As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Rachel James' story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
A few weeks ago, I was watching Alicia Keys host the 2020 Grammys while wearing my brand.
One of the largest artists in the world was real-life modeling this Chicago girl's wildest dream in front of millions, on one of the country's most historically prominent award shows. What a beautifully major moment for my entire team. I've hustled for so long for that moment, I've worked so hard. I'm still amazed by every milestone.
And my parents were pretty geeked, too.
A Star Is Born
Let me introduce myself: I am Rachel James—a learner, a wanderer, a lover, a fighter and way too blunt at times—a true Sagittarius. I'm a dreamer simply trying my best to teach my sons everything I can, put my life into my work, and have the best time doing both.
My business is Pear Nova, a vegan, cruelty-free lacquer brand based in Chicago. Pear Nova is, in essence, a combination of my experiences—clothes I've worn, art I've admired, music I've danced to, foods I've tasted, countries I've traveled to and women I've wanted to be like all bottled up—full pun intended. We've somehow managed to translate hustle into success, and have now been worn, and mentioned, by some of our industry faves.
Alchemy.
Image Courtesy of Pear Nova
I've always known that I would somehow be working in the fashion industry, and nail polish turned out to be the perfect little accessory that sat between the beauty and fashion world. I remember my last day of fashion merchandising school; I was 7 or 8 months pregnant with my second-born, giving a marketing presentation on a fake brand for my final. My professor was so blown away that all of the feedback literally awakened the entrepreneur in me. That very day, I went home, googled "how to start a nail polish line," and began building my business.
Defining Herstory
I grew up in the south suburbs of Chicago with my parents and brothers. From an early age, I witnessed what hard work actually looked like, as my dad went from working as a janitor to becoming a principal, and my mom, assistant to VP. They taught each of us money management, standard practices of business, and going after our passions. I would always run behind my brothers, laughing and trying to keep up. In school, I was loud, outward, and always trying to figure out ways to make money so I could buy lip gloss. It's funny to think about how I was all about my business, even then.
Pear Nova was unfortunately born through tragedy. I named my company after my late sister-in-love, Nova (who we aren't blessed to experience anymore due to domestic violence). I began googling one day and came across a nova pear tree, which is known to withstand extreme temperature. It was so fitting for both Nova, and what I was creating. It was perfect.
From there, what seemed like an overnight success to you, had been a decade in the making for me. Now, we've built our portfolio and have been featured in Essence, Vogue, ALLURE, and more. We bought a full studio space, invited some techs to do nails, and created a full-service beauty lounge.
The Truth About Entrepreneurship
Has the success been trying at times? C'mon guys, of course. Everything you've heard about entrepreneurship is true, ten times over. I'm often asked for advice I would give to women who are pursuing the next step in their career journey, and there's plenty. And I'm forever open to feeding queens.
At Pear Nova, we even make it a point to speak life into our customers through polish names:
B Positive
The time to start is now. I don't know about you but I look for black women-owned businesses to give my money to. So, please do something EVERY SINGLE DAY that will get you closer to entrepreneurship because we need you, ladies. We need your vision.
Cleo F*ckin Patra
You have to strongly believe in your own crazy. Learn to trust and fall into your madness. Welcome your fears. Tell them to get comfortable because they aren't going anywhere. You will just learn to work through them.
Diana Boss
Being a creative that happened to end up an entrepreneur, as someone who likes to sit alone in their own magical bubble with their head up in the sky generating ideas and creating, you have to pop the damn bubble and be open to learning every other aspect about entrepreneurship. I thought, Oh, I'll just make all these dope things! And then it was like, No, girl. Order those books on marketing, branding, and accounting too.
Frida Be Free
I'm speaking to myself and all introverts when I say this: step way out of your comfort zone and connect with more people! You're already going to get where the universe sees fit, but connections will get you there much quicker. And always remember that absolutely nothing is personal in business.
—
The Real Me
When I'm overwhelmed, honestly, I cry. That's just the truth. I actually cried about two hours ago... Afterwards, I take a break from anything that's contributing to that feeling.
But after a 12-hour work day, and an evening with my kids, I'm simply exhausted, but I know I kicked ass that day—
That's when I'm at my most fulfilled.
Image Courtesy of Pear Nova Studio
I love to meditate and I love to write. I'm currently writing a journal for my children to read one day. I'll let them know what is happening and what I learned at that moment. It's killing two birds with one stone because it serves as a release for me, and more wisdom for them.
For 2020, I plan to release new classic lacquers, gel lacquers, and a brand new beauty product for Pear Nova. I'm going to make Pear Nova Studio the top beauty lounge in Chicago. I plan to grow more meaningful business relationships and utilize my social media more (ugh, I low-key hate social media). The fact that manicurists rarely get credited for their work is an industry pet peeve of mine, so I plan to lead the culture in being a part of that change. And personally, I just really want to be better at forgiveness, so I'll be working on projecting a more forgivable energy into the universe.
I have so many ideas and things that I want to do—a lip lacquer collection being next. I actually haven't told anyone that yet but now that I have, it's for real, for real. Thankfully, my team and I, we always figure it out. We always find a way to make it happen.
It's crazy because both my ideas, and the ocean, are what scare me more than anything. It's the unknown that's both terrifying and captivating.
But I always manage to be the first to jump right in.
To keep up with Rachel, you may follow her on Instagram. You may also visit Pear Nova Studio's Chicago location for beauty services, or shop polishes by visiting their website.
If you have a story you'd like to share, but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact as at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for a chance for your story to be featured.
Featured image by Charles Andre' Thomas
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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