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'Ambitions' Star Robin Givens Is Ready For Love
The OWN network has turned up the heat on Tuesday nights. And if you watched the premiere of the Will Packer produced series Ambitions, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Viewers were catapulted into this deliciously messy drama that follows the lives of five families who are all trying to navigate the waters of dominance, disloyalty, dishonesty, and most of all: debauchery. The cast is full of amazing actors who do more than a good job bringing their characters to life -- I'm talking Essence Atkins, Brian J. White, Kendrick Cross, Brely Evans and the lead lady of the pack: Robin Givens.
Owning the role of Stephanie Carlisle Lancaster, wife to Atlanta Mayor Evan Lancaster and successful lawyer at her family's firm, the 54-year-old proves once again why she's able to maintain relevance in an industry of come-and-goers. She's poised, she's sexy, and she's deliberate.
Givens knows exactly how to reel you in and let you go with just enough so that you'll keep coming back for more. But perhaps what's more impressive than what she does on-screen, is the woman she's become off-screen.
As we chat over the phone on a midweek afternoon, it becomes clear that Givens is a woman who has both lived and learned a lot. She's a woman who, at this point in life, is very clear on who she is, where she's going, and who she hopes to be. Her light and reflective disposition radiates easily as she speaks and it lets me know that, more than anything, Robin Givens is an unstoppable, unshakable, and inspiring force.
The renowned actress spoke candidly with us about Ambitions, faith, and if she'll ever get married again. Here's what she had to say.
xoNecole: We’ve seen you play a myriad of roles onscreen: the vixen, the sex symbol, the tough girl who takes no stuff. Are there are any parallels between you and the characters you portray?
Robin Givens: Well, I think I usually play smart women, you know they're very well-educated. In some ways I'm a little bit behind my character, but in others, I'm ahead of them. I think I'm more mature and maybe more evolved in life than Stephanie Lancaster in some ways. I feel that in some respects though, for a lot of characters that I played--they had more confidence than I had. Stephanie is shrewd; she can maneuver things which personally I'm terrible at. Some parts of her, I really admire because I wouldn't even know how to do what she does.
OWN/Peggy Sirota
"Stephanie is shrewd; she can maneuver things which personally I'm terrible at. Some parts of her, I really admire because I wouldn't even know how to do what she does."
In a recent interview, you talked about how Stephanie was first written in the script. You described her as an “Ice Queen.” What originally drew you to play her character?
The writing was just SO good, and I thought I could shade her in and color her a little bit differently than a lot of people would. I just knew I thought of her in a certain way and I wanted to give her a sense of humor. So I think that was a little bit different than what Jamey [Giddens, creator] had in mind initially.
While watching the first episode of ‘Ambitions’, viewers almost get a sense that Stephanie and her husband Evan almost hate each other. That they’re only married for convenience, can you give us a little insight into their relationship?
I think initially it was convenient, and I think she thinks she's ambitious. She sees that Evan can be the mayor of Atlanta and [might] go on to become governor of Georgia. But as time goes on, you begin to see that there is a little bit more [of] something there. They really are a power couple. Each of them sees themselves in each other and they're kind of bonded in a way. Later on, we'll get to see that there's a little more love in there.
Robin Givens as Stephanie Carlisle starring alongside Brian J. White as Evan Lancaster in 'Ambitions'
OWN
"They really are a power couple. Each of them sees themselves in each other and they're kind of bonded in a way."
You mentioned power couple just now, so I’m curious. If you could compare their relationship to one in the public eye currently, whose would it be and why? We saw on the ‘All-Access’ show, your costar Brian J. White mentioned Bill and Hillary [Clinton or] Jay-Z and Beyoncé.
I mean, I don't know! I work with Brian so I know how he feels personally about this (laughs). He was actually a big part in our 'Stephanie and Evan', in terms of the closeness of their relationship. I think I can pull Bill and Hillary. I don't know much about their personal relationship but certainly they are very bonded. I think they have a mutual respect for one another. From the outside looking in, I think he admires her [and] respects her. And Evan feels that way about Stephanie; the respect and admiration is mutual. So, when we [hear] his character say, "I'm never going to leave my wife"-- it's true. Evan is never going to leave her. There is no woman like his wife… I think she challenges him.
Has Stephanie and Evans's relationship altered the way you view marriage in any way?
No, no. I don't take it that seriously. I don't think I would want their marriage, I don't think anyone would want their marriage! So definitely don't try this at home. To the people watching: don't push up on your wife and don't pull a gun on your husband (laughs).
Is marriage something you’re open to again?
Of course, of course yes--I would absolutely love it! I have two boys, I adopted my first child and the other one I had with a wonderful man. He remarried but we love each other dearly and I love his wife. So we are very much a blended family, but absolutely. I would love that, especially now that I'm an empty nester. I'm working again, I'm a little older. So maybe I can focus in on that as well.
Maybe you can, yes. We are all rooting for you.
Maybe I can have my agent hook me up, but hey if you know anybody let me know!
I surely will, I’ll be your Wingwoman.
There you go, yes! We have to stick together, we have to (laughs).
So at this stage in your life, empty nester-slash-working woman: how would you like a man to court you?
Well, I like being treated like a lady. I really need someone who just gets me, you know? I'm so different from any of my characters. I need someone who understands me. Someone who thinks I'm cute apart from all of this, acting and getting dressed up… I'm looking for peace because I like that. Laughter, friendship in a very simple way. I like to enjoy life with simplicity, so I try to keep things that way. And someone who is patient, likes dating me, and who can make me laugh.
You mentioned your sons a little bit ago, do you find that motherhood affects the way you go about dating?
I think so. I tried to keep dating very separate from them. But now that they're older, I started talking about dating when my eldest son started dating. And it's funny because, there was this one time when we were out somewhere and he goes, "Come on Mom, it's time for you to start dating again, you have to get a guy and stop concentrating on us." And it's like, why is my child verbally reprimanding me? (laughs) I was mad but I was cracking up at the same time.
But you know, the older they get, the more freeing you get. In the sense of you don't have to be home at a certain time and things like that. So, now that I have an empty nest, I think with that comes a courage--not just for dating but for acting as well. For pursuing your dreams and concentrating on yourself and making yourself your project instead of your children--that takes courage.
Behind the scenes of 'Ambitions' with Robin Givens as Stephanie Carlisle Lancaster
OWN
"Now that I have an empty nest, I think with that comes a courage--not just for dating but for acting as well. For pursuing your dreams and concentrating on yourself and making yourself your project instead of your children."
I want to switch gears a bit and talk about your advocacy against domestic violence. You’ve been a voice for the bulk of your career, having experienced it in your own life at a point.
Yes.
And there’s a scene in episode one where after Evan pushes Stephanie, she decides to turn it up several notches and pulls out a gun. Was there a sense of empowerment of “fighting back”?
As much as I am an advocate for domestic violence, I'm really just an advocate for women. I'm a woman, I'm a black woman and I really believe we all have more in common than we think. Certainly our circumstances are different but I think these are all women's issues. And I like to do my part in empowering women especially with being a single mom. I do like how Stephanie gives him no energy whatsoever and then like you said, she takes it up a notch. I don't really connect it to myself so much, I don't do that.
I allow Stephanie to live in me. I bring her to life without burdening her with my history and my circumstances. That being said, I think everything I've gone through in my life--the good, bad and the ugly--helps give me a perspective. It gives me a well to draw from. It's in me. So I can't deny that I put some things into it, but I don't want her to carry around Robin on her back. She's got enough issues to deal with on her own.
Robin Givens as Stephanie Carlisle starring alongside Brian J. White as Evan Lancaster in 'Ambitions'
OWN
"I allow Stephanie to live in me. I bring her to life without burdening her with my history and my circumstances. That being said, I think everything I've gone through in my life--the good, bad and the ugly--helps give me a perspective. It gives me a well to draw from."
You are definitely right about that. But on a personal note, what would you say is the biggest difference between the Robin at the beginning or your career and the Robin you are currently?
I'm grown up--I'm a grown up now! I started this really, really young; I think I've had my SAG-Aftra card probably 35 years now or something like that. I've grown and the world kind of watched me grow up. Now I'm a grown woman and I like being a grown up. So I think that's probably the biggest difference. I was a baby in a sense, a kid initially. But with being grown and being more mature, I have a perspective and respect for things and opportunities.
There were so many things I said "no" to that the Adult Robin would look back on and go, "Now why did you say 'no' to that? Are you crazy, you think opportunities just come as you'd like them?" (laughs) So I think having the perspective of an adult--I really like that and it makes me a better actor, you know what I mean? I feel like I can bring Stephanie to life knowing that I want her to be however strong she seems to people, but that she has vulnerabilities. And that was important for me to show. She has fears. And as an adult now, I know how to shade her in a different way.
Before you go, I want to touch on your faith. I know that’s very important to you, having been vocal about how it anchored you in a sense and got you through some of your lowest moments...
Yes, absolutely.
So I want to ask you about a quote you once said. It reads: “It is by experiencing God that we get to know Him…and it is in knowing God, truly knowing God, that we get to know ourselves.” When you hear that, what does this statement mean to you?
You know, my relationship with God is as I call it, is a relationship with "the only Father I've known." It's been something that's grounded me, sustained me, and saved me. It's meant everything to me. It's how I'm able to be here, be sane and be whole. And hopefully, perfectly broken in a way that can inspire others. He has given purpose to this sort of, beautiful mess. You know, I grew up Catholic and there was a certain ritual that we would go through. And I think often times, we go through these rituals and we--or I didn't really get to know God-- or what it meant to really fall onto your knees [in prayer] until I could only fall on my knees and prayer. So that relationship changed for me and went beyond being a ritual to being a real relationship and that has meant the world to me.
"My relationship with God is a relationship with 'the only Father I've known.' It's been something that's grounded me, sustained me, and saved me. It's meant everything to me."
For more of Robin, follow her on Instagram. And catch new episodes of Ambitions every Tuesday night at 10/9c, only on OWN.
*Some answers have been condensed and edited for clarity.
Featured image by Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Love On The Brain: What Science Says Loving Someone Does To You Mentally
I dig science. A big part of the reason why is because I really enjoy researching the “whys” of things. While my father always liked that about me, my mother oftentimes had something slick to say about it (that’s another message for another time, chile). To me, it’s whatever. For better or for worse, I’m simply not someone who accepts that the sky is blue “just because” — put it on my daddy’s DNA, I guess; with no apologies in place, I almost always want to know why something is the way that it is.
And since I spend so much of my time working with couples and writing on relationships, I’m sure no one is shocked that I’ve done my due diligence when it comes to figuring out what is really going on in the minds of humans whenever they are hyped about being in love. While on the surface level, it might seem like I’m being cynical, I’m actually not. It’s more about…well, again, I’ve been working with couples and writing about relationships for so long at this point that I think it’s important for folks to know the difference between an “emotional surge” and a truly wise love decision — and being aware of the role that the brain plays when we think that we’re in love with someone? That can help to bring some perspective and clarity into all of this.
So, whether you’re in something new and you’re currently on cloud nine, you’ve been in something for a while now and you’re wondering if you’ve “lost that loving feeling” or if you’re borderline on the verge of self-sabotage or, you’re like me, and you simply like to know random information just because — I’ve got 10 things that might be of interest to you as far as what science says love can literally do to you on the mental tip.
It’s fascinating stuff, indeed.
1. Dopamine Gets Activated
It’s pretty interesting thatdopamine is a type of neurotransmitter that plays a significant role in things like how you are able to experience pleasure or create memories because both of those are quite relevant when you’re in love with someone. Well, according to science, when you feel like you truly love an individual, dopamine gets activated on a whole ‘nother level to the point where you not only feel euphoric but,it’s at the level of what alcohol or a cocaine high can produce (have mercy!) I’m not exaggerating, either.
In fact, Medical News Today once published an article entitled, “Falling In Love Hits The Brain Like Cocaine Does.” Hmm…makes you wonder if some people run up outta there marriages, not because there’s really anything “wrong”; it’s just that they have crashed from their “cocaine high” and no one prepared them for how to handle it (get into premarital counseling, engaged folks; it makes all the difference in the world!). Also,as far as dopamine goes, when men are “falling” for a woman, it’s dopamine and vasopressin that increase, while, for women, it’s dopamine and oxytocin. During sex, vasopressin drops in men, while oxytocin increases when a woman climaxes. The more you know.2. Euphoria Increases
Let’s go a little bit deeper into the whole euphoria thing. At the end of the day, euphoria is about intensity. I mean, a part of the reason whythe series Euphoria has been so popular (and jarring) is that it showshow drug abuse can put people into a euphoric state — at first in a pleasurable way and eventually on a devastating level. When it comes to love, some experts say that three stages transpire when you feel like you’re in a love-related euphoric state:arousal, attraction, and attachment. And you know what? If you aren’t intentional about doing what Ben Franklin once said (“If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”), you could find yourself being on a roller coaster of emotions without having a relationship that consists of much stability. Yeah, euphoria increasing can be problematic as hell if you don’t get all of what comes with that.
3. Oxytocin Surges
When it comes to the articles that I’ve written on love, sex, and relationships on this platform, I don’t know if there’sany hormone that I’ve shouted out more than oxytocin. That’s because there are countless amounts of intel supporting the fact thatit bonds people through things like hand-holding, cuddling, kissing, and definitely sex. That’s whysome experts say that oxytocin can cause people to become “single-minded” about a person, it cancultivate feelings of trust, and it can literallycreate physiological changes that cause you to seek out your love interest.
This is a part of the reason why, when people declare that they are “in love” after say, a one-night stand, my mind immediately thinks, “Eh. Sounds more like an oxytocin surge.” You don’t know them well enough to love them; you can “love” how they make you feel, though. It’s essential to know the difference.
4. Fear Decreases
Now, this is an interesting one. Something else that science says happens when people are in love is the neural pathway that is associated with things like fear and judgment. It actually deactivates itself (chile…CHILE). Yep, some studies reveal that the part of your brain that encourages you to make “critical assessments” of individuals. When you feel like you love them, that shuts down. As a direct result, in walks the rose-colored glasses, and out goes the red flags. And that’s why, when I recently read that a particular actor didn’t heed some warnings from her friends regarding her new relationship, I literally shook my damn head.
When you’re all in love, especially in the beginning stages, having folks around who don’t feel the same ways about the person as you do can actually help you out in the long run, so long as they are good friends with a solid track record, they are going to notice some things that your neural pathway is keeping you from paying close attention to. Yeah, y’all be careful out there.
5. Your Prefrontal Cortex Slows Down
Speaking of desensitized senses, something else that transpires when you’re caught up in someone isyour prefrontal cortex becomes sluggish. Why is this problematic? Well, that’s where the logical part of your brain is housed. This means that when you love someone, you may not be the best at making sound and practical decisions. Although I don’t agree with an article that said this means that love is illogical (love is sound, sane, and stable; it’s folks who jack relationships up…not love), I do think all of this is a reminder that you must rely on more than just how someone makes you feel when you’re trying to decide who to build a life with. Moving on.
6. Your Hypothalamus Revs Up Your Sex Hormones
I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t know too many people who aren’t attracted to the object of their love and affection. And so, when you do fall in love, something else that happens isthe part of your brain known as the hypothalamus stimulates your ovaries while it also stimulates your man’s testicles — and that is what makes you feel an overwhelming feeling of desire (i.e., lust) for your partner.
7. Your Brain’s “Reward Circuit” Lights All the Way Up
Speaking of longing for your partner, three parts of your brain — the amygdala, the hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex — are known as its “reward circuit,” and whenever you even speak about your bae, this is the part of your brain that lights up like a Christmas tree. Something that’s really interesting about this particular point is, that while this is happening, your serotonin levels typically drop.
Why does this matter? Well, serotonin helps to keep your anxiety levels in balance, and it also helps you to regulate your appetite(s). This would automatically cause me to believe that people who struggle with love addiction probably have a low level of serotonin operating in their system.
Oh, speaking of serotonin, although you may never think to get your hormone levels checked strictly to learn more about how you’re acting/reacting in your romantic relationship,I also found it interesting that people who have more dopamine in their system tend to take more risks when it comes to love while those who have more serotonin are usually far more cautious. Meaning, that how you are in your relationship(s) may not be just about your personality; your hormone levels tend to have a say as well.
8. Your Anterior Cingulate Cortex May Make You Obsessive
Your anterior cingulate cortex is the part of your brain that’s associated with things likemotivation and action. Anyway, since overactivity in this part of the brain is oftentimes linked to things like obsessive-compulsive disorder,some researchers believe that the reason why some people seem to think obsessively about their partner, almost to the point of obsession, if they don’t stay on top of it, is because of how their brain reacts to their attachment to their partner.For the record, this is also the part of your brain that literally lights up whenever you see your partner, too.
9. Vagus Nerves “Sync Up”
Your vagus nerves are a part of your nervous system that starts at your brain and runs through your digestive tract. This makes them an integral part of things like your immunity, your speech, your moods, and your heart rate. As far as your brain goes, some studies reveal that after a couple has been together for a longer period of time, it’s not uncommon for their vagus nerves to “sync up” in the sense of having similar facial expressions and hand gestures being and even their hearts starting to beat at the same pace.As a direct result, the syncing makes it easier for both individuals to make sacrifices for one another in order to remain together. Share that with your grandparents the next time you see them. #wink
10. If You’ve Been Together for a While, Your Angular Gyrus Becomes Stronger
Speaking of longevity, another perk that comes with couples who choose to go the distance is the part of their brain known astheir angular gyrus becomes more active. What’s actually sweet about this is that not only is this what makes it easier for you to learn complex languages, but you can also start to anticipate your partner’s actions with it too. As a direct result, science says that many couples can finish each other’s sentences — and it’s all because their angular gyrus has gotten stronger as a result of them staying committed.
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After reading all of this, how could anyone possibly look at being in love casually? There are far too many intricate parts at work — yes, literally. Yeah, when Rihanna sang about having “love on the brain,” she said more than a mouthful…whether she realized it or not.
And if you declare that you are in love, make sure to factor in what your brain is going through. Then choose wisely. Even your brain and mental health depend on it. Also…literally.
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