BIC® Soleil® celebrates all who make their own sun by living life on the bright side!
I'm being completely honest when I say that I tend to wake up in a good mood. It's not that things don't happen in my life that try to rob me of my joy, but I've made a conscious decision over the last year to not allow the trials and tribulations of life to interrupt my good vibes. I'm a firm believer that happiness is a choice, and having control over your thoughts can make all the difference in how you go about your day, and can turn any negative into a positive.
But I must admit that it took time for me to get to this place, and I had to learn what to add and subtract in my life to equal a positive state of mind. While I could keep all of these juicy tips on how I wake up with a smile to myself, I'd much rather share them with you. After all, giving is part of the foundation of my happiness, and it brings me joy to see others filled with light, love and purpose.
Happiness is something that you can experience every day, too! I've teamed up with BIC®Soleil Shine® to show how you can Make Your Own Sun®. Here are a few things that I do to get my mind right so that I can wake up happy each and every day and live life on the bright side.
Wake Up to Positive Words
I recently moved into a new place and decided that this time I wanted to do a little DIY and paint my wall in chalkboard paint so that I can write phrases that are both positive and motivating on my wall. It's a great creative outlet, and the power of subliminal messaging is real. Besides, who wouldn't want to wake up to the words “queen," “fearless" and “winner" first thing in the morning? Maybe painting walls isn't your thing (or your landlord's preference). No worries, you can get chalkboard paper or even poster boards and write whatever words make you smile. I'd also advise that you hang them right in front of your bed so that you literally see them as soon as your eyes open.
Add to A Blessings Jar
Two years ago I discovered the greatness of a blessings jar. It's a simple way to never forget to count your wins, and great to revisit on those days when everyone seems to be throwing shade over your sunshine. I found a cute yellow jar (Yellow. Sunshine. See what I did there?) and whenever something good happened, like a co-worker buying me lunch or winning a writing contest, I would write it down on a slip of paper along with the date and toss it into the jar. I, personally, like waiting until the end of the year to empty out the jar and reflect over all of the things that made me happy throughout the year; however, it's also great to reach into every day or whenever you need a pick me up to remind you that life isn't as bad as social media will try to make it out to be.
Clean Up Your Social Media
Speaking of social media, I'm all about clearing out the bad and making room for the good. I've heard some people say that they choose not to get on social media before going to bed or when they wake up so that they stay in positive spirits, and I'm all for that, too! But I have a habit of naturally reaching for my phone when the alarm goes off and scrolling through my social media timeline just so I can wipe the sleep out of my eyes and avoid hitting the snooze button. So instead of completely saying no to social media, I choose to be more mindful of whom I follow. Some of my favorite accounts are ones with uplifting quotes, healthy food pages with bright and beautiful pictures, and travel brands that motivate me to continue working hard so that I can cross that trip to Thailand off of my bucket list. I'm quick to unfollow anyone who's constantly posting gossip or negative images because I truly believe you reap what you sow, and if you're ingesting negativity at 8 a.m., then it's no surprise when come 5 p.m. you're regurgitating hostility towards your boss
Turn On Some Good Tunes
As much as I love to turn up, I prefer to start my day with songs that make me feel good and remind me to be thankful. I'll turn on my “Good Vibes" playlist, which features everything from gospel music to uplifting R&B tunes, and it puts me in such a good place that I feel like I can go out and conquer the day. When you take in good sounds and positive words, you're bound to approach your day a little differently than someone who starts their day off with a “he broke my heart" playlist. Don't know what songs to listen to? Music streaming services have great playlists to choose from that fit every mood. Let others do the work for you so that you can focus your energy on how you're going to be a badass and get your “I'm every woman" on as you conquer the world.
Don't Go To Bed In A Bad Mood
I'm not married yet, but I've heard some partners attest to deciding not to go to bed without clearing the air as a key to a long-lasting relationship. It's something that I think translates into all forms of relationships, including family, friendships, business relationships, and of course, your love life. That argument that may have put you in a foul mood doesn't have to keep you there. Talking things out and coming to a mutual understanding with people (or at least agreeing to disagree) can take a load of stress off of your plate and allows you to hit the sheets with a clear conscience. I find that when something is bothering me and I go to bed without resolution, I toss and turn all night and have trouble getting some shut eye, and nobody wakes up in a good mood when they've lost out on a good night's sleep.
Clear the air. Make sure that you're not harboring any ill feelings towards your friend, sister, cousin, boyfriend, or your boss because at the end of the day, they're not the ones who are going to wake up swinging at the air!
Prepare for the Day that You Want
Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. If you want to wake up feeling like, “I've got this," then you need to get to work the night before mapping out your day so that you can limit as many distractions as possible. That can be everything from planning out your work day and what you want to get done to laying out your outfit so that you're not rushing out the door the next morning thanks to those 30 minutes you spent sifting through your closet. Eliminating stress is key to keeping a smile on your face, and allows you to focus your thoughts on keeping calm and staying positive.
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Waking up every day and finding the bright side is something that took time for me to learn but it has been a vital part of my happiness, and it's why BIC® Soleil® is encouraging you to Make Your Own Sun.
What are some things that you do to wake up every day happy? Share them below!
Learn more about BIC®Soleil® Shine at feelthesoleil.com and @bicsoleil.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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