

I don’t care what article on hair care you read — if it’s worth anything at all when it comes to the topic of how to prevent breakage and other forms of hair damage, it’s going to mention that your tresses need hydration. There is no way that it can endure the manipulation of styling and the heat that comes from certain styling tools any other way.
So, why is it that, when it comes to our hair — Black hair — maintaining moisture is such a constant struggle (especially the tighter our curls are)? The science behind it is that the curlier our hair is, the harder it becomes for the sebum from our scalp to cover our strands from root to tip (which is a great reminder to keep your scalp moisturized, by the way). However, as someone with high porosity hair who has found maintaining hydration to probably be my greatest hair challenge (as far as length retention goes), I think that failing to do certain things to our hair regularly plays as much of a vital role.
Today, let’s look into 10 things that you can do — things that I’ve personally done and continue to do — that can keep your hair full of moisture which will ultimately keep it strong and hella healthy.
1. Master Your Hair’s Porosity
I’m telling you from firsthand experience that, until/unless you learn what your hair’s porosity is (which is its ability to maintain water), you will never truly master how to keep it moisturized. My hair? It’s high porosity because my cuticles are open; this means that, although my locks take in hydration easily, I lose it almost just as fast.
"Low porosity" means that cuticles are so tightly bound that it’s hard to get hydration in; however, once moisture penetrates, it remains longer than it does in high-porosity hair. "Normal porosity" speaks to there being a pretty good balance.
Keeping all of this in mind, if you keep trying to get moisture into your hair without knowing its porosity, I can promise you that you are going to unnecessarily stress yourself (and probably your hair) out. So, if you’re not sure what yours is (for the record, porosity can also change due to things like chemical treatments and even age), this video here offers up DIY tests that are pretty effective and can help you understand your hair needs better.
2. Upgrade Your Deep Conditioning Practices
I’ve shared in other articles that it took years for me to start really deep conditioning my hair. I don’t mean just slapping on some conditioner, letting it sit for 5-10 minutes, and then going on about my day. I mean finding the kind of deep conditioner that would complement my hair type (including its porosity) and then allowing it to penetrate my hair shaft for no less than 30-45 minutes. Over the past couple of years, though, I’ve upped the ante even more.
Now I create my own cocktail of conditioners (hair bonding products and a hair oil like avocado or rosemary oil included), apply a generous amount of the blend to my damp hair, and then sit with a hair steaming bonnet on my head for at least an hour. I’m telling you, if you’ve never steamed your hair before, it is a real game-changer!
Not only does it help your hair conditioner to deeply penetrate your strands, it also helps to unclog the hair follicles on your scalp, increase hair elasticity, works to enhance your natural curl pattern, and prepares your hair to take in whatever products you plan to add to your hair after rinsing your deep conditioner out (like a leave-in conditioner; more on that later). So, whether you get a fancy steamer, a steam bonnet or you decide to stand in a hot shower for a while, always make steaming a part of your conditioning process — if you want more moisture, that is.
3. Use Water-Based Products
Reading labels on the back of hair products is so important if you want your locks to thrive. That said, when it comes to retaining hair moisture, it’s essential that you go for products that are water-based; this starts with ones that have water listed as the first ingredient on the label. When hair products have a lot of water in them, that helps to reduce dryness which can lead to breakage. For starters, you can find a list of some of the best water-based leave-in conditioners here.
4. Avoid Alcohol-Based Ones (Well, Some of Them)
Here’s the thing about hair products that have alcohol in them: some are bad, and others are actually pretty beneficial. As far as Cetearyl alcohol, lauryl alcohol, and benzyl alcohols (which are more of a hair product preservative than anything), these are helpful because they can actually help to soften and hydrate your hair. What I’m talking about here is ethanol, SD alcohol 40, propanol, isopropyl, and propyl types of alcohol; these are problematic because not only do they have the (strong) potential to dry out your hair on their own, but they also tend to strip your strands of the natural sebum that your scalp produces.
The bottom line here is to read the labels to see which type of alcohol is in the product that you’re considering. Also, even when it comes to the “good” ones, pay attention to how your hair feels 2-3 days after applying them. If it’s brittle or sticky, stop using it; it’s not helping.
5. Drink More Water
No matter how much water you put on your hair, you’re still going to need to be well-hydrated within. In fact, did you know that between 25-30 percent of your hair’s weight is made up of water? This means that, although it’s still being researched if dehydration is connected to hair loss, what you can know for sure is water helps to increase blood circulation to your scalp, helps your hair follicles to absorb nutrients, keeps your scalp hydrated, and water also helps to prevent brittleness which reduces breakage.
So yes, make sure that you get plenty of water into your system daily. Oh, and if you happen to be a tea lover, check out “10 Teas That Are Great For The Fall Season — As Far As Hair Growth Is Concerned” for ones that can hydrate your strands while benefitting them in other ways too.
6. Eat Fatty Acids and Antioxidants More Often
Speaking of “moisturized insides,” I can also vouch for the fact that adding certain foods to your diet can help keep your hair hydrated. For instance, did you know that fatty acids make up a whopping 85 percent of your hair’s lipid content? This is relevant because lipids help to maintain your hair’s strength and manageability not to mention its thickness, growth, and moisture. All of this is essential because you need things that are going to help you handle the manipulation that comes with styling your hair.
Antioxidants are good as well because they will help to keep your scalp healthy, reduce hair shedding, fight off free radicals, help to prevent UV damage (including how the sun can dry out your hair), slow down premature graying, increase circulation to your scalp and yes, maintain moisture. Foods that are full of fatty acids include salmon, kidney beans, cashews, peanuts, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, and egg yolks. Foods that are loaded with antioxidants include berries, artichokes, red cabbage, spinach, okra, collards and plums.
7. Try an ANTI-Humectant
You’re probably familiar with what a humectant is; it’s something that pulls moisture from the hair. As far as ones that are good for your hair,honey is a humectant that immediately comes to mind. Okay, so what is an anti-humectant? It's a product that will prevent moisture from leaving your hair once the moisture is already present. Therefore, if you’re someone who loses hair hydration a lot, an anti-humectant can be a real lifesaver for you (especially on the days when it’s hella humid and you want to reduce the appearance of frizz).
For the record, since anti-humectants include things like silicones and beeswax, if you’ve ever used either one of those, you probably already know that it’s best to take the “less is more” approach. Still, if you need some assistance keeping moisture around, an anti-humectant can make that happen for you. Check out a list of these types of hair productshere andhere.
8. Try Some Monoi Oil
If you’re not familiar with monoi oil, it’s an oil that comes from soaking the petals of Tahitian gardenias into coconut oil. I’m such a fan of it that I actually shouted the oil out in another hair care article a few years back (“What Your Natural Hair Needs This Spring Season”). Although it does things like help to strengthen your hair and reduce frizz, one of my favorite perks is monoi oil also helps to reduce split ends — and since split ends are the result of hair that is dry and brittle, well, you can see why you should consider giving it a shot; especially if length retention is your (ultimate) goal.
9. Make Leave-In Conditioner a Part of Your Nightly Hair Routine
Speaking of taking care of your ends, since that is the oldest part of your hair, you need to “baby” them more than any other part of your locks; otherwise, they are prone to breakage, and length will never be something that you will see much of. One way to do that is to give your ends more hydration by applying a leave-in conditioner to your ends no less than 2-3 times a week, whether you’re someone who rolls up your hair, braids, or twists it. My favorite for a while now has been Mielle’s Pomegranate & Honey Leave-In Conditioner. Some other options that you might want to check out are located here, here, and here.
10. Wrap Your Hair Up at Night
Y’all, please don’t underestimate the importance of wrapping your hair up at night — not just to avoid the friction that tossing and turning can cause (which can ultimately lead to breakage) but because it really is true that your hair can dry out if you are lying down for hours on end without some satin or silk on your head to protect it from your bedding. Listen, I have had seasons when I didn’t wrap my hair up and seasons when I did — when it comes to retaining moisture, the difference is like night and day whenever I do take out five extra minutes to do the step, I just talked about and then to cover it up with something that won’t absorb all of my efforts.
BONUS: Regularly Use a Finishing Spray
If you want your hair to have more sheen to it, you probably already know that oil sheen can make that happen for you. Okay, but what if you want to lightly condition your hair throughout the day? Then what? Something that I am a huge fan of is finishing and conditioning sprays. They tend to be light, they help to keep the cuticles of my strands smooth and my hair soft, and they are able to add movement (like when it comes to blowouts), too. Plus, they help my hair to feel moisturized. That’s why, I absolutely could not close this article out without shouting out the brand that I use: BB Smooth Sheen Conditioning Spray with Shea Butter.
To be honest with you, I have no idea how I even stumbled upon it in the first place, yet when I tell you that it is now a staple that I can’t see going without? It’s like it coats my hair and soothes my scalp without any (real) residue so that my hair remains moisturized until I come up and do my nighttime hair routine. Definitely a must-have if you’re trying to figure out how to keep your hair from drying out in between wash days. Hey, don’t say I never told you. It’s a winner. Promise you that!
So…what are you waiting on? Your parched hair is looking for relief, and now you know just what to do. Enjoy, sis. ENJOY.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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