Celebrity couples have a way of attacking the hearts of fans and audiences. There's just something so intriguing about knowing the personal details of someone you may admire. And let's be honest, after a while, the social media posts and intimate interviews can make some of us feel like we know the ins and outs of these relationships. But the truth is, most times, there's a lot we don't actually know. And when moments like these happen, it becomes painfully obvious that all that glitters ain't gold. We're all human, and no matter how rich or famous one may be, relationship struggles and break-ups happen. But I'll admit, the ones we're about to mention surprised me and stung a bit.
Check out this list of the biggest celebrity breakups of 2021. And, let us know if there's anyone you would have added!
Kim Kardashian and Kanye “Ye” West
Karwai Tang/Getty Images
Whether you love or hate these two, it's hard to ignore the fact that their names draw attention. This is why it simply seemed like "rumors" when whispers of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian divorcing would make the rounds every couple of years. Plus, the two would quickly dismiss the claims with a public statement of affection or an IG post that made the item appear happy and unbothered. But after a while, it was hard to ignore that there was obviously a lot going on. From Kanye's presidential run and Twitter rants to more serious things like mental health struggles and long sprouts of separation, the rumors of the end of their seven-year marriage started to ring true. From the outside looking in, the announcement wasn't a complete shock. Yet still, true fans were pretty upset. The couple shares four children and has often publicly spoken about their love and passion for each other.
But at the end of the day, it seems as if the cause of their split was actually quite normal. During the Keeping up With the Kardashians final season, Kim addressed everything and admitted to feeling as if she desired a more conventional relationship. She says, "I just feel like I've worked so hard in life to achieve everything that I've wanted to, and I've lived up to my expectations and achieved 10 times more than I ever thought was humanly possible, but I don't have a life to share that with."
"After turning 40 this year, I realized, like, 'No, I don't want a husband that lives in a completely different state.' To me, I thought, 'Oh my God, that's when we're getting along the best.' But then, that is sad to me and that's not what I want."
Sometimes it seems as if the couple is working to fix it, and other times it looks like things are pretty final. It's tough because "I miss the old Kanye" and hope Kim ends up happy too.
Saweetie and Quavo
Steve Granitz/WireImage via Getty Images
The relationship between Saweetie and Quavo seemed like it happened so long ago, which is weird because I liked them together; and so did, like, everybody else. They just seemed fun and super carefree, but I guess you can never judge a book or IG post by its cover. Because pretty soon after fans started speculating about the rappers' split, Saweetie confirmed it in a very direct tweet. It read, "I'm single. I've endured too much betrayal and hurt behind the scenes for a false narrative to be circulating that degrades my character. Presents don't band-aid scars and the love isn't real when the intimacy is given to other women."
Later, Quavo responded with his own spicy tweet saying, "I know you want to make this into a show so I'll play my part just this one time. I don't normally put my business out there, especially my personal life. I feel the need to address this so there are no false narratives." He continues, "I had love for you and was disappointed you did all that. You are not the woman I thought you were. I wish you nothing but the best."
Saweetie then concluded the back and forth with a short and sweet, "take care." Even though the social thread and events that followed became pretty toxic, they were a hot celebrity couple at the time and left us with a few nice break-up tracks.
Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images
Whew, this one is a lot. Model Gigi Hadid and singer/songwriter Zayn Malik's on-again-off-again relationship came to a head when Yolanda Hadid, Gigi's mother, alleged that Zayn "struck" her during a dispute. According to sources, the altercation is what sparked their most recent break-up. However, Zayn has maintained his innocence. He tells TMZ, "I adamantly deny striking Yolanda Hadid, and for the sake of my daughter I decline to give any further details. I hope that Yolanda will reconsider her false allegations and move towards healing these family issues in private."
Still, Zayn pled no-contest to four charges of harassment against Yolanda and Gigi. Although the couple is no longer an item they are both dedicated to creating a healthy co-parenting environment. A rep for Gigi tells ET, "She is solely focused on the best for Khai [her daughter]. She asks for privacy at this time."
Yeah, if he did what they claim he did, being in a relationship would definitely be a hard no for me!
Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez
Steve Granitz/WireImage via Getty Images
Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez started dating five years ago and became engaged in 2019. Fans were very excited about their engagement and it was nice to see J.Lo happy. However, it didn't take long for things to get a bit messy. There were rumors that Alex had been a little too flirty with a Bravo reality star and that the Hustlers star was flicking it up without her ring. Not to mention, the wedding got postponed, though they attributed that to the pandemic. Still, they maintained that they were together for quite a while but eventually released a statement admitting the split. It read, "We have realized we are better as friends and look forward to remaining so. We will continue to work together and support each other on our shared businesses and projects."
It was kinda sad to hear this. But one thing about Jenny from the Block is, she's gonna have admirers. And as we know, she ended up in a rekindled romance with former flame Ben Affleck!
La La and Carmelo Anthony
Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images for DuJour
La La Anthony has been outside, and I'm here for it! She's involved in so many television shows and has been killing the 'Gram. But, it's been quite a journey. In 2017, the media personality and actress separated from her former husband, NBA star Carmelo Anthony when he was accused of cheating and getting another woman pregnant. The couple was rumored to have gotten back together since that time. However, things became final when La La filed for divorce in June of this year.
Although the two have remained friends, it seems as if she is happy with her decision. She says, "When you've been with somebody for so long and we started as best friends, I love that we still have that friendship. We're raising a kid together. It's no drama with us, it's no beef. I talk to him as I talk to my close friend and we still have that."
Miguel and Nazanin Mandi
Jon Kopaloff/WireImage via Getty Images
The news about Miguel and Nazanin Mandi's split dropped pretty recently but it still had to make the annual list! The couple had been together for 17 years and married for three years before they decided to call it quits, and maybe that's why this one stung so much. That is a lot of time for something to end so suddenly.
However, the couple has always been pretty private, and it's pretty likely that just like we didn't know about the highs, we didn't know about lows. Still, shoutout to Nazanin Mandi because if sis is the inspiration behind some of those beautiful Miguel tracks, we're forever grateful.
Victor Cruz and Karrueche Tran
Cassidy Sparrow/Getty Images for MAXIM
Want an example of an amicable breakup? Take a look at Victor Cruz and Karrueche Tran. The couple started dating in December of 2017 and seemed very unproblematic and happy. However, as happens sometimes, it looks like over time they simply grew apart. Between a pandemic and working on different coasts, that is completely understandable. A lot of effort and intention is needed to make a relationship like this work. And it looks like these two decided it would be better to just end things peacefully.
A source told E News, "Right now, they are focused on continuing to grow their successful careers. There are no hard feelings. This is just a case of two people moving forward in life separately."
Featured image by Steve Granitz/WireImage via Getty Images
Some say that the Catholic church deemed it to be the only “non-sinful” position, and folks followed suit. Others believe that it’s tied into “patriarchy” since a man being on top puts a woman into a submissive receiving position (I mean, the Bible does tell wives to submit to their husbands, and sex is referenced for married couples, so that tracks — Ephesians 5, Colossians 3:18, I Peter 3:1-7, Genesis 2:24-25, I Corinthians 6:16-20). There are even stories about missionaries teaching people of African, Native American, and Chinese ethnicities that any other position is wrong and so those people came up with the term “missionary position” to make fun of the missionaries (chile).
Whatever the actual backstory is, what we know for sure is the missionary position continues to be super popular (although leave it to millennials to knock it out of first position and replace it with doggystyle these days), a great way to cultivate emotional intimacy (more on that in just a sec) — and it is oftentimes perceived as hella boring.
That last point is what I’m gonna address today. Because since it is indeed a great way to connect with your partner, it makes it easier to hit “your spot” (the G-spot, to be exact), and it’s also easy on your body (you know, if the desire is there but your limbs are not exactly cooperating), in my eyes, the missionary position needs to receive the proper respect that it deserves — and the best way to do that is to give it a few, perhaps much-needed, “upgrades.” Here are 15 of ‘em.
1. Do Some Eye Gazing Before Anything Else
Getty Images
Recently, I was talking to a male friend of mine who told me that he doesn’t do casual sex in the missionary position. After asking him how he is subtly able to even pull that off (another article, another time), I then wanted to know the method behind his madness: “It’s too intimate and vulnerable. I need to be in something serious with you to be that…into you.”
One might say that literally putting your member into a woman’s vagina is “into her,” yet I digress. Instead, I’ll just focus on the fact that when they say that eyes are the windows to the soul, there is definitely some truth to that. And when it comes to cultivating intimacy with your partner, there is a practice known as eye gazing that can help to connect the two of you in a very special way.
In fact, there are studies to support that you can analyze how someone feels about you by looking into their eyes, you can increase your level of attraction to them by looking into their eyes, and you and your partner can go up a new level in trust if you look into each other’s eyes as well.
How long should the eye gazing last? Some experts say that the goal should be for five minutes while taking deep breaths in between. While doing that might feel awkward at first, look at it this way — y’all are gonna be face to face for a while anyway, right? Why not take the exchange of energy to another level while you’re doing it? And why not get into this mind of headspace by eye gazing as a form of emotional foreplay?
2. Bring Some Jasmine, Ylang-Ylang or Lavender and Vanilla
Getty Images
One of the best things about the missionary position is it encourages you to shut out the rest of the world, ignore any distractions and really focus on your partner. Matter of fact, a sex therapist once told me that one of the perks of this particular position is it significantly decreases your chances of you and/or your partner fantasizing about other people during coitus (hey, it happens…way more than people care to admit too).
Something that can help to keep you and your partner centered on one another only is the scent of jasmine, ylang-ylang, and a combo of lavender and vanilla. As a bonus, all are also sensual, calming, and relaxing too. You can add a few drops to a carrier oil (like sweet almond or grapeseed) and create a DIY massage oil. You can sprinkle some of them onto your bedding. You can also add a few drops into your sexual pressure points for a nice surprise as far as your partner’s sense of smell goes.
3. Pull in (More) Pillows
Getty Images
For some reason, I can’t find it now (sorry!), but a few weeks ago, I was cracking up at a video of a guy who was challenging his girlfriend to get into the position of being on top like a man and pushing for more than a minute straight. She failed miserably (it really was hilarious!). After I sent it to a few male friends, one wrote back and said, “Y’all have no idea what being on top can do to a brotha’s back sometimes.”
A workaround that will make everyone happy? Bring in some more pillows. It will elevate your body so that he won’t have to bend over quite so low. Plus, it will help him to penetrate you more deeply, which is almost always a good thing.
You can use the pillows that you already have (they should work just fine). Or you can invest in a sex pillow. They tend to be a bit firmer so that you don’t have to be slippin’ and slidin’ all over the place. Glamour did you a solid by providing a list of some of their favorite sex pillows here; Self did the same by providing their best-of-the-best list here.
4. Light Some Candles
Getty Images
Back to the eye thing real quick. Yeah, I don’t know how y’all are gonna be able to stare deeply into each other’s eyes if it’s pitch black in the room. And here’s the thing about letting some light shine in; there was a study conducted that said when a light box (like the kind that’s used to treat depression) is brought into a man’s space, it can increase his levels of sexual desire. The reason why is it has a way of boosting his testosterone levels.
However, if you don’t want to feel like you’re standing — well, lying — in a room that has the ridiculous lighting that is in department store dressing rooms, go with candlelight instead. A soft glow can still help him to see your shapes and curves and the two of you to look at each other yet because everything with candles is way more subtle, it can help you to feel less self-conscious if you’re not as confident in the sex department as you would like to be (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”).
5. Add Some Flavored Lube
Getty Images
Although pretty much all of us have heard the saying, “The wetter, the better,” at this point, this tip is a shout-out to the safe sex crowd (since reportedly, only one-third of men and one-quarter of women actually use condoms. SMDH). If you want to make bringing rubbers into a mix a much more pleasurable experience, go with some flavored lubricant. Although you might only think of its use in the context of oral sex (more on that in a bit), dabbing some on your neck (so that he can taste something sweet-er when he kisses you there) or on your wrists or forearm (so that he can lick them while your hands are pinned back) can be a truly welcome surprise.
And what are some of the best-tasting ones on the market these days? No worries. I got you:
6. Modify the Position…a Bit
Getty Images
As we continue, I will be — no pun intended — deep diving into some tweaks that can be made to the standard missionary position in order to intensify sexual pleasure. For now, I’ll just say that spooning face to face, allowing your partner to pin your legs back, having sex while standing up, letting him ride cowboy (which means he’s literally in the position that you are typically in during the cowgirl) and your partner lying horizontally over your body instead of vertically — these all are twists to the missionary that could cause you to hear “missionary position” with new levels of excitement.
7. Apply the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
Getty Images
Speaking of modifying positions, what do y’all know about the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)? If you’re staring at your screen like, “What in the world is that?” it’s when your partner gets into the downward-facing dog yoga position while you’re on your back in the missionary one. This causes your partner’s penis to stimulate your clitoris as they are entering you and sometimes as they are going in and out. The (main) benefit is if you’re someone who finds experiencing a vaginal orgasm challenging, you significantly increase your chances of experiencing one since your clitoris will be stimulated during the act of intercourse.
Another bonus is “doing the CAT” can help a man to last longer if premature ejaculation is something that he is prone to experiencing.
8. Get Out of the Bed/Bedroom
Getty Images
The older we get, the more bedroom sex makes sense. After all, beds were specifically designed to support our bodies. Still, if you’ve been in a long-term relationship for quite some time, just like approaching the missionary position the same way every time can get old, so can always being in your bed — or bedroom.
You’re paying good money to utilize more than just one room in your home, so why not maximize each one’s potential? And as far as the best room in the house to get busy, I recently read an article that said bathrooms and balconies are fan favorites, followed by closets and utility rooms. Personally, I’m with what a Men’s Health article stated, which is the living room is probably the most comfortable (and common) — yet whatever you do, just try and think outside of the box sometimes. In this case, think outside of your bed and bedroom to see what other places are comfortable for you both.
9. Or…Get on the Edge of the Bed
Getty Images
So, what if you're like, "I hear you, but it's gonna be the bed for me, more times than not?" I hear you. There's a way to upgrade the missionary position and how you use your bed at the same time — have him pull you to the edge of the bed and either penetrate you by lifting your legs over his shoulders, or the two of you can just have "regular sex" that way (so long as he's good at maintaining his balance and keeping you from falling off at the same time).
The perks? For one, if his penis is more on the average side (check out "Sex Hacks For Different Kinds Of Penises (You Heard Me Right)"), he will be able to penetrate you more deeply. Another benefit is if you like to bring vibrators into the mix, it will be easier to do (especially if your legs are up). Another is this is one way to get your clitoris, vagina, and cervix all stimulated all at the same time — in fact, this is why another name for the edge of the bed is "the edge of heaven" (makes sense).
10. Keep Your Bra on — Kinda
Getty Images
As a doula, whenever new moms talk to me about easing back into sex, it's very common for them to talk about how "conflicted" they are when it comes to their breasts, especially if they are breastfeeding. It makes complete and total sense when you think about the fact that first, our breasts are ours alone, then men come in and use them as foreplay, and then here comes a baby who uses them as a food source. A top suggestion that I give is that moms invest in some super sexy nursing bras. That way, if they want to still keep their breasts covered up, there is something pretty for their partner to look at.
Along these same lines (kinda sorta), consider keeping your own bra on during missionary — well, kind of. Either get one that is extremely sheer or pull your breasts out so that they are hanging out over the front of your bra. Why? Well, a lot of men have told me over the years that while nothing really tops a woman in her birthday suit, the peek-a-boo effect of breasts over bras and crotchless panties turns them on in a way that they can't fully articulate. Plus, if you're a bit insecure, this can help you out like it can a new mom (believe it or not), especially if you're going to bring some lighting in (like I suggested earlier).
11. Enjoy His Nipples
Getty Images
Speaking of breasts…although not everyone finds their nipples to be the ultimate erogenous zone (check out “So, What If ‘Typical Erogenous Zones’ Annoy TF Outta You?”), don’t automatically assume that your partner is one of them. The reality is men have the same glands and nerve endings that we do when it comes to their nipples which means a lot of them find their nipples getting some TLC to be super erotic and enjoyable.
A husband client of mine once told me in a session that he wished that his wife would lick on his nipples more, especially during intercourse, because it takes his orgasms to a completely different level. When his wife heard that, she asked, since she’s not a contortionist, how could she possibly pull that off in a comfortable way? This actually brings us to the next point.
12. Try Some Kama Sutra Piercing
Getty Images
On the heels of what I just said, what do you know about the Kama Sutra approach known as piercing? It’s kind of similar to CAT, only with a twist. This time, a man should position his shoulders to where they are directly over your head — that way, as he is moving in and out, you can get direct clitoral stimulation.
How is this any different from the CAT? Well, with that position, his arch is backed farther away from you. Plus, it tends to feel the most amazing upon entry only. On the other hand, piercing makes it possible for you to do the whole nipple thing that we just talked about while he’s able to stimulate your clitoris more intentionally the entire time. A win/win for everyone, wouldn’t you say?
13. Engage in (Some or More) Edging
Getty Images
Another way to almost guarantee that your orgasms will be next level is to engage in a bit of edging. If you're familiar with the word, yet you've never exactly researched and/or tried it before — let's just say that it's the kind of act that requires some stamina (on his part) and some self-discipline (for you both). The reason why I say that is because edging is all about having intercourse, your partner stopping for 15-30 seconds, and then you both starting back up all over again.
And why would someone want to send themselves through this mind of, in a way, mind f-ck? It builds anticipation and excitement, which can actually make your orgasms super intense. Hell, it could even lead to multiple orgasms if y'all play your cards right. Anyway, you can learn more about edging by reading "All About Edging: The Ways Prolonging Pleasure Makes For Mind-Blowing Orgasms" on our platform.
14. Stop. And Switch.
Getty Images
As I was in the process of penning this piece, I asked a few people to share why they felt that some people take a ho-hum attitude about the missionary position. The general consensus was if that’s all you do the entire time, things can get old really quick.
Good point. That’s why it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that, just because you start off in missionary, no rule says that you have to stay there (unless you happen to live in Florida because, apparently, only the missionary is legal there; Florida stays wilin’ out). No rule says that once you start having sex that you can’t do some other, eh hem, activities in between positions too.
My vote? Be down to get into some oral, especially if you want to increase your chances of having an orgasm. A “good giver” is gonna get off so much on pleasuring you that you probably won’t have to worry about him needing to maintain an erection even if he spends a few moments downtown (cue SWV’s song). Oral sex intermissions are so unsung. Whew, chile.
15. Moan ‘N Whisper
Getty Images
The last and final point. "Dirty talk" is always gonna be a winner when it comes to sex, period; however, when you're in the missionary position, it's really amazin' considering you're both right next to each other's ears.
And what if dirty talk isn't something that you've exactly mastered (yet)? The key is to not overthink it. Moan. Whisper the things that you like being done to you (or that you want him to try). Ask him what he likes (or wants more of). When he's got it right, praise him. If he's got a pet name, use it. If you want to go with his government name, he probably won't mind that either.
The main point here is to remember that great sex incorporates all of the senses — touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing. And since words are our most effective form of communication, you can't go wrong with using some in the bedroom…especially when you're giving it all that you've got in the missionary position…especially as you're adding in some of these upgrades that I just shared.
Enjoy, sis. EN-freakin’-JOY!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy
