

I felt my husband’s leg tapping underneath the table, and I calmly put my hand on top of it. The doctor on the other side of the screen had just matter-of-factly told us that the likelihood of us having a child “the natural way” was slim to none and immediately recommended IVF.
“I’m going to have a financial counselor call you as early as next week.”
The call was quick. The doctor didn’t extend any empathy or any type of emotion - but I also didn’t know what to expect. The abrupt push for IVF didn’t feel right at the moment - I did know that.
I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was September of 2020, a few days shy of my oldest daughter’s 11th birthday, and we were still knee-deep in COVID, so all non-life-threatening appointments were virtual.
We had been trying for a baby for a year (as most doctors will tell you, that is the length of time to try for a baby before seeking medical attention), and nothing was budging. We moved to Dallas in May of 2020, and one of the first things I did was find Black practitioners to help me along this baby-making journey.
I found a Black female OBGYN who I thought was a sound choice, but after sharing my history of ovarian cyst bursts and learning that I had two small polyps in my uterus, she proceeded to tell me:
“I don’t feel the need to remove them, but if you were to get pregnant and possibly miscarriage, then I would go in to remove them.”
I was stunned. If you know I am actively trying for a baby, and you know there is something inside of me that could potentially prohibit that from happening, why would you fix your lips to say that to me?!
Needless to say, that was the last time I ever saw that doctor, and I immediately went on a search for a new OBGYN. Little did I know that was going to be one of the many times when I had to actively advocate for myself throughout this fertility journey.
Ironically, this OBGYN recommended the fertility specialist who laid the very harsh news on me and my husband that following September. While IVF may have been our only option, I knew in my spirit that this doctor wouldn’t be the right choice to walk along this journey with. We needed someone to deliver facts as well as empathy and compassion.
I didn’t want to feel like just another number. Another line item. After processing what was said and allowing my husband and myself to have a moment, I immediately started looking for a second opinion.
Always.
Always.
Always.
Get a second opinion.
My Marriage
Witnessing my husband’s response was gut-wrenching for me. I am grateful to have a partner who has never been ashamed of expressing his feelings, but I feel as though I saw hope leave his eyes. It was a lot to take in. Not just learning that we would need medical intervention to maybe have a child of our own (because there is no guarantee with IVF), but that he had also spent the past 6 years helping me raise my daughter - a little girl he claimed but shared no genes with.
“However long you need to process. Take your time. But whatever you do, please promise me that you won’t give up. That is all I ask.”
This is what I expressed to him at the moment and continued to express leading up to our actual IVF journey.
He honored that.
Starting IVF
We ended up getting a second opinion, and it affirmed what the initial doctor had told us, but this doctor was more compassionate in her facts and her language. I felt safe in her care, and we began discussing the next steps.
This included contacting my insurance company to see what all was covered on their end and how much we would have to come out of pocket. I can’t even begin to count how many times I called to speak with a rep or put in a request to chat with them through the chat box and save the transcript to ensure I was getting told the same thing from each rep.
I learned that all of our diagnostic testing was covered:
- Sonohysterogram
- Hysteroscopy
- Hysterosalpingogram (HSG)
- Ovarian Reserve Testing
- Semen Analysis
This doctor even removed those small polyps from my uterus that the previous doctor opted not to do.
“This journey costs way too much money to have anything that we can easily remove stand in the way of progress.”
Say less, doctor, say less.
Unfortunately, that is where the grace stopped with insurance. The diagnostic testing was the only thing that was covered. To actually begin IVF, we would have to come up with $20,000 for the cycle, PLUS another $5,000 to get our embryos tested if that is what we wanted.
We did not have that type of money.
But as of January 25, 2021, none of this would matter.
I was rushed to the hospital for what I now know to be my very first IBD flare. After a four-day emergency hospital stay and a colonoscopy, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called ulcerative colitis - the most common type of inflammatory bowel disease that causes inflammation in the colon.
“I understand that you are trying for a baby, but I strongly suggest you prioritize getting into remission before starting your IVF cycle,” my gastroenterologist recommended at the time.
Although my head understood the practicality of it all, this felt like a blow to my heart and spirit. This felt like another speed bump on our journey to have a baby - on top of the infertility speed bump we still hadn’t gotten over.
But I took heed to her words and did just that. I completely changed my diet, added supplements to my daily regimen, joined the gym, and did my best to keep my stress down.
I also took this time to lean into my marriage and my baby girl, who was alive and well and getting ready to start middle school. In hindsight, it felt good to not be fixated on IVF, even if just for a moment.
The road to remission would take me the remainder of 2021 but in true “God be knowing” fashion, I would end up securing a new job this same year with insurance that would cover my entire IVF cycle PLUS meds.
Courtesy
I remember how I felt when the box of injection meds showed up on my doorstep. I anticipated the delivery but also couldn’t believe we were actually getting started. We were officially approved for our IVF cycle in January of 2022, and I was set to begin taking injections that following day.
It was a mixture of five meds that needed to be taken at the exact same time every single day for 12 weeks.
Every.
Single.
Day.
My husband and I watched the tutorials on how to mix the meds and the ideal injection site to prevent lump bruising.
I was excited but equally nervous because what if I was doing all of this to my body and we didn’t get the outcome we desired?
Courtesy
In March 2022, I had my egg retrieval, which turned into seven healthy embryos.
On May 17, 2022, I had a successful embryo transfer.
Courtesy
On days 6 and 8 post-embryo transfer, just a few days away from going back to the clinic to see if I was, in fact, pregnant, I purchased two pregnancy tests, and both of them had positive results.
Courtesy
When we did finally go back to the fertility clinic, my blood test only confirmed what the at-home tests read. We were pregnant!
We’re Expecting
This exciting news didn’t come without its own scares.
Trigger Warning:
When we were seven weeks along, one day before we were scheduled to hear the heartbeat, I experienced what I now know to be a subchorionic hemorrhage (hematoma). A subchorionic hematoma is when blood forms between a baby's amniotic sac and the uterine wall.
I was on a flight back home from a work trip, and as soon as I stood up to deplane, I felt a rush of liquid in my pants. I went to the restroom and believed I was miscarrying.
Our first appointment since our pregnancy was confirmed the next morning, and I was believing the worst, but when we put the ultrasound wand on my belly, we heard the most beautiful sound. Our baby was doing just fine.
Our doctor confirmed the hematoma and ordered pelvic rest as, unfortunately, there is no resolve for subchorionic hemorrhages. It happens in about ⅕ of pregnancies, and while they don’t cause serious health conditions for the mom, they can cause miscarriages. These are even more common in IVF pregnancies.
This same afternoon, after returning home from our appointment, my body would have another episode. I just knew this time we had lost our baby. I found an after-hours facility that provided ultrasounds by appointment, and we went to check on our baby.
Again, our baby was doing just fine, and the heartbeat was strong. As the doctor said before, pelvic rest and be patient.
Prayer Warriors + Intercessors
Outside of a select few family members and close friends, we kept this journey close to the vest.
I didn’t feel as though sharing openly would necessarily jinx our process, but I knew I wouldn’t want those who would pray for us at the drop of a dime and meant us well to be in on the intimate details.
Between these few people and Facebook Infertility Support Groups, this was our saving grace.I knew how important having a community was throughout this process, specifically amongst those walking the same path as us. To this day, I am still involved in these support groups and share insight with those moms at the beginning of their journey.
Love at First Sight
On January 26, 2023, at 7:17 a.m., our miracle child, Demi Rae, was born right on our living room floor.
Now, that wasn’t the initial plan, but I knew we wouldn’t make it to the hospital. From my water breaking to her making it earthside, she was here in a total of 15 minutes, right in her daddy’s arms.
It was perfect.
Courtesy
My original desire for delivery this second time around was to give birth at home, but my anxiety convinced me otherwise. I had a doula and found a midwifery company that walked us through our birth plan, and even though nothing went according to plan, I am grateful for my birth team.
Our doula walked us through best-case and not-so-best-case scenarios. Meaning, that if we didn’t make it to the hospital, we would be prepared to confidently and safely bring her into the world.
As I am on all fours in the living room, my husband has our doula on the phone along with the paramedics to guide us through this tender moment. But to welcome our baby girl into this world with just him and I was a level of intimacy I am so grateful for and wouldn’t have had it any other way.
We went from being told we wouldn’t have our own biological child to constantly redirecting a soon-to-be two-year-old from slapping folks every time she doesn’t get her way. Life does come at you quick.
Demi is such a happy child and brought so much energy into our home, and to see the relationship between my two girls growing every day does my heart well.
Courtesy
I never thought IVF was going to be a part of our story, but now that we are on the other side, I make it a point to share our story and hold space for other couples (especially couples of color) who are fearful of infertility diagnosis and need to see that IVF can be an option for them too. It is not ideal, I get it, but it can be a solution.
In June of 2024, in honor of Infertility Awareness Week, I hosted a panel of other women who have gone through IVF (both successfully and unsuccessfully) to share their experience and give their insight into what their life is like now as well as a Q+A with a well-known infertility doctor for community members to have direct access to a medical professional.
Courtesy
Seeing other Black women in the fertility space normalized the journey for me, and I want to be a resource for others like the women in these support groups have been for me.
Prayers to the couples who are experiencing infertility and feel saddened, angry, and lost. I get it. I truly do. But this does not have to be the end all be all.
Talk to a therapist.
Consult with your insurance company to see what is covered if you are going the IVF route.
Join support groups like Black Women TTC and Black Women and Infertility.
Schedule a consult with a fertility doctor to learn all your options (and get a second opinion).
Get a workup done to learn your health status all around.
Pray.
Stay encouraged.
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Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Recently, a client and I were discussing the fact that she really missed her husband. Yes, they are together and yes, they share the same home and bed. They even have a pretty consistent (and fulfilling) sex life. The issue is that she is missing a certain kind of intimacy: kissing.
As I asked her to expound further, she basically said that, with both of their schedules being so tight, and with them also both knowing “which buttons to push” in order to get each other off, they hadn’t been losing themselves in foreplay like they used to — and one of her favorite parts of that is kissing. I get it. Kissing is endearing. Kissing is romantic. Kissing is also sexy AF. Few things can compare to a really good kiss, y’all. Whew.
That said, you should PayPal her for the inspiration that she provided when it comes to me penning this article because, with Valentine’s Day being on the horizon, I personally don’t know if the art of kissing is mentioned nearly enough because a day that is filled with well-placed and purposeful kisses? It doesn’t get much better than that.
And so, here it is. If you want to express how deeply you care for someone special this year, although dates and coitus are awesome, please don’t underestimate the power of a really good kiss. Especially an erotic kiss.
I’ll explain.
Why Do We Like to Kiss So Much?
Kissing is a big deal to me. I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Y’all, it’s so crucial over this way that I once stayed in a relationship longer than I probably should’ve because the kissing (and sex while kissing; that’s an unsung art too) was so damn good. Hmph. I also (finally) ended a relationship that had some good points because the guy was HORRIBLE at kissing (especially kissing during sex; I’m not alone on this either. I once read that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women ended things with someone because they sucked at kissing).
And while I was sitting down to pen this, both of those situations got me to wondering why we (well, at least most of us — check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”) enjoy kissing so much. Sure, it feels good but there’s got to be more behind why most of us are totally down for a passionate kiss — anytime, anyplace.
Well, from a research standpoint, first there’s the fact that our lips are some of the most sensitive parts of our body, thanks to the abundance of nerve endings that are in them. That is actually a part of the reason why lips are considered to be such a powerful erogenous zone. Then there are some scientists who say that kissing is what helps us to literally “sniff out” and select potential partners. How? Well, since scent helps to arouse pheromones and, next to sex, kissing is about as close as you can get to someone else; when you really stop to think about it, that makes all of the sense in the world.
Then there’s saliva. The hormones and compounds in it actually help the brain to process who may be a complementary fit (including who you would be a good match to conceive children with — wild, right?). There’s even a study that revealed that the reason why men are quicker to want to French kiss— you know, kissing with tongues touching — than women (typically) is due to their higher testosterone levels; ones that, in a kiss, can help to heighten a woman’s libido.
Plus, some data states that the love/bonding hormone known as oxytocin increases during a kiss which causes us to feel closer to the person who we are kissing. Also, kissing can increase the feel-good hormone dopamine in your system, which is why the act oftentimes creates warm-‘n-fuzzy feelings whenever you’re sharing a smooch. So, when it comes to science, it is quite apparent that an intimate kiss isn’t just…a kiss.
How Kissing Benefits You
Okay, so now that you know why a kiss is able to draw you in from a science standpoint, let’s briefly touch on what some of its health benefits are. Were you aware of the fact that kissing helps to:
- Decrease stress and anxiety
- Strengthen immunity
- Soothe headaches and cramp discomfort
- Lower allergy reactions to pollen and dust mites
- Improve cholesterol levels
- Increase blood flow
- Reduce tooth decay
- Tone your facial muscles
- Burn calories
- Improve self-esteem
Yep, every time that you lean in for an intimate kiss, it’s not just good for your mental and emotional well-being, your physical health is able to get in on the benefits too. And then, if it’s an erotic kiss? LISTEN.
What Is an “Erotic Kiss”?
So, what exactly is the difference between a kiss and an erotic kiss? Let’s start with what erotic actually means. Something that’s erotic is sexy. Something that’s erotic is sensual. Something that’s erotic is passionate. Something that’s erotic is amatory which means that it’s directly related to sexual love. Something that’s erotic is romantic, steamy, and hella seductive. And so, if you’re going to give someone an erotic kiss, it must be with these words — and this type of energy — in mind.
Let’s keep going. When I was reading Well + Good’s article, “These 19 Kissing Types Prove Lips Can Do Way More Than Just Pecks,” kisses like pecks, closed-mouth kisses, and kisses on the hand, in my mind, definitely didn’t “scratch the itch” when it comes to what an erotic kiss is and does. To me, French kisses, kisses on the neck (including hickeys), and kisses on your favorite erogenous zones fit the bill far more.
Why? Because a kiss that ultimately stimulates sexual activity — that is what an erotic kiss is all about and as I was doing more research on the topic, do you know what seemed to be a common thread? If you want to be a master at erotic kissing,the tongue needs to be heavily involved. Why is that?
Well, a kiss that involves the tongue is sexiest by far because, when the tongue is used, it helps to increase your and your partner’s sensory stimulation levels. When this happens, even more nerve endings are involved and that, along with what the exchange of saliva brings to the table — whew, chile.
Then there’s the fact that — well, let’s not act like tongue kissing doesn’t mimic intercourse in some ways. Mouths are wet. We (as women when we are aroused) are wet. Tongues penetrate mouths. Penises penetrate us. And doing an act simulates a peak intimacy one, that is definitely EROTIC (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”).
So yeah, y’all, if you want to engage in a truly authentic erotic kiss, tongue action needs to happen: kissing in the mouth and involving your tongue and also using your tongue to kiss, lick, enjoy other areas as well — earlobes, collar bones, shoulders, backs…and…anywhere else that stimulates you (and your partner). Make sure it’s hot. Make sure it’s lust-filled. Make sure it’s memorable.
How to Be an Unforgettable Erotic Kisser
Providing you with some facts about kissing wasn’t the only reason why I wanted to pen this, just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s also because, as I’ve said in a couple of other articles before, there is such a thing as a kissing orgasm — and if you’ve never experienced one before, there is certainly no time like the present to do so…and (probably) the best way to get there is through an erotic kiss.
And here’s the thing: Even though an erotic kiss is sho ‘nuf a gateway drug to oral sex and intercourse if you want to get a bit more creative, there is data to back up that you can have an orgasm without your breasts or genitalia being (directly) involved. A kiss — the right kind of kiss — can make that happen too; especially if you follow the following five tips:
1. Go slow. Even though I’ve always found the phrase “make out” to be sort of corny, it does kind of fit when it comes to this article. You know, I’ve shared before that when it comes to the average time that most people want to spend experiencing intercourse, it’s 7-13 minutes; however, something that is both sweet and sensual about making out is, because there is not “set goal” (like an orgasm), there also is no rush. You’re kissing and enjoying each other, pretty much “just because” — and that is a great basis for experiencing an erotic kiss. Just soaking in your partner’s presence. No more, no less.
2. Work your “muscle.” By here, I mean your tongue, everyone (LOL). Gently. Seductively. Intentionally. And get creative too. This tip is not just about the classic French kiss. Lick lips. Lick earlobes. Lick necks. Find ways to use your tongue to turn your partner on without bringing genitalia into the picture as well. Yeah, there’s no doubt that one of the reasons why an erotic kiss is so supreme is because it finds places beyond the obvious to cultivate — not just sexual stimulation but emotional intimacy as well.
3. Enhance the “flavor.” I’m always going to be a fan of sex condiments (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”) and y’all, kissing with a bit of honey or chocolate syrup on your lips? Need I say more? I think not.
5. “Dance.” Something that I don’t think is said enough is kissing is a lot like dancing. There is a “rhythm” to it. Without speaking, couples are communicating. And the longer you do it, all the while paying attention to what your partner is doing, a signature groove can be found. While writing this, I thought about the best kisses I’ve ever had in my life and definitely what made them memorable is the fact that my kissing partner wanted me to really and fully experience them and I felt the same — and the more that happened, the more intensified the kissing got. Wanna have the ultimate erotic kiss? Treat it like a dance, chile.
5. Be in the moment. Then stay there. An erotic kiss is a lot like orgasmic meditation (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) in the sense that both encourage you to get into the moment and then stay there. There’s no pressure. There’s no agenda. There are simply two sets of lips and tongues and nothing but time. Erotic kissing simply encourages you to take full advantage of this fact.
___
An author by the name of Sylvia Plath once said, “Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” I’ve always liked that quote because it’s got so much confidence in it. She basically said that one kiss from her and you’ll grasp just how significant, to you, she actually is. And gee, won’t that preach?
This Valentine’s Day, kiss your partner with that kind of resolve in mind.
Take it up a notch by making sure that it’s erotic.
It’ll be hard to forget you or this Valentine’s Day if you do.
I can damn near guarantee it.
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