Actress Serayah On How Her Vision Board Helped Her Land 'Empire'
In case you didn't know, Serayah McNeill is one cool chick. Although the actress is most known for her role as Tiana Brown, an emerging pop starwith Rihanna-inspired Caribbean tracks and a mean dutty whine on FOX's hit series Empire, off-screen Serayah is just a 21-year-old coming into her own and adjusting to fame.
xoNecole recently caught up with the LA native, and she dished out some cool fun facts that sealed the deal --she's our new best friend in our heads. Here's what we learned:
She embraces her curls...
"My hair has always been curly, I started to straighten it because I didn't like how big it was. On the show, Lee wanted my hair big and curly every episode, it helped me accept myself and who I am in my natural state. It was really cool to be able to have my character on the show have natural hair."
As far as auditioning...
"I don't want to fall into the pressures of looking a certain way or being a certain size. For example, I've always wanted to be taller. But to be in this industry, I've had to accept every aspect of myself including the fact that I'm short! It is what it is and I'll get the roles that are meant for me."
She and her mom are BFF Goals...
"My mom is my best friend, we talk about everything. She's my reality check. She definitely talks to me from a different perspective--from the outside looking in. She tells me how things really are and at the end of the day, she's usually right!"
Her circle of friends is changing...
"To finally be in the position that I'm in and to see people that have changed around me is an unveiling process. I have started to realize that certain people I've known [before Empire], as well as family, have began to act weird or have said weird things. It's all a part of figuring out who I am at this stage because I have had to question people's motives. Why do they want to be around me? Are they sincere? Why do they want to be my friend? Unfortunately, that does cross my mind. But I try to keep an open mind and give everyone a clean slate until something goes wrong, but it can be tough."
She's a Daddy's girl...
"My dad isn't very outspoken so, when we talk about anything like relationships, it gets a little weird. He's definitely led by example. He taught me to be respected. In talking to him about certain boyfriends I had in high school, he would say, 'You don't need that...you're this type of woman.' I needed that clarity growing up so I would understand my worth. I think that type of advice is best if possible to come from your father."
She's nothing like her character Tiana...
"Tiana, oh God, she's definitely nothing like me when it comes to relationships. She values money and her career a lot more than her dignity. I don't think Empire has given much background on Tiana and why she makes certain decisions as of yet. She's definitely taught me to stay focused and just do me."
Life before the fame...
"I was going to community college majoring in theatre, working at H&M, and modeling on the side as well as singing and dancing. I was booking some commercials, but I really wanted to be on a TV show. I wrote that down on my vision board, and I really started to hone in and focus in on what I really wanted to do. I'm very spiritual, and I think my belief and God as well as always putting good energy into the world has made a difference. Not giving up is a main factor for anything you want. You can't be so hard on yourself. I also have a great support system of people that love me and keep me reassured and motivated. Even when I didn't see anything happening it could be so frustrating. You have to remember the blessing is in the works. And this is all a process. That's also applicable to right now and what I want for my future, everything is still a process, there are a lot of things I'm working towards that I won't give up on."
Vision boards help shape her life...
"I'm still auditioning for a couple movie roles that are now on my vision board. I pray that if it's God's will that I book a certain role, then it's already mine. I try to put everything I have into the roles I'm auditioning for. I do get attached to the character I'm studying prior to the audition, so it still hurts not to book a role, but it could be for a variety of reasons, including a scheduling conflict with Empire. Whatever's next for me, it's going to be amazing and that's what I keep at the forefront of my mind."
She's learned the most on set from...
"Terrence Howard. He has a very giving spirit. When I first met him, during our lunch break, I happened to sit next to him. He, my mom, and I had a great conversation. He's very intellectual. We were speaking recently and he's the complete opposite of his character, Lucious Lyon. In actuality, he's not only very encouraging, but sincere."
She's most proud of...
"In addition to Empire, meeting people that I admire that are fans of mine has been amazing. Patti Labelle and Jennifer Hudson have given me compliments, and that has meant so much to me.
"No matter how many insecurities I have or how hard I am on myself, there are people that see and appreciate my work; I'll always remember those moments.
"As well as having Terrence Howard and Malik Yoba help me with my lines and encourage me to stand out and do my best, I'm also blessed for the opportunities I've had to perform in front of 50,000 people [onstage with Taylor Swift]. I never would have imagined doing something like that. The energy from that is an out-of-body experience. I can understand how artists can be on the road for months at a time doing the same exact show but feeling like it's something new every time. Those moments are all so inspiring and have been the highlights of my year."
Featured image by Michael Bezjian/Getty Images for TAO
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images