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How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks about love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Two can play in the game called love and this couple won the jackpot. 10 years ago, Tiffany and Rhamel met each other their freshman year in college. They instantly became best friends and have been inseparable ever since. It wasn't until one Sunday afternoon of frozen drinks and games with friends, that Tiffany would go from girlfriend status to a fiance. Rhamel states "Tiffany is a really hard person to surprise. So I wanted her to be in her most natural element when I proposed to her." That day, Rhamel planned to trick Tiffany with a game of Heads Up to pop the big question. As Tiffany was going through each topic, her friends helped her get to the "winning answers" stating, "Will You Marry Me?". As you can imagine, Tiffany was completely confused to see that none of her answers were listed at the end of the game to win her points. But it wasn't until the moment she saw Rhamel on one knee behind that she realized she did win the game after all.
While being engaged is a huge next step for Tiffany and Rhamel, this couple truly values the foundation of their friendship. They both understand that dating your best friend is a blessing. You are able to be vulnerable with one another and support each other through hard times. You are able to see each other's imperfections and still see them perfect in your eyes with zero judgement or expectations. For my people out there, if you do have a person that you consider your best friend, it's important to keep them around for the long haul. There are many possibilities of what that friendship could blossom into.
Tiffany and Rhamel believe in taking that leap of faith from friendship to dating because at the end of the day, you have someone to venture through life with and there is no better feeling. Rhamel mentions, "You really have to decide if this person is someone you just can't live without. You can't let fear get in the way of something potentially happening for the better."
Courtesy of Tiffany Goodwin
In this installment of xoNecole's How We Met, the marketing manager and professional basketball player shares how their love grew from friendship and the lessons they have learned along the way.
How We Met
Rhamel: We actually met in college on the first day of school. I remember seeing her walking towards the elevator. I was excited because she was a girl that wasn't on the basketball team, so I thought it was cool to see more black people on campus that weren't in sports that I could possibly get to know. Growing up, I was very shy, but I wanted to walk up to her and introduce myself. Once we started talking, we became really cool from there and the rest is history.
Tiffany: Yeah, it was the first day of school and I was walking towards the elevator when Rhamel stopped me. I thought to myself, this guy is probably one of the tallest people I have ever met (laughs). When we met, I noticed that Rhamel was a little shyer than his other friends, but still really nice. It wasn't until the first Monday of classes when I walked into Sociology class, I saw Rhamel sitting right there. I was surprised to see him (laughs). So I sat right behind him and joked that he was going to be my new best friend (smiles).
Courtship
Rhamel: We never really established when our first date was. I just remember it was our senior year and I started to notice things were changing between us. I was kind of hesitant at first because we were best friends and I didn't want to mess that up. But I remember that year on December 23, I made my move and I kissed her.
Tiffany: We were really best friends to the point where I was attached to his hip (laughs). So our senior year, I think God and the Universe just sent the sign to us to take things to the next level. So that day in December, we were out having drinks and Rhamel looked me in my eyes and said, "I have something to tell you." I was a little nervous about what he was going to say. But then he said, "I can show you better than I can tell you," and he just kissed me. I was shocked. Everything started to transition after that, but we really wanted to make sure what that looked like without ruining the foundation of our friendship.
"I think God and the Universe just sent the sign to us to take things to the next level. That day in December, we were out having drinks and Rhamel looked me in my eyes and said, 'I have something to tell you.' I was a little nervous about what he was going to say. But then he said, 'I can show you better than I can tell you,' and he just kissed me."
Courtesy of Tiffany Goodwin
The Proposal
Rhamel: Tiffany is a really hard person to surprise. So I wanted her to be in her most natural element when I proposed to her. I thought about what we always do at home. We aren't usually up under each other all day. We like to hang out with our friends and stuff. I figured the best way to do it was to act like it was just another day with our friends. We could play a game and then sneak a few things in. I chose the game Heads Up because it's a good way where our friends could tell her anything and she would have no clue. Tiffany is super competitive too, so she would just be focusing on winning (laughs).
Tiffany: That day was such a beautiful day. For some background, we are from New York originally, but moved to New Jersey for my job, so we would visit my family in New York to spend time with my mom, sister, and best friend. So I just thought that that day was just another Sunday. To throw me off a little bit, they kept making drinks (laughs) because I am usually really good at sensing little things here and there. Another thing that threw me off was I thought my mom wasn't in town.
Rhamel knows that if I would want anyone in the world to be present at a moment like this, it would be my mom. So my mom was in the Hamptons that weekend, but little did I know, she drove back for the proposal one or two hours before it happened and hid at my best friend's house. When he proposed I was so thrown off, but it was absolutely perfect. He told me, "I told you I was gonna get you." And he really did get me (laughs).
Favorite Things
Rhamel: My favorite thing about Tiffany is her heart. She is one of the few people that you meet in your lifetime that is sweet and truly genuine. Some people who don't know Tiffany misunderstand her because she comes off strong. But honestly, I love that about her because I never have to second-guess the type of person she is or what her intentions are. You don't find a person like that all the time. I'm down for her 100 percent.
Tiffany: From day one, I have admired Rhamel's strength. With the things he has been through, other people wouldn't have been able to handle those situations with the grace and style like he did. He has a way of overcoming adversity and that is so powerful. He really encourages me to keep fighting and to keep going. Rhamel has really shaped what strong really means for me.
"My favorite thing about Tiffany is her heart. She is one of the few people that you meet in your lifetime that is sweet and truly genuine. I never have to second-guess the type of person she is or what her intentions are. You don't find a person like that all the time. I'm down for her 100 percent."
Early Challenges
Rhamel: The biggest challenge was the timing when we were transitioning from friendship to partners. We were about to graduate college and see what was going to happen next for us. With me being a basketball player, I didn't know what "next" meant at that point. Career-wise, being a basketball player, especially overseas, is very unstable. So with that, Tiffany and I weren't able to connect the way we wanted to when school was over because of the distance and everything.
Tiffany: I'll admit it was difficult. At the time, we probably didn't realize it, but the circumstances were exactly what we needed for us to recognize that we had the tools and resources already to really make this work. We didn't see each other for eight months after college since he was overseas and I was still trying to figure my life out. But we overcame that by being very adamant on consistent communication and being intentional about scheduling that time with each other.
Courtesy of Tiffany Goodwin
Lessons Learned
Tiffany: In 2013, I was clinically diagnosed with depression. To say that I have a rock is an understatement when it comes to being with Rhamel. Earlier on, it was very rough trying to recognize my triggers and figure out positive coping mechanisms. Just trying to find what could help me live with my diagnosis was a lot. But Rhamel has helped me to not view my diagnosis as a curse, but a gift to help others who also deal with depression. Other people may view me as flawed or broken, but Rhamel makes sure that I am seen and heard. If God meant to place someone in my life to be on this journey with me, He placed the most perfect person when he brought me Rhamel. So the biggest lesson I've learned from him is that who I am authentically is very beautiful.
Rhamel: Similar to Tiffany, I've learned to be authentically myself because of her. Growing up, it was hard to truly be myself and to feel accepted. I didn't know how much that affected me when I got older and Tiffany helped me with that. Tiffany and I wouldn't have been able to grow and love each other the way we do now, if we weren't able to fully be ourselves with one another. Nobody is perfect and there is no reason to pretend to be perfect with someone you love. Be who you are and be the best version of it.
"Rhamel has helped me to not view my diagnosis as a curse, but a gift to help others who also deal with depression. Other people may view me as flawed or broken, but Rhamel makes sure that I am seen and heard. If God meant to place someone in my life to be on this journey with me, He placed the most perfect person when he brought me Rhamel."
Shared Values
Rhamel: Our shared values are honesty, openness, and supporting each other. As long as we are there for each other, we can figure anything out. It's all about having the right person by your side through the good and bad times. Life is an impossible battle to get through on your own and I think I have the best possible partner to get through life with.
Tiffany: Another value we have is to keep each other laughing. When you are dating your best friend, it's really just a competition on who's funnier (laughs). I'm getting there, but Rhamel is the true comedian.
For more about Tiffany and Rhamel, you can follow them on Instagram here.
Read more black love stories in xoNecole's "How We Met" series here.
Featured image courtesy of Tiffany Goodwin
One thing about me? Oh, I'm gonna eat some meat. While I don't do pork or shellfish, a steak, some salmon and some good 'old dark meat fried chicken can bring a smile to my face in a way that a lot of other foods simply cannot. That doesn't mean that I don't get that sometimes my body needs a break from "indulging in the flesh". When I choose to take one, I still prefer to eat something that has a bit of a meaty feel to it. And since I know that a lot of meat substitute products contain so much sodium and preservatives that I might as well stick to a cow, fish or chicken, I typically prefer to go a meat alternative route that is strictly a vegetable and then prepare it to my liking at home.
What? You didn't know that there are some vegetables that have a texture that is so close to meat that it can make going the vegetarian/vegan route—even if it's just temporarily—easier on your palate? Indeed, there are and if you've got a sec, I'll share with you 10 that top my personal list.
1. Portobello Mushrooms
Off top, whenever I want to take a break from meat while still wanting something that has a meaty texture to it, my automatic go-to is portobello mushrooms. They are probably my favorite hamburger stand-in, hands down. Matter of fact, the only reason why I don't eat them more often is because I've got a fungal sensitivity and well, mushrooms are a fungus. Anyway, on the health benefits tip, portobello mushrooms are cool because they contain Vitamin B, copper, fiber, selenium, antioxidants and anti-inflammatory compounds. As a bonus, they can help to lower your risk of getting cancer too. So, if you've got a craving for a sandwich and you want to chill on the meat tip, grill yourself a portobello. You won't regret it.
2. Jackfruit
If you were to go to your favorite search engine, right this second, and put "meat substitutes" in the search field, I'd be floored if you didn't see jackfruit come up in almost every article.
Even though it's a tropical fruit, a lot of people like to swap meat out for jackfruit because they find that its texture is similar to shredded meat. For the record, if you've never had jackfruit before, it has a mild sweet flavor.
And what are its health benefits? Jackfruit is a good source of protein and fiber. It's also got a fair amount of Vitamin C, magnesium, manganese, copper and potassium in it as well. Some other good reasons to give jackfruit a shot is it can help to lower your blood sugar levels, boost your immunity, strengthen your heart, ward off diseases and improve the quality of your skin too. Yep, jackfruit is that one.
3. Seitan
Let me just say that, off the top, when it comes to this one, if you've got a gluten allergy, just pass on by this suggestion. The reason why is because seiten is literally wheat gluten. The reason why some people like it as a meat alternative is because it has a texture that is quite reminiscent of meat protein. That said, if you're good with wheat, seiten can be beneficial because it is loaded with protein and is a pretty good source of selenium, iron and phosphorus with a dab of calcium and copper. Cutting it into slices like meat and preparing it is a popular route to take. So is grilling it in the summertime.
Try This: Vegan Meatballs Recipe (they're made with seitan)
4. Eggplant
Second in line for me, when it comes to meat substitutes, would have to be eggplant. Based on how you prepare it, it also can have a similar texture to meat. It contains a good amount of fiber, iron, antioxidants and plant compounds in it as well as a fair amount of manganese, potassium and folic acid. Eggplant is also good for you because it can help to reduce your risk of heart disease, it contains cancer-fighting properties, it can help you to lose weight and, because of the iron that's in it, eggplant can help to keep you from becoming anemic too. Dope.
Try This: Vegan Eggplant "Bacon" Recipe
5. Black Beans
Beans make the list. It's not that it has a texture like meat; it's just that, say you're making a Mexican dish that calls for something like ground beef. If you go with black beans instead, it's been my personal experience that you don't really miss the beef all that much. Black beans, nutrient-wise, have protein, fiber, iron, zinc, calcium, phosphorus, magnesium and manganese in them. All of these things work together to keep you regular, lower your blood pressure, fight heart disease, manage weight loss and, if you've got diabetes, black beans can help to lower your blood glucose levels too. So, pull out some tortillas and do some damage tonight.
Try This: Black Bean and Vegetable Burritos Recipe
6. Potatoes
Potatoes don't really have a meaty texture to them either. Still, if you want to prepare a vegetarian or vegan casserole, they can be a nice addition because nothing sticks to our ribs quite like meat AND potatoes do, right? Potatoes also have your back because they are full of protein and fiber. Plus, they contain vitamins B6 and C, potassium, manganese, phosphorus, folate, magnesium and antioxidants. Something that a lot of people like about potatoes is that they're gluten-free. Not only that, they are beneficial when it comes to maintaining your digestive health, reducing inflammation and, because potatoes have the amino acid L-tryptophan in them, they're a vegetable that can help to keep you calmer and more relaxed too. Shepherd's pie, anyone?
Try This: Beyond Beef Shepherd's Pie Recipe
7. Tempeh
Personally, I'm not the biggest soy fan, mostly because it seems to be the non-meat substitute that isn't consumed in moderation when it absolutely should be (a read worth checking out is "The Dangers of Soy"). If you happen to be a soy fan, though, tempeh is something worth checking out. Long story short, fermented soybeans, grains and beans are put together to create this product. The protein amount is high. The Vitamin B, iron, manganese, magnesium and phosphorus levels in it are good (there's some calcium in tempeh too). Health benefits include the fact that tempeh has prebiotics, it can help to reduce oxidative stress and promote bone health too. Not bad for a meat alternative. Not bad at all.
Try This: Teriyaki Tempeh Recipe
8. Mango
Mangoes? Yep. Mangoes. I actually came across a recipe for BBQ mango that was interesting (check it out here). Others like to use this fruit to make homemade mango stew (you can see that recipe here). However, if you're a big sushi eater, there's a huge chance that you've had mango in a roll before. Why are they good for you? For starters, they're protein and fiber amounts are pretty impressive. Mangoes also have a ton of Vitamin C, folate and copper in them, along with some vitamin A, B, E and K and antioxidants. If you eat them regularly enough, they can boost your immune system, improve your digestive health and even make your eyes stronger. So, why not make a mango sushi roll? What do you have to lose, chile?
Try This: Avocado Cucumber Sushi Roll Recipe (it's got mango in it)
9. Cauliflower
OK. Off top, this one might seem like a bit of a wild card yet just hear me out for a sec. There are many vegetarians and vegans who sing cauliflower's praises in this lane because they find it to be a cool chicken alternative, especially when it comes to Asian-themed dishes.
Its health benefits? Cauliflower has vitamins B6, C and K, as well as folate, pantothenic acid and potassium in it. Since it also contains antioxidants, cauliflower is able to help keep free radicals out of your system. Also, since it has choline in it, you can be sure that your cell membranes are being provided with a very essential nutrient that they need. Yeah, cauliflower can seem a little boring on its own. Still, if you season it right, you could look up and wonder why you've gone without using it as a substitute for poultry (sometimes) for as long as you have.
Try This: Asian Crispy Cauliflower Tacos Recipe
10. Meatless "Meat"
This one, I'll keep short 'n sweet. Whether you hate to cook or you're looking for a quick way to enjoy some meat substitutes, there are more and more plant-based meatless products that are available at your local stores. One that I grew up on as a child was Morning Star and it's still alive and kickin'. Anyway, Peta has a list that you can check out here. Urban Tastebud has a list that you can check out here. Enjoy!
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Mother's Day is right around the corner, and that means many of us will be frantically shopping, trying to find the perfect gift to give our moms. From guiding us through life to literally giving us our lives, our mothers truly are the root and foundation that binds families together. What could possibly be a sufficient show of thanks?
Luckily for you, we decided to go straight to the source by asking real moms what they want for their special day. We found a few recurring themes to help spark inspo and even shared some top picks from Pandora that'll show your mom you appreciate all she does.
A Little Time Off
Hands down, the most popular pick when we polled moms was time off to rest and recharge. For some, like new mom Kathy Juana Aiyegbo, the founder of Mission Lane, one day off from parenting duties was at the top of her list. But many moms chimed in with requests for five-star hotel stays and trips to luxe spa resorts for some much-needed pampering after a very trying year.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
Sentimental Jewelry
While jewelry is always a popular choice for Mother's Day, get her something that doesn't feel like you waited until the last minute to go shopping. This Family Tree Heart Clasp Snake Chain Bracelet from Pandora will let your mom show the world that her family is always a priority. A bonus: It can pair well whether your mother is dressed up or casual.
Photo Credit: Pandora
Upgraded Goodies for Hobbyists
Mother's Day is the perfect time to upgrade your mom's hobbies with items that you've heard her name-drop all year. If you know for a fact that your mom loves to cook (like many of the women we spoke to!), why not upgrade her cookware, utensils, or even appliances? While you shouldn't imply that you expect mom to cook on her special day, she'll appreciate that you remembered she's had her eye on that gorgeous new Great Jones set!
Photo Credit: Courtesy
A Little Quality Time
Unsurprisingly after the aftermath of 2020 and coronavirus, one of the other top-requested "gifts" for Mother's Day was quality time with family and loved ones. Sharon Smith-Akinsanya, the founder of People Of Color Careers, noted that the pandemic made it impossible to visit her daughter who's now grown — but now that both of them are vaccinated, her big wish is to see her daughter again and shower her with hugs and kisses.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
A Ring to Upgrade Her Wardrobe
We know that jewelry can tie an outfit together, which is why it never hurts to pick a gorgeous ring for your mom this year. This Rose Petals Statement Ring from Pandora is eye-catching without being overwhelming and would make so many moms swoon. The blended rose gold plated sterling silver ring features a crystal flower and can act as a conversation piece, helping your mom make an undeniable statement (as if she needed help).
Photo Credit: Pandora
Gift Her a Year Subscription Box
Go big with a gift that keeps on giving long after Mother's Day is over. If you know your mom's likes and dislikes, signing her up for a lifestyle subscription box could be a big hit. These can be for clothing, beauty, snacks from around the world, and more. Andrea Tran, an RN and lactation consultant with the blog Breastfeeding Confidential, loves the idea of a gift that keeps giving, month after month. "It's like multiple gifts throughout the year. My kids gave me one of these last year and it was so fun getting it every season."
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
A Fun Daytime Outing
Based on the moms we queried, one thing is clear: Experiences are never not appreciated. And it's understandable, since memories last forever! Joi Light of Its Joi To My World mentioned, "...a trendy picnic with the floor pillows, mimosas, and good food" was her big wish for Mother's Day.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
A Charm to Complement Her Jewelry
"Thoughtfulness" topped the charts of our moms' requests, and this charm says so much. The Love You Infinity Heart Dangle Charm from Pandora features the infinity symbol wrapped around a heart with a beautiful cursive note engraved on it. This rose-hued charm will look beautiful either as a mixed metal effect or with other rose gold jewelry.
Photo Credit: Pandora
A Tasty Indulgence
Lucy T., a writer for Sarasota to Stonington, noted that she'd love a vegan box of Mochidoki (the cutest Mochi in the world) for Mother's Day. Whether you know your mom has a sweet tooth or that there's a tasty savory dish she rarely gets to enjoy, this is the time to indulge her senses. Take her to that cafe she's always mentioned to you, or have a yummy curated gift basket full of some of her favorite treats delivered just in time for her big day.
Photo Credit: Courtesy
Things That Make Daily Life Easier
The phrase "busy mom" is a bit of an understatement, especially these days. Tiana Coates, the founder of Winding Wick Candles, wants a gift that will make her routine tasks easier. So what's on her wishlist? An air fryer, "...because at the end of the day I don't always have the time to create the full meals for us that I would like to."
Photo Credit: Courtesy
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