If you look at any sportswear ad or fitness magazine, you tend to see the same slender and toned images over and over again. We live in a society where being skinny is often associated with being healthy. If a person is fat it is automatically assumed that they're unhealthy.
Mirna Valerio defies the stereotype. She is happy, fit, and weighs 250 lbs. As an active runner who is extremely passionate about the sport, she logs 25 miles a week, and if training for a race, 35 miles a week. She also leads three mile group trail runs, is a wife, mom, teacher, cross-country coach, classically trained singer, and an inspiration for runners of all sizes.
“Serious running and being seriously fat just don't go together in people's minds,"Mirna says in an interview with Runner's World, "If I didn't run, I wouldn't draw notice. I'd just be one more obese black woman. And if I were thin, I'd just be one more number at the starting line. But I run a lot, and I'm still fat. Some people can't get their heads around that. They don't think I'm for real, that I've earned the right to call myself a runner. They don't say it out loud; you learn to read it in their eyes."
The 39-year-old has a popular blog that she started in 2011 called Fat Girl Running, in which she writes about her love for the sport, gives tips to motivate other runners, calls out her naysayers that don't believe that someone her size can be happy and fit. She doesn't allow her critics who try to body shame her bring her down. She is a positive and powerful force who uses her platform to encourage others who do not look like the stereotypical norm of what a runner "should look like."
On her blog, she recently clapped back at her critics who feel that her message and her media coverage somehow “promotes obesity." She writes:
“I promote body positivity, fitness, body love. Self-love, body awareness. Human love, human awareness. When I'm out there doing the damn thing, that is the height of my love. Love is not always easy, but love is love. Really, there is enough for everyone, even people who are fat/obese/bigboned/fluffy/chubby/lovehandley/thick/round/pearshaped/appleshaped/heavy.
We know we don't have these so called aspirational bodies, but dammit--I LOVE MY BODY FOR EVERYTHING IT IS and COULD BE. I ASPIRE to whatever my body ASPIRES. My body/our bodies IS/ARE ASPIRATIONAL.
I am making a pledge to myself of love, respect and honor for the sacred space that my body is. It is MY temple. Not yours."
Be who you're, not worried about what it looks like to be a runner, and run because you know it's good for you."
Mirna discovered her love for running in high school and she continued her exercise habits into her adult years, but eventually stopped due to being a mom, wife, and having a busy work schedule that left her little time or energy to exercise.
It was not until 2008 when she received a terrifying wakeup call where she thought she was having a heart attack. In an interview with People, she said, "I was having pains in my chest and was hyperventilating. I had my son in the car and I was very scared. It was a traumatic experience."
Luckily, it was just an anxiety attack, not a heart attack. However, doctors informed her that she had high blood pressure and inflammation. Her cardiologist warned her that if did not make a lifestyle change, she would not live long enough to see her son grow up.
Ever since then she began running and has never stopped. She also has incorporated healthy eating habits. She has lost 40 pounds and no longer suffers from inflammation or high blood pressure. She embraces who she is, accepts her body, and she is happy.
“I know how hard it is for some people to accept me. People have a preconceived idea about the way a fat person is supposed to act. A fat person is supposed to be depressed and lethargic and slow-moving. A fat person is supposed to be diabetic and asthmatic and engage in a lot of self-destructive behavior. I don't act that way or look that way, and so, once they get to know me, people stop seeing me as a fat person."
Mirna is an inspiring women, and she is definitely breaking the stereotype of what it looks like to be a runner and to be fit.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
