The Skincare Routine That Got My Cystic Acne All The Way Together
In About Face, xoNecole gets the 411 on IGers who give us #skincaregoals on the daily. Here they break down their beauty routines on the inside and out, as well as the highly coveted products that grace their shelves and their skin.
For the past two years, I've been at xoNecole telling y'all all of my business and I don't regret any of it because you are my good sisters and I love you. You've never known me to not keep it real with you, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't admit that I've been keeping a secret: I just got out of a toxic relationship.
No matter how hard I tried, how much time I invested, or how much money I spent, my skin has relentlessly been disrespecting me and it was upsetting me and my homegirls. My trouble began about six months after relocating from Louisiana to Colorado, and soon, my acne got so bad that I was too embarrassed to be seen in public without makeup.
Pretty Honore/xoNecole
Holidays, birthday parties, and congratulatory gatherings all took a backseat to my cystic acne, which seemed to only get worse by the day, and after spending hundreds of dollars on products that I read about online that didn't work, I felt hopeless, insecure, and alone. It wasn't until this year when I decided to visit an aesthetician for the first time, who gave me all the tea on exactly how I was sabotaging my own face.
According to her, along with using products with pore-clogging ingredients, my fabric softener and B12 pills may have also been the culprits of my cystic conundrum. Together, we formulated a skincare routine that has helped keep my cystic acne all the way under control and my self-esteem on 10.
I could sit here and tell you that the secret to true beauty is confidence, but it's hard to have that when you have a skincare routine that's working against you.
Scroll below for the skincare routine that is helping me say goodbye to cystic acne and kick hyperpigmentation's ass one day at a time:
My earliest beauty memory...
"My late, maternal grandmother from Baton Rouge is responsible for my earliest beauty memory. I remember getting ready for bed with her at night as a child, and after we changed into our silky pajamas, she would always sprinkle Estée Lauder Beautiful Perfumed Body Powder on her chest and the bedsheets."
"At the time, I didn't grasp that the special bra that she removed before bed was the result of a mastectomy, but she had a quiet confidence about her that confirmed that she was special and her scented bed sheets made me feel special, too."
"I also remember applying liquid eyeliner to my bottom eyelid at one point and… yikes."
For my skincare routine in the AM...
Pretty Honore/xoNecole
"For my cleanser, I use Face Reality Mandelic Face and Body Wash, or Nolaskinsential Clarifying Cleansing Foam if I'm feeling extra dry, and rinse with cold water. I tone using Face Reality Sal-C Toner, which also works as a great exfoliant, and Thayers Witch Hazel. I hydrate and moisturize using Nolaskinsentials Hyaluronic H2O Creme, which seems to be getting my hyperpigmentation all the way together. For my serums, I'm currently using Face Reality Mandelic Serum and Nolaskinsentials Brightening C Serum. Last but certainly not least, I add a layer of Black Girl Sunscreen for the ultimate UV protection. While some skin experts say it's best to stick to one skincare system, I've found that my skin responds best to a special mix of products from two or three brands."
My morning routine looks like...
"For the most part, I depend on the SAVERS morning routine to keep me focused and grounded throughout the day, but things don't always go as planned. If I oversleep or just feel 'off' in the mornings, I call my mom, listen to a sermon, or watch a Ted Talk to get my mind right. I've struggled with IBS since I was 16 and have major anxiety in the mornings but I found that switching out my caramel machiatto for peppermint tea has been effective AF."
For my skincare routine in the PM...
Pretty Honore/xoNecole
"My skincare routine at night is the same except I eliminate sunscreen and add in Face Reality Acne Med 2.5% three to four times a week. I rarely wear makeup, but when I do, I make sure it's completely removed before bed using Garnier SkinActive Micellar Cleansing Water All-in-1 and Equate Sensitive Skin Face Wipes from Walmart (they are the only ones I've found that don't make my skin feel sticky). When I'm in the mood for masking, I use vinegar to create a DIY Aztec Clay Mask or take a few minutes to apply Nolaskinsential Pumpkin Enzyme Mask."
How the seasons change my skin and routine...
"Living in Denver has been extremely taxing on my skin and my bank account. I frequently switch up my skincare routine to coordinate with the weather, which can be difficult when you experience all four seasons in a day. During the summer, I lighten up on the oils and serums and amp up my cleanser game. During the winter, I spend all of my coins on moisturizers and serums that cater to my combination skin type."
My go-to makeup look consists of...
"While learning to manage my fussy skin, I've discovered that less is more when developing a makeup routine. While I used to spend hours blending a full-face, I later found that a low-maintenance, easily removable beat is perfect for hiding blemishes and adding a natural glow. When I do use foundation, Fenty Beauty Pro Filt'r Soft Matte Longwear Foundation is the only product I can count on to give me full coverage, but I feel like Bareminerals BarePro Performance Wear Liquid Foundation is lighter and better for my skin.
"I usually opt-out of foundation altogether and apply Fenty Beauty Pro Filt'r Instant Retouch Concealer to my dark spots and under my eyes, using Tarte Cosmetics Rainforest Of The Sea 4-in-1 Primer and Setting Spray to keep it in place and Fenty Beauty Killawatt Highlighter in Trophy Wife for a shimmery glow. Before I begin my brows, I set them with Benefit Cosmetics 24-Hour Brow Setter. I bought Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Pencil during Ulta's 21 Days Of Beauty Sale and although I'm normally a pomade girl, I can totally believe the hype. As for my eyeshadow, I love Tarte Cosmetics Rainforest of The Sea Limited Edition Palette (which I also use for highlight and blush), but I recently ordered The Matte Book from The Crayon Case and it's slowly but surely becoming a personal favorite."
What self-care looks like to me...
"Alexa, play 'Mary Jane' by Rick James. As a workaholic, self-care can feel like a chore, but I know that it's necessary, so nevertheless, I persist. Binge-watching a sappy sitcom and playing The Sims while masking my ass off sounds like a perfect day to me."
How I approach beauty from the inside-out...
"My mom always told me, 'Pretty is as pretty does,' and I've carried that with me. I look good when I feel good and I feel good when I'm being kind––both to myself and others. Along with being mindful of the way I treat others, I approach beauty from the inside-out by managing my gut health. Living with chronic stomach issues is a pain, but as much as I want to eat junk food and cheese all day, my digestive system isn't having any of it. The way I eat affects my mood, my energy level, and even my skin, so I have to be intentional about my choices."
How my beauty routine changes when I travel...
"#MarieKondoTaughtMe that one woman's trash is another woman's travel container and I felt that in my spirit. I save old bottles from sample-sized skincare products to meet all of my skincare needs on-the-go."
To keep up with me, follow me on Instagram @PrettyHonore!
Shop Pretty Honore's Beauty Staples:
Featured image by @PrettyHonore for xoNecole.com.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images