What Is A Super Orgasm & How Can I Have One?
If there are two things that I write about on the regular and, at the same time, continue to be amazed that there are more "versions" to unfold, it's dating trends and types of orgasms. Today's article is evidence that the longer I live—and research—the more stuff I am able to find. As if orgasms weren't already mind-blowing enough, did you know that there is such a thing as a super orgasm? Super. Orgasm. Have. Mercy.
And just what exactly is a super orgasm, pray tell? I promise that y'all ain't even ready. A super orgasm is when—brace yourselves, now—someone is able to climax anywhere between 12-100 times…in a row! While this was once perceived as being about as rare as a rainbow unicorn or Bigfoot sighting, a documentary has revealed that scientists are now discovering that women who have these actually do exist. That's not all—they also believe that there are tools that all of us can apply in order to have a super orgasm too. And just what does a sista have to do in order to experience this freaky freak of nature? Here's what my research revealed.
The Six Things You Need in Order to Have a Super Orgasm
1. A Boost of Oxytocin
When it comes to super orgasms, one thing that several scientists discovered was the women who had them had a heightened level of oxytocin in their system. Oxytocin is simply a hormone and neurotransmitter in our body that naturally produces good feelings and makes us want to get closer to our partner. It can be triggered while cuddling, kissing and definitely during sex. Although the women in the study naturally had more oxytocin running through their veins, there are actually things you can do to give your oxytocin levels a boost. You can get more of the vitamins C, D and magnesium into your system. You can drink a little more java (yep, caffeine increases oxytocin). If coffee ain't your thing, you can drink some chamomile tea. You can also apply some jasmine or clary sage essential oil to your pressure points. All of these are proven ways to give yourself a natural oxytocin boost.
2. A Yoga Class
You can read articles on our site like "Energize Your Mornings With These Simple Yoga Poses", "8 Yoga Tips Every Beginner Yogi Should Know" and "The Unexpected Lessons Yoga Taught Me About Life" to see that we are pretty big fans of yoga. That's because it does things like reduce stress, increase flexibility, improve muscle tone, teach the correct way to deep breathe and strengthen the heart. But did you also know that there are some sexual perks that come from this form of exercise and meditation too? In fact, there was once a study conducted on 40 women who vouched for the fact that a 12-week yoga class significantly improved their sex life, including their sexual satisfaction. That's because yoga also teaches you how to listen to your body and be present in the moment as it heightens your sense of awareness. Poses like the Cat Pose (which relaxes your spine), the Bridge Pose (which strengthens your pelvic floor), and the One-Legged Pigeon (which stretches and opens up your hips) are just some of the ways that you can get your mind and body prepared for your very first super orgasm. Give it a try. Report in the comments if any of these intensified things for you.
3. A Relaxed State of Mind
It's kind of crazy how many of us are chronic overthinkers, when I can't think of one single area where being in that mindset is beneficial; this includes when it comes to bedroom action. If you're someone who doesn't orgasm nearly as much as you'd like to, it very well be because you are thinking too much about it—both before and during the act.
Instead, ask your partner to give you a massage. Turn on some soft music. Dim the lights. Have some wine. CHILL OUT. Remember, your brain is the biggest sexual organ that you have. This means that the more relaxed it is, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. A Ton of Foreplay
While once reading an article on WebMD's website about the benefits of foreplay, there are two things the writer said that I totally agree with, especially when it comes to women. One, foreplay prepares our mind and body for sex. Two, foreplay makes sex a much more comfortable experience for us ladies. That's because, the more aroused we are, the wetter we become, and the easier it is to be penetrated—deeply and often. From what I've read, in order to achieve a super orgasm, it's important to take the marathon route when it comes to foreplay. Meaning, while a woman, on average, needs somewhere between 15-20 minutes in order to have an orgasm, foreplay needs to be extended to around 30 minutes or so in order for a super orgasm to occur. The key is to do whatever gets you all hot 'n bothered without allowing yourself to climax in the process. It's basically like edging without the penetration. I get it, it might seem like long sessions of "fun torture" at first, but once the orgasms get going, it will be well worth the wait and self-discipline.
5. A Partner with a Long Penis
OK, sooo—when it comes to this one, sometimes you've got to work with what you've got; and sometimes what you've got is not a man with a long penis. The good news is, since most of our most sensitive nerve endings are two inches from the entry of our vagina, a dude who is "packin'" is not required in order to be sexually satisfied. Still, that doesn't change the fact that researchers did discover that the deeper penetration a woman receives, the more likely that she'll be able to have a super orgasm. And the fastest way to make that happen is with a man who has a long penis. If your guy doesn't exactly fit this bill, y'all can always fake it until you make it by trying some of the sex positions for the "less longer" that I found here and here.
6. Quality Time
The last tip for achieving a super orgasm is something that could've easily gone on the top of the list—you need to spend some quality time with your partner. I don't mean the foreplay moments that transpire right before gettin' it in. I mean—going on dates, talking throughout the day, doing things that make you both feel loved, seen, heard and safe.
When two individuals are in this kind of head space, that makes it easier for them to trust one another. And when the combination of desire and trust are present, the sky truly is the limit! You are pretty much down to do whatever in order to make one another feel as mind-blown and satisfied as possible.
Is this all that you need in order to climax a series of times? That's what my research said. And you know what? All of this has brought me to the conclusion that having a super orgasm is not really about mastering a particular technique. It's about being in a tranquil state, thoroughly enjoying your partner and remaining in each and every sexual moment until you transition into the next one. Shoot, if you do those three things, how could you not have some really intense orgasms—or at least a helluva lot of fun tryin' to?
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
This Is How You Master The Female Orgasm
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
How To Orgasm With Your Partner At The Same Time
Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List
Feature image by Giphy
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images