
Let's face it. Many of us aren't strangers to student loan debt. Black students in particular are disproportionately impacted by it, with the average carrying the burden of $7,400 more than their white peers. And sis, it's not just those of us making an OK salary or even those of us living check to check who have to consider how to pay off student loans. Even "well-off" adults are borrowing more.
More Black women are also completing degrees, so there's the added aspect of more borrowing among us, especially when we come from majority-Black communities. Let's face it: The numbers support the fact that we will definitely do whatever it takes to finance our education and those of our children.
With that being said, nobody wants to be in debt. There's always that shadow of wage garnishment lurking and just the heavy mental burden of owing somebody that sits well with no one. (I know I'm not the only one with that nagging voice of a parent or grandparent in their head, saying, "Don't ever let people hold money over your head. You better pay your debts and keep your accounts in good standing!")

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If you're among the thousands of us who have student loan debt, and you're trying to figure out the best plan of action, we've got you covered. Sonia Lewis, CEO of The Student Loan Doctor, started a coaching and consumer advocacy service after dealing with her own experience with debt. "I was broke, so I actually was just trying to help myself when I initially started. When I was going through my own journey, I took a financial literacy course at church, and I realized that everyone did not have the common knowledge of what to do about their student loans," she said.
After taking care of her debt, she began helping others, and word of mouth led to the growth of clients. The Philly entrepreneur, who spent a decade working in higher education and knew the ins and outs of admissions and financial aid, now has a network that includes six coaches and three admins. Below she offers the real tea on how you can set a plan for saying goodbye to student loan debt and hello to financial freedom.
Scenario 1: You're a new graduate and dealing with student loan debt for the first time.
Lewis: First, log into the student aid or private lender's Website and verify whether the information is correct. Did you borrow this amount? For example, there could be a duplication of loans for a certain semester, or let's say someone took a semester off [and they find that] they've still been charged. So, it's good to verify the information.
The second thing would be to look into your repayment options. What's really cool about the StudentAid.gov site is that it's been revamped recently. You can literally plug in your information and [find out your options]. A person could [consider], 'I make this much,' 'I take care of this many people,' 'I'm eligible for forgiveness,' or 'I'm about to apply for this type of job.' When we talk through these scenarios [with clients] it relieves stress because when calls start, everybody's shaking and nervous because [the debt] can be a lot of money. So just walking through it and letting them see what's available helps. It's really cool when the person feels comfortable to click through themselves via a Zoom call [and figure out] what they want to do.
At that point you're not pressured to do anything. If you want to move forward you can, but some may say, 'Let's pause here. I need to lower my bills first.' Some are really honest and say, 'Hey I can't afford [to repay]. I need to get another job.' And then they'll figure out how to navigate that process. So it just depends. Some have home-buying goals, and you know, your loan must be in repayment if you owe over $50,000. Sometimes that goal might fast-track the process because maybe they need a preapproval for a house they want. So now we're having a conversation of what to say to the lender and what type of letter they need to furnish to the lender.

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Scenario 2: You've been out of school for years and the debt—plus interest—has been piling up.
We have [clients] who have six-figure debt and they're like, 'OK, I have never paid my loan, and I'm really scared.' Interest has accrued, they may have more responsibilities like a mortgage or a car note, and now, we have to work backwards. We ask, 'How much do you have available to make a payment?' Oftentimes that starts with a budget. We can talk about payment plans all day, but if a person says, 'Hey, I only have $300,' now we have to figure out what can work and fit at that amount.
That payment plan might not be what I advise them to do because they might be paying for 25 to 30 years [at that rate], but let's say they could've made a $500 payment and got rid of the debt in 10. If you're able to cut expenses or increase income, we definitely advise people to consider that.
That makes people feel a little more empowered because they have the money to do something and they know where they can begin in order to afford to pay off the debt.
Scenario 3: You've been offered a settlement.
For a federal loan, at that point, 9 times out of 10 the loan was sold to a third-party collector, [however], the collection agencies still have to report back to the federal government. With a private loan, if [the debt is] sold to collections, it's [usually sold to] a separate agency. If you receive a settlement offer, make sure that it's for the full amount because you don't want them to try and come back and sell the difference to another collection agency—federal government or not.
Second, consider that a settlement can really hurt your credit. For example, there are some people who may have a strategy where they default on the loan just to get a settlement because that's the only time the government will offer one. I don't recommend that. It's going to really damage your credit, and particularly if you're a millennial or younger, you may not want that damaging mark on your credit in case in the future you want to get jobs that require certain security clearances [or other requirements]. If you take that settlement, that's you committing to a default on the loan.
This happened to a good friend of mine. He [took a settlement on a student loan balance] for $50,000. His parents helped him pay it. Years later, he went to get a contract job with a tech security company. They were going to pay him $300,000 [annually], but they got to the last stage and had to withdraw the offer because [he could not get] the highest security clearance he needed because he defaulted on that federal loan. He was about to go from making $60,000 to six figures, in one day.
This is why we have to be careful about proposing settlements and really coaching clients through that because we don't know what fields they might want to enter into. A settlement is just something that can't be reversed.

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Scenario 4: You've defaulted on your loans. Now what?
They can either pay in full, settle (which we just discussed), or [agree to] a consolidation if they're eligible. A consolidation is the act of putting all your loans together and the interest is the average sum total of all of your loans. You'll have one payment, one new loan. Another option, which is what we really tell people to consider first, is to rehabilitate.
The default rehabilitation program allows you to make, in good standing, 9 out of 10 payments, and those payments allow you to have the collection agency see and determine what you can pay. Most times, especially during this pandemic, we've seen people get a $5 payment.
The thought might be 'Well, I want to pay more on my loan,' but we don't want to pay a collection agency more. We want to pay the minimum in which we agreed to, because, if you were to default or stop [paying according to] the agreement, all the money you paid, until your debt is returned to a lender, goes back into [covering] the collection fees.
So, people are quick to pay more but that money is a threshold that goes to the fees first. The fees get removed once you're out of rehabilitation [which is after the 9 consecutive on-time payments that were agreed upon]. So, you definitely want to stay on top of it.
Let's say you're enrolled in the program to pay $5 on the first of every month. Be sure you set an alarm to look into your account and make sure the amount was indeed taken out. Some collectors are slick, and in the agreement, it says it's your responsibility to [keep track] of your payments. You're thinking because you're on auto pay for $5, what's the worst that can happen? They'll take their money. No, sometimes they don't.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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I wish I enjoyed drinking plain ole’ water. I don’t, though, and, at this point, I doubt that I ever will. It’s not something that I’m proud of or anything, but like I’ve said in other articles on this platform, to me, water is so damn boring; it’s literally like drinking “wet air.”
That doesn’t mean I don’t accept that it’s a “necessary evil” being that we all are made up of so much water and being dehydrated (which is something that a lot of us are) can cause so many health-related issues, including blurred vision, muscle cramps, dried skin, fatigue and even moodiness.
That’s why, over the years, I’ve been intentional about figuring out ways to get more agua into my body without feeling like it’s a chore or something to dread. And now, I want to pass some of those hacks on to you, just in case you happen to totally relate to where I am coming from.
If something that you want to do more of right through here is get extra H2O into your system, here are 10 tips that can absolutely help to make that possible.

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1. Invest in a Fun Water Bottle
There’s a far greater chance that you are going to drink water if you have a water bottle around you. So, cop yourself a cute one — one that will help you to stay motivated. A tumbler that I purchased some time back, just because I thought it was cute as hell, simply says, “Make Better Coochie Decisions” (amen?-LOL). Honestly, that doesn’t just have to apply to sex but how you treat your vagina overall — and that includes making sure that “she” has all of the fluids that she needs.
2. Try Some Sparkling Water or Mineral Water
At this point, I should take stock in Waterloo. It currently is my favorite kind of sparkling water and it has definitely made getting more water into my system easier to do. That’s because I will add some limes to it or a bit of fruit juice to it and that makes drinking water less “meh” for me. Another type of water that has bubbles in it is sparkling mineral water; it can also be beneficial since it contains magnesium, potassium and calcium.

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3. Go Halfsies with Your Other Drinks of Choice
Speaking of making some all-natural soda (which is basically what happens when you add juice to sparkling water or sparkling mineral water), you can find yourself drinking more water while consuming less calories if you fill up your glass with half of your favorite fruit juice and half of some sparkling water. More times than not, the juice doesn’t even taste watered down. Try it before you doubt me.
4. Collect Some Infused Water Recipes
I’m forever gonna be a fan of infused water; that’s because it’s water that has fresh fruits and/or veggies in them — and it doesn’t get any healthier than that. Plus, infused water tends to take on the taste of whatever fruits or vegetables that you put into the water (if you let the stuff soak for a couple of hours), so that the water doesn’t taste so boring and bland. Wanna try a few recipes? You can check out some here and here.

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5. Make Slushies Instead of Smoothies
Are you someone who enjoys consuming smoothies? Well, if you want to get more water into your system, how about going with a slushie instead? Although it is true that some smoothies have water as a base, the most bomb ones use milk (or a milk alternative) or yogurt. Slushies, on the other hand, typically go with crushed ice (which is frozen water) instead. That said, some (pardon the pun) cool slushy recipes can be found here, here and here.
6. Use Water As Your “Drink Chaser”
Another great thing about water is it can help to keep you from overeating; it does that by causing you to feel full if you drink it while you are eating. And speaking of calorie-counting, if you don’t want to give up your favorite drink at mealtime, one way to keep from downing 2-3 glasses of it at a time is to use water as your “chaser.” What I mean by that is, after enjoying a glass of your favorite beverage, “chase it down” with a glass of water. That should satisfy your want for what you want without overdoing it.

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7. Eat Foods That Are High in Water Content
Another way to get more water into your body is to eat foods that have a ton of water in them. Some that top the list include lettuce (96 percent); cucumber (95 percent); zucchini (95 percent); celery (95 percent); strawberries (91 percent); cantaloupe (90 percent), and peaches (89 percent).
8. Have a Ball with Your Ice Cubes
Ice cubes are frozen water, right? That’s why most of us prefer to enjoy our drinks before the ice cubes melt because melted cubes water down whatever it is that we are consuming. And so, for this very reason, add more ice cubes to your drinks — and have fun making them. You can add juice, fruit and/or mint leaves while making your cubes. That way, they are aesthetically-pleasing; plus, they will also add more flavor to your water once the ice cubes actually melt.

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9. Add Some Non-Alcohol Cordial to Your Water
If you’re fine with just having a tad of taste in your water, why not add a bit of cordial to it? Cordial is simply a type of tonic, syrup or sweetener (that can contain alcohol or not) that can help to make your water more…interesting. Some alcohol-based cordials can be found here. Some non-alcoholic recipes are located here.
10. Technically, Herbal Tea Counts
Tea is always gonna be my thing. That’s why I’ve penned articles on it for the site like “10 Different Ways Herbal Teas Can Fit Into Your Beauty Regimen”, “10 'Uncommon' Teas You Should Add To Your Stash (& Why)” and “I've Got 10 Teas That Will Help You To Age (Even More) Gracefully” And y’all, if you want to get a lot more water into your system yet a tall glass of water only isn’t your — pardon the pun — cup of tea, make some iced herbal tea instead.
It’s basically water with some herbs tossed in and, if you add some honey or raw organic coconut palm sugar to it, it will be a really sweet treat that will still be extremely hydrating (and very healthy) for you.
Water that is a bit more exciting for you…now. LOL.
Drink up!
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