

Serena Williams Stopped Breastfeeding For This Reason
Next to hearing that first cry when your baby enters this world, breastfeeding your child is one of the most rewarding and beautiful experiences you may ever have as a mother.
The moment your baby finally latches on is like none other, and that reconnection you and the baby feel is priceless. And while many mothers aren't able to exclusively breastfeed due to a variety of reasons, like lack of milk production to limited maternity leave, it's one of the most natural things any woman can do.
Every woman is different and will have to make different choices for her baby, but for Serena Williams, breastfeeding was one of her priorities. The tennis star recently spoke with TIME to discuss motherhood, her return to tennis, and making time for herself in the midst of it all.
Yet another example of a woman's innate superpowers: we give life and we nourish it simply with our bodies. It's amazing that Williams was able to go through a near-death experience from complications she experienced post-delivery (including five surgeries to address the pulmonary embolism, the ruptured C-section incision, and hematoma in her abdomen), and STILL have the strength to breastfeed her daughter Olympia. As a mom that breastfed both of her kids, the act is, on one hand, incredibly soothing, and on the other, incredibly draining. You become the baby's pacifier, their sole source of food and, at times, their only means of comfort.
But for Williams, she wouldn't have it any other way. She says:
"You have the power to sustain the life that God gave her. You have the power to make her happy, to calm her. At any other time in your life, you don't have this magical superpower."
And while her leave of maternity isn't quite like the leave of the majority of mothers around the world, she still faced some of the same pressures, like deciding whether or not she would continue to breastfeed Olympia. In fact, her coach urged her to stop because it was impacting her game, but Williams resisted. As a man, there is no way her coach could understand the bond that comes with breastfeeding. This decision might have have slowed down her tennis comeback, but this time the 22-time Grand Slam champion finally was able to do something that she wanted to do, rather than please everyone else. She says:
"It's absolutely hard to take from a guy. He's not a woman, he doesn't understand that connection, that the best time of the day for me was when I tried to feed her. I've spent my whole life making everyone happy, just servicing it seems like everyone. And this is something I wanted to do."
Ultimately, she did have to make the decision to wean Olympia off of nursing in order to rededicate herself to her first baby: tennis. The process isn't as simple as replacing the breast with a bottle, and Williams even reveals that she had to have a "talk" with Olympia requesting her body back.
"I looked at Olympia, and I was like, 'Listen, Mommy needs to get her body back, so Mommy's going to stop now.' We had a really good conversation. We talked it out."
Sometimes when you become a mother, self-care falls by the wayside. Williams also recognizes that it's so easy to put yourself last once you become a mother. She says that she is learning how to balance the expectations of motherhood with her return to her career and need for time for herself. She reveals:
"Sometimes she just wants Mommy, she doesn't want anyone else. I still have to learn a balance of being there for her, and being there for me. I'm working on it. I never understood women before, when they put themselves in second or third place. And it's so easy to do. It's so easy to do."
When she returned to Wimbledon this year, there wasn't a black woman that I know who wasn't glued to their televisions that Saturday afternoon. As she played her heart out, you could feel every grunt and moment of despair even more, knowing everything she's been through. When she eventually came up short, Williams took that moment to dedicate the match to all of the other mothers out there who were watching her in awe. She says if she can do it, so can we. She revealed:
"I dedicated that to all the moms out there who've been through a lot. Some days, I cry. I'm really sad. I've had meltdowns. It's been a really tough 11 months. If I can do it, you guys can do it too."
Her return to tennis wasn't without its own round of controversy. When she beat her own sister at the 2017 Australian Open, all while two months pregnant, she was the number one seeded tennis player in the world. By the time she returned, there was no ranking reserved for arguably the most dominant female tennis player that ever lived. Williams wants to use her experience to help change these unfair tennis rules, and in doing so, she might not only change tennis' minds but the minds of employers all around the world. She told TIME:
"It would be nice to recognize that women shouldn't be treated differently because they take time to bring life into this world."
And while her return to tennis has had its share of ups and downs, Williams knows she has a lot more to prove, not only to the sport but to herself. She wants to make sure her daughter gets to witness with her own eyes, her tennis greatness and vows to keep going, even at the age of 36. She says:
"I'm not done yet, simple. My story doesn't end here."
Serena Williams is the epitome of a strong, Black woman. And while we don't all have the opportunity to win grand slams or any other championship for that matter, we can still be inspired by Williams' tenacity, ability to make decisions that are best suited for her and her family, and her unmatched drive and belief in herself.
Keep pushing towards those dreams: your story doesn't have to end once you have a baby!
To read more of her conversation with TIME, click here.
- Serena Williams reveals she stopped breastfeeding daughter to lose ... ›
- Serena Williams says she 'cried' when she stopped breastfeeding ... ›
- Serena Williams on Her Decision to Stop Breastfeeding ... ›
- Serena Williams reveals she 'cried a little bit' when she stopped ... ›
- Serena Williams on why she stopped breastfeeding, and how 'I cried ... ›
- Serena Williams opens up on decision to give up breastfeeding ›
- Serena Williams Opened Up About Why She Stopped Breastfeeding ... ›
- Serena Williams's New HBO Documentary Sparks the Breastfeeding ... ›
- Serena Williams 'Cried a Little' After Stopping Breastfeeding ... ›
- Serena Williams Says Breastfeeding Didn't Make Her Lose Weight ... ›
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Living In A New City And Feeling Nervous About Making Friends? These 6 Tips Can Help
The first big leap was moving to a new city and getting settled into my new home. The next big leap? Was finding community and belonging. Moving to a new city excited me! I looked forward to having my own apartment, decorating it, and exploring what the city had to offer. I also found excitement in the thought of meeting new people and expanding my connections. When it actually came down to it, I felt nervous. I heard that making new friends as an adult can be hard because we all have different responsibilities and schedules that may not align. I knew in order for me to really feel at home in my new city, I had to create community.
Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
Sean Anthony Eddy/ Getty Images
Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
Carlos Barquero/ Getty Images
Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Nappy/ Pexels