

In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Life is a balancing act: one that takes patience, self-care, and a heart full of hustle to truly master.
New York-based blogger and attorney Cynthia Andrew, best known as Simply Cyn, has spent the majority of her time over the past few weeks jet-setting and living out every single one of our #TravelGoals but it's important to know that with a life full of so much spontaneity, Cyn still makes self-care one of her top priorities. From Amsterdam and Anguilla to Thailand and The Maldives, there's no shortage of airline miles when it comes to this fashion blogging paralegal's quest for freedom, abundance, and ultimately, balance.
We got to sit down with Cyn, who gave us all the tea on how she creates a sense of equilibrium while still living a life that's full of adventure. Whether it's going all out on a manicure at the nail shop or curling up with her hubby to binge-watch The Great British Bakeoff, Cyn says finding time to wind down is her secret to the ultimate level-up. Here's what we learned:
What’s been the driving force behind all of the hats that you wear these days? What is your “why”?
I love sharing experiences with others. I think we can all learn a lot from each other. It's also why I love to travel so much.
At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
Probably more recently, I've always been on go, go, go. But I actually had to take some time from my office gig to recenter myself and to explore a few options for myself especially in light of all the opportunities I now get because of my blog and social media.
What are some ways you stay focused on the positive when things get hard?
I just remember that it always seems insurmountable, but past experience has shown that it gets better. You can survive the biggest challenges. We are stronger than we think and it's never really as bad as it feels in the moment.
"You can survive the biggest challenges. We are stronger than we think and it's never really as bad as it feels in the moment."
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
A little while ago, it was: get up early enough to post social media content, go to work meetings and more meetings, leave the office sometime around 6 p.m. (or much later depending on the project) and then, as soon as I get home, work on my blog and Instagram content. Then, I would schedule shoots for the weekend and manage brand collaboration emails and deliverables. But the past two months, I have been traveling nonstop––Amsterdam, Italy, Maldives, Anguilla, Thailand, Vegas––so it's been extremely unusual.
What are your mornings like?
I'm up around 5-6 a.m. I wish I could say I work out, but it's been a space where I struggle with inconsistency. It's mostly emails and more emails. Breakfast happens somewhere around 10 am and it's either avocado on toast or yogurt.
How do you wind down at night?
Wind down… (laughs), what's that? I try to have something soothing in the background while I work––jazz, comedy. I also love what I do, which is key. So I can keep at it for quite a while.
When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it?
Mondays can be quite brutal because everyone is back on the grind and it's the emails that can distract me from completing actual work and projects. I usually have lots of photos and videos to edit. I also have to write blog posts, product reviews or copy for brand collabs. Again, this is completely separate and apart from my other responsibilities when I'm at the office––a completely different universe of responsibilities from the social media universe.
Do you practice self-care? What does that look like for you?
I understand the importance of self-care and I practice it in certain ways. For example, I sometimes just stop and watch TV, that relaxes me. This usually means The Great British Bake Off; I call my sister and friends or stop by their place. But to be completely honest, I'm in a busy season. I wanted this season and it won't be forever so at this moment, self-care time is less than optimal. If I was giving advice to myself, I would recommend just a little bit more.
"To be completely honest, I'm in a busy season. I wanted this season and it won't be forever so at this moment, self-care time is less than optimal. If I was giving advice to myself, I would recommend just a little bit more."
What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
I think a little is better than none, so my minimal downtime helps me refocus. It's like the power nap, a little bit can go a long way in recharging you. Something else I do for self-care is I get a mani-pedi and I completely put my phone away. I don't try to get any work done during that time. Get one of those hand treatments where your hands are unusable or go all in and get that hour massage. Also, put an away message on your email if you need some time. Just say you're indisposed and will get back to them when you can. Set realistic deadlines and if you have the ability to control this, be honest and firm.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
Monthly dinner plans, group chats, and photos to update each other on what's going on. My friends are the best though, they set things up and they completely understand the season I'm in and they don't judge or make me feel guilty if I'm late or have to miss get-togethers.
Love/Relationships?
The hubby is my partner in crime, so I'm lucky. He supports me so much in so many ways and will be the one to call a timeout for me if he thinks I'm doing too much. We like good dinner plans together.
Exercise? Does it happen?
The hubby and I sometimes work out together. To be most accurate, we head over to the gym together and do completely different things but our plans have more recently been derailed by travel.
Do you cook or find yourself eating out more often?
Love to cook but been I've been ordering out lately. Sometimes I just get sweet plantains and roast them with hot sauce and that's it. Now that it's getting colder, I'll probably go back to my fave thing which is making huge pots of soup that last all week––chicken soup, cow foot soup, and more.
Do you ever detox? What does that consist of?
I don't detox, but I consciously eat clean more often than not. We generally don't have snacks lying around, we eat fruits, salads. Keep it simple.
What does happiness mean to you?
Less worries, less fear. I'm not sure you can completely eliminate worries and fear and I think that's actually a good thing for balance.
To keep up with Cyn, check out her Instagram @SimplyCyn!
Featured image by SimplyCyn/Instagram.
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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