

xoNecole's I Read It So You Don't Have To is a recurring series of self-discovery that breaks down self-help books into a toolkit of takeaways and tips that are meant to assist you in finding the best life you can live. Take what works for you, and leave everything else where it is.
I considered myself a bad feminist until I read Mikki Kendall's Hood Feminism. This is mostly due to the perception of what mainstream feminism characterized itself as. For example, January 2017 comes to mind when I think of feminism. I consider the time when 4.6 million women—the majority of whom were white—demonstrated around the United States in favor of gender parity and the difficulties we would unavoidably encounter under the newly elected Donald Trump. I remember the placards insisting that people should never "grab their pussies." The banners complaining that "we" only get paid 75 cents for every man's dollar, and the shouts demanding equal pay, despite this being the least of our problems.
Yes, I give its superficiality a lot of thought.
While many lamented that women only earn 75 cents for every dollar earned by white males, I considered the reality that Latina, Indigenous, and Black women make even less. I considered all the significant concerns that were overlooked since white feminist issues constituted a huge portion of the feminist vision. However, I was unaware of the degree and rationale behind this contempt until I read Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot.
'Hood Feminism' by Mikki Kendallwww.shopatmatter.com
Hood Feminism introduced me to the several reasons why I believe my feminist credentials were inadequate. It gave me insight into the various areas that feminism should concentrate on to achieve success in my lifetime and that of my potential children. It taught me how to be a feminist in ways I've always wanted to be. This book covers all the issues and arguments that feminists should be paying attention to, to ensure that feminism is more than just a term. It isn't necessarily a call to action, but it is a playbook of how to create feminist movements that hold the ideals of all individuals involved.
To be an effective feminist, we must emphasize Hood Feminism, and Kendall provides us with a number of strategies to help us do just that.
"Solidarity" Is for White Women
"We can't afford to wait for equality to trickle down eventually."
The Problem: The feminist agenda has prioritized narrowing the pay gap as the top feminist concern. While the salary gap is undoubtedly a problem that has to be addressed, the feminist movement's decision to make it a central issue is the ideal illustration of the trickle-down method and how solidarityis truly for white women. The idea behind the trickle-down approach is that if all women band together to address the problems facing the majority, like equal pay, then they would be able to assist minority groups in fulfilling their objectives. In essence, we should scratch their backs before they scratch ours.
Nevertheless, this idea functions only proficiently in theory. Particularly when minority concerns like food poverty, child care, and gun violence demand more urgent attention and action, while some legal processes—like equal pay—take years to resolve. The mainstream media makes us believe that solidarity means forgetting that other problems need to be addressed first.
With the clear difference between abstract ideals and very real lives, there isn't a possible way all women can stand united, when fighting one issue worsens the survivability of another.
How It Can Be Solved: It is obvious how to handle this problem: take care of the larger problems first, and the smaller ones will be taken care of afterward. Work on bigger concerns like child care services, gun violence, and food poverty, which impact all women regardless of race, rather than the wage gap, when the majority of women barely even make the alleged 75 cents to a white man's dollar.
Hunger
The Problem: Two other feminism-related concerns that must be at the forefront of the movement are affordable housing and food poverty. Families' capacity to make ends meet is rarely given much concern, despite the fact that women have access to food stamps and public housing, among other government support programs. Hunger disproportionately affects women, with food insecurity being more common in families headed by single women than in those headed by married couples or single men.
Even worse, women make up 60% of the lowest-paid workers in the nation despite making up almost half of the workforce. In addition to all of this, the majority of their income is allocated to housing and child care, which leaves very little money for household maintenance and much less for food purchases, particularly in light of the ongoing inflation. Everything is simply unaffordable.
How It Can Be Solved: Call for lawmakers to be held responsible and to boost federal nutrition programs via practical measures. Nearly two-thirds of adult and senior participants in the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) are female, yet the program offers very few advantages. The monies allotted to each household hardly even cover the costs of keeping the mother and kids fed. Increasing the monthly SNAP payment should be a top goal for policymakers in order to help more women become food secure and escape poverty.
Then, one may mention the pay disparity. Even though they make up the majority of workers, women still earn a lot less than males. As a result, women head homes that spend a larger percentage of their income on costs than men. Enforcing lawmakers to reduce the pay disparity may lead to more accessible housing and a decrease in food insecurity.
"Fast Girls" and the Festishization of Fierce
The Problem: Black women must mature more quickly than other girls. This is either due to expectations—where society stops viewing young black girls as girls around puberty—or needs—like needing to raise siblings or take care of oneself before one should. In any case, the perception that young Black girls are "fast" prevents them from being recognized for what they actually are: children. Given the battle being waged against Black girls, this adultification bias misses the fact that black girls need to learn how to fight, escape, and protect themselves at a very young age.
Black girls become strong women as a result of this instant adultification, and they are typically portrayed as "fierce" for conquering their surroundings. Sadly, this simply makes matters worse because Black women are increasingly viewed as self-sufficient and capable of defending themselves. They can preserve themselves because they are powerful. Because it is assumed that Black women can and will continue to help themselves, violence is inflicted upon them more frequently and major difficulties are disregarded.
How It Can Be Solved: Regard Black women as simply put, women—not "strong," nor "fierce." Regard them as people who deserve to be taken care of, fed, shielded, and given consideration. Black women and other minority groups need to be supported and encouraged when they seek help; instead of it being assumed they are capable of taking care of themselves.
Gun Violence
"The bullets that didn't hit me, still changed me."
The Problem: It is difficult to go five yards in predominately Black communities, where poverty meets life, without someone bringing up the topic of how unsafe the neighborhood is due to gun violence. Nevertheless, the same could apply to anyone who chooses to enter a public space in America, such as grocery stores, malls, hospitals, or schools. For the unfortunate, unforeseeable future, America and gun violence are synonymous. However, this truth is disregarded or publicized as a racial issue because it is only thought to exist in the context of poverty and Blackness. Never mind the sad truth, that women are the main victims of gun violence, due to domestic violence, mass shootings, and gang violence.
How It Can Be Solved: Gun violence must be seen by feminists as a feminist issue as much as a "Black issue." Guns are a leading cause of death for children in the United States; when they don't kill them, they terrorize them instead.
Race, Poverty, and Politics
The Problem: Always the savior, never the saved. Ironically, Black women are frequently viewed as the Democratic party's saviors. Black women voted 94% for Hilary in 2016, 96% for Obama in 2012, and 93% for Biden in 2020. Therefore, Democrats appeal to Black women if they want to win. However, Black women and their promised policies are frequently overlooked while legislation is being produced. Rather, the laws that are always remembered have to do with restricting Black women's rights and limited authority.
The majority of them lead to gerrymandering, such as that which is occurring in Alabama, or the development of laws that further downplay the hardships faced by Black women, such as poverty. Even worse, the policies that are being imposed are the result of white women's votes, who hurried to support the undermining of the laws that granted them the same liberties.
How It Can Be Solved: It is imperative that white feminists recognize the ways in which racism affects elections and the growing disparity in voting rights and access. Furthermore, Black women must recognize and resist ongoing limitations on our right to vote as well as the rights of other groups whose voting rights have been curtailed, such as those of those incarcerated. Racism is being utilized to deny our voices a platform and make our votes insignificant, and we can no longer afford to ignore this. This includes combating policies that undermine the right to vote, or even the right to vote easily, and making protecting voting rights a priority.
To understand other various ways you can use Hood Feminism to combat other feminist issues, such as education, housing, parenting while Black, the reigning patriarchy, reproductive justice, allies, and more, give Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall a read or listen.
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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