As a part of our Her Weekend, Her Way feature, we're talking to some of our favorite boss ladies about their weekends, their way. How do they relax, recharge and refuel? As we all know, life shouldn't be all about work. It's what we do beyond business and career that help keep us motivated and able to dominate for the week ahead.
Meet Shelah Marie - CEO and Founder of Curvy, Curly Conscious, a safe space for Black women to connect and heal. Check out how she takes time to practice what she preaches and prioritize taking time for herself to unwind.
How Shelah spends her Fridays:
"On a Friday, you can find me getting lost in a binge-worthy Netflix series with a glass (or three) of wine, having a nice dinner with friends or the boo. You can also very likely find me browsing the aisles of HomeGoods because it seems I am always updating the decor in my house for some reason."
Courtesy of Shelah Marie
The perfect Saturday Morning:
"My favorite way to spend a Saturday morning is by taking some type of fitness class. I'm really into hot yoga right now or bootcamp workout classes. I love group fitness because it keeps me motivated and excited. After that's out of the way, I can go back to HomeGoods or head home to read in the sunlight or leisurely catch up on random tasks."
Shelah’s ideal Girls' Night:
"With our group, we are busy women pulled in a thousand directions so we find that making finite plans for an agreed amount of time helps us stick to a plan. We love bowling, going to concerts or having girls' dinners. We are also always good for a pool day."
Courtesy of Shelah Marie
How recharging helped her business:
"As a business owner, the work never stops. The to-do list is never-ending, so if you do not carve out time to actually live life, you become a slave to your business and that's the opposite of the lifestyle I want. It's important to remember that we are not robots. We are not simply here to work and get things done. We are here to experience life, pleasure and joy in the midst of reaching our goals."
Connect with Shelah Marie on Instagram @theshelahmarie.
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Her captivating command of the pole left many of us intrigued, perhaps even tempted, to explore pole dancing ourselves after witnessing the mesmerizing performances at Mercedes Sunday. But it wasn’t just her physical prowess that kept us hooked. Mercedes is a character of depth—empowering, complex, relatable, and deeply human.
These are qualities that Brandee embodies both on and off the screen.
(L-R) Marque Richardson and Brandee Evans on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
A Memphis native, Brandee is no stranger to dance. She boasts an impressive career as a choreographer, having worked with renowned artists like Katy Perry, Monica, Ke$ha, and Ledisi. But while it has been a significant part of her journey, Brandee has her sights set on more—expanding her acting career beyond dance-inclusive roles. This ambition nearly led her to pass on the opportunity to appear alongside Kerry Washington in Hulu’s UnPrisoned, where she plays Ava, Mal's (Marque Richardson) new girlfriend.
“When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no,” Brandee revealed with a laugh. “She mentioned pole dancing, and I told myself and my team that once I was done with Mercedes, I wasn’t going to do that again.” Fortunately, Washington assured her that the role would be vastly different, leading to what Brandee described as an invaluable masterclass in comedy under the guidance of Washington herself.
“Kerry is a force of nature,” Brandee reflected. “She’s everything you’d hope she’d be—strong, compassionate, and incredibly talented. Working with her was like a masterclass in acting.” This opportunity was no mere stroke of luck; it was something Brandee had manifested years earlier. But make no mistake–she credits her faith and praying hands for her success. “I’m praying, you know what I mean? I’m asking God for what I want and working for it too,” she said.
"When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no."
(L-R) Brandee Evans, Kerry Washington, and Marque Richardson on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
This role marked Brandee’s first foray into comedy, and while she was eager to embrace the challenge, she found herself in the hands of an incredible mentor. “Kerry was always so kind in her critiques,” Brandee noted. “She’s not a diva by any means. She knows exactly what she wants, but she’s gentle and encouraging in bringing it out of you. That’s something I’ve taken with me to other sets—I want to lead with the same kindness and openness that Kerry showed me. It’s a lesson I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”
Brandee speaks with profound respect and gratitude for her peers and fellow actresses as many have shown her genuine sisterhood and support in an industry often notorious for its competitiveness. “Danielle Brooks sent me a prayer the other day, and I was just so touched. Those are the moments that people don’t see,” she shared. “I call Sheryll Lee Ralph my fairy godmother, and Loretta Devine is like my auntie. Being able to pick up the phone and seek advice from these incredible women is a true blessing.”
And she pays it forward.
Brandee Evans
Courtesy: Hulu
But her commitment to supporting others extends far beyond her career. As an advocate for health and wellness, she empowers women to prioritize their well-being. “Azaria [Carter], who plays my daughter on P-Valley, mentioned wanting to start a weight loss journey and get more fit. I told her, ‘Well, let’s work out together,’” Brandee recounted. But her dedication to healthy living goes beyond physical fitness, encompassing a holistic approach to wellness. “When she came to my house and tried to microwave something in plastic, I said, ‘Let’s use glass instead. At 20, I wasn’t thinking about that, but let me share some tips now so you’re not battling fibroids in your 30s.’”
Because she was.
While filming the first season of P-Valley, Brandee faced enormous stress—not only as a caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but also due to the physical demands of the role. Yet the impact on her body was far greater than she expected. “I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal,” Brandee revealed. It was Harriet D. Foy, who plays her mother, who urged her to get checked for fibroids.
"I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal."
Brandee Evans graces the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony.
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE
The statistics are staggering—80% of Black women develop abnormal uterine growths by age 50, making them more likely to suffer from fibroids than any other racial group. But like many, Brandee was initially unaware of these growths and their debilitating effects, and the prospect of surgery was daunting. “I was scheduled to have a myomectomy on my birthday, but I thought about what it would mean for my career. How am I going to climb the pole? The healing process is similar to a C-section.” Determined to avoid surgery, she committed to healing herself naturally.
After a deep dive, she sought treatment at The Herb Shop of Vinings in Atlanta, which ultimately led to a remarkable recovery. “This man saves lives. His name is Jeff, and I call him my doctor.” Brandee shared. “I started detoxing my body with herbs and following his program. During my follow-up with the gynecologist, they said, ‘We don’t know what you’re doing, but your fibroids are shrinking.’”
Emerging on the other side of this journey not only fibroid-free but with a regulated cycle and a renewed outlook on life, Brandee is now focused on sharing her story and advocating for women’s health. “I know y’all want to hear about P-Valley, but I want to talk about regulating your period,” she said with a laugh.
Of course, she didn’t leave fans hanging when it came to what to expect in the upcoming season. “It is worth the wait. The world is about to go crazy. Oh, the world is about to lose it,” Brandee teased. “Y’all might be mad at us right now, but baby, it’s going to be worth it.”
All episodes of Season 2 of UnPrisoned are now streaming on Hulu.
Featured image courtesy of Hulu
The closer you get to about 43 or so, the more pertinent this type of info becomes.
If you add to that the fact that sex is something that I write about pretty regularly over here, then yes — I thought that it is honestly past time that I interview some women who are past having a menstrual cycle and all that comes with it (which can be a blessing in disguise on a few levels, chile) and yet, at the same time, are having the time of their lives as far as copulation is concerned. Because although you might’ve heard otherwise, being post-menopausal doesn’t make you “old,” nor does it have to mark the end of anything up in that bedroom of yours (easily 40 percent of people between 65 and 80 have a solid sex life). For some, it’s been just the beginning as far as taking pleasure and intimacy to a whole ‘nother level is concerned.
Don’t believe me? Read on.
*Middle names are always used by me with this type of content to respect people’s privacy*
Giphy1. Maven. Divorced. 51.
“I know people like to act like menopause is the end of the world, but that isn’t the case for me. I couldn’t wait for my periods to stop, and almost two years from going through menopause, I can say that the process was easier for me than periods were. My PMS was awful, and even though I did have some hot flashes and restless nights, menopause symptoms were still easier. Now? Being able to have sex whenever I feel like without having to pay attention to a damn calendar? That is enough to make post-menopause bliss!”
2. Analia. Married. 50.
“My hormone levels have always been off and it was draining how much my doctor and I would have to work to find balance for them again. The hormone therapy that I’ve gone through since menopause has totally changed my life because we have finally found the right ‘cocktail’ — one that I have never had before. Now, my libido is higher, I am wetter, and sex is more pleasurable. I know some look down on hormone therapy but it’s been nothing but a blessing for me.”
Giphy3. Carmen. Divorced. 49.
“Going through menopause forced me to study my body more than I ever have. Since the symptoms were unpredictable, I had to learn what I really needed to ‘feel like myself’ again. Being a student of my body helped me to learn what works for me and what doesn't — and that made me want to study my body in other ways. Menopause was a blessing in disguise because it has made me more sexually self-aware.”
4. Madison. Married. 54.
“I’ve been married for over 25 years at this point, and I think my hubby will tell you that this is the best sex that both of us have ever had. A part of it is because sex does get better with time when you’re married; your man learns intricate things, and so do you. When it comes to menopause, sex has improved because I don’t bring fear into the bedroom. The fear I had was always worrying about getting pregnant. We have six children, and I love them all, but my body didn’t do well with [hormonal] birth control, my husband wasn’t about to use condoms, so we did a lot of pulling out — A LOT.
"Six kids in, obviously, sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. After child five, I was starting to get paranoid; after child six, I definitely was. Being able to have sex now without pregnancy being an issue has caused my freak flag to fly — and I’m sure I don’t have to expound on how thrilled my hubby is about not having to pull out anymore!”
Giphy5. Thomasina. Engaged. 39.
“I had a full hysterectomy, and that put me into early surgical menopause. To say that I was depressed for a while is kind of an understatement because I don’t think anyone plans to go through menopause at 34. The good thing is I already had children and didn’t want more; I just needed to adjust to no ovaries. Some people say it’s controversial, but wild yam helped me out. I wanted to treat my lack of estrogen naturally, so I also took black cohosh, DHEA, and evening primrose oil. I have an estrogen-rich diet with foods like soy, dried apricots, blackberries, and garlic, and meditation [has] helped.
"Adjusting [to] and accepting my new normal is what I had to do. When I was dating my now-fiancé, one of the first things he said was he didn’t want any more kids, and one of the first things that I shared was that kids weren’t [physically] on the table for me. That immediately took pressure off of us, and not having to figure out a birth control plan has been a load off. Stressless sex is always better sex.”
6. Doris. Dating. 49.
“I’m just a year into post-menopause and it’s magnifique! I don’t care what doctors say, I felt like my PMS was all month long, so not having to deal with a period means not feeling bloated, achy, and unattractive — none of that puts a woman in the mood for sex. Just feeling like my body isn’t [a] slave to my PMS symptoms has been a relief. I also like traveling without a period because I can go whenever I feel like it, and my travel companion doesn’t have to worry about if I’m not ‘in the mood’ or can’t have sex because my damn period is around.”
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Giphy7. Johanna. Dating. 52.
“How many times has a woman brought up the thrill of not worrying about pregnancy? For me, that has been the best part about sex after menopause. I don’t think that men get how much birth control consumes the thought process of women. It takes forever to find something that works and doesn’t come with side effects. Then you’ve got to get your insurance to cover it. Then your body goes through changes that might mean that you have to start all over with your birth control search. HEADACHE. Now that I’m past menopause, none of this is an issue. I still need to use rubbers; Mama ain’t dumb. But not worrying about conception takes a lot of pressure off.”
8. Zantha. Married. 38.
“It runs in my family that women go through menopause early, so I wasn’t blindsided or anything. If I didn’t know about it in college, going through it might’ve been difficult but I had my kids young. Hormone therapy has been annoying, but the extra estrogen has made me wetter than ever, and that has made me have more orgasms. Everything has a silver lining, including menopause.”
Giphy9. Faysa. Married. 51.
“My sex drive didn’t really change after menopause; lubrication did. I didn’t want to do estrogen therapy because I know about some of the risks that come with it. Instead, I did what I had never done before, [I] tried lubrication. At first, I was a bit embarrassed because wetness has never been an issue for me. But as my man and I started experimenting with different types of lube, including flavors and all of the ways to bring it into foreplay and sex, I found it to be something that I wished that we had used all along! He feels the same way.”
Shellie here: Yeah, lubricant can definitely be your friend. Check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant.”
10. Jacqueline. Divorced. 55.
“Mine is more about how aging has changed my thoughts about menopause. The older I get, I truly don’t give a f-ck what people think — and that has made me more confident. Gray pubic hairs? Sexy. Breasts not as firm? More ways to get creative. No period? It means there is no time of the month when I’m not in the mood. Learn how to keep up. Going through the stages of menopause wasn’t fun, but now that I’m out of all of that, my sex life is better because I see myself as an experienced, daring woman who doesn’t have to revolve my spontaneity around my uterus. You won’t know freedom like that until you come to where I am.”
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It was King Solomon who once said that everything has a time and a season. And when it comes to the season of menopause, please don’t let society and culture make you think that your life is coming to an end. As you just read, even when it comes to your sex life, on some levels, it is only just beginning! #wink
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