

Growing up I was a skinny minnie and an anemic. I vaguely remember the doctor prescribing this liquid form of iron and some Flintstone multivitamins so taking supplements were a crucial part of my childhood. It wasn't that I was a picky eater, though. I ate all of my meats, fruits and most vegetables – like what kid eats asparagus and brussels sprouts – and my family was all about that well-balanced meal life. But later, I assumed my food was lacking some nutrients because my folks' definition of "done" was deep-fried and overcooked.
As an adult living on my own, I made an effort to be more conscious of choosing and preparing foods that would maximize my nutrient intake so that I didn't have to rely on supplements. But somewhere in my 30s, I learned that sometimes our bodies still don't absorb enough nutrients due to age, limitations or certain health conditions that get a little selfish and consume what vitamins and nutrients we already have.
Take vitamin D, for example. According to Healthline, vitamin D is very difficult to get from diet alone, especially if you get infrequent sunlight and have dark skin. In fact, based on a 2011 study, 82.1% of African-Americans are vitamin D-deficient.
And do you know what else disproportionately affects African-Americans, specifically women? Fibroids. At age 38, I had an iron-deficiency so great from fibroids that I had to quickly increase my hemoglobin level before I underwent surgery if I wanted to avoid a blood transfusion midway through the procedure. Liver, spinach and all the medium-done steaks weren't going to do it.
Needless to say, my daily regimen during adulthood was tiny red iron tablets and Vitamin D gummies.
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I couldn't help but wonder a) how many Black women are taking at least vitamin D and iron supplements and b) what other vitamins do we lack and should be supplementing. I discovered that Black women may potentially be low on not only Vitamin D and iron but also vitamins A, B, C, E and K, calcium and folic acid. So I reached out to several women to inquire about their specific vitamin regimen, including two nutritionists, particularly to find out what vitamins Black women should absolutely have in their medicine cabinets.
I asked both Danielle Smiley-Daniel, a public health nutritionist and soon-to-be registered dietician nutritionist (RDN) based in the Hartford, CT, area, and plant-based public health specialist Chelsea Williams in Los Angeles for guidance. Danielle's immediate rule-of-thumb is food first and supplements second. Therefore, we shouldn't automatically turn to vitamins as an easy replacement.
"It would be ideal to get most of your vitamins and minerals from whole food sources but you cannot always do so," says Danielle. "I view supplements as a way to fill the gap with the nutrients your intake does not fulfill."
However, both women stress the importance of consulting with your primary care provider before implementing any vitamin and mineral supplement regimen. Popping a regular ole multivitamin or a sea moss capsule may seem harmless but they should be treated like any other prescribed medication that comes with a list of potential side effects, especially since some supplements can interfere with whatever you're already taking. It needs to be personalized to fit your current lifestyle and medical history.
"Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all supplement routine," Chelsea says. "This is due to individual health conditions – for example, pregnancy, anemia, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. Additionally, women [need] to be cognizant of any contraindications with any medications they may be taking, along with the proper dosage."
And even time of day. Some vitamins and supplements may need to be taken later in the day depending on what you're taking in the morning.
I chatted with six women – including Danielle the public health nutritionist – ranging in ages from 29 to 43 about what was in their vitamin cabinets. Their vitamins are mostly prescribed but some were added based on the women's own research. Here's what they take:
Disclaimer: xoNecole is in no way recommending adding any of the below mentioned vitamins. We are simply providing information as a way to enlighten and inform. Please consult your doctor before adding any supplements to your diet.
Martinique, 29
Courtesy of Martinique Swan
"I take Vitamin D3 for deficiency, biotin for hair, skin and nails, iron for anemia, black seed oil for adult asthma symptoms and my immune system, ashwagandha and CBD for anxiety and chlorella as a multivitamin since it's a superfood and has a lot of nutrients. I also take elderberry, zinc and sea moss for my immune system."
Krystal, 30
Courtesy of Krystal Layne
"I take vitamins C, D and D3 as well as iron and zinc. I started taking vitamin C and zinc to support my immune system. I didn't start taking vitamin D or D3 because I was deficient but my doctor did recommend it. I take vitamin D because I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Vitamin D is the sunlight vitamin that will increase my energy and mood. Vitamin D3 supports my immune system especially with COVID-19 and since I'm an essential worker. My doctor also recommended Vitamin D along with iron pills because I'm anemic. And I also take omega 3s for high cholesterol, oregano oil supplements for additional immune support and a Lydia Pinkham supplement for menstrual support."
Spencer, 33
Courtesy of Spencer St. Fleur
"I started taking vitamins to care for my overall health and wellness and provide the extra nutrition/nourishment that foods don't always provide since they're mostly overprocessed. I take multivitamins, vitamins C and D that my doctor prescribed, fish oil, black seed oil (three days per week since it's so terrible), sea moss gel, iron, zinc and probiotics for gut and feminine wellness."
Mia, 35
Courtesy of Mia Tatum
"I take supplements based on my own research and trial and error. I take ashwagandha for anxiety, astaxanthin for cognitive health, zinc for my immune system, a probiotic for gut health and B12 for energy. When I have PMS, I take Vitamin E because it helps a lot with breast tenderness. I also have a subscription to Care/of, which is convenient and offers a quiz you can take for recommendations."
Yemisi, 41
Courtesy of Yemisi Gisanrin
"My doctor recommended Vitamin D for bone health because my count was really low, folic acid for reproductive health and omega 3 for heart health and lower cholesterol."
Danielle, 43
Courtesy of Danielle Smiley-Daniel
"My supplement regimen includes Vitamin D to boost my immune system and maintain strong bones, probiotics to improve gut health and decrease gastrointestinal bloat and omega 3 to help prevent heart disease, stroke and cancer."
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I write about lifestyle and women's health and wellness. When I'm not in front of a computer screen crafting stories, I'm in a kitchen crafting cocktails. Follow me on the 'gram @teronda.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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