

No one runs a career race alone, especially one filled with wins. Whether it's a mentor, work buddy, office husband, colleague, or professor, we've all gotten great guidance from those who have either made mistakes and can tell us the real, or those who have the golden touch of achievement. Following a good piece of advice can mean the difference between leveling up or being stuck in professional purgatory longer than you needed to be.
We talked to four super-successful black women who shared the best career advice they've ever received that has helped them not only secure the bag but increase it:
Lara Adekola, Social Media Strategist
Image by Andrew Madrid
On Real Networking That Leads To Connections:
Lara Adekola has worked for the majors in publishing including Allure magazine, Teen Vogue, Ebony, and Nylon, and she's even worked in fashion for luxury retail powerhouse Bergdorf Goodman. She's also led social media strategy for brands including Fenty Beauty. Now, out on her own, she works with brands including Hyper Skin, cultivating messaging and campaigns. A confident and fashion-forward go-getter in her own right, Adekola has mastered the true art of cultivating and building relationships.
"A great piece of networking advice I received from a mentor was to always come prepared! Whether it be a potential employer or colleague, do your background research and have thoughtful questions ready. Additionally, make sure to stay up-to-date on current industry trends. It will show that you're passionate and tapped into the field versus being an outsider looking in."
Dyann Scarlett, Human Resources Business Partner, Estee Lauder
Image courtesy of Dyann Scarlett
On Bagging the Promotion:
Dyann Scarlett has built a career working for esteemed companies including Grey Group, one of the top global advertising firms serving Fortune 500 companies. Now, as a human resources leader at international beauty giant Estée Lauder, she knows what's really good about moving up the ranks and not getting stuck in a position rut at work.
"I have been with The Estée Lauder Cos for five years and have been promoted three times. I am proud of all that I have accomplished, but to say it was easy would be a lie. And I still have so much more to do. The best advice I have gotten is to always advocate for yourself and own your story. As Black women in the corporate world, we already face many setbacks and roadblocks, so it is imperative that we own our career, keep a goal in mind, and work toward it. I tell my team all that time, 'Your career is yours. I am happy to guide you and give constructive feedback, however, own your story and don't be afraid to ask questions. If you don't ask at all, you'll miss out.'"
Shante Bacon-Cius, Founder & CEO, One/35 Agency
Image courtesy of Shante Bacon
On Ensuring Your Career Lasts the Test of Time:
Shante Bacon-Cius, dubbed both a "Woman to Watch" and "influencer" by Advertising Age, has been specializing in digital strategy, brand communications and experiential marketing for the past 15 years, and her company, One/35 Agency (formerly 135th Street Agency) has a client roster that includes Google and the Oprah Winfrey Network.
"This advice came from my former boss at Def Jam, Kevin Liles: Don't get jaded, no matter what happens. The workplace is going to try you. Always wake up and come in the next day with a fresh perspective. When you allow yourself to get jaded and despondent, and you start becoming pessimistic and carrying the burden of all of the experiences that were unfair, the load gets heavier and heavier and it starts to choke the life out of all of your enthusiasm, creativity, and your ability to inspire and re-inspire yourself on a daily basis."
Saptosa Foster, Managing Partner, One/35 Agency
Image by Cherise Richards for ONE35
On Building and Leading a Team:
Saptosa Foster, the second half of the dynamic duo that heads One/35, is another leader in the communications game, having been a strategist for more than a decade. As managing partner, she oversees campaigns for their top-tier clients. The Spelman graduate has helped execute creative client visions and secured major national media placements at outlets including ABC's The Chew, CNN and People magazine. She's also led campaigns including premiere events for OWN's The Haves and the Have Nots and Love Thy Neighbor.
"When you start a business, you have a lot of big ideas, but even if you have years of experience in that industry, it is still going to be different when you're steering your own ship. Usually the things you didn't expect or didn't see coming have nothing to do with the actual delivery of the service or the making of a product. It comes in the actual mechanics of business—your legal situation, your staffing, or your capital. If you're not an expert on other realities of running a business, become an expert or gather people around you who can help support what you're trying to do."
Read more about work and career tips here.
Featured image via Lara Adekola
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
"I Was A Bad Husband": Devale Ellis On Love, Growth, & Showing Up Differently
Long before Devale Ellis became known for his radical honesty online or as an actor starring in projects like Zatima, the Brooklyn native was a young husband figuring out what it meant to lead. Now, as a father of four and husband to his wife Khadeen for 14 years (15 years on July 4), the author of We Over Me is opening up about the real-life lessons that have helped shape him into the man he is today.
In a recent episode of xoNecole's xoMAN podcast, Devale sat down for an unfiltered conversation with host Kiara Walker about marriage, masculinity, and how fatherhood ultimately saved him from himself. The former NFL player held nothing back as he spoke candidly about the work he did to unlearn outdated ideals about what it means to be a man, and how learning to be emotionally present was a catalyst for change in his 22-year relationship with his wife.
"I was a bad husband because I wasn't present emotionally."
"I know this may come off as misogynistic," Devale shared in the episode, "but I feel like it's the responsibility as a man to pay for everything." It was a belief that was shaped by his father who taught him that to provide for a woman, especially one you're creating a family with, is a non-negotiable as a man.
Devale recalled the words of his father: "What if she gets sick? What if she deals with postpartum depression? What if the child has issues and someone needs to be there? My father was like that’s your responsibility. Don’t put that on nobody else…"
"My pops don't believe in the 50/50 bullshit. My pops ain't with that," he continued. "So I took that on. Of course, now times have changed, but that’s just my way of looking at it. So since that’s my way of looking at it, I make sure every morning my wife wakes up, she don’t gotta worry about the lights coming on, you know, who’s paying the rent. But also, I make sure that I’m present."
Still, it wasn't always like that for the Dead-Ass podcast co-host. Devale admitted that at one point he identified as a "bad husband" because presence wasn't always as important to him as providing, given the "old-fashioned way" masculinity was modeled to him.
"I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally, you know what I’m saying. I wasn’t present spiritually. I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources because I was too focused on that one linear thing, ‘I gotta provide.’ And I learned that after about five years of marriage and after we had our second child that I had to be more."
“Being a man is about being consistent.”
Change doesn't happen overnight but Devale's revelation marked a turning point in his marriage and relationship with Khadeen overall. From the moment, he began to shift from the man he was used to being and evolve into who he aspired to become as a husband and a father. In doing so, the transformation became a catalyst for deeper connection and service.
He explained, "In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me..."
His outlook on what it means to be a man and masculinity as a whole also leveled up. "Being a man is about being consistent." No longer did he define masculinity as primarily providing financially for his wife and family, but it also meant providing an emotional presence, a spiritual presence, and most importantly, an understanding that leadership wasn't about control, it was about care and consideration.
Speaking of care and consideration, Devale would eventually make another choice that many men shy away from...
Choosing a vasectomy out of love for his wife
After having four sons, Devale and Khadeen once thought about having a fifth child in hopes for a daughter. But everything changed for the couple when Khadeen experienced postpartum preeclampsia. The health scare solidified their decision to be done with family planning, and although hormonal birth control was on the table, Devale didn't want to put that responsibility on Khadeen who began experiencing iron deficiency from heavy bleeding and blood clots.
"I was like, 'Bro, so I almost lost you twice, you've had three natural births, two at the house, okay, this is my time now to take over as a man and say, 'I'll get a vasectomy.' Because I don't want you to have to deal with birth control so let me be the one on birth control."
Despite the stigma and concerns of having a vasectomy, which he goes into detail about on the xoMAN podcast, the move proved to be yet another example of Devale's preferred method of leadership, one where he strives to choose empathy over ego.
"Fatherhood made me a better person."
Similarly to the way he beams when talking about Khadeen, there's a gentleness that undercuts the more serious aspects of his personality when he speaks about his sons: Jackson, Kairo, Kaz, and Dakota. In the episode, the former athlete shared, "Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do life all over."
In regards to being a father, he shared that "fatherhood made me a better person," which is the heart of the title of his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself. As he raises four Black sons into Black Kings, Devale shared that he is mindful of the legacy he seeks to leave behind. "A part of Black masculinity to me is showing kids that they matter. That they deserve to be loved."
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by Ray Tamarra/Soul B Photos/Shutterstock