Walking into our twenties feels like we're stepping into our artificial glow of the "I'm grown, and no one can tell me nothing" phase; however, it's the decade we're prone to making the most money mistakes. What we do with our money in our twenties could also roll over into what we're doing in our 30s. And if you're not careful, your poor spending and saving habits can cost you in the long run.
Next thing you know, when you're ready to buy a home or car and they run your credit, and it looks horrible – you have no one to blame but yourself. Stepping into adulthood, we have to own our spending habits and pave the way to build financial wealth. It's never too late to change your money mistakes, but you have to be committed to following that plan instead of enabling those bad habits. Here's a list of things you may be doing now that you NEED to change ASAP.
Not having emergency funds
Over It Reaction GIFGiphyI know when we're young, we tend to think we're untouchable. Life won't shatter in our faces, but that's a false narrative; emergencies happen to all of us – despite our age. Though we may be committed to the jobs we work at, they aren't always committed to us when they have their personal quotas to meet.
So it's possible in some part of your life you can lose your job, and what happens next when you don't have the financial backing to depend on while you're job hunting? You should aim to have at least three months of living expenses saved in an emergency fund just in case that storm ever hits where you have no income and need some grace period money to get you off your feet. Start small and begin by saving $1,000 and then keep adding to it month to month until you have three months. Dave Ramsey has a great resource on how to quickly build your emergency fund. You can find that here.
Spending more than you make
nicki minaj money GIFGiphyLearning to live below your means is the top tier secret to building wealth. I know the media plays a significant role in our spending habits as we see everyone do everything, and then we sit back and question why we aren't doing that too. Don't let comparison steal your joy and mislead you into financial ruin by living above your means.
No, you don't need every cute shoes you see or to say "yes" to every vacation your friends invite you to. You have to create a financial structure that will help you thrive in the long run, not just in the present. If you want that business, house, or car, it's not going to invest in itself; it needs your disciplined spending to build it.
Living off credit cards
Season 4 Episode 6 GIF by The OfficeGiphyListen, y'all, credit cards can be life-saving when you're in a bind, and they can also ruin your life if you don't know how to manage them. According to WalletHub, Americans started the new decade last year by owing a collective $1 trillion in credit card debt. For those who have credit card debt, the weight of the financial burden can feel quite debilitating and it can sometimes be a hole that is hard for debtors to climb out of.
In fact, the more you owe on your credit cards, the harder it is to bring up your credit score, and oftentimes credit card companies do not raise your credit limit when you owe a balance. So in order to get ahead of credit card debt, pay more than the minimum payments, factoring in the interest cost to reduce the amount of credit card debt you will have and increase your credit score.
Not saving for retirement
Oprah Retirement GIF by swerkGiphyThe sooner you start investing in your 401k or other retirement accounts, the longer that money can accumulate interest and the more funds you'll have when you are ready to retire. Saving for your retirement doesn't have to start out big; you could start out at 22 years old with your first job, investing two percent of your income to retirement and increase that rate every year or every other year. So when you step into your thirties, you'll be at the healthy ratio of investing 10 to 15 percent of your income into your retirement funds.
Not diversifying your income
work working GIFGiphyMonogamy is meant for relationships, not our careers. Don't over-commit to one job because when they need to cut their budgets or just feel like you don't fit their role anymore – they'll just let you go without warning. It's always great to have a side gig or several side gigs you can jump back into if things ever go south with your main job.
Don't burn the bridges of your side gig braiding hair, flipping homes, babysitting, dog sittings, etc. If you're a great chef, still cater events when you can; if you're a jewelry designer, work on designing your own pieces and selling them in your spare time instead of only focusing on your corporate jobs design line. Bringing in more income opens doors to invest more and build generation wealth, so those little side jobs can be investing in your child's tuition or buying that condo you have your eyes on.
Not getting renter’s insurance
stressed out stress GIF by SZAGiphyIn our 20s and 30s, we're mainly focused on moving out of our parents' place and living independently in our new apartments. I didn't even know of renter's insurance until a year of living on my own. Some people may think it's pointless because what are the odds water damage or a lousy tornado will occur and ruin your place? Or the odds that someone breaks into your apartment and steals your laptop and TV? But it happens and if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready.
So now that you have the picture painted on the potential loss, that small monthly expense doesn't seem unnecessary; it becomes a no-brainer to have some sort of renter's insurance while living in your apartment. It's better to be covered just in case versus having to cover the expense of your things if they are destroyed or stolen.
Not having a financial plan when you move in with a partner
Couple Chillin GIF by Ryan TreyGiphyTesting out the waters before marriage by living together is cute and all but you and your partner need to have the heavy conversations regarding finances. Deciding who pays what bill and how much of the rent you'll contribute, and more than anything, what you both are saving towards. Openly discussing your budget and spending habits helps to hold each other accountable to work on your credit scores, pay down debts, and entertain conversations like buying a house together and investing in vacations, babies, businesses, etc.
It may be an awkward conversation initially, but it's a conversation worth having to make sure you both grow together financially. If you find that you are not on the same pages financially, it might be worth holding off on cohabitating. Additionally, it might be useful to get something down in writing that covers the both of you if the relationship ends and you want to skip the potential mess of figuring out who lives where and if the lease will be broken.
Ladies, money mistakes are going to happen one way or another. But we have to start making big money moves by adjusting how we spend our money and what we invest in. It's never too late to stop those bad habits and create new ones to open the doors to financial freedom.
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
