Have you ever wondered how some people tend to get over breakups easily, and others have more of a difficult time? The zodiac signs are always telling a story, and the story of love is written in the stars. Some signs naturally follow their emotions more and live by the heart. Others signs focus on balancing their head with their heart and can rationalize this type of change in their life, such as a breakup. People get over breakups in their own way and in their own time, but wouldn’t it be nice to understand more about how you process this experience yourself, or how someone you know or have been involved with gets over a breakup?
Mutable signs such as Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces are the type of people to go with the flow and adapt to change more than most. Even if they are emotionally still tied to someone or feel that energy within, the overall change of pace and environment will not be that difficult for them to move through and they will change their life pretty quickly post-breakup. A fixed sign, however, such as Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius prefer stability over change and will take some time readjusting their world and their focus. This can often lead them to spend too much time in relationships that they should let go of, but they eventually figure it out as well.
Looking at your sun sign and Venus sign can give you more clarity as to how you get over a breakup and move on.
How an Aries Gets Over a Breakup
Aries gets over a breakup by moving on immediately. It takes a long time for Aries to finally call it quits but once they are emotionally not in it anymore, they will move on no questions asked. They will do things like changing their entire daily routine just to avoid even thinking about a break-up or the person that is no longer in their life anymore. An Aries bounce-back game is strong and they are always looking for the next challenge, making them people who can more easily have a better life all around after a breakup. Aries is also the friend you want to call if you have just gone through a breakup as they will be that friend that reminds you who you are and that you deserve better.
How a Taurus Gets Over a Breakup
Taurus takes their time getting into relationships and also takes their time getting out of them. Taurus values commitment, loyalty, and stability over anything else, and going through a breakup is usually very life-changing for them. A Taurus needs time to process their emotional world and they might not let anyone in emotionally for a while. Indulgence is part of their post-breakup strategy and you can typically find them either on the couch watching romcoms, having a spa day and treating themselves, or spending time with friends and close loved ones. They may not indulge in anything too serious for a while, but they will be hitting up a crush or two.
How a Gemini Gets Over a Breakup
A Gemini can move on faster from a break-up than most of the zodiac. Their attention span isn’t long enough to dwell in misery and they would rather be in a new experience than sulking about an old one. Gemini is the type to be more likely to do something physically dramatic after a break up like dye their hair, change their career, or move cities, than spend a day sad over a breakup. You could find a Gemini circling around again, however, as Gemini is the type to text an ex if they feel like it because they quite literally don’t care about appearances. If they think it, they feel it, and they often are more impulsive in love. Overall, Gemini gets over a breakup by letting their freak flag fly.
How a Cancer Gets Over a Breakup
Cancers are emotional souls and will feel every step and level of a breakup. They will go through the motions looking to explore the depths of their heart and what the relationship has taught them. Cancer has a little bit of a harder time letting go than most of the zodiac. They tend to hold onto people, situations, and experiences more tightly and they are the type to believe in forever. When their vision of a relationship doesn’t turn out to be what they thought it would, it feels like more of a shake-up to their world and their plans, and they move on by rest, letting it out, and by taking things day by day. They often channel their energy into something else and look for new areas to give their love and energy.
How a Leo Gets Over a Breakup
With Leo being a fixed sign, they tend to hold onto their relationships until something major or dramatic happens. When they are in love they see the best in their partner and their relationship and have more ego adjustments going through a breakup. They tend to self-identify closely to their relationships so there is a lot of pride they feel they are losing going through a breakup. A Leo will make it their mission to have as much fun as possible post-breakup, however, and you can find them out and about, enjoying their life nonetheless. A Leo going through a breakup can be very up and down, but overall, they move through life confidently, knowing they deserve the best in love and will make sure they have just that.
How a Virgo Gets Over a Breakup
A Virgo going through a breakup is an overthinker, but this is also where their power in healing and emotional regulation comes in handy. A Virgo will go over everything after a breakup, analyzing what went wrong and what they can do better next time. A Virgo mentally processes events more so than emotionally and they will want to lay down the facts first and foremost. A Virgo moves through a breakup with the perspective that it will get better from here, although they can be a little hard on themselves in the process as they often expect perfection from themselves. Looking at a breakup as a personal failure should be watched out for, but at the end of the day, a Virgo will move on knowing what they are bringing to the table is valuable.
How a Libra Gets Over a Breakup
When a Libra is going through a breakup- they are going to talk about it. They are going to call every friend, family member, or co-worker that will listen, and will want the advice and perspective from others to move on. A Libra after a breakup spills the tea, and they will want everyone to know what went down. This is their way of getting over things, and once there is nothing left to discuss they will be ready for their next experience in love. They mentally need a release to emotionally resolve what occurred. With Venus being a sign all about love and relationships, however, you don’t find Libras going through a breakup often, but they will not give up on love after it.
How a Scorpio Gets Over a Breakup
Scorpios go through a rebirth when they go through a breakup. Scorpios take their commitments seriously, and if they have gotten to a point where they were able to be vulnerable with someone and they showed them a part of themselves they don’t show many people, then they will take their time in letting go. Even if they 100% don’t want to get back with the person, they will still take their time with their emotions and will not rush the “getting over it” process. Scorpios give a part of themselves when they are in relationships, and will spend time healing, renewing the heart, and standing in their self-empowerment. A Scorpio going through any type of change is an awakening experience for them, but they always evolve and move into better experiences regardless.
How a Sagittarius Gets Over a Breakup
A Sagittarius is hard to pin down and they aren’t one to let a breakup change things too much for them. They try to keep an open perspective and will find new truths and purpose through their experience. A breakup for a Sagittarius is more about what they’ve learned, their new philosophies in love, and what they don’t want to go through again. With Sagittarius being a mutable sign, emotions tend to fluctuate, and they are flexible not only with themselves after a breakup, but with others as well. They are more the type to remain friends with exes or mutual, as they don’t carry feelings of negativity with them towards that person. They can move on pretty quickly and a vacation or trip away definitely doesn’t hurt.
How a Capricorn Gets Over a Breakup
Capricorns are in it for the long haul when they get into relationships, and would usually rather work things out than go through a breakup. If you find a Capricorn in a breakup then something serious has happened, and they may not want to even talk about it. A Capricorn internalizes a lot of their emotions and people around them may not even know they were having challenges in their relationship, to begin with, or the breakup as a whole will be surprising to others. Capricorns love a solid foundation and they will spend their time rebuilding after a breakup and not letting their emotions get the best of them. Finding ways to emotionally release, talk about what’s going on within, and allow yourself to feel is key to moving on for Capricorns.
How an Aquarius Gets Over a Breakup
Aquarius gets over a breakup by mentally processing and coming to the conclusion of why it is smarter to move on than to stay. An Aquarius does what makes sense to them, regardless of if it is understood by others as well. Aquarius isn’t the most emotional sign of the zodiac and so they tend to have less of this energy tied up in their relationships, making the moving on process a little bit easier for them. The biggest thing they tend to miss from a relationship is friendship, and depending on how the relationship ended, will typically have exes that still see them fondly or as a friend. An Aquarius going through a breakup is going to hang out with friends, come up with new dreams and schemes, and analyze.
How a Pisces Gets Over a Breakup
A Pisces going through a breakup can go back and forth and is quite an emotional experience for them. Pisces is all about compassion and unconditional love which is a positive thing, however, it can also tend to keep them in situations that do not serve them and relationships where they are giving more than they are receiving. They will still see the other person in the best light after a breakup and will take some time to recognize some of the patterns and behaviors that didn’t serve them. A Pisces loves with rose-colored glasses on and taking off those glasses isn’t easy. Pisces can love a person for years whether they are with them or not, and overall should use this energy to channel their emotions into creating art, and their spirituality.
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Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
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Here's Why Very Few Relationships Can Actually Be 'Platonic'
Recently, while in an interview, someone asked me if I think that men and women can be just friends. I didn’t even hesitate to answer; my response was immediate, “Absolutely.” What I followed that up with is what intrigued them — “Life has taught me that not a lot of male/female dynamics are ‘platonic,’ though.” When they asked me to expound, the interview ended up taking a whole ‘nother turn.
As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY MeansGiphy
So, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…Giphy
At this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?Giphy
Now that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC FriendshipsGiphy
Before I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All CostsGiphy
Let me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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