You may know Lee Barney's face from the recent thirst trap-themed commercial bestowed upon us by Shea Moisture.
Or you may remember him when he made his first modeling debut in 2016 thanks to Marvin Bienaime who saw fit to capture the budding model Lee in all of his bearded glory. Whichever way he was introduced, you better believe he left a lasting impression. And it wasn't just his blessed facial features or his chiseled frame that made us want to take a second, more fixated look. This Pennsylvania native is a devout family man who is blessed to be surrounded by a pair of loving and supporting parents and a gang of lively siblings.
Lee knows the importance of getting and staying on the right track, especially when it comes to achieving your dreams and making the most out of tough environments. Growing up in Erie, he knew he had to set a positive example, not just for his family or himself, but also for his son. He was able to secure a scholarship playing college football at Johnson C. Smith University where he obtained his Bachelor's degree in English. He would later have a short stint in the NFL but that proved to only be the beginning for Lee.
Since then, he's been able to secure modeling gigs for multiple brands and has even graced the runway for New York Fashion Week. Now, he's set his sights on perfecting his craft and pursuing other creative outlets, such as acting with a couple projects set to film soon.
We got the chance to catch up with Lee to discuss the importance of positive male role models, his ideal partner, and how it feels being “Bearded Bae."
xoNecole: Congratulations on the Shea Moisture commercial. How'd that come about?
Lee Barney: Thank you! Actually, a photographer ended up messaging me and asking me if I'd be interested in doing it. So, I flew out for it. I get there and the set up was real dope. The guys were really cool. We were all just kind of kicking it, you know? The way we were filming it, I didn't think it was going to turn out the way it did. But it was really cool, I liked it a lot.
Now you were fortunate enough not to experience an absentee parent, but there's been this longstanding stigma surrounding black men and their presence or lack of, in the home. How do you feel about that?
I think there's a shift happening of more black fathers wanting to be in their child's life. You know we see what type of world we're living in. We can see that we're not respected. So, I think more black men want to be around their children to tell them they're loved, that they have the same rights as everybody else, and that they're just as good as anybody else. I love driving down the street seeing a black father out with his son or daughter, just enjoying life together. It's a beautiful thing.
There's definitely been this whole sort of movement dedicated to showcasing and emphasizing the importance of positive black family dynamics, specifically when it comes to the father and child. You have a son, so how important do you think that is?
It's very important. Personally, I think it's important not just for what it says about black men, but also what it says about black women. The men need to be seen with their children and need to play an active role in their child's lives. I love being able to go and get my little man and hang out with him, I love it. And I know sometimes we as black men are hard to deal with. It's some dudes out here who think just because they're doing right by the child, they can talk how they want to the child's mother. That's not right, but the fact that the mother still allows him to be a part of their kid's life shows how strong they are.
Black women sometimes let a lot of stuff slide just to make amends and that just really speaks to how strong they can be.
In addition to “strong," how else would you describe black women?
They are magical and wondrous. Black women make you feel so much better about your life. They have a different insight than anyone else in the world. They understand the world in ways that no one else can. Like, what would the world be without women in general but specifically, black women? It's dope when you meet that one that understands what you're going through and you can just go through life with them.
They are magical and wondrous. Black women make you feel so much better about your life.
Speaking of meeting that “one," how do you go about dating now?
I don't try to find or look for anything. I like for things to happen. But I do feel like it doesn't take anything to slide in someone's DMs, I don't like that. Like, if you get turned down, you can just go about your business, you know? (laughs) But to actually see a woman, approach her, get her name, and figure out more about her, I still like that. That's usually how I go about it.
What would make you approach a woman?
She has to have the right vibe to her, like this aura. She's got to draw me in. There's got to be something about her in the way that she carries herself.
If you could create your ideal partner, what characteristics would they have?
I love women who know how to laugh and are God-fearing women. And I like spontaneous women. I don't like to be bored and I'm very spontaneous too so… On a physical note, I like brown-skinned women since my color is a little darker. They just do something to me (laughs). My mother is brown-skinned, my sister. I love them.
Are you currently dating?
I'm dating, but I am getting to know someone. (laughs)
What are some of the things you really hope to have in your next relationship?
She has to have her own. If we were building something together and it didn't work, I don't want to feel bad that I left you and you didn't have anything. Now, if you're with me if you're mine? You won't ever need your purse. I got you. I'm a gentleman. I open doors. I still say yes ma'am, no ma'am. And she has to cook! I can cook too so, we can share that together, but that's kind of huge for me. (laughs)
What are some of the major life lessons that you've learned so far?
Be patient. I thought I would have learned that playing sports, but life is really about being patient. And having a plan. If you just have this dream but you don't have any goals leading to it, then all it will be is a dream. I had dreams and a plan to play pro football and I accomplished that, but it wouldn't have happened if I didn't map out what I needed to do. So, have a plan, be patient, and just be yourself throughout all of it.
On being dubbed “Bearded Bae": It's dope to actually have people look at us in that light but I'm just chilling. It's more fun seeing the other guys turn up. It's cool to see them and for all of us have that exposure. There was one guy on the set; he was real chill when we were there. But now? Oh, he's a rock star on the 'Gram. (laughs)
On his Woman Crushes: Sevyn Streeter, Karrueche, and Ryan Destiny are gorgeous.
On the worst date he's ever been on: I went to the movies with this girl. When we met up, she was 20 minutes late and I like the previews, so I missed all of that. So, when we're inside, the movie has already started and the whole time her phone keeps going off. So, she'll check it, text back or ignore the call then put it down, and she keeps doing it. So, I asked her could she turn her phone light down just to, you know, kind of clue her in to put her phone away. But she ended up walking out to take a phone call and she was gone for like 10 minutes. So, I got up, I saw her outside and just told her bye. I felt disrespected, it was crazy. (laughs)
On 3 things people would be surprised to know: I perform poetry. I like the challenge of keeping someone's attention just with your words. Also, I love to eat (laughs). I'll eat everything, seafood is probably my favorite though. And I can dance! A lot of people don't really expect that either. They see the muscles and all of that, but I got them moves too. (laughs)
For more of Lee Barney, follow him on Instagram.
Shanelle Harris is a Southern-based freelance writer & fashion social media curator. When she's not in class or writing, you can catch her quoting Drake lyrics and spreading #BlackGirlMagic one outfit post at a time. You can follow her on IG: @random__nelle.
When we talk via Zoom in late August, Lindsay, 38, has just returned from a lunch date with a friend, the type of midday social outing she’d never had time for previously. In a week, she’ll be heading to Europe for an Eat, Pray, Love trip. It’s the first time she’s had time to go to Europe in five years.
“You ask me what I have time to do? Take care of me,” she says, beaming.
In the past six years, Lindsay has made a lot of changes. After becoming the first Black woman to lead ABC’s Bachelorette dating series in 2017, she fell in love with Bryan Abasolo, the man she chose on the show, and married him. Enamored with the world of entertainment but also accustomed to the stability that being an attorney provided her, she returned to practicing law in her native Dallas, Texas, while pursuing media opportunities on the side.
For a time, Lindsay would fly herself to Connecticut to co-host ESPN’s Football Frenzy radio show. The role was perfect for the Dallas Cowboys fan and sports fanatic who majored in sports management and once dreamed of becoming an agent. In 2019, when she finally felt she’d saved enough money and made enough connections, she made the leap and left the legal profession behind, determined to bet on her entertainment dreams.
Working as an on-air correspondent for Extra was one of Lindsay’s first big roles as a full-time media personality. In this job, she interviewed celebrities such as Halle Bailey and Anthony Anderson. She also notably conducted the controversial interview with Bachelor host Chris Harrison that subsequently led to his departure from the franchise. After Harrison told Lindsay he felt people needed to have “grace” for a contestant who had attended an “Old South” party, Lindsay publicly announced her plans to distance herself from the series.
Today, she cites changes in Extra’s leadership and her responsibilities as the reason for her recent departure after three years. “I just didn’t fit within the new regime,” she reveals to xoNecole.
Lindsay is currently focusing her energy work-wise on her two podcasts with The Ringer Podcast Network, the Higher Learningshow with Van Lathan, and Morally Corrupt. Despite the extremely different subjects – Higher Learning touches on race and politics while Morally Corrupt finds Lindsay commenting on her favorite Bravo reality shows – she gushes when speaking about both, calling podcasting “the most liberating thing you can do.”
On Higher Learning, she’s challenged by her co-host, Lathan, to think in new ways. She’s regularly in conversation with prominent figures such as Tracee Ellis Ross and Billy Porter.
Lindsay, a “Bravoholic” whose favorite Real Housewives franchise is Potomac and whose favorite Housewife is Nene Leakes, is no less passionate about Morally Corrupt, even if the subject matter is much lighter. “I’ve always loved reality TV because it was such an escape from my real world. Part of me admired people who could put themselves out there in a way that I believed I never could, until I went on reality TV,” Lindsay says.
Courtesy of Rachel Lindsay
The podcast host says she never intended to find love when she went on The Bachelor, and she was surprised when she was asked to lead season 13 of The Bachelorette. Going from viewer to reality TV star quickly opened her eyes to the demands of being a public figure. After receiving initial criticism from viewers about choosing and marrying Bryan Abasolo, she realized she wanted to become more protective of certain aspects of her personal life.
“I quickly learned that we had to protect what we had, and stop trying to prove it to other people and convince people to know what we knew to be true,” she says. “I wish I could share more of my relationship. But the moment you do that, you have to continue to provide more and you have to continue to answer.”
In many ways, Lindsay benefited from being on a show like The Bachelorette, where the contestants are confined to a limited environment over a temporary amount of time. She says she doesn’t think she could ever be on a reality show where she’s expected to reveal all aspects of her life constantly. In fact, she says if she ever had pregnancy news or updates about her relationship with Abasolo, she wouldn’t make a big public announcement.
Since walking away from The Bachelor franchise, the former Bachelor Happy Hour host says she’s been approached to participate in recent seasons, specifically this year’s season with Black lead, Charity Lawson. Lindsay says she ultimately declined to participate. “I just started thinking I can have a relationship with Charity – whose number I do have and I have talked to – outside of the show. I don’t need to come on television to put that out there for other people,” she says.
Reflecting on her life today, Lindsay is trying to learn the benefits of being still. She’s not planning to do any on-air correspondent work for the time being, and she’s not planning to release another book, the followup to the collection of essays Miss Me with That or the fictional Real Love.
As her 40th birthday approaches in a couple of years, she’s been thinking a lot about the popular quote, “You are, right now, as young as you'll ever be again” from the FX drama Fleishman Is in Trouble. If she does start on a new creative project, it might delve into this notion, she says. “I think I could do something in that space about adulthood and getting older and maybe questioning things in life because I think we all do it,” she tells xoNecole.
Lindsay is not rushing the process, though. For now, she’s remembering to rest and renew.
“We'll see what comes out of this state that I'm in.”
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Featured image courtesy of Rachel Lindsay
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
