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Here’s What To Do When You’re Left On Read

It happens to the best of us but it doesn't have to get the best of you.

Love & Relationships

It's happened to all of us. You sent a text. The recipient read it. Or at least that's what the read receipt says. And now, nothing. Silence. Crickets. Congratulations, you've just been left on read! I'm sorry, I know it's not a laughing matter. In fact, it doesn't feel good at all. It sucks. Especially if the person you texted was someone you were dating and really liked. You have so many questions. Was it something I said? Are they ghosting me? Are they mad at me? Have they found someone else? You can drive yourself crazy asking questions if you're not careful.

In all honesty, the answer could be in any of those questions above, or it could be really simple: they aren't texting you back because they don't want to text you back. And in those moments, the better question to ask is: what do you do when you're left on read?

Keep reading to learn what to do when the person you're into left you on read.

Put Down The Phone

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No, seriously, put the phone down. Find something else to occupy your time. Obsessing over why they aren't texting you will only give you more anxiety and make you feel worse about the lack of communication. Watch a movie, do your nails, or hell, reach out to someone who wants to talk to you. Whatever you do, stop obsessively checking your phone for the one person who isn't. Refocus your energy elsewhere.

Don't Double Text

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I know you want to but I strongly advise against double texting. If you find that the person did intentionally leave you on read, double texting is usually a move that you'll eventually regret.

Double texting, especially out of context can reek of desperation, or worse, feel like a disregard of someone's obvious reluctance of not wanting to speak to you. Whatever their reason may be, the ball is in their court, so let them come to you.

Re-read Your Text(s)

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Now before I explain, it's important to note that you should only re-read your text one time. Do not obsessively read your text over and over. I recommend re-reading your text once to see if it warranted a response. A text exchange has to eventually end at some point, right? So maybe the text you sent didn't actually warrant a response. If that is truly the case, it may be OK to text again after a few days of no response.

However, if you do, make sure you are texting about something completely different so that it is clear that it is not an attempt at a continuation of the last conversation (hold off on the passive aggressive, "Thanks for ignoring me yesterday." Throw it away, just throw it all away). But if after re-reading your text you find that you asked a question or it was a statement that warranted a response, see above and do not double text!

Don’t Assume The Worst

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There are multiple reasons why the person you texted could have unintentionally left you on read. They could have intended to text back, got super busy, and then forgot to circle back and text you. They may be sick. They may be dealing with some really heavy things right now like the death of a friend or family member, depression, or anxiety. This is why it's important to allow some time to pass between the conversation and the lack of follow-up.

As time passes, it will become clear whether leaving you on read was intentional or unintentional. Not only that, but it will also allow the person to reach back out to you when they are ready to have a conversation.

Don't Take It Personally

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No matter the reason, do not take being left on read personally. Remember that people's actions very rarely have anything to do with you and more to do with that person and what they are currently going through. What they do or don't do is solely on them. It is not a reflection of you, something you've done, or how they feel about you as much as it is a reflection of themselves in that moment in time.

Forget Him/Her

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The hard truth is that being left on read (especially for days, weeks, or months) could very well be the person's cowardly way of saying that they are no longer interested in dating you, being friends with you, or communicating with you. Some people prefer to ghost than to communicate their issues with you or hardships in life. If this is the case, think of it as them doing you a favor.

With them gone, you now have room to receive the relationships and friendships that you deserve.

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