

With all of the magazines and TV commercials touting the latest skincare product, it's easy to believe that a jar of miracle cream will solve all of your skin issues. And like a true skincare and product junkie, I've definitely bought into my fair share of gimmick and hype. No doubt about it, products can definitely help, but for me, nothing is more important than knowing the science behind my skin, and using that knowledge to get my glow on, for real.
I've struggled on and off with adult onset acne since my mid-twenties, but by far my worst experience was when I moved to Vietnam almost two years ago. I had painful, cystic acne breakouts that would not go away. I had tried everything, and my skin just seemed to get worse. Around the time that I'd pretty much resigned myself to having awful skin again, I read a blog post by Kerry from Skin and Tonics. In her post, she discussed how she eliminated her acne and skin sensitivity by balancing her skin's pH. I researched, and decided I would give this whole balancing my pH thing a try.
We've all heard about pH in school, but as a refresher, the pH (or the potential of hydrogen) is a measure of how acidic or alkaline a solution is, on a scale from 0 to 14. Water has a pH of 7, so it's neutral. Anything below 7 is acidic, and anything above 7 is alkaline, or basic. The pH of your skin should be between 4.5-5.5, but really the goal is to have a skin pH of 5.5. This is important because a lot of us use products that completely raise the pH of our skin, which can result in irritated, hypersensitive, acne prone, or dry skin.
How do you know if your skin's pH is a mess? It's pretty easily determined just by looking. Skin with a balanced pH is smooth, plump, and slightly dewy, not oily. If your skin is too basic or alkaline, it'll look dry, oily (typically at the same time!), and you're more than likely to be suffering from some sort of breakout. If you want to be completely sure, please see a physician who can test your pH for you.
Our skin has a protective layer called the acid mantle. It's a thin, slightly acidic and protects you from bacteria, pollution, and other toxins that can penetrate the skin. When your acid mantle has a too high pH, it can cause major harm and damage to your skin. Like I said earlier, the best pH for your skin is a 5.5. Anything higher causes your skin to stop being effective at defending itself against bacteria, allowing them to penetrate the skin, causing breakouts.
Diet, the environment, smoking, and age can all contribute to your skin's unbalanced pH, but usually people have acid mantle disturbance because of their cleanser. Most commercial cleansers and soaps have a pH that is entirely too high. Ingredients such as sodium laurel sulfate (or SLS), a common foaming agent in most cleansers, have a pH of 9! When you wash your face, does it feel dry, stripped, and too clean? Not good. Your cleanser is likely too basic and is causing damage. Using a cleanser with a high pH basically washes off your acid mantle, leaving you wide open for a host of problems. Long-term use of damaging, high pH cleansers can prevent your skin from maintaining its ideal pH. This is how people can end up with perpetually dry, oily, acne-prone, or hypersensitive skin.
Armed with my new knowledge, I stopped using my problematic cleansers and switched to using low pH cleansers only. And as miracles would have it, my skin cleared up. Once my skin cleared, I started using acid treatments, and incorporating oils into my skincare routine. I haven't had a single major breakout since last year. I don't have skin sensitivity of any kind, and my skin is plump, dewy, and smooth!
So how can you balance your skin's pH?
Use the Right Cleanser
Ditch the harsh soaps and chose mild cleansers with a pH of 5.5. My favorites are the su:m37 miracle rose cleansing stick, acwell bubble free balancing pH cleanser, and the CeraVe hydrating cleanser.
Check the Ingredients
Ingredients like baking soda and lemon may seem to be helping your skin, but in reality, both are potentially damaging. Baking soda has a pH of 9, and lemons have a pH of 2. Frequent use of either can cause damage to your acid mantle, sometimes permanently changing your skin's pH. I used to be an avid baking soda fan, and I definitely don't use it anymore.
Get Tested
Test the pH of your current skincare products. You can find testing strips pretty much anywhere, but these on Amazon come highly recommended. If your products are above 6, it's probably wise to find other options.
Add A Little Acid
Incorporate mild acid treatments that can help make your skin more acidic. As I mentioned in my previous article, I'm a huge fan of AHA products. If you're into the natural skincare route, using diluted apple cider vinegar as a toner is a great option as well.
Keep It Greasy (With Natural Oils)
Use oils in your skincare routine. Oils are my life. I cleanse with them, add them to my existing moisturizers, or use them alone. My skin always looks super radiant the day after I use oils!
Balancing my skin's pH has been absolutely crucial in eliminating my acne and keeping me acne free. I'm so glad I made the switch! Now go forth, and get your glow on!
As a disclaimer, I am not a doctor or a medical professional. I'm just a woman who loves skincare, and wants to share my tips and tricks on what has worked for me personally. Please see your physician or dermatologist before beginning any new skincare regimen.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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