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5 Reasons Pretending To Be Unbothered Can Hurt You
It's easy to turn a blind eye to things we swear aren't important or feel are worrisome and don't deserve energy. But sometimes, brushing things under the rug and acting "unbothered" are the core reasons we lack growth in certain areas. When the same lessons keep appearing in different forms, situations, and people, it's because we haven't dealt with certain issues appropriately. It's a reminder that we have some healing to do before we can really move forward freely and live life blessed not stressed.
Aside from being a Mean Girl, when we pretend like nothing matters or ever gets to us, we create this invincible character that people start to believe is really you. We become the "fake" strong friend who no one ever checks on because they think she always has life figured out. We can pretend that nothing ever phases us all we want but the reality of it is, we are all human beings and you're gonna experience a range full of emotions whether you want to address them or not.
You stunt your ability to learn and feel through things when you put up the façade of not giving a damn, and here are five ways being unbothered can hurt you more than help you in the long run:
1.Increased Trigger Points
We can try our hardest to be cool as a fan and above the BS, but oftentimes things trigger us to be cold, off-putting and downright an ass. When scenarios come around that cause us to become distant or unapproachable, we have to do some deep introspection and uncover why we even feel the way we do. It's totally OK to analyze how a situation or person makes us feel, however, we continue to be unable to identify why something triggers us when we put on a front and disregard our feelings. Denying yourself the right to feel through moments will only cause you to keep experiencing the same instances over and over again.
2.Lack of Compassion
Avoiding conflict is definitely necessary but when we pretend to have it all together, all the time, we lose touch with reality in the sense that no one walking this green earth will always have "it" figured out. Unfortunately, we all have unforeseen and undesirable moments that occur and it's perfectly fine to make sure nobody is throwing off your vibe. It's, however, another thing to be dismissive and rude to people when they are expressing themselves or going through a rough patch. We don't all grieve or handle issues in the same manner and before we become robotic and make an announcement saying, "Bih don't kill my vibe." You might want to make sure that person is stable enough to handle more rejection before you give the cold shoulder.
3.Unrealistic Expectations
The motto "you can get with this or you can get with that" only applies when you are choosing if you personally want to identify, acknowledge, or be a part of something. We can't expect anyone to think the way we think, feel how we feel, or understand our point of view. Every individual's outlook and perspective on life and situations are going to be different. We can agree to disagree with people but it's important we have an understanding of what another person's perspective is so that we aren't jumping to conclusions, cutting people off prematurely or just being judgmental.
4.Falsified Reality
It's all good until it ain't. We all know how to put on a fake smile and give our best Ms. America speech, but when it comes down to looking yourself in the mirror and seeing what your reflection displays, ask yourself, what do you see? It's so much easier for a person to act like it's all good versus expressing what they really are dying to get off their chest. Putting on the smiley mask doesn't deal with the pain, sadness, and unhappiness that may be underneath the disguise on display. The bad part about putting up a front is that when life finally hits you hard, and it will at some point or another, would you even recognize the person you've become after having to hold in so much for so long? Is your life really going in the direction you want it to be?
5.Alienated Perspective
When you become totally self-absorbed, you lose touch with what's really going on in the real world. It's cool to be focused on you, but let's be real. When everything is all about you, you can't really give a just opinion on certain life moments because you can't understand a person's viewpoint. Especially if you haven't been in their shoes. Of course, it's safe to stay wrapped up in our own lil worlds, but it also hinders us when we don't have many outside interactions with others. It causes us to lack empathy, knowledge, or the basic human nature of showing respect to a person who shows any signs of weakness. We all have our moments when we are down, frustrated, or off track, but that's where using discernment comes in handy. Analyzing whether or not a person is just going through a funk or if they're just an unfit individual will help you from losing out on people who should be a part of your life.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
For Those Who Struggle To Embrace Their Emotions
In My Feelings: Why You Can't Let Your Emotions Control You
How To Feel Emotionally Safe In Relationships
The Empath's Guide To An Emotionally-Balanced Life
Featured image by Giphy.
Corein Carter is a Los Angeles-based blogger, content creator and podcaster. The New Jersey native has had a love affair with words since she began penning poetry in high school and later went on to study journalism at WSSU. The self-proclaimed "Naturalista" embodies all things spiritual, plant-based, and self-care in both her daily life and through writing. You may recognize Corein's captivating voice and well-rounded perspectives from her fast growing podcast "Play on Words". Follow her journey on Twitter and Instagram @inlivingcolored.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
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When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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