
5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Buying My First Home That Can Save You Money

The day I closed on my first home was met with mixed emotions. On one hand, I was excited to take a big step in my life and towards my financial goals. I had found the perfect investment property that would serve as my primary residence for at least the next year—a cute little bungalow in an area that was sure to significantly increase my property value in a few years.
Yet, there was a bit of anxiety as I walked through the door. Was I making the right decision? Would buying this home be a blessing and not a curse? Would I be cleared to close, or would one final run of my credit report show something that would stop me from being able to purchase the home?
I swallowed my fears, said a little prayer, and proceeded with the process of signing on the dotted line. The home was officially mine, and getting the keys to my new abode brought a wave of pride. But as I would later discover while making my new house a home, there were many things I wished I had considered before buying my first home, and even more so now that I’m in my second one.
“Purchasing a home is a beautiful experience,” shares Lauren Cobb, realtor at Keller Williams Peachtree Road in Atlanta, Georgia. “I’ve seen real estate change the lives of many clients, including myself, by buying at the right time and within budget. It’s also a unique experience for each buyer. No buyer has the same experience as their family or peers.”
With that in mind, here are five tips I wish I'd known before buying my first home.
1.The underwriting process is thorough; they will examine everything.
The underwriting process for my first home went relatively smoothly. I had just gotten out of debt and had a great credit score. I’d been at my job for four years, so I could show consistent income. I didn’t have any student loans or car payments to consider, and I didn’t anticipate taking on any new debt. I was glad I had worked hard to get my finances in order before going into underwriting. But it’s not always that easy, and here’s why.
Once you get pre-approved, you should generally expect your lender to ask for one month of pay stubs, two months of bank statements, and two years of W-2s to start the underwriting process. This can vary depending on the type of loan you’re going for, where your income comes from (W-2, your own business, etc.), and the industry you work in. During this time, you shouldn’t take on any new credit as they will compare your original credit report to the one pulled right before closing.
In HGTV host Egypt Sherrod’s book Keep Calm, It’s Just Real Estate: Your No-Stress Guide to Buying a Home, she shares that “banks approve you for your mortgage based upon your credit score and savings at the time of approval. Your approval is contingent upon those items remaining the same through closing.” In other words, any new additional debts will impact your loan from closing. Even something as simple as using Afterpay or Klarna will be treated as an installment loan, and you will be asked to provide documentation for that transaction.
I recommend not making any major purchases before you close on your home as it can determine if you get a final approval to close and the interest rate. This will make your process much smoother, and you will be more likely to see the sweet words “Please see your attached final CD,” letting you know that you’ve successfully cleared underwriting and are approved to close.
2.Property taxes and insurance can significantly increase your monthly payments.
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One of the main reasons that many of us buy a home is that we’re hoping to escape the neverending rent increase that we’re presented with at the end of our lease. While a fixed-rate mortgage offers predictable monthly payments, what’s not often shared is how property tax and insurance increases can impact your mortgage payments.
I admittedly was caught by surprise when last year my mortgage went up by $400 because the county assessed my property value to be higher than years prior. If you purchase a home in an area where homes increase in value at a faster rate than others, you may find that the increased equity that you’re celebrating comes at a price, and depending on your budget that price may make or break whether or not you can still afford the home.
One way to combat rising property costs is to look into your state’s homestead exemption laws. According to the National Association of Realtors, the homestead exemption, at its core, “reduces the taxable value of a homeowner's primary residence, meaning a portion of the home value will not be taxed. This reduction results in lower property tax bills.” This exemption only applies to your primary residence and the requirements vary from state to state, but if you do qualify, it can save you from extreme hikes in property taxes and thousands of dollars over time.
3.Your mortgage impacts your debt-to-income ratio, affecting your ability to qualify for other credit.
In an ideal world, your mortgage would be less than the cost of rent you were proverbially shaking your fist over. But in reality, that’s not always the case. Due to high interest rates, the increasing cost of homeownership, and the type of home you’re looking for, you may find yourself paying more than you were before in rent (but hey, at least it’s going toward something that could potentially be an asset one day, right? Right?!).
Your lender may approve you for a higher monthly payment, but it’s not until you move into your lovely abode and attempt to apply for new credit or even refinance months or years down the road that you learn that with a higher monthly payment, you’ve also increased your debt-to-income (DTI) ratio. This is a number that lenders use to determine if you’re a good candidate for credit approval, and even a couple of hundred dollars can push you beyond the DTI they’re comfortable with approving.
If your income is increasing and you’re not taking on other debt, this may not be an issue for you. But as we all know, life happens, so it’s always good to be prepared and to plan accordingly in case you find yourself in need of credit in the future.
4.Ask the seller for a credit to help lower your out-of-pocket costs.
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One thing that held me back from buying sooner was assuming that I would need a lot more cash available for closing. While you should always be prepared to pay the estimated closing costs shared with you by the lender, it’s good to know that the final amount may be higher or lower than what is on the final Closing Disclosure (CD). One way to potentially lower that amount is to negotiate a seller credit.
A seller credit is money that the seller gives the buyer at closing, usually lowering your out-of-pocket closing costs. The main way to negotiate this is to use your inspection report to get an estimate of the cost of any repairs that the report highlights. For example, when I purchased my home, I knew from the inspection report that the HVAC was 18 years old and would need replacement soon. I reached out to a few different HVAC companies to get estimates on the cost of replacing the unit and used the highest estimate to negotiate with the seller to cover the cost of replacing the HVAC. I did the same with a few other needed repairs, and the seller agreed to contribute a $10,000 seller credit to cover these costs. This reduced my closing costs from $24,456 to $14,456.
Sometimes, the seller will even offer a credit upfront to incentivize the buyer to go under contract, especially if the home has been on the market for some time and/or they are looking to sell quickly. While these deals aren’t always easy to find, nor are sellers required to provide them, it’s good to know that it’s a possible option in case you’re looking for a way to lower your out-of-pocket costs.
5.Negotiate with the seller to buy down the interest rate.
Anyone who has been home shopping in the last couple of years can attest that current mortgage rates are high compared to rates during the pandemic, which, according to Investopedia, reached as low as 2.65% in January 2021 for 30-year, fixed-rate mortgages. Even a small increase in your mortgage rate can significantly raise your monthly payments and potentially price you out of your desired home. But there’s good news!
Similar to a seller credit, you can potentially negotiate a rate buydown with the seller. A rate buydown allows the buyer to secure a lower interest rate by having the seller pay the lender to reduce the interest rate. For example, you may have locked in a 7.5% fixed interest rate with your lender, but thanks to your realtor negotiating a buydown with the seller, they are willing to contribute enough money to lower your rate to 7%. Sellers are sometimes motivated to do this as it can often be cheaper than lowering the price of their home. A lower mortgage rate can significantly reduce your monthly payment and save you thousands of dollars over the lifetime of your mortgage.
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Navigating the home-buying process can be overwhelming, but understanding these key factors can help you make more informed decisions and save you thousands of dollars in the long run. Keep these tips in mind to ensure a smoother, more rewarding home-buying experience.
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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As Told To: 'I Spent $10K On A Dating Coach & Now I’m Married To The Love Of My Life'
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative, as told to a writer.
This is Shirley Williams' story as told to Sheriden Chanel.
When I decided to become the CEO of my love life, it cost me over $10K.
Trust, sharing that choice online came with a lot of opinions I didn’t ask for. $10K on a dating coach? Yeah, I did that. And less than two years later, I’m married to the man I prayed for. So if you’re wondering about the ROI... let’s just say it paid off in full.
But before all that, let me take you back to how this journey really began.
When I resolved to walk away from my 13-year relationship, admittedly, I wasn’t thinking about dating at all. My ex was a good man. He was kind, he was cool, but I knew he wasn’t my man. God knew that, too, even before I did.
We had reached a fork in the road: I was growing deeper in my faith, wanting to center God in every part of my life, including my purpose. He was walking a different path, and we were no longer aligned. Turns out, you can spend 13 years with someone and still be emotionally malnourished.
As our relationship came to its end, I learned that longevity isn’t proof of alignment. I learned that a man being “good” isn’t enough. A man can be kind but not called to walk beside you in your purpose. That being unclear about your values will always cost you time.
And delaying your desires in the name of comfort? That’ll cost you even more. I knew I never wanted to make that mistake again.
Still, even knowing it was right to let him go, walking away felt like mourning a death. I dated casually after that: flings and situationships here and there. But they took more than they gave. I was left depleted more than fulfilled, so I made a conscious decision to stop dating altogether.
Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with a brain injury that left her unable to form short-term memories. My sister and I became her caregivers along with my dad. But just as I got her stabilized, my father was diagnosed with blood cancer. At one point, he was bedridden.
So no, I wasn’t thinking about love. I was thinking about survival.
For two years, I didn’t give out my number. Didn’t go on a single date. I was tired, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But not just from dating. From everything.
Those two years weren’t about fear, they were about focus. I was caregiving, grieving, and building a startup from the ground up. I had nothing left to give romantically. So when my birthday came around in September 2023, I knew I needed stillness to replenish what I had lost.
I went to Joshua Tree alone, I booked a tiny home in the middle of the desert, and I told myself: “I’m going to be still.” For five days, I read, prayed, fasted, and listened to jazz and classical music. No distractions.
Courtesy of Shirley Vernae
On the drive back to LAX, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t unsee it: I had invested in every other area of my life, except my love life. I realized then that my love life deserved a strategy, too.
So, I did what I always do when I want to grow in an area: I found someone wiser. I found an expert who could guide me in the form of a dating coach, and I hired him. Because love is too sacred to leave to chance. And I was finally ready to build it on purpose.
To some, hiring a dating coach might’ve looked like desperation. But desperation doesn’t look like pausing for two years, it looks like settling for crumbs and calling it a meal. You’ll mistake attention for affection, and chaos for chemistry. Desperation doesn’t discern. It just consumes.
That wasn’t me. Not only was I not desperate, but I was a little too comfortable being single.
I didn’t invest $10K+ in a dating coach because I was desperate. I invested because I was done repeating old patterns. Strategy is getting honest about your desire and then building a pathway toward it with clarity, with guidance, and with God.
I had invested in every other area of my life, my business, my health, and my growth. Why would my love life be the one place I left to chance?
So no, I wasn’t desperate. I was ready. Ready to stop guessing. Ready to stop wasting time. Ready to become the kind of woman who could receive the kind of love I prayed for.
But before I could become her, I had to face the parts of me still holding on to old beliefs.
When I walked away from that relationship and got into therapy, everything shifted. My therapist helped me unpack my wounds, my conditioning, and the patterns I couldn’t see on my own. And when the fog cleared, I was 100% sure: God had given me this desire. And I was not going to let doubt, distraction, or misalignment steal it from me.
This wasn’t just about having a plan, it was about being in divine alignment.
Between 2023 and now, I’ve invested close to $12,000 in coaching. I joined Anwar White’s Get Your Guy program in October 2023. The program was $7,500 over six months—that’s $1,250 a month, less than some people spend on luxury items they’ll outgrow. And for me? It made perfect sense.
After starting the program, I met my now-husband that December. We became official in spring 2024, and he proposed in January 2025.
But the real shift wasn’t him. It was me. I no longer chased anything—not men, not clients, not friendships. I stopped striving and started trusting. I started existing, and I let what was aligned come to me.
And when he came, he came steady. Consistent. Intentional. Reliable. Joyful. He was deeply committed to my happiness before anything else. He doesn’t move unless it’s with care for my heart.
With him, there is no performance. No eggshells. No pressure. Just alignment.
We walk together, in purpose. I now have a partner who is in service to me, not in competition with me. A partner who lightens my load. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He helps me think. Helps me build. Helps me breathe. He makes my life easier, and that is something I had never experienced before.
I still reinvest in my love life by continuing to work with Anwar. His programs have taken me from dating, to courting, to exclusivity, to engaged, and now to being married. Because each of those phases required a new version of me. Because I had never been here before.
@shirleyvernae I hadn’t been on a single date in 2 years. Met my fiancé last year and got engaged 2 months ago. You’re the CEO of your love life. It’s time to act like it ❤️ # CEO ##Fiancé##Engaged##Relationships##Dating##Engagement
Through Anwar’s program, I was gifted the most pivotal mindset shift of them all:
That love doesn’t have to feel like a struggle. And that’s my new standard.
One of the most powerful things Anwar said to me was, “You can’t do the wrong thing to the right guy.” And that truth set me free.
Before working with him, I thought love had to be proved. Performed. Earned. I thought I had to be perfect. Healed. Small enough to fit into someone else’s version of love. But that was never true.
There are men who are devoted to creating ease in your life. Men who see your softness as strength and your boundaries as beauty.
My now-husband, Ty, is one of them. He is steady. He is consistent. And no matter how much I struggled, no matter how I tried to self-sabotage, he stayed anchored in one mission: to bring ease, to bring peace, to bring safety.
So the shift? I stopped performing. I started discerning. I raised my standards. I stopped doubting. And I let myself be held.
Yeah, the biggest shift was realizing I am worthy of love that doesn’t come with chaos. Love that’s safe. Love that’s solid. Love that’s soft.
That’s what happens when you stop settling and start showing up with faith, clarity, and strategy. That’s what happens when you become the CEO of your love life.
Being the CEO of my love life meant I stopped outsourcing it to luck, fate, or vibes. I no longer left it up to chance or timing, or wishful thinking. Just like I build businesses with vision, strategy, and intentional partnerships, I built a love life that reflects those same values.
A good CEO doesn’t try to do it all alone. A good CEO casts vision, brings the right experts to the table, delegates with wisdom, and trusts the process. That’s exactly how I approached love. I partnered with God. I partnered with mentors. I aligned my actions with my desires. That’s not control, that’s stewardship. And that’s what changed everything.
I knew sharing my journey online was going to stir something up. And it did. Some people were inspired. Some were uncomfortable. But their discomfort wasn’t about me. It was about what my story confronted in them: scarcity, shame, old beliefs about what’s “worth it” and what’s not.
And I’m okay with that. I’m not here to be liked. I’m here to be aligned. That’s my assignment.
To the woman who’s feeling discouraged, let me say this: Time is a tool, don’t let it become your tormentor. You are not late. You are not behind. You are not disqualified. Your desire for love is not shameful, it’s sacred.
Don’t let what society says, what the media projects, or what a non-believer has spoken over you define what’s possible. The only thing that’s true is what God has said. And God has said, “All things are possible to him that believes.”
If you’re feeling stuck, let that be your invitation to do something different. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Get support. Find a coach, a mentor, a couple you admire—not the shiny ones on social media, but the ones who’ve walked through fire and still chose each other.
Date with intention. Choose love on purpose. Marriage is a gift from God, and it is never too late to receive it. There is strength in being seen, supported, and walking in purpose together.
And for my Black women especially, softness is your superpower. Discernment is your birthright. You are the prizeand the picker. Dating with intention isn’t about being aggressive, it’s about being aligned.
We are not desperate. We are divine. Even in your healing, even in your becoming, know this: you can never do the wrong thing to the right guy.
And the right guy? He’ll meet you right there: in your wholeness, and in your work-in-progress.
To keep up with Shirley Vernae Williams and her journey as a storyteller, producer, and love life CEO, follow her on Instagram @shirleyvernae and learn more about her work at williebstudios.com.
Featured image courtesy of Shirley Vernae