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6/9 Is National Sex Day & This Is How You Commemorate It

Sex

You would think that with all of the researching that I do on the topic, I would've known years ago that June 9 is a very (VERY) special day. But, for whatever the reason, I just discovered a few months ago that it's National Sex Day (not to be confused with National Orgasm Day which is July 31)!


I must admit that when I first found that out, I smiled…for two reasons. Well, actually three. The first reason is I find it to be both fitting and an honor that this kind of day would go down during the month of Gemini, the month that I was born. Second, how cute (I'm not sure if that's exactly the right word but let's roll with it) that the ninth day of the sixth month of the year would create a 69—and we all know what sexual position that is. Then—and if this is TMI, let me just say that I apologize in advance—I thought about how, I'm not sure if it's a coincidence or not, but some of the best sex I've ever had in my entire life came from a man who was born on (what?!) June 9! So yeah, if anyone is especially fond and supportive of this day, it would be me.

But you don't need to be a Gemini—or sexually active with one—to get hype about it. Let me tell it, any occasion when sex can be the focal point is something worth celebrating. So, in honor of 6/9, find your partner, then use some of the following ways to let them know just how much you love sex—and having sex with them!

1. Go Totally Off the Grid

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Whenever I ask the couples I work with to share with me the main reason why their sex life isn't as good as it used to be (or they want it to be), it never fails; the thing that I hear the most is a lack of quality time due to schedules and children.

Luckily, this year, National Sex Day is on a Sunday which makes it easier to book a hotel room, go on a staycation or hire a babysitter. Whatever it is that you decide to do, be intentional about "disconnecting" from the rest of the world for as many hours as you can. This means no phone, no computers, no company—nothing that will take your mind of you, yours and getting as up close and personal as possible.

2. Download Some Sex-Specific Apps

Technology is something else, boy. Just when I think it can't top itself, it does. Take if you're in a long-distance relationship and you want to observe National Sex Day but neither of you can catch a last-minute flight? In walks OhMiBod; it's an app that connects vibrators to Bluetooth or Wi-Fi so that you can get each other all hot 'n bothered on screen, even if you can't be together in person. The Pleasure Machine is an app that boils down to being a sexy slot machine game that you and yours can play; different wheels provide different levels of stimulation. Honi is a dope app because it's a cool way for you and your partner to explore sexual fantasies, dares and Kama Sutra positions from the privacy of your smartphones. All of these are ways to get excited before physically being in one another's space.

3. Listen to a Sex-Themed Podcast

Some of us are "audible lovers". We're the ones who get off by sexy sounds and dirty talk. If you fit this bill, something that might help you to get into the mood is to listen to a few podcasts that are all about sex.

Ones that feature "our own" voices include The Savage Life (which is definitely not PG-13 rated); You Did What?! (which is pretty self-explanatory); Millennial Lov3: Sex, Love & I'm Selfish AF! (featuring two girls and one guy from the South); Bonnets & Durags: A Pillow Talk Podcast (how can you not love the name?!); Broken P—y Podcast (cue in the first episode of the first season of Insecure, plus I always dig Black folks with British accents); Just the Tip (I mean…) and The VagEsteem, a podcast that focuses on cultivating the kind of sex that is both good and healthy (not either or).

Related: WOC-Hosted Podcasts Guaranteed to Make You More Sex Positive

4. Make a Fantasy Jar, Hotel Jar and Sex Jar

Three jars that I think every married couple should have posted up somewhere in their house is a fantasy jar, a hotel jar and a sex jar.

A fantasy jar is a jar that has both you and your partner's fantasies in it. For the sake of spontaneity, you shouldn't know what your partner wrote and they shouldn't know what you wrote. However, so that no one is caught completely off guard, put the things that you already know your partner would be down to try on a green (green for "go") sheet of paper and what you think they might be open to negotiating on a yellow (yellow for "caution" or "pause") sheet of paper. Then, on special occasions (like this one) or even just the times when you want to be a little adventurous, each of you draw something from the jar and strive to make a fantasy come true.

The hotel jar. I don't know what it is, but there is something that is so damn hot about hotel sex! Make National Sex day extra sexy (and kinky) by booking a hotel room, a bed and breakfast, a vacation house or even an Airbnb. The catch is to choose a place that you and yours have already researched and put into your hotel jar. That takes all of the research and guesswork out of figuring out where to go. The less time you're looking up online, the more time you'll have to go and well, you know.

The sex jar, I've actually written about before. I found the idea a few years ago on Pinterest. Basically, you put some money into the jar every time you do-the-do. Then, after six months to a year, you take the money out and splurge on something couples-related. Just as a heads up, whether that ends up being a kid's meal at your local fast food drive-thru or a cruise to an island all depends on how much sex you and your partner are willing to invest in.

5. DIY Some Edible Lube

accelerate GIF by Christina Aguilera Giphy

The wetter, the better. If that lil' phrase was invented in the context of sex, they ain't ever lied! Anyway, maybe National Sex Day falls right before or right after your cycle and you're not as wet as you usually are. Maybe you're perimenopausal or even in menopause and your hormones have your vaginal fluids running on low. Or maybe, you're simply more in the mood for some of "that funk, that sweet, that nasty, that gushy stuff" (quick—who rapped about that?).

One way to achieve this is with longer rounds of foreplay (hopefully with some oral sex included). Another is to make your own lubrication; preferably the kind that tastes as good as it feels. If you want to take a stab at making a batch of your own, click here to learn how.

6. Add Some Sexy Touches to Your Bedroom

If you want to do something real quick, you're not gonna be able to pull off totally renovating your bedroom. What you can do is add a few touches in a few spots. If you prefer to have sex at night, but you don't want to wait that long, hang up some blackout curtains. Or, if your man wishes you'd have sex with the lights on more often, but you need to ease into the idea of it, hang some white Christmas lights from your headboard. Also, stop by Walmart or Target and pick up some red or purple sheets (they're considered to be really sexy bedding colors). Light some soy-scented candles in vanilla, jasmine, sandalwood, rose or a blend of pumpkin and lavender (they're all scents that will boost your libido). And, while you're at it, hang up a mirror across from your bed or get a new throw rug for your bedroom floor. Mirrors can give you a better view (wink) and a fluffy rug will significantly decrease your chances of ending up with any carpet burns (wink, wink).

7. Invest in a Sex Pillow

Why not use National Sex Day as a time to try out a different sex position for the first time? If you think that you already know them all, test that theory out by checking out these sex positions that are in our sex section right here? If some of them seem a little more anatomically-challenging than others, something that can probably make achieving them easier is a sex pillow. The ones you already have on your bed are cool too, but a pillow that's specifically-designed for sex is…well, a pillow that's specifically designed for sex. Amazon has a slew of them, by the way.

8. Do a Sexy Photo Shoot (at Home)

I have a male friend who, not one week goes by when some girl in his life isn't sending him a nude or half-nude photo. I don't know what trips me out more—that they are unsolicited or that folks are bold enough to send their coochie through the phone. Not to say that I don't have some naked pics out in the world somewhere, but I took mine back in 1995. These days, there are clouds and hackers…so yeah, no thanks.

What I would be down to do in present time (if I had a hubby) is use an old-fashioned camera to take some risqué shots. I actually read that putting up this form of erotica in your bedroom is one way to significantly improve your sex life. So, why not take a moment or two to go into your own bedroom, close the door and take a few sexy pics with your partner? Oh, and if you must use your phone, click here for privacy tips on an Android and here for privacy tips on an iPhone.

9. Create a Sex Gift Basket

Gift baskets are the best, ain't they? Surprise your partner with one that is loaded with nothing but sex-related items. You can stop by a lingerie store and get something in his favorite color (or you can make a pair of lace undies; it's easier than you think). Then stop by a liquor store for a bottle of wine (it'll make you hornier than most other forms of alcohol, especially if it's got a cherry or earthy scent) and maybe a lil' bit of Guinness beer too; word on the street is it helps men to last longer in bed. You can never go wrong with some chocolate-covered strawberries. I've also been hearing a lot about something called the Oh! Cherry Orgasm Balm (that stimulates your nipples and clitoris). Oh, and if you want to give some extra TLC by making some additional items with your own two hands, some of my faves are DIY chocolate body paint, DIY edible body butter, DIY massage candles, some DIY shaving cream (to give him a sensual shave) or (get this!) a pair of panties made entirely out of Starburst and Twizzlers candy!

10.  Celebrate “69” Annually

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It's been over 12 years since I've gotten some, but I'll tell you what—if I was in the position to be able to observe National Sex Day, I'd treat every year like it was my birthday or something! I ain't playin' either. I'd get decorations for the house, I'd bring my man a present home…shoot, I might even bake a sex cake (there is such a thing; it's called a "better than sex" cake and it's actually pretty good)!

If you're not in my position and you are able to actually get it in, but you just found out about today, do what you can tonight but plan on going big next year and then topping yourself every year after that. Life is too short and sex is too good to be overlooking moments like National Sex Day. Please, if for no other reason than I can live vicariously through you, make it a day worth celebrating—over and over…and over again. Have fun!

Featured image by Getty Images

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ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
Sign up

Featured image by Shutterstock

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