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Amandla Stenberg has come a long way since first making her mark as the beloved District 11 tribute Rue in the Hunger Games series. Amandla has gone to star in films like Everything, Everything , Darkest Minds , and the forthcoming adaptation of Angie Thomas's best-selling novel The Hate U Give (premiering October 19). Witnessing her growth as an actress and an activist has been endearing, but so has watching her walk into her truth as a woman. Constantly evolving. Always unapologetically. Sexuality and all. She made headlines earlier this year when she came out to the world as gay , after revealing years prior that she was bisexual.
The soon-to-be 20-year-old recently graced the October/November cover for Seventeen magazine and talked owning her beauty, sexuality, and the truth behind her deciding to come out twice.
SILJA MAGG/SEVENTEEN
Back in 2016, Amandla, who was quickly becoming a symbol of young activism, came out as "a black, bisexual woman" during a Teen Vogue Snapchat conversation . Fast-forward to this year, she came out as simply and completely gay. She and her girlfriend singer King Princess made their red carpet debut at this year's VMAs. In her Seventeen cover story, she noted that gender and sexuality are fluid, noting that there are allowed to be gray areas in the attempt to make sexuality and sexual orientation a black and white conversation:
"Gender and sexuality are so fluid—it's okay to change your mind a million times and figure out what works for you. It's okay to take your time… I'd been out as bisexual, and people have known I'm queer for a long time. I saw some comments that made me chuckle, like, 'Girl, we been knew!' But I wanted to make it very clear that I have romantic love for women. I realized I had so much internalized homophobia and so much discomfort around hooking up with dudes. I always knew that when I hooked up with girls, it was the happiest I'd been in any sexual dynamic. I love that we have this umbrella term of queer , and so many things can exist underneath it, but I realized that part of my journey was hiding underneath that umbrella, because I was scared—on a personal and a public level—to confront what I was. It was easier for me to say 'I'm bi' or 'I'm pan' as I was figuring it out. But I came to a place where I felt really proud of my sexuality, and I decided I wanted to share that pride."
The beautiful thing about life is that you don't have to fit into a box if you don't want to. You are allowed to decide who you are by yourself and for yourself. And when you live your life in your truth, you live life for yourself and you move through the world in such a way that aligns with that. For Amandla, that means being open about her pride for her queerness, but also leaving tables where she is no longer being served. Body confidence is a thing and these days, Amandla refuses to let anyone make her feel bad for being herself. That extends to casting directors.
DFree / Shutterstock.com
"Being in entertainment can be hard—if you were to meet actors in real life, you'd probably be surprised at how tiny they are. I'm not a hella-skinny person—I'm petite, but I'm low-key slim-thick—and I've had people put pressure on me to lose weight or oversexualize my body because it doesn't look infantile. People often say my boobs are too big. There have been several moments when I was filming a scene, and someone came over with a small sports bra and said, 'Put this on real quick. Your boobs look too big on camera.' You're conceived of as too much if you have, like, thighs. It's ridiculous! I try to only work in spaces now that make me feel comfortable. It's challenging, but I'd rather be healthy and happy and love my body."
A large part of her embracing her curves and her lowkey slim thick status is about learning to love the skin that she is. The "woke" activist is vocal about her love for her blackness and pushing the culture forward by being a voice for our generation by way of offering support to Black Lives Matter and the like. For her, to experience true self-love and and learn to embrace her beauty and the features that embodied her black identity, it meant and still means unlearning what she had been taught:
"I've had to unlearn a lot, and I'm still unlearning things. I hated my hair growing up—I thought it was ugly. By the time I got to high school, I was using a relaxer. But when I was 16, I chopped off all the dead hair and started wearing it natural, and I realized that it was so beautiful and cool and versatile! Anti-black beauty standards are so pervasive. Fighting that requires constant unpacking and positive self-messaging, so of course I still have my moments when I feel insecure. But in those moments, I'm always [inspired] by the fact that being black is just so poppin'. The perspective, the culture, the family, the food…I love everything about being black."
Check out more snippets from the feature story here . The October/November issue debuts on newsstands on September 25.
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
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In a xoNecole exclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause , marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression , anxiety , like all of it, mental health challenges , all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry ’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy . If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures , and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood , her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff , which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You , which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
