Kenya Moore Opens Up About Infertility & How IVF Got Her Pregnant
Although it's rarely discussed, infertility is a problem that exists for black women too. Reproductive problems like endometriosis and fibroids are among the list of issues that can make conceiving a child after a certain age nearly impossible. Women like K. Michelle and Kenya Moore, who recently found out that she was pregnant, are sharing how they've managed to take control of their bodies (more specifically, their uteruses) by undergoing In vitro fertilization.
The procedure is an assisted reproductive technology that allows extracted eggs and sperm to be manually combined in a lab dish. Once fertilized, the embryos are transferred to the uterus and the mother is able to carry the child to term. This process is useful to women who have trouble conceiving, and is increasingly becoming more normalized.
Although the procedure can cost upwards of $100,000, the process is priceless for women who are infertile and dream of having children. Though sometimes this process may be performed a number of times before it is successful, Kenya Moore said that she got lucky on the first round.
"I don't have a horror story. It's weird because you hear other people's troubles with the injections and the hormones. And for me, it was a pretty simple process."
Scientifically, our eggs are less viable as we age, making this process popular among women who are hyper-focused on their careers or who have considered having kids after the age of thirty. Women like Kenya are opening up about the procedure to encourage other women to try procedures like IVF and egg freezing as means to outsmart those ticking time bombs that are our uteruses. In her interview with People, she opened up about the details of the procedure:
"You take the hormones to stimulate your ovaries, you go in for the procedure — obviously you're being monitored every day to where they need to see how many [ovarian follicles] you have, how big they're getting, when to extract. And then, obviously, the process when they grow to make sure they're growing at a certain rate and reach a certain size.
After that, they're ready to be implanted. You don't go under any anesthesia for the process and it doesn't hurt. You have to rest, which is always a great thing. To be quite honest, the thing that hurt the most was them sticking me with the IV when they had to extract the eggs because my veins are so tiny. But that's the only thing that was uncomfortable. The rest of it wasn't painful."
Kenya said in the interview that she administered her own hormones and, unlike other women who have undergone the process, did not suffer from any side effects and noted that the hardest part about the process was dealing with her fear of needles.
"[With IVF] they specifically tell you a start date to go and take a blood test because the ones you take over the counter, the pee-on-the-stick kind, don't always show the hormone level if it's not strong enough … so it may give you a negative when it's actually positive. So they rely on a blood test to show you how much of it you have in your system and how it's progressing.
As soon as I take the [blood] test and I'm driving home, I'm like, "I should just go and get a test from the supermarket." So I rode to the supermarket and literally took the test in the supermarket bathroom because I could not wait. It was just overwhelming. I could not wait. And it was positive. And then I got the call from the doctor later that day confirming that I was indeed pregnant and had a positive test and what my HCG levels were. She said it was all really good news. I was like, "Oh my God, I don't know what to say!"
Although she and her hubby don't know the sex of the baby yet, she reaffirmed in the interview that girl or boy, this baby would be her biggest blessing and we are super excited to watch her bump grow and finally meet Baby Twirl.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis years ago and I'm almost 25 years old; It's amazing to me that I'm at an age where I have to consider my egg count, and start planning my life around when I need to have a child before it's physically impossible. I'm in my bag, but I don't want my window of opportunity to have children to pass me by while I chase it.
Kenya's story is a reaffirmation for women like me who are worried that they may never conceive and a reminder that it's always a good time to pursue what really makes you happy. Kenya wanted a baby, and thanks to mother nature and modern technology, she'll have her wish before the end of 2018.
For generations. women including myself have been pressured to race their biological clocks; having to put their personal goals and ambitions aside so that they could have children before it was too late. Modern technology turns those tables and gives women the opportunity to make the decision to become a mother literally whenever they want to, and it's pretty lit.
To read the full interview click here.
Featured image via Kenya Moore/Instagram
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
