

It's kinda crazy how, every year, many of us will tell ourselves that we won't overspend on the holidays the next year—only to turn around and rinse and repeat. Well, after a year like 2020 (whew chile), if there was ever a time when counting our pennies and making them stretch mattered, this would have to be it.
I know we're down to the wire when it comes to just how close we are to Christmas. Still, believe it or not, you can save a good little chunk of change leading into it. All you've got to do is apply at least 3-5 of the money-saving hacks that I'm about to share and you could find yourself easily pocketing $500 by December 25th. No joke.
1. Get a Side Gig
Back before Upwork decided to up and charge folks (aside from the huge percentage that they already take out of the gigs that you get on their site), I made some pretty good extra money on their site. It was cool to know that if I had a bill coming up, I could pitch my portfolio to a client who was in need of some last-minute work and get paid by the end of the week. While more times than not, the money wasn't super mind-blowing, it was steady and I could easily make $750-1000 a month. So yeah, out of all of the tips that I'm about to share on how to accumulate $500 over the next few weeks, probably the most obvious one is to consider getting a part-time job or getting in some contract work between now and ho-ho-ho day. If you need a little bit of inspiration, Millennial Money Man has 40 side hustle ideas. You can check out the list here.
2. Budget
I remember once reading an article that stated fewer people are budgeting, even though they know that they should. And boy oh boy, should they. When it comes to this year specifically, if you take the pandemic, job losses, evictions, food shortages and the mass amount of folks who don't have any type of health insurance, those are reasons enough to be intentional about counting every coin—about making sure that you hold every penny accountable.
Back when I didn't budget at all, man, it really was a trip, just how much money I wasted. It was nothing to go into a store, thinking that I was going to spend ten bucks, only to end up spending 75 of 'em. That's because, when you're not paying attention to how you're using your money, you really can throw a lot of it down the drain on things that are, at the end of the day, pretty inconsequential. So yeah, if you want to keep a little more money in your pocket this Christmas, the first thing you should do is put a budget together. And listen, don't think that you've got to spend every coin once you've decided where it should go either. At least until the new year rolls around, consider only getting the things that you absolutely need while putting the rest into a savings account. Trust me, the "wants" will still be there in 2021. Get them when you can better afford them. Oh, and if you'd like to check out a few budgeting apps, you can do so right here.
3. Use Your Debit Card
This money-saving hack is one that I used to really underestimate yet trust me, when you apply it, it really does work. Instead of pulling cash out from an ATM, commit to using your debit card (not your credit card; if you wanna save money, you might wanna scale back using it too) instead. The reason why I say this is because, if you pull out $20, it's a lot easier to spend all of it rather than if you use your card, so that it only takes out the exact cost of the purchase. If you apply this tip to the budget point that I just made, you can end up saving, at least a $100-200 easily each month.
4. Get Generic Brands
Did you know that you can easily save 20-30 percent of the money that you currently spend by opting to purchase generic brands of items? What are some examples? Canned foods. Cleaning products. Vitamins. Pet food. Shampoo, soap, and lotion. Baby formula (lawd, baby formula is high!). Bottled water. Baking supplies. Cereal. Gas.
For instance, say that you spend $150 every week at the grocery store. If you go the generic route on everything that I just mentioned, you could easily pocket $45. 45 times 4 weeks is 180 and 180 times 2 months is 360. $360 saved. See how easy that was?
5. Nix the Netflix
Netflix is like entertainment crack for a lot of folks. And just like a crack dealer, once it had subscribers good and hooked, they decided to increase the price. From what I've read, the standard plan is now $14 a month while the premium tiers are now $18. Cutting Netflix out altogether (at least for a little while) could give you $28-36 back. Hey, it might not seem like much but that will be an extra $50-60 dollars that you'll have to play with by the end of December.
While we're on this topic, if you've got a cable plan, temporarily disconnecting it could probably get you super close to $500 in two months too. My cable/internet package is $150 before taxes; taxes puts it at around $170. $170 times 2 is $340. Trust me, I have this conversation with myself, at least once a month (le sigh).
6. Skip the Nail Salon
I know a lot of folks are out here acting like we're not still in a pandemic (we are by the way) and so they're out here wilin' on the going out tip. That said, I personally don't think that there's anything wrong with getting your hair or nails done, so long as the salon that you go to follows proper COVID-19 protocol (appointment-setting to cut down on traffic, mask-wearing, etc.). What I will personally say is used to be an avid nail salon person. I would get powder put on my natural nails and then, there's no telling what kind of design I would get, every other week. That bill would easily be somewhere between $50-80 a pop. Then, if you added my pedicure into the mix, that was another $40 (before a tip). Now, since I'm not out in these streets, I've kept my nails alone and I only get a pedicure once a month. That's $100-160 back into my pocket. You might not wanna apply this personal saving hack, but it's just something to think about (check out "Uh, About That Salon Manicure. How To Treat Your Nails While You're Stuck At Home.").
7. Use Coupons
It's when I actually use coupons that I find myself mad-and-some-more-mad that I don't use them more often. Coupons at the grocery store have easily saved me $25 or so every visit and promo codes (like the ones on RetailMeNot's website)? Whew, don't even get me started on those. I actually read that, by using coupons regularly, we save ourselves $30-50 each week. 50 times 4 is 200. 200 times 2 is 400. $400. Just sayin'.
8. Don’t Eat Out (or Order Takeout)
I don't know about y'all, but I've had my fair share of takeout during this year. Something that comes into my mind, at least every fifth order, is an article I read about the fact that the average American spends a whopping $3,000 each year on going to restaurants or ordering food delivery. Three thousand bucks, y'all.
So, you already know what I'm gonna say. If you order takeout pretty frequently, you can easily save—looka here—$250 a month but opting to cook for yourself instead. It might be less convenient, but it can sho 'nuf put some real dollars into your pocket if you do it.
9. Fast from Alcohol
I think all of us enjoy a tall glass of something, every once in a while. At the same time, trips to the liquor store ain't all that cheap either. Why the site The Thrillist decided to go with Smirnoff and Grey Goose as the bottles they wanted to share the prices for across the country is beyond me, I'll just say that in my state, a bottle of Smirnoff is reportedly $11.09 per bottle while a bottle of Grey Goose is $25.39. As you can see, drinking can pull up quite a tab. So, if you're just at the point of clearing $400-450 or so, not purchasing alcohol until New Year's Eve is another way to reach your $500 goal.
10. Don’t Forget About the Sex Jar
A couple of years ago, I wrote the article, "5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar" and I still firmly stand by it. If you're skimming this article and don't have time to click on links, the gist is, that every time you have sex with your partner, you put money into a jar. Then, at the end of every 3, 6, 9, or 12 months (the longer you wait, the better), you count up your collection and spend it on something that you both will enjoy. The real catch about this extremely fun money-saving approach is, the amount of coins that you collect is totally up to 1) how much sex you have and 2) how much money you put in. Yet just think—if you had sex, every day, from 11/15 until 12/20 and you each put two dollars into the jar, that's $100 right there. A series of orgasmsand some extra money to spend on Christmas! Just something to think about, sis. #wink
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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