![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTMyNDA5MS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTc3MTg4OTYzMn0.F-aBsUUPObgAsTgp7T3dhiN-WlgAxvG698AZ9gBp7W0/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C176%2C0%2C177)
Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.
Kissing is such a fascinating thing — to me. The reason why I say that is because, if the person you are exchanging a kiss with is someone who is good at it, it can be the sexiest, most special and most exhilarating thing ever. On the other hand, if they aren't so good — it's just gross. I don't know about y'all, but kissing is such a big deal in my world that I once broke up with someone, in part, because they totally sucked at doing it. It was like, no matter how hard I tried to explain to them what I needed in order to feel like we were in "kissing sync", they would continue to go off and do their own thing. All over my face (yuck).
Hmph. One day, maybe we'll talk about how a lot of people's kissing techniques can explain how they get down when it comes to communication and connection, in general (chile). For now, I'll just say that if you've got someone who is a great kisser in your life (the "Usher kind" and otherwise #wink), don't take them for granted because not all kissers are created equal. Oh, and if you're looking for an orgasm hack that has quite a bit of scientific proof to back it up, that's another reason to kiss more often because, from what I've read and researched, a gateway to more climaxing is definitely more kissing.
How Kissing Emotionally Improves Sex
Can people have great sex without an emotional connection? It's been known to happen. Still, even with the individuals I know who are huge casual sex fans, whenever we engage in semi-deep chats, something that they all have told me is that sex is so much better when there is an emotional bond between them and their partner. Something that emphasizes that kind of bond and even helps to cultivate it is kissing. I've actually checked out a study that said the frequency that two people kiss can actually reveal quite a bit when it comes to how relationally and sexually satisfied they actually are with one another.
While I do think it's interesting that this study also stated that men find kissing to be more essential at the beginning of the relationship as well as it being an act of foreplay while women believed that kissing is important all throughout when you really stop to think about it, how could kissing not help to cultivate a stronger emotional bond which could make sex so much better in the long run? You've got to get close to kiss and, if you do it all of the time, there's got to be some strong chemistry, good energy, and a real connection that you feel with your partner. Otherwise…why would you do it?
How Kissing Physically Enhances Sex
When I was in college, I used to hear quite a bit of people (men and women alike) talk about how they could have sex and not kiss during the act. Then I wrote an article for this platform where some people told me that they could do the same thing (check out "Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?"). Chile, I can't even remotely relate because, to me, kissing is what arouses me to want to get closer and go deeper…if you know what I mean. Science backs these sentiments too.
For one thing, kissing triggers the brain release of natural "feel-good hormones" like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. And when I mean "feel good", I mean that they can make you hornier and even cause you to feel somewhat euphoric. Kissing also reduces your cortisol levels and I think we all can vouch for the fact that the more relaxed we feel, the more we're literally able to take it all in (pun intended) which makes for a much more pleasurable sexual experience. Also, kissing increases your heart rate. As a direct result, your blood vessels dilate, all over your body, which can result in more sexual stimulation and more intensified orgasms.
Also, because one of the things that saliva has in it is testosterone and that is a sex hormone booster when you're kissing your partner, it can trigger its level as well. Oh, and if you've got a headache? One way to ease it is to kiss because kissing lowers your blood pressure which results in less head tension.
Gee, if you put all of these things together, how could it not be extremely obvious that kissing is an activity that can physically get you interested in having sex and keep you totally and sensually involved before, during, and after the act is done?
How Kissing Can Make Orgasms More Possible and Intensifies Them
Here's a point that just might be your "something new" for the day. OK, so a man's penis has around 4,000 nerve endings in it. Your clitoris? About twice that many. Bookmark that. Interestingly enough, when I was asking a male friend of mine to explain to me what an orgasm felt like to him, he said that rubbing my tongue along the inside of my cheek was the closest he could come to defining it. And looka here — word on the street is that our lips are 100 times more sensitive than say, our fingertips. In fact, I once read that, according to the Kama Sutra, our lips "mimic" our vagina with our lips representing our labia, the "dip" of our upper lip representing our clitoris, and the palate above the top of our front teeth representing our G-spot (very interesting). If you add to all of this the fact that kissing involves, shoot, all of our five senses, on some level (taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing), I totally get how kissing can make an orgasm happen — or that it can cause the ones that are happening to go to even greater heights!
Matter of fact, I can raise my hand in this class and say that there have been a few men in my past who were such kissing masters (and our connection was so "there") that I was able to have an orgasm, just by kissing alone. And boy, is it something to behold. BE. HOLD. And again, that would make complete and total sense if our lips are way more sensitive than some of the other parts of our body — parts that we may even consider to be erogenous zones.
Honestly, I don't know what else to tell y'all other than, if you either struggle with climaxing or you want the ones that you do experience to go another level, kissing more often, more intently, and more intensely could be the solution that you've been looking for. So, next time that you're about to get it on and in, focus on kissing more — not just as a way to get things started but to keep things going. You might just be surprised how it makes you feel…head to toe. Quite literally.
Featured image by Giphy
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Here’s How To Start Running As A Beginner, According To An Expert
As the summer heats up, so does the desire to participate in outdoor activities that keep you moving and connected to others. Among these extracurriculars, running checks all the boxes.
If you look anywhere on TikTok, you might think that just about everyone is running these days. It only takes a few scrolls before you stumble across someone taking their viewers along for 10-mile runs or trading dating apps for run clubs.
Running is beginner-friendly, requires little investment, and offers a number of mental and physical health benefits, so it’s clear why the sport has become the hottest new hobby to participate in. And if you’re one of the countless individuals inspired to lace up your shoes and hit the pavement, you might be looking for a few practical tips to start your own running journey.
"The most important thing you can do for yourself as a runner or someone who's interested in starting to run is being consistent," Ashlee Green, co-founder of RUNGRL, a digital-first community for Black women distance runners, tells xoNecole.
When Green first began her running journey, she recalls never quite seeing herself as a runner “and certainly not an athlete.” It wasn’t until she moved to Chicago and worked for the city’s Nike store that her views on the sport began to expand. “I had a friend who ran, I had access to shoes, I had access to the Lakefront,” which eventually became her personal track.
A move to Washington, D.C., led to her joining a local running club, District Running Collective, which not only solidified running as a core part of her wellness practice but a cornerstone to building community.
“Community is absolutely what helped me to feel like I was an athlete and an actual runner,” she says. “It was through the opportunity to both show up as a community member and, over time, as a community leader, that deepened my commitment to the sport for myself and the impact that it would have on other people.”
Through RUNGRL, Green has since created a supportive environment along with her co-founder that encourages beginners to start where they are, grow in their journey alongside like-minded women, and “ultimately inspire more Black women to get and stay moving.”
To help get your running journey off on the right foot, Green spoke with xoNecole to provide the best tips for building stamina, finding a run club that fits your needs, and becoming the runner you desire to be.
Consistency Is Key.
“I feel like there's this sort of general, societal understanding that running must be easy, but it's not,” she says. “What does help it become easier is when you're consistent and committed to showing up for yourself and the miles on a consistent basis.”
“That doesn't mean you need to be running six or seven days a week. But what it does mean is that you’re committed to twice a week, three times a week, or whatever works for you and your schedule,” she adds. “Move your body and find ways to build up the stamina and the endurance you’re seeking because everybody's journey is different.”
Find an Accountability Partner.
“Having your ‘gworls’ with you makes it a lot easier,” Green says. “Somebody who can go through the experience with you, talk about how you're feeling, and tell you that your hair still looks great even though you're out there sweating. Having friends along the way, I have found, has made the journey better. Everything is better with your girls.”
Set a Personal Goal.
Green tells us, “Signing up for a race or just having an end goal and something to work towards makes it easier to build a plan or establish consistency because you’re working towards something specific.”
“Whether you want to run a mile by a certain day or sign up for this 5k, setting those types of goals helps you to have something to look forward to and work towards.”
Comparison Is the Thief of Joy.
“A lot of the times on the internet, we see success stories and people crossing the finish line, but running hardly ever looks like that all the time,” she says. “Most of the time, it sucks. I don't always physically enjoy the act of running, but what I do enjoy and appreciate, is what it brings and will continue to bring to my life: movement, wellness, community, accountability, and representation.”
“You don't have to compare yourself to the next person — you don't know what they're going through off of Instagram. One foot in front of the other is all that you can control, and that's all that you should feel beholden to in your process.”
Choosing the Best Run Club for You.
Green advises, “Seek out the groups, the clubs, and the crews that are into running for community, accountability, and creating safe spaces for people like us. This particular boom is really interesting, and it's trending around dating and things like that, which, in my opinion, takes away the feelings of safety and showing up because I want to be well and better myself.”
“So seek out groups that are in it for the right reasons as you are in search of your best self,” she adds.
Adopt a Healthy Mindset.
“One of the things that I often tell myself is, ‘You can do hard things.” Another one that RunGurl says all the time, “If you run a mile, you can do anything,” Green says. “One thing that I find myself saying when I’m actively running is, “No matter where you are on the run, you can do anything for 10 minutes. You can do anything for five minutes. You can do anything for however much longer you have to go. It's only a set amount of time left, but I can do it, I can show up for myself, and I will get through it.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Catherine Falls Commercial/Getty Images