Women are always being told what it means to be beautiful, and there's no difference when it comes to sexual prowess. My struggle with sexual confidence as a BBW came when I tried to reconcile societal pressures of beauty with how I see myself. I had to reevaluate my idea of self-worth and confidence. In doing so, I realized some of my beliefs about being a woman, in particular a BBW, were rooted in what others thought of me. This kept me from enjoying intimate moments but also from reaching the peak of arousal. That's right the Big O!
The first time I had sex with someone half my size, it was so awkward. I can remember taking my pants off but keeping my shirt on and the lights off. I lied there and tried to enjoy the moment but I kept thinking about what he could see of my body and what he thought of what he saw. It took me some time to really start enjoying the fullness of my body and to understand my strength came from embracing all of me.
It all clicked when I started embracing my wants and needs in the bedroom. I stopped allowing my fears of self to hinder me from enjoying sexual bliss. When this happened, I started voicing my needs and allowing the pleasure of those moments to waft over me. These days, I'm coaching my partners and hitting every high note in the bedroom like Mariah Carey in her heyday.
Below are some tips I cultivated along the way in my quest to have the best sex as a BBW:
1. Stretch It Out
The key to longevity during sex as a BBW is flexibility. You don't have to be a gymnast but it is important to warm up your muscles. This means doing some squats, toe touches, lunges, or some sexy dance moves before embarking on a tryst with your partner. The last thing you want to happen is to catch a cramp in your leg during that peak of arousal. Trust me, it's no fun.
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