What a year will do, right? This time last year, we had a crazy man for a POTUS while we were just settling into the reality that the pandemic known as COVID-19 was going to change our lives in a very real way. Well, if you're reading this, pat yourself on the back because your resilience caused you to survive both. And now, here we are—a new president and, as of the time of this going to press, three vaccines being available in order to get us back to some sense of normalcy.
If you know that getting a COVID-19 vaccine is probably the best thing to do yet you're still curious about how it will ultimately benefit you, there are three main reported reasons. First, you can start to meet up with other vaccinated individuals without the need for social distancing or wearing a mask (imagine that!). Two, you can travel domestically without the need for testing or quarantining. And finally, you can also feel more confident about spending time around unvaccinated individuals. Basically, you can start seeing your peeps and enjoying having some sort of a social life again.
If that feels good to you yet you've still got a few questions about it all, I get that. After all, these types of vaccines are still new and things are ever-changing. That's why I wanted to do you a solid and provide you with 10 tips to get you physically—and somewhat mentally and emotionally—prepared for your vaccination—so that with a new sense of freedom, you can also have peace of mind.
1. Research the Different Vaccines First
Whew, y'all. It was March 16, 2020 when I wrote "Before You Freak Out: 12 Things To Know About The Coronavirus". A little over a year—and a mind-boggling 554,000 COVID-related deaths—later, we are now at the point where a vaccine is available so that our bodies can begin to develop an immunity to the virus. However, before making an appointment to get vaccinated, it's important that you know as much as possible about the three different kinds that are currently available. There's Moderna. There's Pfizer-BioNTech. And there's Johnson and Johnson's Janssen.
As far as choosing which one is personally best for you, as it stands at the time that I'm writing this, Pfizer-BioNTech is 95 percent effective, Moderna is 94 percent and Johnson and Johnson's Janssen is 66 percent effective (according to CDC clinical trials; it's 85 according to the FDA) at preventing the virus. (As of 4/13/21, Johnson and Johnson has been paused due to six people getting blood clots from the virus.)
Still, you may want to check with your doctor for their insight on which vaccine they feel is actually best for you (by the way, each vaccine is hyperlinked to detailed data about each one of them).
2. Hit Up VaccineFinder.org (or Check with Your Local Pharmacy)
Probably one of the most common questions when it comes to getting vaccinated is where do you go in your local area to get your shot? A website that's pretty helpful is VaccineFinder.org. If you go to its page, it'll ask for your zip code. Then it will provide you a list of different places that are administering the vaccines, along with which brands are available at each location and who currently qualifies for what. Another option is to hit up your local favorite pharmacy to see if they are administering the vaccine of your choice. If they aren't, they should be able to tell you if another one of their pharmacies is. (For the record, you can check with your local health department for this kind of info too.)
3. Boost Your Immunity a Week Beforehand to Getting the Vaccine
It probably comes as no surprise to you that the better state your immune system is in, the more you decrease your chances of experiencing the worst kind of side effects from your vaccination. Some medical experts recommend being intentional about boosting your immunity approximately seven days prior to your first dose of the vaccine and maintaining whatever regimen you created for seven days after as well. If you'd like some quick tips on how to do that, check out "Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?" Also, make sure to take a probiotic (it helps to bring "good bacteria" to your gut which is where 80 percent of your immune system resides), to take some zinc and/or eat foods that are high in zinc (it builds up immunity) like hemp or flaxseeds, meat, cashews, eggs and wholegrains, and to get some (extra) amino acids (they assist with fueling your immune system) into your body with the help of turkey, mushrooms, quinoa and fish. And what if exercise is your way of keeping your immune system on-point? That's all good. Just avoid working out two hours prior and following your shot(s). Oh, and try and avoid taking a hot shower during that same period of time (two hours). Some folks have said they had an allergic reaction to their vaccination when they did immediately following it.
4. Mentally Prepare for Possible Side Effects from the Vaccine
The overall purpose of a vaccine is to stimulate your immunity to produce antibodies in a way like you already had the disease. However, this does not mean that getting a vaccine will give you, in this case, COVID-19. That's because none of the vaccine brands that are currently available actually contain the live virus within it.
That said, it's not uncommon to experience some side effects, whether it's after the first or second shot (it seems to be more common with the second shot)—or with both. And what are some of those side effects?
- Pain or swelling where the shot was administered
- Muscle and/or joint pain
- Fever
- Fatigue
- Chills
- Nausea
- Swollen lymph nodes
And when does all of this typically go down? On average, around day three after getting vaccinated. That's the bad news. The good news is the symptoms typically subside within 1-2 days after they first kick in. The other good news is it's not a given that you will have some. Still, it's important that you get to know as much about the vaccination process as possible. Also, the person who gives you the shot doesn't typically administer it and immediately send you on your way. They will require you to stay close by for 15-20 minutes, just so they can see if you have an immediate reaction to the shot or not.
5. Avoid Taking Over-the-Counter Meds 48 Hours Prior To
After reading about the potential side effects that you could experience, you might think, "No problem. I'll just take some ibuprofen to head them all off." While that might seem logical, it's actually not the best idea. The reality is, there's just not enough medical data (yet) to reveal what could happen if you did that. On one hand, you might be fine. On another, over-the-counter meds could mess around and throw the immune response of the vaccine way off. So, just to be on the safe side, avoid those medications altogether. Now that I'm thinking about it, this is a stellar reason to not book your vaccination appointment around your period either. Not only are you probably going to feel pretty icky going in but if you rely on Advil, Tylenol, etc. to get you through your discomfort, because of everything that I just said, it's wise to get your vaccine when your cycle is not an issue.
6. Go Easy on Your Allergy Medications
As far as allergies go, being that this is peak allergy season, let me touch on a couple of things. First, so long as you don't have a history of having an allergic reaction to vaccinations or any form of injectable medications, you should be able to get the vaccine. On the other hand, if you do, that is something that you should definitely discuss with your doctor before making your vaccine appointment (you can also get vaccinated if you have an existing health condition, so long as you run that past your physician first too).
And what if you currently take some type of antihistamine or other allergy med? Since there've been some reports of severe allergic reactions to the vaccine brands, you might think that you're protecting yourself by taking your allergy medication before getting your shot. You're not. Not only are they (currently) unlikely to prevent you from having an allergic reaction from the vaccination, they could actually make potential reactions much worse. This is the general medical recommendation. Of course, if you've got specific questions or concerns, speak with your doctor before getting vaccinated.
7. Get No Less than Six Hours of Sleep the Day Before Your Vaccine Shot(s)
Sleep helps our body to rejuvenate itself, so definitely don't decide to stay up all night working on a paper, a project or binge-watch your favorite show to get your mind off of your vaccination appointment the night before. There are already too many people who have shared that not getting proper rest—especially after their second dose of the vaccine—totally wiped them out. So, make sure that you get no less than six hours before each appointment. Also, if you can, try and take a sick or personal day on the day following each shot. The more you rest and take it easy, the better you'll be able to rebound from your vaccination.
8. Do Not Drink 24 Hours Before (and After) Your Appointment
If you hate, even the mere idea of getting a shot, you probably want to drink at least a couple of glasses of red wine before and/or after your appointment. That's understandable. Still, don't do it. What researchers have discovered is that, in some cases, alcohol has had the ability to trigger allergic reactions. While you might think that you are the exception in this case, don't gamble with your health. Avoid alcohol altogether 24 hours before your appointment and 24 hours after you get vaccinated.
9. Know the Timing of When You Should Get Your Second Vaccine Dose
Unless your doctor says otherwise—and until the vaccines further develop—with most vaccine brands, it's recommended that you get two shots in order to be as protected from the virus as possible. Although your healthcare provider and the person administering your vaccine should definitely tell you what I'm about to say, I'm just sharing for safe measure that the Moderna shot is currently available for individuals who are over 18; they will need to take their second shot between 28 days and six weeks after their first dose. As far as the Pfizer-BioNTech goes, currently individuals 16 and over can take it; the second dose can be administered between 21 days and six weeks of the first dose. And Johnson and Johnson's Janssen? It's for those 18 and over. A bonus with it is you only need one dose of it. Make sure to keep up with these dates. Your vaccine is only as effective as the details that come with getting it.
10. Avoid the Following Activities Right After Your Vaccination Shot
Even though you may feel invincible once you get your vaccine, there are a few things that you should avoid doing, until about a week or so following each shot. Definitely don't push yourself to exercise. After sharing the possible side effects that you might feel (especially after that second dose), you may not feel your best. Give your body no less than three days to recover before going full throttle on your workout routine again. If you've been thinking about getting some new ink (you know, a tattoo), because it could potentially trigger an immune response, you should wait about seven days after your second shot before having that done. Another thing that you should definitely avoid doing is booking any other vaccination appointments around your COVID vaccine one(s). Because all three vaccines are still relatively new, you should wait at least two weeks from your second shot before trying to get any other vaccine into your system.
Data is changing every day, so I'm sure there is more happening in the vaccination world as we speak. Still, if you needed a bit of a cheat sheet to get your soul right before getting vaccinated, I hope this helped so that you can get just that much closer to… "normalcy".
For more information and vaccination-related tips, visit CDC.gov. If you want to watch an interview featuring Dr. Kizzmekia Corbett, a key player in the Moderna vaccine (and a Black woman), click here.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- How to Prepare for Your COVID-19 Vaccine ›
- Before the COVID Vaccine | University of Maryland Medical System ›
- Getting The COVID-19 Vaccine? Here's How To Prepare | Henry ... ›
- How to prepare for your Covid-19 vaccination — advice from Dr. Wen ›
- 9 Ways to Prepare for Your COVID-19 Vaccine Appointment | SELF ›
- Preparing for Your COVID-19 Vaccination | CDC ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
We have less than 40 days left in 2024, and while I'm not one to rush goals just because it's the end of the year, it can be fun to challenge yourself to think about ways you'll close out this year big.
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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10 Unforgettable Black Film & TV Sex Scenes That Brought The Heat
What makes a sex scene great? Personally, I think it comes down to a combination of things. It’s in the details - the close-ups of skin, eye contact, touch. It’s in the sounds, the dialogue, the chemistry, the location, the context, the taboo, and everything in between.
While the movies and shows on this list vary in genre and style, they all have toe-curling elements that make them truly mind-blowing.
1. Love & Basketball
Now, Love & Basketballis a universally memorable movie in the Black community in its own right, but that sex scene was almost revolutionary. The raw, realistic portrayal of Monica’s first time as she loses her virginity to her childhood soulmate Quincy was an important moment for young Black women everywhere. For a scene that had no on-screen nudity, the chemistry between the characters was enough to have us all feeling a little hot under the collar!
2. Set It Off
This 1996 sex scene between Blair Underwood and Jada Pinkett-Smith’s characters Keith and Stony had all the elements that take a sex scene from good to great. And let’s not let the fact that Jada used a body double take away from how iconic this scene is. Attractive actors, focused foreplay, close-ups, tension-building music (shout out En Vogue!), and chemistry for days. When I rewatched this movie recently and noticed the way Keith moved his chain out of the way (IYKYK), I yelled! Those little details set this sex scene apart.
3. Out of Time
Denzel Washington has been fine his whole life. He’s intergenerational fine. And when this movie came out he was in his PRIME, okay?! The chemistry between Denzel and Sanaa Lathan in Out of Time is undeniable. So much so that when the movie came out, rumors began to circulate that the actors were romantically involved. And if you’ve seen the movie, I’m sure you’re not surprised.
The icing on the cake for me was that roleplay scene (peep the video above). You know, the one where Matthias pretends to be investigating a crime and Ann talks him through what the “intruder” did to her and he reenacts it? Turns out WE were the ones intruding on a crime - assault with a deadly weapon, if you will.
4. Scandal
Thursdays haven’t been the same since ABC’s TGIT. Shonda Rhimes was in her bag when she gave us back-to-back episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, AND How To Get Away With Murder. Lives were changed. Aside from nail-biting drama and salacious storylines, Shonda also consistently gave us an array of dangerously attractive characters and sexual tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.
I’ll forever be team #Olitz. Their steamy sex sessions were made even hotter because their relationship was taboo, scandalous, even.
Adultery aside, Olivia and Fitz’s sexy time scenes never left anything to be desired. Interestingly, my favorite Olitz sex scene is their very first time. After six episodes of build-up, they finally did the deed and alleviated all the sexual tension we’d all been feeling. I think we all developed a new level of respect for Fitz when he ordered Olivia to take her clothes off, and she did not disappoint because she served bawdy in that white lingerie (I see what you did there, Shonda). Olivia served at the pleasure of the President, and so did we. For all 6 seasons.
5. Bridgerton
Dearest Gentle Reader, this couple certainly set the Ton abuzz in Bridgerton season one. For a Duke who was once lost for words, the cat’s certainly no longer in possession of his tongue. And luckily, it seems the Duchess is more physical touch than words of affirmation.
The Hastings basked in newlywed bliss all over their new abode and that library ladder scene - you know the one - took the couple’s sex life to new heights. What made this scene with Simon going down on Daphne while she’s suspended on a ladder so incredibly hot is how it centered *female* pleasure. He a good man, Savannah!
6. Insecure
One thing we could always expect from Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore’s hit series - a jaw-dropping sex scene. What I loved about Insecure’s sex scenes is that they’re not only seriously hot, but alsoVERY relatable. From that incident with Daniel, to Issa and Lawrence’s freshly-broken-up-unfinished-business ex-sex.
The one that tops my list has got to be when Issa and Nathan joined their own version of the Mile High Club on the Ferris wheel at Coachella. Cinematically, the scene was gorgeous but it also felt truly organic, like it was the perfect first time for them. I feel like we all collectively exhaled because she finally chose a man we could actually root for. You know what that is? Growth.
Honorable mention: the we’ve-finally-reunited couch sex Lawrence and Issa have when they finally get back together.
7. Power
From gunplay to foreplay, Power held nothing back. Every sex scene was spicy in its own way from Tate and his staffer, to the pilot episode Ghost and Tasha, to Tommy and Keisha. So many to choose from! The one that stands out in my mind is when Ghost and Angela get it on against the window of his hotel room overlooking the New York cityscape. Their chemistry was undeniable and the yearning was palpable in every single one of their sex scenes. Now, that’s acting!
8. Love Jones
WhenLove Jones premiered in 1997, a Black romance about a couple of creatives living and loving in the city was unprecedented. Between the novelty of the story and the charming dynamic between Darius and Nina, Love Jones quickly became a cultural classic. And even with the plethora of Black stories that have since graced our screens, Love Jones is a movie the conversation always comes back to. I mean, with bars like “I’m the blues in your left thigh trying to become the funk in your right”? Yeah, I would’ve folded.
Nina and Darius having sex on the first date felt bold and spontaneous, but that’s only part of why that scene was so steamy. Music can make or break a moment on-screen - sex or otherwise - and Maxwell’s "Sumthin’ Sumthin’" playing in the background made it feel like they were truly making love. Romance is sexy too, right?
9. Queen & Slim
Finally, on-screen car sex that actually looks enjoyable! It’s a beautifully shot scene with long, slow closeups of the characters making intense eye contact (IYKYK!). And the passion between the two actors is so realistic that some people even questioned if the scene was real! The buildup that led to this spontaneous daylight, on-the-run hookup made it even sexier. 10/10, no notes.
For so long, we’ve been starved of seeing positive Black female sexuality on screen and the She’s Gotta Have It remake helped to change that. DeWanda Wise absolutely killed it in the Spike Lee remake as Nola Darling, a polyamorous pansexual woman living her best sexually liberated life, boldly approaching relationships in a way we usually see as taboo. Men, women…one, two, three on rotation, Nola’s pleasure was Nola’s priority (IKDR!).
While her sexual appetite meant her loving bed saw many visitors, I think her best sex scene came when she finally decided to give monogamy a try with her girlfriend Opal. While the scene was pretty graphic, just like the others, this one was different because it was special. It felt like Nola and Opal were two women passionately in love. And what’s sexier than sex with someone you love?
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Featured image via Netflix