The first time I heard about the "Mo'Nique Boycotting Netflix" issue was in the car on the way to work. Charlamagne Thagod from The Breakfast Club was giving her Donkey of the Day.
In typical Charlamagne fashion, he wasn't just talking about the situation, he went in. He pretty much called Mo'Nique a joke. Even going as far to pull in clips from her Sway in the Morning interview. He called her delusional for saying that she was the most decorated comedian alive, ending it by saying that you're only as valuable as your current market value.
What Charlamagne failed to point out is that Mo'Nique is the only female comedian that has have similar careers like our legendary male comedians, i.e. Steve Harvey, Martin Lawrence, and Kevin Hart. Mo'Nique has had a hit sitcom on the UPN, a hit talk show on BET, movies, and many successful comedy tours.
When I got in the office, the first thing I did was listen to the Sway in the Morning interview. In the interview, Mo'Nique walks us through the timeline and details with Netflix. She explained how Netflix reached out to her and asked if their representatives could come see her show. Three representatives saw the show and all of them loved it. Netflix then came to her with an offer of $500.000.
Now, I don't pretend to know anything about comedian pay days, but coming from Netflix, $500,000 seemed extremely low. Especially after the offers of $40 million for Chris Rock, $60 million for Dave Chappelle, $100 million for Jerry Seinfeld, and $11 million for Amy Schumer. Taken aback by the offer, Mo'Nique and her husband went back to Netflix to show them proof of her international reach. Still, Netflix didn't budge on the offer and instead gave her a ridiculous excuse that they didn't go off resumes. Instead, they based their offers based on anticipation.
I'm just going to put it out there that I damn sure wasn't looking for a Jerry Seinfeld or Amy Schumer special.
Anyway, with her back against the wall, she brought up Amy Schumer and her $11 million payout. It's no secret that Amy Schumer pushed back on Netflix and demanded a larger salary. She did this simply on the strength of how much Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock was offered. The gag of it all is the special turned out to be trash and not worth the investment.
Later that night, I'm strolling up Twitter. I run across a video of Mo'Nique in front of her award case. (She has receipts.) She breaks down the box office numbers from Amy Schumer's budget for Snatch, which was $42 Million and grossed $45 million, making a mere $3 million profit. Whereas her film Precious had abudget of $10 million and grossed $47 million, making a profit of $37 million. The film was also nominated for six Academy Awards in which Mo'Nique won Best Supporting Actress.
See, I grew up with The Parkers on television. Being a heavier girl with a dream of acting, it was seeing Mo'Nique and Countess on the screen that gave me hope. It was Mo'Nique who gave me confidence in my body. She made it cool to say, "skinny bitches are evil." And even if you're not a fan of the fat girl jokes, Mo'Nique still has done things to push our culture forward.
Instead of rallying behind someone who has given their career to us, we laugh. We say that she should be humble and change her approach.
It seems every time someone attempts to take up for us, we say "Sit Your Ass Down." Yet, we complain about companies saying racist sh*t and just apologizing. Black Twitter will go in an uproar for a week. Then move on to the next topic. We are the only race with the greatest buying power but refuse to use it when it counts. Aren't you tired of this cycle of blatant racism being covered up with a half ass apology?
I would like to think this is just a Mo'Nique issue, but it's not.
In fact, we quickly dismiss anyone who questions the norm.
When Jay-Z announced Tidal, people was talking about how expensive it was, yet we spend hours searching the internet for free content from Tidal.
When Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith called for a boycott of the Oscars for lack of representation everyone said they was only doing it because Will didn't get a nomination that year. Yet, we will watch the Oscars and tweet #OscarsSoWhite.
When Kanye was ranting about how racist the fashion industry was, we told him he had "rich n*gga problems" and to stick to rapping. Yet, we will buy the knockoff Yeezy clothes from Zara and H&M.
At what point is enough going to be enough? When are we going to demand that the industry respect us and our legends? When will we realize that change doesn't come with convenience?
That same energy we have towards Black Panther should be for anybody who's pushing our culture forward. If we don't change the norm now, what happens if Issa pisses off the wrong person? Or Tiffany Haddish? Are we saying it's okay to strip them of everything they have done because they aren't "hot" right now? Nah, f*ck that! If we can root for Shonda Rhimes and Ellen Pompeo to get their money, why can't we stand behind Mo'Nique and demand that Netflix run her money? Or would that be too much like right?
We're at a very pivotal time in our country.
Obama may not be in office but that doesn't mean we can't keep his spirit of change alive. We can continue to push our culture forward, but it has to start from the inside. We must be like Issa Rae and root for everybody black, including Mo'Nique and any other celebrity that dares to question the status quo. It's time we get behind our legends.
We can easily make our presence known and felt. And not just on the Internet as a trending topic. We can hit them where it hurts: their pockets. It's going to be uncomfortable. We may not be able to watch our favorite shows or go to our favorite cheap clothing stores. But that's the price we pay to ensure we're not having this same conversation again in 10 years.
Real change doesn't come with convenience.
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"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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