September is bringing things full circle. This year has had a lot of ups and downs. There have been some major wins in the start, but there have also been a lot of moments of growth, some more uncomfortable than others. With September beginning in Virgo Season, with Mercury retrograde in Virgo, and Venus retrograde in September, there is a balance needed to be had with what is falling away and what is coming in.
The insights are powerful in Virgo Season, and there is also an underlying energy of pressure to get it together. Remember this time is not about overworking or overthinking and that the energy of the month is more about bringing things together and coming to positive conclusions.
September 2023 Horoscopes: An Overview
Venus officially goes direct in Leo on September 3rd and will remain direct in this fire sign until October 8th. Venus in Leo is inspiring, creative, and bold. Take what you have learned in love, especially about yourself in love, and use this energy to create more abundance and happiness in your life.
Jupiter goes retrograde in Taurus the following day, facilitating a different set of areas of growth and influencing finances as well as love. Jupiter will be in retrograde until December 30th, so the rest of this year is really about planning thoroughly financially while also setting your intentions and believing in miracles for yourself here.
On September 14th, there is a New Moon in Virgo, and this New Moon is bringing a fresh perspective. This is a time of harvest, and many will be seeing the manifestations they have been working on since springtime, bloom for them now. This Virgo Moon is here to create divine order and stabilize blessings.
With Mercury moving out of retrograde and going direct in Virgo the following day, the Virgo energy this month is creating impactful change, a new beginning, and much-needed closures of what wasn’t working. This is a month of turning a new leaf and standing in your power.
Finally, before the month ends, the Sun moves into air sign Libra, and Libra Season officially begins. Libra Season is different from Virgo Season as in Virgo Season, we are inspired to work, get it together, and take care of everything we have been putting off. In Libra Season, we are inspired to love, tend to our relationships, and create beauty and art in the world that Virgo Season helped us build and manifest.
On the last day of the month, there is a Supermoon in Aries, and just when you thought the energy was settling, some big changes and closures occur.
Keep reading to learn what September has in store for your zodiac sign.
September 2023 Monthly Horoscopes for Each Zodiac Sign
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
In September, you are being reawakened, Aries. This is an eye-opening month for you and a time when a big impact is being made in your life. You are seeing things in a new light, and you are spiritually evolving. Jupiter goes retrograde at the start of the month and highlights your financial zone. This month is the starting point of a four-month-long journey of defining your values, your integrity, and planning for the future.
Toward the end of September, the Sun moves into your 7th house of love, and you get some more time to spend on your relationships, your pleasure, and your heart. You are getting redirected this month and putting yourself on the path that is going to serve you and your goals the most. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in your sign, and you are truly breaking free and stepping into your power.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
September is a much-needed reality check, Taurus. You are getting the answers you are looking for, but it’s taking some time to adjust to new perspectives. What you thought was put in the past is being brought to your attention again, and thankfully, you are ready to put down the defenses and come to some important conclusions. Venus moving out of retrograde and going direct on September 3rd will be helping you facilitate that new beginning, especially in the home.
The most important transit happening for you this month is Jupiter in Taurus going retrograde from September 4th until December 30th. For the rest of this year, you will be unpacking, processing, and getting to know yourself better. Jupiter wants to open your eyes to more of who you are, and this time is all about showing up, using your voice, and honoring your multi-faceted, growing self. Surrender to the unknown, knowing the universe is supporting you every step of the way.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
A chapter is closing in your life this month, and you are ready for a change, Gemini. This transformation you are moving through in September couldn’t have come at a better time because you are tired of the emotional stagnation you have been feeling. Jupiter goes retrograde in your house of endings, healing, and closure this month for the rest of this year, and this is helping you heal. You are making sense of the patterns and stories that have been playing out in your life and are moving on.
Your ruling planet has been retrograde since late August and goes direct on the 15th of this month. With this breath of fresh air coming into your life in mid-September and a Supermoon in your 11th house of community and friendship the week following, you will have moments of freedom, connection, and acceptance that are profound. Even though you are moving through some changes that are, at times, uncomfortable, you can clearly see the good you are creating in your life as well this month.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
September is a month of happiness for you, Cancer. The Sun is shining, and you are elated with its beams shining on you. This is an inspiring month and a time when you are seeing the happy outcomes you have been wishing for. You deserve to feel good, to feel healthy, and to be in your power, and this month is reminding you of that. The New Moon, happening on September 14th, is a new beginning for you in regards to open communication, and you are liking what you are hearing this month.
Moving further into September, the energy shifts as the Full Moon occurs in your 4th house of home and family and helps you open your eyes to where you can gain more stability in life and where you can put more of your efforts. The key this month is to not let anyone steal your joy or your shine but to also give a helping hand and to use your newfound inspiration to help better the lives of others as well. Your life is expanding, and it’s beautiful.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Your dreams are coming true, and it’s time to act as if it’s already so. Your belief systems are key this month, and your guidance is to focus on what you want and to believe and know that it’s yours. You have come so far and are reaching some important achievements and milestones this month, Leo. The month begins with Venus in Leo finally moving out of retrograde and allowing you more room to breathe in self-love rather than the self-criticism that has been more prevalent as of late.
Mercury is retrograde in your 2nd house of income and finances until September 15th, and once Mercury goes direct, you are seeing yourself in a better position financially than when you started this retrograde in late August. You are learning more about the importance of valuing yourself and your dreams this month and are overall seeing the positive progress that has come from you just believing in yourself and your vision for your life.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Virgo. The Sun is in your sign for most of September, and you are feeling the creativity, passion, and divinity in your life. New paths are opening up for you, and you are the perfect one to pave the way. You are inspiring others, shining your light, and creating experiences in your life that not only benefit you but those around you as well. The New Moon is in your sign this month on the 14th, and this further signifies the new beginning and magic you are personally bringing into your life this month.
September is a great time to manifest and focus on creating what works for you and what lights you up. With Mercury being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you have had to deal with miscommunication, delays, and disagreements. Mercury goes direct on September 15th, and you are seeing things clearer than ever and communicating with more clarity and strength than before. Through the challenges you have been through, you have only come out of it stronger and more fierce.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
September is about protecting your energy and using your time wisely, Libra. You have figured out who and what you want in your life and what you don’t- and there is no going back now. The more you can choose yourself, choose your values, and choose self-love, the greater impact the decisions you are making can have. The energy begins to move into your sign this month, and the focus turns on you, however, it’s up to you what you do with it.
Libra Season officially begins on September 23rd this year, and you are done with moving mountains and are ready to enjoy the view at the top. You have shown yourself what is possible for you in life, and you have stood your ground on the things that are important to you. On September 29th, there is a Supermoon in your opposite sign, Aries, and you are coming full circle in love. What goes around comes around, and your good karma in love is coming around.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
September is a spiritual month for you, Scorpio. The month begins in Virgo Season, and you flow well with this earthly energy. You are focused on stabilizing your emotions and really understanding your thought processes and inner discoveries this month, and it’s serving you well. Jupiter has been in your 7th house for the past few months, opening your eyes in love and blessing your relationships overall. This benevolent planet goes retrograde at the beginning of the month, and you may be feeling more tested over the next few months to see if you have done the work here.
The decisions you have made and the paths you have walked have all led you to where you are right now, and you are making sense of it all this month in a more vulnerable way. You are lighting your way forward, and the New Moon on the 14th is inspiring you to new heights. Manifestations are appearing, and you are recognizing your power as a creator. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in your 6th house of health, work, and routine, and you are taking care of business as the month ends.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
This month is all about working smarter, not harder, Sagittarius. The potential for overworking or overthinking is likely this month, and you are being guided to take things one step at a time. You haven’t gotten to where you are now without your stamina and determination, and that energy isn’t going away now. With the Sun in your 10th house of career for most of the month, you are thinking about the legacy you want to lead right now.
Your ruling planet, Jupiter, goes retrograde this month and will be moving in retrograde motion in an area of your chart having to do with your daily life and well-being. Taking care of your health, planning thoroughly, and leaving room for growth in your working life is what this time is all about. A Supermoon is happening on the 29th before the month ends, and you are ready to focus more on love, your happiness, and the romance that you are being inspired by in your life right now.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
Success is yours this month, Capricorn. This is a dynamic, powerful, and abundant month for you, and your efforts are being acknowledged. Something is shifting in your life in September, and you are truly feeling appreciated for who you are. You are inspired by the beauty you see in others, knowing this is a direct reflection of yourself, and you are claiming your blessings in September. Own your power, own your purpose.
The New Moon happening this month is occurring in fellow earth sign, Virgo, and it’s creating a new sense of adventure in your life. You are not attracted to the norm right now and are ready to step out of the box, learn new things, and connect with people who support you. The Supermoon on September 29th will be closing a chapter in your life, and this chapter has to do with your home, family life, emotional well-being, and sense of security. This month is about balancing your home and personal life with your professional one and knowing there is a difference.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
September is all about patience, Aquarius. The work you have been putting in will show fruition, but more time and dedication may be needed this month. This is a good time to develop your skills and talents, expand your mind, and take intentional action on the things you are looking to grow in your life right now. With the Sun in your 8th house of commitment for most of the month, there is a lot on your plate, so remember to ask for help or support when you need it.
Mercury goes direct on the 15th in the same area the Sun currently is, your 8th house. With Mercury going direct mid-month, you are starting to see new developments, more ease, and greater balance in your close relationships. Intimacy feels like it’s blooming into something beautiful in your life, and you have been moving through an emotional transformation. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in your house of communication, and you can expect a message from the universe at this time. Listen to the guidance that is coming through for you this month.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
September is a month to take a step back, process, and gain some renewed energy before moving forward again, Pisces. Mercury is retrograde in your 7th house of love until mid-September, so for the first half of the month, you may be dealing with some communication challenges and a lack of understanding of the heart. Your love life is going through a change, but you need time to process and define what that is truly going to mean for you in the long run.
Jupiter, one of your ruling planets, is also going retrograde in September and will be moving retro in your house of communication until the end of this year. Jupiter overall will be helping you find your voice and encouraging you to take up space. Remember that sometimes being you is more important than being understood. There is a New Moon on September 14th, and this is a good time to set your intentions for where you want to see your love life and relationships head, where the support is in your life, and how you can grow with love.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
- Surviving Mercury Retrograde: What You Can Expect This Mercury Retrograde ›
- Venus Goes Retrograde This Summer, Here’s What This Means For Your Love Life ›
- Your August 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Release & Ushering Love Into The Forefront ›
- What Summer 2023 Has In Store For You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign ›
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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The Oral Sex Gap: What Statistics Reveal About Giving and Receiving
Oral sex isn’t exempt here — and boy, when it comes to that topic, there are layers abundant. Although I’m pretty sure that no one is shocked that both fellatio and cunnilingus are acts that are hella popular and even preferred to actual intercourse (well, at least when it comes to women), what may surprise you is that while reportedly only 28 percent of women actually enjoy giving head, they still tend to go down on men way more than men go down on them (well, us — check out “What?! Only 35 Percent Of Men Go Down? Say It Ain’t So.”).
Not only that but I can’t tell you how many men and women have said to me that if there is one thing they wish would improve when it comes to experiencing intimacy with their partner, it’s oral sex — sometimes when it comes to receiving, sometimes when it comes to giving…sometimes when it comes to both.
Y’all, it would truly suck (absolutely no pun intended here) to go into (wow!) a quarter of this century and not be able to say by the end of it that 2025 was the year that you got some of the best cunnilingus — and gave some of the best fellatio — ever. And so, please take a moment to review a few helpful give-and-receive oral sex hacks. Nothing below is super revelatory or complex. If anything, they’re all just reminders that a bit of tweaking can lead to some totally mind-blowing oral action. It’s damn near guaranteed.
How to Make 2025 the Year of Mind-Blowing Oral Sex
GIVE: Be More Enthusiastic
GiphyJust like I write about sex a lot, I also talk to people about it quite a bit — and when it comes to fellatio, although I do hear some men express that they wish their partner would improve in the technique department, what is conveyed even more is that they think their partners lack in the enthusiasm department; enthusiasm in the sense that no one wants to feel like someone is going down on them when they would rather do just about anything but. SMDH.
Enthusiasm is all about approaching something earnestly, eagerly, and with a lot of passion. It’s about doing something because YOU want to, not just because it’s expected of you.
And so, if you know that you lack enthusiasm and it’s genuinely because you feel a bit self-conscious because you don’t think that you’re as good at going down as you would like, first check out articles on the platform like “Are You Ready To Amp Up Your Oral Sex Game? Try This.,” “12 Things You Should Do During Oral (That You Probably Aren't)” and “Umm...Wanna Learn How To Swallow? Try These 10 Hacks.”
And what if you struggle with zeal because you really don’t like doing it? Well, check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and then be ready to have an open and honest (yet kind) conversation with your partner. Sometimes just getting that off of your chest can release a lot of pressure, so that you two can figure out something that will work for you both…together.
RECEIVE: Be More Communicative
GiphySomething else that I have noticed is A LOT of people sure do have egos when it comes to oral sex — this time, I mean in the giving department. It’s kind of wild (and unfortunate) too because it’s pretty unrealistic to think that just because a hot mouth is around genitalia, that should automatically mean that undeniable pleasure will ensue. Nah, the only way that anyone is going to get the type of oral sex pleasure that they long for is if they are willing to openly and effectively communicate with their partner.
And no, I don’t mean barking orders around. I mean, mastering the art of dirty talk which means watching your tone (make sure it’s inviting), clearly expressing what feels good and also being patient throughout the process. Y’all, the reality is that, although the acts of sex are somewhat generalized, each of us has individual “edits” that we like to have made — and there’s no way that your partner will know that unless you speak up. So…SPEAK. UP (check out “How To Make Him Better At Oral (Without Putting Him On The Spot)”).
GIVE: Master the Frenulum
GiphyThe underside of a man’s penis that is closest to his scrotum (balls)? That is called his frenulum. Since it’s considered to be the most sensitive part of a man’s penis, that’s why it definitely deserves some extra special attention when you’re giving a guy oral sex. You can do this by using your fingers to act like you’re sending a text (or playing a flute) while you are performing fellatio. You can put an ice cube in your mouth and lick the base of his penis so that he can experience some temperature play.
You can get your favorite sex condiment (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”), apply it to his penis, and then lick the base as if it were an ice cream cone. You can put a vibrator on his frenulum while he’s in your mouth. You can lick the tip while using a penis massager like the Arcwave Ion Penis Stimulator (which uses airwaves as its main stimuli). The bottom line with this giving tip is to remember that just like your clitoris is the most sensitive part of your vulva, his frenulum is the most sensitive part of his penis — so, if you want to blow his mind, you simply shouldn’t ignore it.
P.S. To be fair, if a man is circumcised, he may only have a partial frenulum or he may not have one at all; however, because there still tend to be quite a few nerve endings at the base of a man’s penis, it still can be stimulated, so still give it some TLC either way.
RECEIVE: Have Him Give You “Cunnilingus Foreplay”
GiphyMaybe it’s just me, but I don’t get how there is foreplay for intercourse and not foreplay for oral sex. Hmph. Maybe it’s because far too many people see fellatio and cunnilingus as foreplay — I don’t, though. In my eyes, they are both types of sex which means they both deserve some “pregaming” action, if you know what I mean. On the cunnilingus tip, I think that men should be encouraged to kiss their inner thighs more and keep their partner’s underwear on longer.
Licking on top of panties, using ice for its own cunnilingus-focused temperature play, pulling panties in and while gently sucking on a woman’s vaginal lips (which stimulates her clitoris due to the pressure of the fabric that is on it) — these are all examples of doing just what foreplay does: serve as a prelude to sex.
That said, if you’ve got someone who simply “dives right in,” slow things down with a bit of cunnilingus foreplay. It will make the experience even hotter and will significantly increase your chances of having multiple oral orgasms (because yes, those are an actual thing too!).
GIVE: Focus on Other Erogenous Zones (Simultaneously)
GiphyTell me something: when you’re giving your partner head, where are your hands? If they are on his shaft, that’s cool (more on that in a bit); however, do you make the time to explore other parts of his body too? Yeah, let’s also make 2025 the year when we explore more than just the obvious erogenous zones. For men, places that drive them wild include their lower stomach, inner thighs, and nipples. While you’re down below, use your hands to caress those parts of his body.
Oh, and before you even get down there, massage his scalp and/or French kiss his earlobes as you whisper just what he is in for. Since, from what I’ve read, many guys are fine with fellatio lasting between 5-7 minutes (if they know that intercourse is on its way, that is) — by focusing on his other “hot spots” at the same time, that time might get even shorter.
RECEIVE: Get into Different Positions
GiphyJust like the missionary position is the traditional go-to for sex (hey, and don’t sleep on it either; check out “Here's Why The Missionary Position Will Forever Be Top-Tier” and “15 Hot Tips Giving The Missionary Position The Upgrade You Crave”), a woman being on her back is the traditional way that she (we) receive cunnilingus. However, just like other sex positions can “hit spots” in ways that you never saw coming — well, cumming — positioning your body in other ways during cunnilingus can do the same thing.
Get on all fours, so that your partner can slide his head in between your knees. Stand up and put one leg on the bed while he kneels in front of you. Try the Kivin Method which is basically about you being on your back while your partner goes down on you from a side angle (that way, your clitoris, vaginal opening, and perineum can all be easily stimulated).
Sit in a chair and “receive him” that way. Get into the doggy-style position and see if you like it from that direction. I’m telling you, folks be out here seriously missing out on other forms of oral pleasure and it’s all because they think that there is just one way to “do” oral — THERE ABSOLUTELY IS NOT.
GIVE: Use a (Wet) Hand
GiphyThere’s a series that I stumbled upon several years ago on YouTube entitled,Diary of a Cheating Man. During the second episode, the main (cheating) character said something while hiding in the closet from one of his ladies’ boyfriend: “I’m too old for this sh-t. I thought I got past this in high school or somethin’. Maybe Preston was right; I’m supposed to be the player and I’m out here gettin’ played by some fake ass basketball wife. Hey, I can’t lie, though. I get why dude is so overprotective. It’s hard to find a girl who can do the twisty hand thing when she gives you head.” LOL.
And you know what? That lil’ hack receives high praise, even in real life — plenty of men have told me so. Yep, massaging your partner’s penis while you are performing fellatio on him can provide an indescribable sensation because there are different types of applied pressures that are happening simultaneously.
If you want to make it extra erotic, either put some lube on your hands (flavored lube is even better — for you) or apply something like shea butter or a carrier oil (check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level”) to the shaft of his penis. Not only will it reduce the friction (and potential chafing), but it will require you to do less work in the “make it wet” department (you know, via spit) as well.
RECEIVE: Incorporate a Pillow
GiphyWhen it comes to cunnilingus, oh, what a difference a pillow makes. It’s practical (because it makes giving a lot easier on a man’s neck). It’s comfortable (because, as a receiver, your lower body is propped up without a ton of effort on your part). And it can help the experience to last longer, if that’s what you’d like — because, from what I’ve read and researched (check out “Who Knew Oral Sex Has An Official Time Limit?”), many women want to “be on the receiving end” anywhere from 15-30 minutes at a time.
Honestly, your own pillows should be able to suit you just fine. Still, if you want to become extra well-versed in all things oral, check out Cosmo’s, “16 Best Sex Pillows, Wedges, and Cushions of 2024 for Hitting All the Right Angles;” you should be able to find one or two that will…get you right. #wink
GIVE AND RECEIVE: Make Eye Contact
GiphyAccording to science, when eye contact is made during sex, not only can it intensify your arousal (by increasing the levels of dopamine that are able to surge throughout your system), but it can also make you feel more connected to your partner. That’s why I decided to close this out by encouraging you and your partner alike to give each other eye contact while giving and receiving oral sex. And you know what this means, right?
In order for this to happen, you’ve got to be able to see each other (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”) — and that means you need to have a red, blue, or purple light bulb in your bedroom or some lit scented soy candles. The right lighting, a comfortable position, and eyes peering into each other during fellatio and cunnilingus — whew…does it get any better than that? Test it out and see, chile. Test it out and freakin’…see.
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