For many 80's and 90's babies/kids, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was extremely admirable, relatable, and showed the realistic lens of blending the lower and upper-class Black experience in America. The show brought light to such intense realities that are still very relevant to today's society, like the struggles of single parenting, Will's daddy issues, Black wealthy families' struggles, classism, over-policing Black people, 90's influential fashion, etc. And after six phenomenal seasons, it's safe to say Fresh Prince of Bel-Air became the anchor for Black youth and many generations to come.
Recently, the popular '90s sitcom,Fresh Prince of Bel-Airmade headlines as the cast celebrated their 30th anniversary of the show on a HBO Max reunion special. All my years of watching this show repetitively, I thought it was perfection in every way possible–but the special revealed its flaws. Specifically, the conflict between Janet Hubert and Will Smith. Back then, it was believed that a difficult working relationship between Will and Janet is what ultimately got her fired and caused her exit before the series' fourth season.
Fresh Prince of Bel Air reunion - Will Smith and Janet Hubert make amendswww.youtube.com
During the special however, after 27 years of not speaking to each other and bashing each other in countless interviews–Janet and Will were finally able to overcome their feud. The growth between them was easily seen and a reminder of necessary healing conversations. The industry was too small in the '90s to have such a public dispute, and it's still too small in 2020 with limited acting jobs for Black actors. It's not worth dragging a workmate in Hollywood or anywhere else to gain justice for themselves.
Will spoke to Janet separately on the special about where each of their headspace were during that time and why it was so hard to forgive one another for so long. Janet mentioned:
"When I left the show, I had this new baby and no one. Family disowned me. Hollywood disowned me. My family said, 'You've ruined our name.' And I wasn't unprofessional on the set. I just stopped talking to everybody because I didn't know who to trust because I had been banished."
HBO Max
Will stated that as a 21-year-old, he felt like "everything was a threat" to him.
"I was so driven by fear. I have children. I've been divorced, and I have a second marriage, and I can see now the level of pain and the level of struggle that it was just for you to show up every day."
The perspective Will provided shows that there needs to be more healthy dialogue and listening to one another, especially in instances where misunderstandings may live. If something seems unusual, ask questions instead of assuming things or having tunnel vision, only focusing on yourself.
Everyone is going through something; extend the grace you want to receive from others.
Janet replied to Will:
"But you took all of that away from me — with your words. Words can kill. I lost everything. Reputation. Everything. And I understand you were able to move forward, but you know those words, calling a Black woman difficult in Hollywood, is the kiss of death. And it's hard enough being a dark-skinned Black woman in this business. But I felt that it was necessary for us to finally move forward. And I'm sorry that I have blasted you to pieces."
It only hurt Janet the most to earn fewer opportunities, and as a dark skin Black woman, her roles were already scarce. Will never lost anything; instead, his career heightened dramatically, and now he is one of the highest-paid and accomplished Black actors in the world. It was the complete opposite experience for Janet; it was a lot harder for her to get jobs based on her intersectional experience of being Black and a woman actress in Hollywood. Along with the added complaints that Will thrown out about her in countless interviews.
It all comes down to accountability and healing.
Will Smith/Instagram
Black actors must acknowledge their privilege; society is more forgiving to Black men versus Black women; history has shown us that countless times. And Black women are less likely to be believed than any other racial group of women.
As a community, Black people need to be open to intentional healthy discussion rather than defensive commentary back and forth. Talking things through brings forth restorative healing and gives others a chance to process their emotions and reactions. It's essential that they were both accountable for their end because it doesn't benefit either party in playing the victim and not moving forward.
The goal isn't to have perfect relationships, but progressive relationships should be attainable. We already have the world against us; we can't afford to be against each other too. Together we are a force to be reckoned with, and separated, we are left vulnerable and unable to protect one another.
As Will mentioned to Janet, "The person I want to be is someone who protects you, not someone who unleashed dogs on you."
There is so much strength in vulnerability. This is the love and support we ALWAYS need to have for one another.
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Featured image by HBO Max
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
filadendron/Getty Images
Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022