I Tried A $30 Curl Elongator On My 4C Hair
I love being a 4C girl. Our hair is so versatile with all of its kinky, coily glory.
I am always on the lookout for a new product to make my curls pop. I have been a longtime fan of DevaCurl, but haven't used it since I've grown all of the relaxer out of my hair for a couple of reasons: the price point and most of the women I saw in their advertising at the start of my natural hair journey (2011) didn't have my hair texture.
When I saw that DevaCurl released five products for "super curly hair," I was intrigued. The line has a no-poo shampoo, conditioner, a leave-in, a cream "curl styler" for definition, and a cream that elongates.
I decided to give the Super Stretch Coconut Curl Elongator a try.
Since I'd given up on creams in favor of gels, I thought this thirty-dollar option would be worth a try since it claims to elongate coily curls and create definition. I personally don't mind my hair's shrinkage, but I know that for many of us shrinkage can deter us from just washing our hair and letting it do its thing.
Before I tried the cream, I washed my hair with the line's No-Poo Decadence Zero Lather Ultra Moisturizing Milk Cleanser and conditioned with my go-to conditioner from Shea Moisture before styling. Moisturized hair is the key to getting my hair to look and feel its best. To keep things consistent, I used their Set It Free Moisture Lock Finishing Spray, that I've had for a while, but didn't really love for my hair type to see how all of the products would work together.
The one thing I loved about the shampoo was that my hair and scalp felt clean even without the lather. I have stayed away from no-poo shampoos because my hair rarely feels clean after washing.
Now that my hair was clean, I got to work smoothing the Super Stretch from root to tip. Since I hadn't used a cream product in nearly two years, I honestly wasn't sure what to expect. As I applied the cream, I could immediately see it elongating and defining my curls — with very little product.
It took about thirty minutes to run the product through the eight sections of my hair. Once I finished, I shook my hair out like a Deva stylist taught me and let it air dry.
My reason for taking the time to stretch my curls was to get it into one of the high puffs I spend hours watching YouTubers achieve. I've tried a puff when my hair is stretched with a blow dryer, but I don't like that I can't see any of my natural hair texture. But, when I try to achieve a puff with my hair in a wash and go state, I end up with a baby puff I hate.
Let me tell you something. DevaCurl came through.
My hair had the moisture and elongation it needed to get the perfect puff. I was so pleased, and I received so many compliments. We all know how important it is to find products that work, even if they cost us $30 bucks.
As a 4C girl, I love that DevaCurl added products for my hair type and I see that they're also speaking to us in their marketing.
Featured image by Bianca Lambert/Instagram
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Bianca Lambert is a proud Atlanta native soaking up the Los Angeles sun. She is the founder of Mae B: a stationery company for women of color and a digital content creator on a mission to elevate the voices of women of color everywhere.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images