When I was pregnant, I just knew I was going to breastfeed my daughter once she arrived. But when I had a C-section 10 weeks early after being diagnosed with severe preeclampsia, I had no idea what breastfeeding really required. Every mom's story is different, but there were things I wish I would've known about breastfeeding before going into the OR (I had no clue the short-lived journey would start just a few days after).
Whether it's the power of pumping, methods to boost your milk supply, and of course getting the little one to latch, there's so much that goes into learning how to breastfeed, and it can be a bit overwhelming and tempting to give up. To help with that, we've curated a guide for you to dig in before your breastfeeding journey.
When To Start Breastfeeding
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Once you decide to breastfeed, it's vital to mentally prepare right away, because your life will change for quite a few months ahead. A couple of days after her arrival, I was still in the hospital and hadn't yet seen my baby girl when the lactation consultant wheeled in a pumping machine. I told her I wanted to ultimately breastfeed and she immediately showed me how to pump (if you have a full-term newborn, you could start breastfeeding as soon as an hour after giving birth, according to Medela). The gist is, it's vital to start as soon as possible.
How Often Should You Breastfeed?
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Breastfeeding in the first 24 hours can be a wildcard. You and your bundle of joy are working on finding a rhythm together, and each baby will be different. When your liquid gold (a.k.a. milk) makes its arrival, your newborn could eat up to 12 times a day (yes, even in the overnight hours). While it's a well-known fact that getting up to feed a baby at two in the morning every day is exhausting, this can also serve as a beautiful time for you to bond.
Breastfeeding sessions can last between 10 and 45 minutes. While your little one might not get on a schedule right away, they'll get the hang of it over time.
Does Breastfeeding Hurt?
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A rule of thumb is that breastfeeding will be uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be too painful. Fortunately, there's nipple cream that doubles as a lifesaver. While I didn't breastfeed like I hoped (ultimately, my supply was just too low but that's another story), I did pump my breasts until kingdom come, and I don't know what I would've done without nipple cream. Since everyone is different, it's best to see a lactation consultant about any concerns you have.
How Much Breastmilk Is Enough?
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It's understandable to wonder if your newborn is really getting the nutrients they need. If you're staying consistent with feeding every 2-3 hours, they should be just fine. A couple of signs that a baby isn't getting enough breastmilk include:
- Your baby not gaining weight,
- Your baby taking too little or too much,
- Latching goes beyond discomfort and is extremely painful.
Because we like to celebrate wins too, signs that a newborn is getting enough milk include:
- Your baby gaining weight,
- Regular pooping and peeing (at least 6 to 8 wet diapers a day after their fifth day of life),
- Latching every two to three hours,
- Hearing your baby swallowing while breastfeeding and seeing breast milk in their mouth,
- Your breasts could also feel softer and less full compared to before feeding.
How To Boost Your Milk Supply
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Hydrate girl! Drinking lots of water does wonders for boosting your milk supply. As new moms, it can be hard to even find time to get a sip of water, let alone enough for the day. But knowing that it can help increase your breast milk supply could be enough to stay motivated.
Other ways to increase your supply include: keep feeding on demand (every two to three hours), switching back and forth between breasts (this is especially helpful if the baby falls asleep while eating), pump between feedings, and getting as much rest as you can. There are also a few nifty products out there like lactation cookies.
Breastfeeding Vs. Formula Feeding: Which Is Better?
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Any way a mother decides to nurture her child is her decision. Once I came to terms that breastfeeding wasn't going to work out the way I hoped, I realized that #fedisbest and what really matters is that she's getting the nutrients she needs.
Breastfeeding does have undeniable benefits, from boosting a newborn's immunity to helping with brain development. But if formula feeding is your only option or just the one that works best for you, it's not a bad one. It just might not be ideal. For me, I didn't have the capacity to breastfeed, and my little one came home on a high-calorie formula. It took a while to come to terms with this being our journey and getting over the guilt of not being able to breastfeed her once she was developed enough to latch, but after almost three months of being home, she's doing just fine (and sis doesn't play about her meals).
Whatever you decide, don't give in to the pressure to go one way or the other. Know that you're doing your best and the person who knows what's best for your newborn is you.
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Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
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“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
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While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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