Devi Brown Is Carving Out Space In The Wellness Industry For Women Of Color
Reiki energy healer, primordial sound meditation educator, spiritual psychology practitioner, best-selling author, and wellness entrepreneur. These are just a few titles that the unconquerable Devi Brown holds in the wellness industry. After reaching the peak of her career in the music industry and becoming a top-notch radio personality, she began to believe that something was missing. As she dug deeper into her spiritual and wellness journey, she began to share her healing and spiritual findings through Karma Bliss, which has ultimately put a focus on carving a space in the wellness industry for women of color.
Today, Devi Brown serves as the Chief Impact Officer at Chopra Global, where she will "help drive Chopra Global's creative direction, content strategy, and impact efforts, as well as provide guidance and insight to best serve the company's mission of democratizing well-being and bringing expanded consciousness to a global collective," according to a recent press release on behalf of Chopra Global. Tonia O'Connor, CEO of Chopra Global, says the team is "grateful to have her" and dubs Devi as "one of the most respected voices in well-being."
xoNecole caught up with the wellness expert, author, and Chopra certified educator of Primordial Sound Meditation about her devotion to spiritual connection, her passion for advocacy for women of color in wellness, and how her career as a music executive led her to her new role with Chopra Global, who recently launched a new mobile app.
On her initial interest in the wellness industry and carving spaces for women of color:
"Curiosity about personal transformation and spirituality has always been at the core of who I was since childhood. I believe that so much of who we are, our innate skill sets and even the longings and interests that we have were determined before we got to earth, so in that regard I know that so much of my connection to this work is above me. In real-world not just spiritual world reality though I was drawn to explore healing modalities and wellness as I began to experience 'busy burnout' while working in broadcasting and entertainment. I was hitting milestones and fitting the 'success' model that society had taught me to measure myself against but it always felt like something was missing, like there was a void, or like I wasn't really meeting my full human potential.
"As I began to explore that new understanding and started shifting my lens of perception, this new view also extended to the way I experienced my past, present and future. Once you start really working on yourself and accepting yourself, it's as if the floodgates open and an outpouring of deeper understandings begin to happen in every aspect of your life.
"For women of color, I believe access to tools to enhance overall life well-being is of the utmost importance. Women of color are the most marginalized and unsupported group of people in the world. Specifically, black women in the United States. We have to joyfully care for ourselves first which is so counterintuitive to anything we have ever been led to believe."
On how the music industry prepared her for her new career move at Chopra Global:
"Working in entertainment and broadcasting can truly prepare you for almost anything (laughs). Something that I loved about that time in my life was the way it fed my curiosity about the human condition. The way it allowed me to connect with people from all walks of life and all backgrounds. How to really get clear on my thoughts and how to read a crowd quickly. It also taught me how to not take things personally. When I was a little girl growing up in L.A., we were always stuck in traffic and listening to the radio.
"I remember being in awe of the sacredness I experienced with being connected to someone I didn't know over the airwaves and feeling like they were a companion on that leg of my journey, which at the time was just the freeway drive from home to school. That desire for connection to help people feel seen and heard is what still drives me today, except now I get to connect people to themselves and to tools of transformation as opposed to headlines and music."
On her plans on using her role and Chopra Global as a platform to elevate wellness for women of color:
"When I first deep-dived into my wellness journey, first starting with being a retreat and summit participant with various collectives, then as student of different schools and certification programs, then as an entrepreneur starting my own wellness business; it was never lost on me that 99% of the time I was the only Black millennial person in every single space I occupied. This was especially true when I first started almost a decade ago. Some of these events ranged in size from 40 people all the way up to 500+ people. No matter the size, I never saw anyone that looked like me.
"I've spent a very long time investigating what that understanding meant to me, the barriers to healing that exist for POC and how that impacted my/our journey (and sometimes lack thereof). Much of that and more is what I am incredibly excited about helping to shift not just within the company but within the wellness industry as a whole. I'm looking to get more [people of color] certified as teachers and healing practitioners and help create events that include more diverse speakers and attendees as well as implementing the best ways to apply knowledge of barriers various cultures and communities have to healing and how to most authentically help people expand emotionally and embody well-being practices based on those unique but pervasive barriers to entry."
Courtesy of Devi Brown/22 Spring
On how she has been personally impacted by Deepak Chopra's work:
"Deepak's work very literally changed the trajectory of my life and informed my ability to identify my purpose and mission. I think like most, by nature of him being a spiritual pioneer for the last nearly 30 years, I was aware of his books and some of his philosophies but it wasn't until a chance opportunity to attend one of his signature retreats at the height of my busy burnout/ego investigation while still working in broadcasting that I was able to access deeper parts of my spiritual experience. Deepak has authored over 90 books but my entry point to deeper understandings of higher consciousness came through his 7 Spiritual Laws of Success and Perfect Health. I first learned to meditate and how to come into a space of acceptance, detachment from outcome and peace through his life's work. He taught me how to really be with myself and experience a lightness of being in all I did and do."
On wellness, self-care and self-love practices in her everyday life:
"Personal wellness/well-being is the top priority of every facet of my life. It's my foundation and fuel. The quickest road to purpose and personal evolution is found in your daily spiritual practice or routine. For me that looks like an am and pm practice. In the mornings I meditate, stretch, pray, say affirmations, play my sound bowl and read a couple pages from a soul-nourishing book. In the evening I clear my energy, light some copal, pray, journal, play music to raise my frequency and dance. I've really taken advantage of COVID/social distancing clearing my calendar to supercharge my practice at night. I've been really intentional with how I use all this new 'me' time and I've loved the way it is sharpening me. This moment in time is truly an opportunity to become the 2.0 versions of ourselves if we let it."
On spiritual activism and generational trauma:
"I experience spiritual activism as a way of infusing your core spiritual beliefs into the way you show up for yourself and others. This past winter and spring, I noticed a lot of the traditionally white wellness and spiritual communities weaponizing systems of belief as a way to bypass what has been happening in the world and as a way to insulate themselves against deeper understanding of real world human experiences for people of color. I believe that if you have healed and expanded yourself, it is a spiritual duty to go out of your way to insert yourself and these compassionate understandings into the world in real time in a way that is of service to all oppressed and marginalized people.
"A core piece of dissolving intergenerational trauma is educating ourselves on our own family systems and adding in the lens of the role society, systemic racism and capitalism played in our brokenness. To be healed and have regular access to peace we must accept ourselves. To accept ourselves as Black women, we have to radically stand in our truths and regularly set self-honoring boundaries."
"We have to cast down the mechanism of forced resilience and emotional bypass and allow ourselves to heal. We need to prioritize our happiness and well-being first. As we do that, energetically we create healing and freedom for our entire lineage past, present and future."
For more of Devi, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image by 22 Spring
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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