

My heart breaks for humanity knowing that we have succumbed to coexist in two worlds both offline and online. And what I mean by this is our unhealthy dependency on social media for human connection. I hate the way we need the 'gram to feel connected. And the thing is before COVID-19, a healthy balance existed between online presence and reality. Now, not so much. Since the pandemic, our reliance on social media has become our daily norm. A temporary solution instantly became a reality and still is a reality today. And I am not sure if things will ever be the same.
The fact that we receive instant gratification from little red notifications is very telling. I, too, was guilty of being completely enamored and somewhat obsessed with an online presence. Likes, comments, DMs, reactions, and follows. It wasn't until a recent four-month social media break that I realized how much social media has changed human connection. I initially took a social media break to be more productive. I was and I have been. With all this masculine energy flowing through me, I'm out here slayin' my fourth-quarter goals. But then it got quiet—almost too quiet.
As the silence grew, I started to feel completely isolated and lonely.
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In this moment, I started to question the impact social media has on human connection and relationships. It took my online absence for some friends to check on me or even remember that I existed. I mean, granted I was overly consistent with my social media posts, but online presence shouldn't be a prerequisite to express concern.
People assume if you're not frequently posting content or taking a break from social media that something is wrong. And it is also assumed because they see glimpses of your life through curated pictures that everything is OK. Is it just me or does anyone else see how backward this logic is?
I want to say by no means am I offended by this behavior. These are instances I have noticed and I am sure others have experienced too as we navigate the dynamics of human connection in a technologically advanced world.
The Dynamics of Friendship
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First, let me just say that I am grateful for every single one of my online connections. It brings me so much joy that they have been a part of my journey. And I am even more grateful for those online connections that have turned into offline friendships. To meet those people in person and create real-life moments and memories has been simply beautiful. I'm a Sagittarius y'all—making new connections is what I do. I'm also one of those friends that will make every effort to check in or simply show up. Regardless, of if it's offline or online, it's just the way I'm wired.
With the overconsumption of social media, I would say the level of effort in friendships is affected, if not dead. And it doesn't matter if it's a new friend or a close friend. We have deprioritized human connection when it's one of the most basic needs. How?
The notion is if you can be seen, heard, celebrated, or valued online, then there is no need to connect with you offline. The norm has become if friends can communicate with you via likes, comments, and reactions, then there's no need to call or text.
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But the reality is curated pictures cannot account for what people think or feel. Social media somehow has become a foundational element or the sole basis for friendship but the concept of friendship is built on so much more. A solid friendship requires a level of depth only human connection allows for and is irreplaceable. We are made to feel through the presence of each other.
Do we even realize that we are establishing friendships based on picturesque content and pre-planned captions that are designed to increase a following as opposed to real-life moments? I said this once, and I'll say it again: With social media, we are constantly paying attention to someone else's life instead of our own. However, I understand that friendships are harder to maintain in our 30s and 40s. I also understand that some of us are still recovering or healing from trauma or loss. I know that the majority of us are still trying to navigate what we consider to be a new normal on top of everyday life. And sometimes, we just don't have the energy to generally deal with people, too.
Therefore, social media has become a tool that allows us to keep up with the lives of our family, lifelong friends, new friends, and colleagues. Remember, the original intention of Instagram was to primarily share photos taken by mobile devices. But now within the last few years and the pandemic, Instagram has evolved to some next-level shit. Not only did we turn into a business, but we also turned the 'gram into a complete online world that we live in.
A Word About Social Media and the Dynamics of Dating
I have to admit, at first, I thought men sliding in my DMs, liking all my pictures, and heavy in my comments was hella cute. But now, not so much. We often complain about how men and women behave in the DMs and comments. However, in all honesty, we allowed this shit. We taught each other this behavior was acceptable. In the words of Henry Cloud, "You get what you tolerate." We set a standard that seems pretty low to me, so who are we to complain or say anything at all?
The reality is we've normalized sliding in the DMs to the point that some men don't know how to communicate let alone interact with women at all. There's no effort in this. We continue to reward men for the bare minimum and lack of effort. It's not to say that successful dating stories or relationships haven't started in the DM, because they have. Yet there is still a whole lot of fuckery going down in the DM.
I say all this to demonstrate how dating has changed with social media which was fueled by a pandemic.
Finding Balance with Social Media, Online Presence and Human Connection
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I don't know if balance will ever be restored when it comes to human connection. The more technologically advanced we are as a society, I think we may continue to lose human connection. I personally have always enjoyed making in-person connections through the elements of presence. It's the energy for me. There is something about the energy and physical presence that pictures or words just cannot replace. I want to be caught up in moments and memories. And I want to be intoxicated with all feelings that come with it. This is what human connection is all about – the ability to have experiences that evoke feeling. We need eye contact, touch, laughter, and intimate conversations for true connection. It's imperative to our mental health. It's all the things that make us human.
Social media should not be a complete alternative for human connection, initiating a date, or maintaining friendships as we tend to overuse or abuse it, but the way this pandemic is going, social media is not going to let up.
We somehow redefined and reinforced human connection through social media. And for me, while I realize this is what our society has become, I don't have to play along with it either. I do think we should find a healthier balance in the way we use social media for human connection. It's hard to say what a healthy balance would look like as this balance could be different for everyone.
I would say it starts with recognizing some hard truths about ourselves and our society, using boundaries, and choosing not to accept certain acts or behaviors as our new normal.
The only thing we can do is find ways to keep the human connections alive. We need to continue to seek the type of human connections that are authentic, whole, worthy, and deserving more so offline than online.
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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