![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![Pucker Up: Let's Make Your Lips Even More Kissable](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy80ODU2MTY5NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTczNTA2NDM0NX0.i4ZYukE8lIENL2ReV1qdRQddxH9E7mgADBZujOtJqX4/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C0%2C0%2C263)
Pucker Up: Let's Make Your Lips Even More Kissable
A few weeks ago, while penning a piece on dating pet peeves, a few people said the same thing. To quote one individual verbatim: “I hate kissing someone for the first time and their lips feel dry or really rough. As far as first impressions go, that one is hard to shake; especially if they’re a bad kisser on top of it.”
The poor kissing form? That’s something we’ll have to deal with at another time, chile. As far as the initial concerns, however, that is something that we can address quick, fast, and in a hurry. Because if there’s one thing that I think we all can get on the same page about, it’s the fact that the best kisses consist of two people who have a set of super soft ‘n smooth lips — and here are 12 ways to get ‘em.
How To Make Your Lips Soft
1. Consume Vitamin B3
Getty Images
Vitamin B is an interesting type of nutrient because, actually, there are eight different forms of it. Anyway, vitamin B3 is also called niacin; it’s beneficial for you because it helps to keep your digestive and nervous systems in peak condition. Some other cool things about this particular B vitamin are it can help to lower your blood pressure, treat type 1 diabetes and it can keep your skin in great shape, in part, because it protects your skin from sun damage.
Some health professionals say that a niacin deficiency can result in dry and cracked lips, and that’s why this nutrient tops the list of things that you can do to keep your lips soft and healthy. Some foods that are high in vitamin B3 include bananas, brown rice, red meat, fish, poultry, fortified cereals, and green peas. Of course, you can always take a B-complex vitamin to get more of B3 into your system as well.
2. Avoid Certain Beauty Brand Ingredients
Getty Images
If you lick your lips a lot, do everything in your power to try and break that bad habit. The reason why it can dry your lips out is due to the fact that your spit contains digestive enzymes that can actually weaken the skin that is on them. Know what else can dry your lips out? Certain popular ingredients that are found in various cosmetics, including lip products.
Some that top the list include camphor, menthol, salicylic acid, fragrance, and (believe it or not) lanolin. Yeah, it’s kind of wild that many dermatologists frown on such a popular emollient; however, it seems that this issue is it tends to be a skin allergen for many. So, just make sure to do a small skin patch test on yourself before going all in with it.
3. Apply Sunscreen to Your Lips
Getty Images
Do you have some discoloration issues happening when it comes to your lips? It could be because you haven’t been proactive about shielding them from the damage that the sun can do. Yep, just like you need to protect your skin from UV rays, your lips need that same kind of proactive care. Otherwise, they can experience dark spots, dryness, and even fine lines and wrinkles around them. So, before you put any kind of lip color on your lips, apply a lip balm that has some SPF in it. Allure has a list of some great recommendations here.
Also, don’t assume that this tip is only for late spring and the summertime. According to the Skin Cancer Foundation, the sun can burn you any time of the year — even when it’s very cold outside.
4. Massage Your Lips with Some Sweet Almond Oil
Getty Images
As far as skincare is concerned, I’m always and forever gonna be a huge fan of sweet almond oil. Aside from the fact that the nutrients in it can help to keep your skin hydrated, smooth, and glowing, there are studies that say it can reduce dandruff and help prevent hair loss too. The reason why it’s great for your lips, specifically, is it contains anti-inflammatory properties that help to soothe irritated lips.
Another bonus is that since many health professionals profess that sweet almond oil is a gentle exfoliator too, it can help to remove dead skin cells from your lips so that there’s less feathering and peeling. This brings me to my next tip.
5. DIY a Flavored Lip Scrub
Getty Images
If you’ve ever kissed someone who has dry lips or lips with little bits of flaking skin on them, you get how uncomfortable that can make the entire experience, regardless of how good their overall kissing technique may be. To make sure that you’re not the one who makes someone else feel this way, it’s important that you exfoliate your lips, a couple of times per week.
There are lip scrubs that you can purchase; however, there are also ones that you can make yourself. For instance, a mixture of brown sugar and grapeseed oil can get the job done. Or, if you’d like to create a variety of lip scrubs to choose from, Healthline has several here and StyleCraze has many others here.
6. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Baking Soda
Getty Images
If your child happened to come home one day with a busted lip, one of the best things that you could do is create a paste that uses baking soda as a base. The logic behind it all is that baking soda contains anti-inflammatory and antiseptic properties that can help speed up the healing process. This is why baking soda is also great for healing canker sores and even bringing relief to the itchiness that can sometimes come with herpes breakouts (on the lips). Just something to keep in mind if you want to take an at-home approach to semi-minor skin irritations.
7. Go Easy on the Super Hot Drinks
Getty Images
Listen, I enjoy a hot drink just like the next gal. At the same time, it would make sense that if it’s not a good idea to bathe or shower in really hot water (because it has a tendency to dehydrate your skin) that the same temperature shouldn’t constantly hit your lips either. From what I’ve read and researched, super hot drinks can weaken the lipid barrier on your lips and that can lead to either really chapped ones or even burned lips. So, at the very least, if you’re about to go in for a big kiss after a date, drink something cool instead of some hot cocoa beforehand.
8. Tint Your Lips with an All-Natural Rose Paste
Getty Images
The history of red lipstick is an interesting one; one that is kind of all over the place. Some say that it used to be a status symbol. Others say that it was a way to seduce men into marriage (and/or sex). Some stories state that was an act of rebellion (against male authority). And then there’s the, perhaps, most common take: red lips remind men of vaginal lips (hmm…).
Whatever the reason/motive/intention may be for you personally (even if it’s just because you look bomb in it, as most Black women do), since reportedly 81 percent of women wear lipstick on a daily basis, if you want to add a bit of color to your lips yet your partner hates it when lip product all over his mouth whenever you’re kissing him, something that you can do is make a rose paste for your lips.
You can do this by making a type that can sit on your lips for a few minutes (one recipe is here) or by creating a rose lip balm (recipe here). Either way, your lips will receive a good amount of vitamins, antioxidants, and minerals and the paste will add a hint of a rosy tint to them too.
9. Use Vitamin E As a “Primer”
Getty Images
Aside from shea butter, another one of my favorite “lip primers” is vitamin E. It’s a fat-soluble vitamin that deeply moisturizes your lips. For some, it can even make your lips appear a bit fuller due to the way that this nutrient hydrates them. You can purchase some vitamin E oil in a bottle; however, what I do is just get the gel capsules, pierce them with a needle, and apply the oil that way.
Tip: If you want a glossier base, go with vitamin E. If you’re going to create a matte lip, shea butter is better; it’s less “greasy” yet it will still give your lips plenty of the vitamins and softness that they need.
10. Add Some Honey to Your Lip Gloss
Getty Images
If you want a way to keep that man on your mouth for as long as possible, all you’ve got to do is add a dab of honey to your lip gloss. Not only will your lips taste absolutely delicious, because honey is a humectant (which means it pulls moisture from the air), but it will also deeply moisturize your lips. Not only that but it also can help to protect your lips from UV damage as well as keep your lips looking youthful (because, believe it or not, yes…lips do age).
11. Try a Combination of Hyaluronic Acid and Evening Primrose on Irritated Lips
Getty Images
Something that I’ve been getting into, this year especially, is some hyaluronic acid (check out “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday”). I’ve been consistent with it when it comes to my skin (for the deep hydration), I’m making a transition into adding it to a particular hair product of mine (to give my tresses some extra moisture) and I’m going to tiptoe into applying it to my lips as well.
Since this type of acid is also considered to be a humectant, it will help to moisturize your lips as well as keep them super soft and smooth. Then, if you put a bit of evening primrose oil on top of a layer of the acid, the properties in it will add hydration and elasticity as it works overtime to prevent internal hydration from leaving your lips.
12. Add Some Ghee Butter to Them at Night
Getty Images
If a part of you has always wondered what ghee butter is all about, the long short of it is, it’s a clarified butter that has all of the water removed from it. Since it’s high in fatty acids, vitamins B12, D, and E, and a host of other nutrients, both your skin and lips will literally drink it up since it helps to hydrate your skin, smooth out the appearance of discoloration, and get rid of cracking.
So, if you want to keep your lips in great shape throughout the night, apply a thin layer of ghee to them at night — and then possibly after washing your face and brushing your teeth on cold winter mornings because, another thing that it has a solid reputation for, is shielding your lips from the cold. Good thing to know!
Now hop off of this thing and apply these tips…so that you can take your future kisses to the very next level. You’re welcome. #wink
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images
- 10 DIY Tips For Sexier Lips (Than You Already Have) ›
- 8 Lip Products You Need To Cop If You Haven't Already ›
- I Tried It: 5 Longwear Lipsticks That Are Actually Worth The Coin ›
- 7 Things You Didn't Know Were Keeping Your Lips Dry ›
- Sweeten Your Self-Care: The Must-Have Sugar Scrubs For Your Body Care Routine ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by FotosbyFola
'ACross Generations With Tiffany Cross' Highlight Career Hardships With Melba Moore And Amari Marshall
ACross Generations with Tiffany Cross, the thought-provoking podcast featuring intergenerational discussions returns with a new episode exploring the realities of the entertainment industry.
This installment brings together host Tiffany Cross, Tony Award-winning actress and Grammy-nominated singer Melba Moore, and dancer extraordinaire Amari "Monster" Marshall. The dynamic trio engages in a compelling conversation, delving into the artists' financial struggles, the impact of social media, and the importance of mentorship in the industry.
A standout moment in the discussion came when Moore, who has been in the entertainment industry for over 50 years, shared how losing everything ultimately helped her conquer career-related fears.
“I think losing my whole life, losing my daughter, losing my family, losing my career, [and] being homeless,” she said.
To provide context for her past hardships, Moore recounted living in Central Park South in New York, an area described as unsafe at night due to crimes like mugging and assault.
“That’s where I used to live,” she added. “That’s when I realized I have to get a suitcase with wheels.”
When Cross inquired about how Moore, a successful Broadway actress and singer, ended up in such dire circumstances, the 78-year-old shared a shocking revelation. Moore explained that her husband, who also served as her manager, had forged her signature to transfer all their assets to himself.
“My manager/husband, behind my back, forged my name on divorce documents,” she said. “Divorced me. Signed all of our business and marital assets to himself.”
Moore revealed she discovered her ex-husband's actions through his family. Fearing for her safety and reputation, she decided to go public with her story. She explained that she wanted the press to be aware of her situation if something happened to her, ensuring her legacy wouldn't be tainted by false headlines.
Eventually, Moore regained her footing after starring in Michael Matthews' gospel Broadway productions, which led to other roles. Since then, Moore disclosed that despite the hardships caused by her ex-husband's actions, her family is now healing.
Following Moore's admission, Cross expressed disbelief at the actress's experience but noted that many people are going through similar situations and using social media to expose them.
“There’s so many incidents like this and now with Instagram, you see the mess,” she stated.
Further into the discussion, Marshall opened up about the struggles she faced as a dancer early in her career. She revealed a particularly challenging situation where an employer took most of her earnings, leaving her to survive on only $100 a month.
“Me and my mom lived in every part of Los Angeles before we were able to get our own studio apartment,” she shared. “It was a family of six. I’m traveling the world nonstop. Nobody would have known that I was still making $100 a month.”
Marshall explained that she didn't openly discuss her financial hardships, leading people to make assumptions. Because she worked with stars like Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Janet Jackson, and Beyoncé and toured the world, many believed that Marshall was earning a substantial amount of money.
Following that experience, Marshall learned the importance of navigating the business and budgeting effectively. Toward the end of the conversation, the star reflected on how challenging times can ultimately benefit one's life.
“If you don’t have those bad times, you’re not really learning,” she said.
The full episode of ACross Generations with Tiffany Cross, featuring this discussion and other compelling topics, is now streaming on the show's official YouTube channel.
Celebrating the Impact of Black Women in Arts with Melba Moore and Amari Marshall
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image ACross Generations With Tiffany Cross/ YouTube