While tending bar at a local hotspot, aspiring actress, army veteran and ATL transplant DominiQue "G.I. Jane" Williams found herself serving entertainment mogul Will Packer and his wife. After a lively chat, to Williams' surprise, Packer offered her his contact information to stay in touch about an upcoming role. She wrote it down on a copy of his receipt.
To her dismay, while searching for that same receipt a day or two later, DominiQue realized that it was long gone. At the end of that fateful evening, it had been collected with the rest of her receipts for the night. For someone else, the story would have ended there, a suspenseful little "almost made it" anecdote to tell the grandkids 40 years from now.
But as I soon came to understand during our conversation, DominiQue Williams isn't settling for cliffhangers or a life half-lived.
"What is meant for me will be for me," she says with conviction as we delve into her journey from the beginning.
Infectious optimism is her stock-in-trade. DominiQue glows with what the old folks would call an "in-spite-of" kind of joy. It's carried her through a network of storms and rewarded her with a windfall of wisdom in just 29 years of living. She can tell you all about surviving and thriving through military training, fighting an arduous battle with an aggressive illness, and the life-or-death decision to leave home at 23.
You wouldn't guess she's experienced so much or even think to feel sorry for her; you wouldn't have to. DominiQue tells her story with ease, humility and not one trace of self-pity. "I'm not dismissing [my] process because I understand that it's for my good. There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for me," she says during our interview.
Leaving The Nest, Finding Her Best
Image courtesy of DominQue Williams
DominiQue always aspired to more than her small hometown, Cincinnati, Ohio, could offer. Acting presented precisely the right outlet for her unforgettable personality; animated and diligent, curious and determined. Though she applied to the local arts high school, things didn't go as planned.
Shortly after, DominiQue set her Hollywood dreams aside and focused on the "more realistic" goals. The kind of monotonous, hemmed-in realism a small town demands of its residents, no matter how big and brilliant and bold their dreams.
"There was nothing [in Cincinnati] for me. I've always had really high ambitions and it just wasn't where I wanted to settle because that's exactly what it would be...settling."
While in college, the Reserved Officer Training Corps (ROTC) offered captivating stories of international army travel and Dominique joined The U.S. Army without much hesitation garnering a new nickname "G.I. Jane." It was both an homage to her favorite movie G.I. Jane, the 1997 military drama/action film starring Demi Moore and DominiQue's new look sans hair. Not only was the name fitting, it was foretelling.
"The military provided discipline and they humbled me. [I realized that] if I could do that, I can do anything. The results that you want don't happen right away but if you are diligent, determined, and persistent, they will come," DominiQue says with a kind of conviction that can only be born of experience.
Flying Against The Wind
Image courtesy of DominQue Williams
Fast forward to 2013. At an age when most young women are making their first post-graduate career move, DominiQue was hit with life-changing news: a cancer diagnosis. "It felt like an out-of-body experience. I didn't believe it and I really didn't know how to handle it," she recalls.
With little understanding of her illness and no one to equipped to help her fight it, DominiQue found herself spiraling, unmotivated to seek further treatment or care for herself.
"[I thought] 'I have to get out of here. If I don't get out of here, I'm going to die.'"
Packing as many of her belongings as would fit into her Camaro, on Christmas Day 2013 DominiQue left Cincinnati for a seven-hour, one-way drive to Atlanta, Georgia. "I never looked back. I left my whole house. I [felt] that if cancer was going to be something that [ended] my life, I at least [wanted] to go live my life and I knew I couldn't live in Cincinnati."
What she'd been dying to find in Cincinnati saved her life once in Atlanta. New friends seamlessly incorporated her as family, taking an interest in her health and introducing her to traditional and holistic practitioners. They drove her to doctors' appointments, sat with her when she fell ill from chemo treatments, and used social media to raise money, alleviating the financial strain of medical bills.
Consistent treatment and her newfound community's support helped DominQue to feel like herself again and, with time, beat her diagnosis. She holds close an invaluable lesson:
"I remember thinking that even if I wasn't getting better, I was feeling better. A lot of people don't know that long before the disease will defeat you, [a negative] mental state, spiritual state will kill you first. So, moving saved my life."
Chasing Destiny
Image courtesy of DominQue Williams
The move to Atlanta provided both a cure and an opportunity to continue living out her favorite quote:
"I'm willing to work for everything I prayed for."
Despite initially losing Will Packer's information, DominiQue's resilience rose to the top. She called a friend in the industry for help contacting the Hollywood hitmaker.
"We were sent to the gatekeepers and the answer was no [at first] but six months later my friend gives me a call and he says, 'Hey, Will Packer wants to know if you would be interested in an audition. I said, 'Me?'" she recalls with an ever-present awe.
Her friend echoed a sentiment to which DominiQue was no stranger, "Yeah, you. He didn't remember your name but he remembered your personality."
Just as Time and Opportunity met again, another obstacle presented itself: DominiQue was pushing one month with pneumonia on strict bed rest orders for at least two more weeks. Her friend's response? "He said, 'You can stay in bed if you want but this is a big opportunity. You just have to get up and go nail it," DominiQue lets out a raspy laugh.
Not even knowing what she was auditioning for, she submitted her audition reel with the help of another friend and returned to bed rest. A few weeks later, DominiQue got the call. She had landed her first movie role in the 2019 Shaft sequel starring Samuel L. Jackson, Richard Rountree, and Jessie T. Usher.
As her acting career begins, she looks to the greats for inspiration but holds space for her own exploration of a range of roles. She wants to do it all.
And with the knowledge she's gained, DominiQue is giving back no matter how far Hollywood takes her. "I want to speak to women who struggle with terminal illnesses, college students, [and] girls in the inner city."
Her ultimate desire is to stir up hope for those who are facing stacked odds because, as she knows well, sometimes your journey is about more than just you. "In order to get through you've got to go through. Sometimes what you go through isn't always [just] for you, it's for someone else," she implores.
DominiQue wastes no time on self-pity for past failures to launch, not with so many miles of blue skies ahead and the lives she now understands she was destined to touch.
"When I was going through [being sick with cancer] I felt like, 'Why is this happening to me? [I felt like I was] being punished.' But when I saw the people it was [inspiring] how many people reached out to me on social media and come up to me to this day… Discussing my story is helping them through losing loved ones or going into the military. Me aspiring to do something is inspiring other people."
Check out Shaft, in theaters now.
For more of DominiQue, follow her on Instagram.
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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