

LiL Fizz Reminds Us That Even “Perfect” Parents Need Support Too
I don't usually take most of what I see on VH1 seriously, but Monday night's episode of Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood took a different direction and actually featured a segment that wasn’t all Vodka Redbulls to the face during a brunch brawl. Or the main chick and side chick beefing over breakfast while their man sits between them scrolling through Twitter.
Lil’ Fizz is pretty much the closest thing to Father-Of-The-Year by reality show standards, and took a moment on the last episode to remind us about the importance of having solid support systems. If you aren’t familiar with the cast, I’m referring to Omarion’s homeboy, “Lethal Like Danny Glover” Lil’ Fizz of B2K fame. Fizz (whose real name is Dreux) has a son with Moniece Slaughter, who has always been made to appear a little all over the place being romantically linked to celebs like Shaquille O’Neal and Rich Dollaz as of late. Her professional career has consisted of everything from singing to sex toys, but unfortunately what she’s probably most famous for is a very public custody battle she has with Fizz over their son, Kameron.
Since joining the show, the two have had conflicting stories about their parenting skills and how Fizz came to have primary custody over Kameron, but if anything is clear it’s that Fizz has taken a bulk of the responsibility for some time when it comes to Kameron’s daily care including paying his school tuition and buying clothes and other necessities. And while I don’t believe Fizz is asking for a chocolate chip cookie with sprinkles for fulfilling his duties as a father, he did remind me Monday night about how hard parenting can be, especially when you’re forced to do it on your own.
On Monday's episode, Fizz took it upon himself to approach Moniece's mother, Marla, about pitching in more in Moniece's absence to help out with Kameron’s care. He points out that Moniece is falling back into bad habits by taking a raincheck on her scheduled weekends with Kameron. Basically Fizz lets her know he’s tired of getting his single super-dad on all the time, and feels that if Moniece can’t handle motherhood while dealing with her own issues, he should at least be able to depend on her parents to jump in for the sake of their grandson. Just so we’re clear, Marla doesn’t strike me as the type to spend her Sundays perfecting her peach cobbler and killing it at choir practice. She gives me more of a “spin class” and Scandal stan vibe, but regardless of her interests, it’s clear that she is very critical of Moniece and her life and relationship choices. Moniece has revealed in the past what led to their strained relationship:
“Growing up, I definite didn’t have a friendship with my mom or a real relationship with my biological father, either. I was really more into the relationship with my stepdad. I felt growing up he was the only person…that really considered me.”
And Marla’s response to Fizz’s plea isn’t exactly #TeamMoniece as she suggests the only way to successfully co-parent with Moniece in Kameron’s best interest is to take Moniece to court and get complete custody. Now, my feeling is a lot of things are being unsaid and maybe Marla is just practicing a little tough love, but in the most mature moment I would argue in Love and Hip-Hop history Fizz declares that what is in the best interest of Kameron is for Marla to be a solid support system for both her grandson AND her daughter.
Say what you want about the boy’s messy romantic choices, but at that moment I wanted to bottle up Fizz’s maturity and sell it on Amazon Prime. At first, I found myself co-signing Marla’s advice. I’ve seen too many parents casually have kids only to dump them on their grandparents as soon as those terrible two’s hit and turning up every day is way more of an attractive priority than keeping your kid from gluing the pets together. I even caught myself verbally saying, “Naw, Fizz, now you’re doing the most. Marla is done raising her kids.” But Fizz is right, and being a parent is a lifetime responsibility that doesn’t just end after 18 years. As much as Marla tries to call him out on his questionable decision to date Moniece and raise a family, he pleads with her through tears:
“If you’re gonna be a parent to Moniece, Marla, I feel like you should support her through her demise. Period.”
Marla reveals that she herself is a mere 47-years-old and can relate to his single-parent struggle after having Moniece at 19 and for the most part raising her on her own. When Fizz later brings up the conversation to Moniece, she has a mini-breakdown reiterating that, “No one cares!” and it’s obvious that her own parenting (or lackthereof) is probably the result of a cycle of poor communication and inconsistent support. Fizz is the epitome of unconditional love when he responds:
““You’re attacking me, and I’m the one that’s been helping.”“I love you and I know that Kameron loves you, and I need you to figure this out, Moniece.”
Maybe I’m being extra, but if that doesn’t hit you straight in “the feels” I don’t know what will.
What I’m learning about parenting is that all you can do is the best you can with what you have. I don’t like asking folks for help. I don’t like feeling indebted to anyone or placing myself in a position where people can make or break my life. I think in many ways, especially being a black woman, asking for help is more like admitting a weakness or flaw. But let me let you in a little secret: No one raises a child alone, and better still, no one should have to. Unfortunately, people find themselves as single-parents every day. Does that mean you should put up with baby mama drama or shiftless baby daddies? Hell to the no. But even if you’re lacing up your cape every day and single-handedly killing supermom status, what’s in the best interest of a child is a well-balanced parent who knows the importance of self-care and being able to ask for help. And you can only accomplish that when you have a team to talk you off the ledge when the score is You: 0, The Parenting Struggle: 1000.
I can’t tell you how much having two sets of fully supportive grandparents this past year has saved me in childcare expenses, as much as my patience and sanity. Whether my husband and I both have to work overtime or I need that happy hour once a month to make the difference between parental bliss and breakdown, I am glad to have parents that are committed to their new role as grandparents: to help me in my parenting journey and step in for their grandchild if for whatever reason we are unable to. I still don’t think grandparents should have the task of raising kids all over again, but I do think any good support system recognizes that parenting doesn’t just end when your children have kids of their own. I applaud the single parents out there who are raising awesome kids all by themselves, but the truth is Fizz isn't alone in admitting that child support is about more than what's taken from your check each month. Whether it’s a "Pop Pop," your cousins and 'nem, or your pastor, what's in the best interest of the parent and child is a solid support system.
Take a look at Fizz’s moment of truth below:
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Writer, sexual health superhero, and #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoy curator regularly featured on @Madamenoire. Toya can usually be found in between her earbuds, listening to trap music and refreshing her browser for concert tickets. Tweet her @thetruetsharee.
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Whether you prefer to travel in groups, solo, or on baecations, picking the right destination is a major component of ensuring a great trip. Where you go for your next vacation can come down to price, location, activity options, and a host of other things. We’ve seen how often group trips can go awry because each person has different interests and wants to do different things. But how do you pick the right place for yourself when there’s so many options to choose from?
Choosing a destination that will provide you with the most memorable experience comes down to your own needs, and believe it or not, your love language can help with that. Our love languages are a guide to how we prefer to receive love and support, as well as how we like to give it.
Knowing about our love language can help build healthy relationships, better self-care routines, and improve our overall well-being. Imagine centering your travel around the way that you like to be loved and then experiencing that each moment of your trip. Every place around the world is unique and thus can provide a different vibe and feeling for us. Figuring out the places that align with our love language can be a game changer in how we experience the world.
Whether you’re a quality time girlie like me or prefer acts of service, here’s some of the best destinations to visit based on the five love languages.
Rome, Italy
The “Eternal City” is home to the Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, and all the pasta and gelato that your heart desires. People who value acts of service love when things are done for them, and life is made easier. If that’s your jam, consider going to Rome and experiencing an authentic Italian dinner cooked by locals for you. What better act of service than having someone cook a full meal for you in their home?
No need to learn how to roll pasta dough or knead pizza. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the free-flowing wine while learning about Italian culture and having a 4-course meal provided for you. After that, take a guided city tour where someone else can show you around all the popular spots, skipping the lines and avoiding crowds.
Bangkok, Thailand
Having acts of service as your love language is not just about how others show you love but also about how you show it back. If you enjoy giving acts of service to others, consider heading to Thailand and visiting an ethical wildlife sanctuary where you can spend the day volunteering. Choose a place like Wildlife Friends Foundation Thailand, where people are not allowed to touch or ride the elephants but can help with harvesting bananas, cleaning enclosures, or even helping out in the animal clinic. You’ll leave feeling a sense of pride and knowing that your time was spent in a way that made an impact.
If your love language is physical touch, you might want to visit...
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Guatemala
There are so many ways that we can experience the love language of physical touch, and Guatemala is a tropical sanctuary that can provide just that. This South American country is full of rainforests, volcanoes, and ancient ruins and can be the perfect escape to get some TLC. Consider staying at a luxury hotel like Villa Bokeh, where you can get your physical needs met through massages, yoga, or rowing on their lagoon. And if you want to explore off the resort, get those steps in with a hike of one of Guatemala’s volcanoes.
If your love language is gift giving, you might want to visit...
Dubai
There’s no better place to go to for all your shopping needs than Dubai. Whether you are a gift giver or like to be spoiled, this is where you need to be. To start, the Dubai Mall is the largest mall in the world at over 12 million square feet. With around 1,200 shops to choose from, you are bound to find something for just about everyone. Dubai is not a budget destination, so leave a little extra space in your luggage and prepare to spend a pretty coin while you’re there. If luxury gifts aren’t your thing, head to the Covent Garden Market, where you can shop local vendors for more affordable items.
If your love language is quality time, you might want to visit...
Costa Rica
Whether you’re planning a cute baecation or a solo trip, quality time is all about disconnecting and spending intentional time with your loved one or yourself. Costa Rica is an ideal location to be off the grid and be present. Spend some special time with bae at a nice resort, enjoying a couples massage, a trip to the rainforest, or a sunset dinner. There’s something about being off the grid that allows us to be more present with each other.
If you want to get in some DND solo quality time, book a stay at Nayara Springs Resort, located on the outskirts of Antigua, where you can enjoy uninterrupted and secluded relaxation while indulging in amenities like yoga classes and a hot springs pool.
Marco VDM/Getty Images
Tanzania
There are many ways to spend quality time with yourself or others, so why not do it in one of the most beautiful countries in the world? Explore Dar es Salaam with family, learn about the history of Tanzania, and then spend more quality time at the beach on Mbudya Island. If you are looking for a more romantic trip or quality time on your own, go out to Zanzibar, the archipelago off the coast of Tanzania. Here you’ll find some of the most beautiful beaches in the world and can stroll through the historical Stone Town.
If your love language is words of affirmation, you might want to visit...
Paris, France
If words of affirmation get you feeling all tingly inside, then why not take a trip to the "City of Love," Paris, France? Not only is Paris considered the mecca for love, but French is literally one of the world’s romance languages. So take a French lesson where you can learn how to speak beautiful words about yourself, or if you’re with bae, take a stroll by the Eiffel Tower at night while sharing some of the things you appreciate about each other.
Bonus points if you can say it in French.
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Featured image by Diamond Dogs/Getty Images