We all know that advocacy for inclusion and equality should be year-round since we all have to be our fullest selves all day every day. Identity is a key element of doing that, and for LGBTQ+ professionals, this can include the question of coming out at work. Some may wonder whether their personal business is, well, anybody's business at work, while others might want to feel safe in the office being out, loud, and proud. Either way, coming out in the workplace is indeed an issue that not only must be addressed but addressed appropriately.
"We conducted some research on this and found that 1 in 4 members of the LGBTQ+ community were hiding their identity at work and were worried that if they did come out, they might be treated differently," said Leonna Spilman, a senior corporate communications manager at LinkedIn. "It's important to note that this is in the context of national and federal regulations that make it illegal to fire employees based on their identities."
Spilman added that companies must ensure that all employees have the opportunity to feel safe, confident, and embraced, and it starts with having protocols and resources that put equity and inclusion at the forefront.
"I'm a queer Black woman, and I was fortunate to find a community of other queer women. I got to see, from them, how to casually mention partners during meetings or talk about weekend plans. And so it really felt natural. I think it's important to recognize that coming out at work is really an ongoing part of our professional journey, and it can happen at a lot of different points."
While coming out is a very personal decision, Spilman added, "It's not something you have to do. Should you choose to do so, it's important that you feel comfortable and confident sharing it at whatever stage you're at in your professional journey."
We talked more with Spilman about best practices, finding your tribe, and making the decision:
What reasons do professionals cite for coming out at work?
If you think about what it takes to hide a big part of your identity, it's a lot of work. It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy, so when you do have spaces that are safe and rooted in inclusion and belonging, it can feel like a lifted weight. In addition to not having to carry that, it's fantastic for networking, for connecting with peers for support, and for building a diverse network.
Courtesy of LinkedIn/Leonna Spilman
Many people are still trying to figure out how to appropriately approach identity topics in the office. How can these conversations be responsibly initiated?
Having a culture that has inclusion as a foundation and equity is a journey. It's a journey as much for individuals as it is for companies and brands. With HR professionals, there's a lot to being in an HR function or even being in a social function within your organization as a leader.
Establishing clear anti-discrimination and anti-harassment protocols is a great start, and committing to inclusive hiring processes is vital. We have data that shows that nearly 80% of LGBTQ professionals said it was important for companies to express a commitment to supporting the community and to have inclusive practices and goals.
"I think it's important to recognize that coming out at work is really an ongoing part of our professional journey and can happen at a lot of different points."
And third, [it's about] looking for opportunities to host discussions and create safe spaces for the community where they can talk about their experiences they're having at work. As an ally as well, we must really be open to sharing feedback—whether that's with an individual or some outcome of work that's being done—and value that feedback.
Always keep in mind that coming out doesn't necessarily have to be your defining moment.
How should someone go about finding an advocate or support in the workplace?
A great place to start is professional groups, called employee resource groups (ERGs), where you can connect with LGBTQ+ leaders and peers. LinkedIn has an ERG called Out@In, and it's a fantastic space that looks to support the community here and elevate those voices at the company. We also launched a "Conversations for Change" campaign, an ongoing program that focuses on conversations that intersect life and work.
Try connecting with someone, for instance, you went to college with or someone who is part of other LGBTQ+ organizations, like Lesbians Who Tech, for example.
There are also things you can do if you're looking for a company that has that built-in community already. As you're interviewing, look to see if they have an ERG and what organizations they support. Look on their LinkedIn page or via another online [platform] to see if they've made outward commitments to supporting the community. Try to get a sense from the hiring manager and ask what inclusion looks like for teams.
Featured image via Getty Images
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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