

10 Things They Forget To Tell You About Pregnancy And Childbirth
Pregnancy is the gift that just keeps on giving, but let us be clear on what some of those "gifts" are.
As mothers and/or women who plan to be mothers, the goal with any pregnancy is, of course, to ultimately give birth to a healthy baby. A well-baked, 10 fingers and toes, 6 lbs+, baby boy or girl is clearly a blessing all in its own.
But let's get to the battle of our bodies that brings upon such blessings, shall we?While pregnant with North West, Kim Kardashian was very honest about edema and the levels of discomfort incurred from her body adjusting to the excessive weight gain and fluid retention. She revealed later that pregnancy just wasn't as sexy as some expecting moms in Hollywood made it out to be:
"I'm gonna keep it real: For me, pregnancy is the worst experience of my life! LOL! I don't enjoy one moment of it and I don't understand people who enjoy it. My mom and Kourtney clearly did! More power to them but I just don't relate. Maybe it's the swelling, the backaches or just the complete mindf-ck of how your body expands and nothing fits. I just always feel like I'm not in my own skin. It's hard to explain. I don't feel sexy, either -- I feel insecure and most of the time I just feel gross.
"People just don't tell you all of the gross things that happen during pregnancy or after. Do you know you basically have to wear a diaper for two months afterwards?! LOL! No one told me that! #SoSexy."
Radio Personality Miss Info also said she had some adjusting of her own to do in an Instagram post she wrote while pregnant with her son:
"Contrary to what Pinterest preaches, #pregnancy isn't all glam, glow, and thicker hair, lol. But so far I've had enough grad-level learning, and hilarious TMI struggle to fill a book!"
However, for the rest of us who are hoping to be better prepared (or who are just curious), I created a list of things that they don't tell you about pregnancy and childbirth. We already know about the tender breasts, weight gain, heartburn, and possible fluid retention that makes us look like a fluffy, pregnant Pokemon. But as far as the rest, you may want to take a look at this.
Here are the 10 Things They Don't Tell You About Being Pregnant and Childbirth:
1. Oh Spit!
Spitting happens while pregnant. For some, a lot. For others, none at all. But it happens and it's normal.
Although doctors have not found a direct link to the excessive spitting and being pregnant, some suspect that it's a hormonal thing and/or a result of the constant feeling of nausea (which varies per experience) that of course results in your salivary glands acting up. Be warned though, sometimes barfing does follow.
2. 'Roid Rage
And we're not talking steroids! Be clear that up to 50% of women are effected by Hemorrhoids when pregnant. What are thoooooosse you ask?
Well, for most of us, we know what hemorrhoids are (be it by experience or just common knowledge) but in case you don't:
Hemorrhoids are little veins in and around your rectum that can become swollen due to the strain of your growing uterus and increased blood flow.
Sometimes constipation (another culprit of being pregnant) are the cause of these too. They look like excessive, hanging pieces of swollen skin around your- uh, anus. The effects can either be that they itch or they hurt or both. But the good news? The issue usually goes away after childbirth (ouch though!).
3. Tinkle-Bell
Baby on the bladder! You might have heard of women having to pee a lot during pregnancy but what you may not know is that sometimes you can't hold it!
Your bladder sits directly under your uterus so as your womb-mate grows, the bladder can't always handle the pressure. This may result in an ease to pee from such simple activities as: sneezing or coughing, so be careful!
Just remember the cardinal rule: If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe your seat-y (unless that seat is a couch, then you may be out of luck)!
4. Bleeding Gums...
Yep! Your gums may bleed...and just like spit, it's totally normal (what your baby has to do with your mouth I have no clue, but apparently things get crazy up in there)!
In this case, doctors do know the cause of this though is the female hormone, Progesterone.
5. Baby Got "Black"
This is not a bad side effect at all, but it might be one that most didn't know! You might notice a bit of change in your color while pregnant. This is because hormones amp up your melanin cells, the result of which you may produce more pigment, which will darken your areolas, freckles (if you have any), and more than likely, it will cause that mysterious line that runs from your belly button to your southern region, known as as the "linea nigra." You may also get blotchy skin, known medically as "Chloasma."
Hyperpigmentation tends to be more noticeable in women with darker complexions and typically fades post-birth. But in the meantime, consider it as your little baby picasso using your body as a canvas and coloring you from the inside out (isn't that a cute way to imagine it?).
And now, for the post-birth!
6. Pregnancy Fog
Pregnancy fog is for real. Some women have it so bad that they they can't remember basic sentence structure, let alone simple tasks.
In one Internet forum, one woman said that she forgot everything the doctor told her about her pregnancy symptoms, and would Google her ailments instead of calling her doctor. The result? She thought she was legitimately dying.
According to the Bible of pregnancy (What To Expect When Expecting), pregnancy fog is a result of your hormones having some fun with you at your expense. Also, lack of sleep due to the baby kicking your bladder all night, as well as decreased energy, can contribute to pregnancy fog.
7. The Mucus Plug
A mucus plug is literally what it sounds like--a huge thing of mucus that sort of holds together and clogs up your cervix to ensure that the "water" (your placenta) that you're toting stays together and doesn't drip until due. Post-birth and post your water breaking, you will also lose your mucus plug, but it may take anywhere from a few hours to a few days. Somewhat grossly enough, this can mean your body discharging wad amounts of mucus for some time to come (cue the adult diapers or the "O.G." lady pads).
**Note: Diapers for moms after birth are not always necessary and vary from mom to mom and from reason to reason. Some nurses even give women who have severe hemorrhoids a diaper full of ice to help cool down the discomfort of the swelling in/around their anus. Yikes!
8. Bowel Movements...Oh Crap!
So... if you didn't know, 12-36 hours of pushing a baby might "move" out some other thangs too. Yes, this includes the movement of your bowels and yes, this may happen in a room of people.
Everyone talks about how you're likely to make number two in front of your doctors, nurses, man, and family and friends (whoever is allowed in the delivery room, luckily only but so many people are, but still, one is one too many when you think of pooping), but take it from moms--you will not care one bit about what comes out of your booty while you're pushing that baby.
However, some moms have said that having a child, especially for the first time, puts their body in so much shock that they psych themselves out when it comes to having to use the bathroom after--meaning they become constipated because they are so traumatized from all that pushing just moments prior. Plus, with the stitches, some women and are so scared of the pain because everything-- and we mean everything-- hurts while your body adjusts to birthing a watermelon out of a needle's hole.
9. Speaking of Stitches
Usually, your doctor will chat with you about an episiotomy, just in case you may need one. An episiotomy is a surgical cut made at the opening of the vagina during childbirth to aid a difficult delivery and prevent rupture of tissues. In other words, it's when the doctor clips your cha-cha to make room for that watermelon head to come out of your vagina.
Don't worry, this too shall heal. But in the meantime, this too shall hurt more than a little bit (and you thought the baby being delivered was the end-all, be all. Sorry but, heck naw!).
Whatever you do, please don't Google an episiotomy. Just ask your doctor about it if they have not talked with you yet, and know that those battle scars will heal just as well!
10. Placenta aka The "Afterbirth"
Oh, you thought it was over.
But wait, there's more.
All of your placenta has to come out after birth. No seriously, if it stays, it can infect and harm you. It doesn't sound so bad, but if you are fatigued from delivery and your body can't push anymore, your practitioner may have to forcibly push down on your abdomen region to evacuate the excess fluid.
The plus side (and strange side), it may cause damage to stay in, but once it's out, it can be ingested (yes, you can consume your own placenta), and the health benefits are endless.
Seems like a lot but, take it from a more than a few moms: it is all worth it! And many women experience a postnatal-warrior vibe after giving birth, something that only a badass, mommy-gene can provide.
What are some of your thoughts and experiences on pregnancy and childbirth?
- Adult diapers after delivery? - BabyCenter ›
- This Mom Shared A Picture Of Herself In A Diaper To Show What ... ›
- The Best Postpartum Pads for the First Six Weeks | Mother Rising ›
- An All Natural Postpartum Survival Kit | Mother Rising ›
- Adult diapers for labor and postpartum, seriously?! Frozen wet pads ... ›
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Masturdating: A TikTok Dating Trend That We Should Totally Get Behind
Imma tell y’all what — it seems like not one week goes by when I don’t see some sort of so-called term that has me like, “What in the world?” For instance, when I first stumbled upon “self-partnering,” honestly, I laughed. Then shared it with some other single people as well as married folks I know. And I kid you not, every individual was like, “What the heck does that mean?” When I told them that it was yet, one more way to seemingly define single living, basically everyone’s follow-up was, “Oh, brother.”
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
Getty Images
Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
Getty Images
1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
Getty Images
So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FOTOGRAFIA, INC./Getty Images