular.
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images